Cicero Letters to Atticus, Vol. 2 of 3 40

Cicero Letters to Atticus, Vol. 2 of 3 40

it up for sale: but he refused. Nowadays I suppose all such property

is depreciated on account of the scarcity of money. It will suit me

admirably, or rather us, if you buy it. Don't despise the late owner's

folly: it is a most charming place. However, all these seats seem now

to be doomed to destruction.

 

I have answered three of your letters; but I await others. So far your

letters have been my support.

 

March 17.

 

 

 

 

X

 

CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Formiae, March 18_, B.C. _49_]

 

I have nothing to write. There is no news that I have heard, and all

your letters I answered yesterday. But as a sick heart not only robs

me of sleep, but will not allow me even to keep awake without the

greatest pain, I have begun to write to you something or other without

any definite subject, that I may have a sort of talk with you, the only

thing that gives me relief.

 

I seem to myself to have been mad from the very beginning, and the one

thing that tortures me is that I did not follow Pompey like a private

soldier, when he was slipping or rather rushing to ruin. I saw he was

terrified on the 17th of January: on that day I felt what he would do.

Since then I have never approved his course, and he has never ceased to

commit one blunder after another. Meantime not a letter to me, nothing

but thoughts of flight. Well! Just as in love affairs men are repelled

by untidiness, stupidity and indelicacy, so the ugliness of

 

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avertit ab amore. Nihil enim dignum faciebat, quare eius fugae comitem

me adