The Jesuit Relations and Allied Documents 8

The Jesuit Relations and Allied Documents 8

Now if you were to ask me what my feelings were in the terrors of

death, and of a death so lingering as is that which comes from

hunger, I will say that I can hardly tell. Nevertheless, in order

that those who read this Chapter may not have a dread of coming

over to our assistance, I can truly say that this time of famine

was for me a time of abundance. When I realized that we began to

hover between the hope of life and the fear of death, I made up

my mind that God had condemned me to die of starvation for my

sins; and, a thousand times kissing the hand that had written

my sentence, I awaited the execution of it with a peace and joy

which may be experienced, but cannot be described. I confess that

one suffers, and that he must reconcile himself to the Cross; but

God glories in helping a soul when it is no longer aided by his

creatures. Let us continue on our way.

 

[199] Apres ceste famine nous eusmes quelques bons iours, la neige

qui n'estoit que trop haute pour auoir froid, mais trop basse pour

prendre l'Orignac, s'estant grandement accreuë sur la fin de Ianuier,

nos Chasseurs prirent quelques Orignaux, dont ils firent seicherie: or

soit que mon intemperance, ou que ce boucan dur comme du bois, & sale

comme les ruës fut contraire à mon estomach, ie tombay malade au beau

commencement de Feurier, me voila donc contraint de demeurer tousiours

couché sur la terre froide, ce n'estoit pas pour me guerir des

tranchées fort sensibles qui me tourmentoient, & qui me contraignoient

de sortir à toute heure iour & nuict, m'engageant à chaque sortie

dedans les neiges iusques aux genoux, & parfois quasi iusques à la

ceinture, notamment au commencement que nous nous estions cabanez en

quelque endroit, ces douleurs sensibles me durerent enuiron huict ou

dix iours, comme aussi vn grand mal d'estomach, & vne foiblesse de

coeur qui se répandoit par tout le corps, ie guary de ceste maladie,

non pas tout à fait: car ie ne fis [200] que traisner iusques à la

my-Caresme que le mal me reprit. Ie dis cecy pour faire voir le peu de

secours qu'on doit attendre des Sauuages quand on est malade: estant vn

iour pressé de la soif ie demanday vn peu d'eau, on me répondit qu'il

n'y en auoit point & qu'on me donneroit de la neige fonduë si i'en

voulois: comme ce breuuage estoit contraire à mon mal, ie fis entendre

à mon hoste que i'auois veu vn lac nõ pas loing de là, & que i'en eusse

bien voulu auoir vn peu d'eau, il fit la sourde oreille à cause que le

chemin estoit vn peu fascheux, si bien que non seulement ceste fois;

mais encore en tous les endroits que quelque fleuue ou quelque ruisseau

estoit vn peu trop esloigné de nostre cabane, il falloit boire de ceste

neige fonduë dans vne chaudiere, dont le cuiure estoit moins épais que

la saleté: qui voudra sçauoir l'amertume de ce breuuage qu'il le tire

d'vn vaisseau sortant de la fumée & qu'il en gouste.

 

[199] After this famine, we had some good days. The snow, which had

been only too deep to be cold, but too shallow to take the Moose,

having greatly increased toward the end of January, our Hunters

captured some Moose, which they dried. Now either on account of my

lack of moderation, or because this meat, dried as hard as wood and

as dirty as the street, did not agree with my stomach, I fell sick

in the very beginning of February. So behold me obliged to remain

all the time lying upon the cold ground; this did not tend to cure

me of the severe cramps that tormented me and compelled me to go

out at all hours of the day and night, plunging me every time in

snow up to my knees and sometimes almost up to my waist, especially

when we had first begun our encampment in any one place. These

severe attacks lasted about eight or ten days, and were accompanied

by a pain in the stomach, and a weakness in the heart, which spread

through my whole body. I recovered from this sickness, but not

entirely, for I was [200] only dragging myself around at mid-Lent,

when I was again seized with this disease. I tell the following in

order to show how little help may be expected from the Savages when

a person is sick. Being very thirsty one day, I asked for a little

water; they said there was none, and that they would give me some

melted snow if I wanted it. As this drink was bad for my disease, I

made my host understand that I had seen a lake not far from there,

and that I would like very much to have some of that water. He

pretended not to hear, because the road was somewhat bad; and it

happened thus not only this time, but at any place where the river

or brook was a little distance from our cabin. We had to drink this

snow melted in a kettle whose copper was less thick than the dirt;

if any one wishes to know how bitter this drink is, let him take

some from a kettle just out of the smoke and taste it.

 

Quant à la nourriture, ils partagent le malade comme les autres; s'ils

prennent de la chair fresche, ils luy en donnent sa part s'il en veut,

s'il ne la mange, [201] pour lors on ne se met pas en peine de luy

en garder vn petit morceau quand il voudra manger, on luy donnera de

ce qu'il y aura pour lors en la cabane, c'est à dire du boucan & non

pas du meilleur: car ils le reseruent pour les festins, si bien qu'vn

pauure malade est contraint bien souuent de manger parmy eux, ce qui

luy feroit horreur dans la santé mesme s'il estoit auec nos François.

Vne ame bien alterée de la soif du Fils de Dieu, ie veux dire des

souffrances, trouueroit icy dequoy se rassasier.

 

As to the food, they divide with a sick man just as with the

others; if they have fresh meat they give him his share, if he

wants it, but if he does not eat it [201] then, no one will take

the trouble to keep a little piece for him to eat when he wants it;

they will give him some of what they happen to have at the time in

the cabin, namely, smoked meat, and nothing better, for they keep

the best for their feasts. So a poor invalid is often obliged to

eat among them what would horrify him even in good health if he

were with our Frenchmen. A soul very thirsty for the Son of God, I

mean for suffering, would find enough here to satisfy it.

 

Il me reste encore à parler de leur conuersation, pour faire

entierement cognoistre ce qu'on peut souffrir auec ce peuple. Ie

m'estois mis en la compagnie de mon hoste & du Renegat, à condition

que nous n'hyuerneriõs point auec le Sorcier, que ie cognoissois pour

tres-meschant homme, ils m'auoient accordé ces conditions, mais ils

furent infidelles, ne gardans ny l'vne ny l'autre: ils m'engagerent

donc auec ce pretendu Magicien, comme ie diray cy apres; or ce

miserable homme, & la fumée m'ont esté les deux plus grands tourmens

[202] que i'aye enduré parmy ces Barbares: ny le froid, ny le chaud,

ny l'incommodité des chiens, ny coucher à l'air, ny dormir sur vn lict

de terre, ny la posture qu'il faut tousiours tenir dans leurs cabanes,

se ramassans en peloton, ou se couchans, ou s'asseans sans siege &

sans mattelas, ny la faim, ny la soif, ny la pauuerté & saleté de leur

boucan, ny la maladie, tout cela ne m'a semblé que ieu à comparaison de

la fumée & de la malice du Sorcier, auec lequel i'ay tousiours esté en

très mauuaise intelligence pour les raisons suiuantes.

 

It remains for me yet to speak of their conversation, in order to

make it clearly understood what there is to suffer among these

people. I had gone in company with my host and the Renegade, on

condition that we should not pass the winter with the Sorcerer,

whom I knew as a very wicked man. They had granted my conditions,

but they were faithless, and kept not one of them, involving me in

trouble with this pretended Magician, as I shall relate hereafter.

Now this wretched man and the smoke were the two greatest trials

[202] that I endured among these Barbarians. The cold, heat,

annoyance of the dogs, sleeping in the open air and upon the bare

ground; the position I had to assume in their cabins, rolling

myself up in a ball or crouching down or sitting without a seat or

a cushion; hunger, thirst, the poverty and filth of their smoked

meats, sickness,--all these, things were merely play to me in

comparison to the smoke and the malice of the Sorcerer, with whom I

have always been on a very bad footing, for the following reasons:--

 

Premierement, pource que m'ayant inuité d'hyuerner auec luy, ie

l'auois éconduy, dequoy il se ressentoit fort, voyant que ie faisois

plus d'estat de mon hoste, son cadet, que de luy.

 

First, because, when he invited me to winter with him, I refused;

and he resented this greatly, because he saw that I cared more for

my host, his younger brother, than I did for him.

 

Secondement, pource que ie ne pouuois assouuir sa cõuoitise, ie n'auois

rien qu'il ne me demandast, il m'a fait fort souuent quitter mon

manteau de dessus mes espaules pour s'en couurir: or ne pouuant pas

satisfaire à toutes ses demandes, il me voyoit de mauuais oeil, voire

mesme quand ie luy eusse donné tout le peu que i'auois, ie n'eusse

peu gagner [203] son amitié: car nous auions bien d'autres sujets de

diuorce.

 

Second, because I could not gratify his covetousness. I had nothing

that he did not ask me for, often taking my mantle off my shoulders

to put it on his own. Now as I could not satisfy all his demands,

he looked upon me with an evil eye; indeed, even if I had given him

all the little I had, I could not have gained [203] his friendship,

because we were at variance on other subjects.

 

En trois[i]esme lieu, voyant qu'il faisoit du Prophete, amusant ce

peuple par mille sottises qu'il inuente à mon aduis tous les iours,

ie ne laissois perdre aucune occasion de le conuaincre de niaiserie

& puerilité, mettant au iour l'impertinence de ses superstitions:

or c'estoit luy arracher l'ame du corps par violence: car comme il

ne sçauroit plus chasser, il fait plus que iamais du Prophete & du

Magicien pour conseruer son credit, & pour auoir les bons morceaux, si

bien qu'esbranlant son authorité qui se va perdant tous les iours, ie

le touchois à la prunelle de l'œil, & luy rauissois les delices de son

Paradis, qui sont les plaisirs de la gueule.

 

In the third place, seeing that he acted the Prophet, amusing these

people by a thousand absurdities, which he invented, in my opinion,

every day, I did not lose any opportunity of convincing him of

their nonsense and childishness, exposing the senselessness of his

superstitions. Now this was like tearing his soul out of his body;

for, as he could no longer hunt, he acted the Prophet and Magician

more than ever before, in order to preserve his credit, and to get

the dainty pieces. So that in shaking his authority, which was

diminishing daily, I was touching the apple of his eye and wresting

from him the delights of his Paradise, which are the pleasures of

his jaws.

 

En quatriesme lieu, se voulant recrer à mes dépens, il me faisoit par

fois escrire en sa langue des choses sales, m'assurant qu'il n'y auoit

rien de mauuais, puis il me faisoit prononcer ces impudences, que ie

n'entendois pas deuant les Sauuages: quelques femmes m'ayans aduerty

de ceste malice, ie luy dis que ie ne salirois plus mon papier ny ma

[204] bouche, de ces vilaines paroles, il ne laissa pas de me commander

de lire en la presence de toute la cabane, & de quelques Sauuages qui

estoient suruenus, quelque chose qu'il m'auoit dicté, ie luy répondis

que l'Apostat m'en donnat l'interpretation, & puis que ie lirois, ce

Renegat refusant de le faire, ie refusay aussi de lire, le Sorcier me

le commande auec empire, c'est à dire auec de grosses paroles, ie le

prie au commencement auec grande douceur de m'en dispenser: mais comme

il ne vouloit pas estre éconduit deuant les Sauuages, il me presse fort

& me fait presser par mon hoste qui fit du fasché: enfin recognoissant

que mes excuses n'auoiẽt plus de lieu, ie luy parle d'vn accent fort

haut, & apres luy auoir reproché ses lubricitez, ie luy addresse ces

paroles: Me voicy en ton pouuoir, tu me peux massacrer, mais tu ne

sçaurois me contraindre de proferer des paroles impudiques: elles ne

sont pas telles, me dit-il, Pourquoy donc, luy dis-je, ne m'en veut-on

pas donner l'interpretation? il sortit de ceste meslée fort vlceré.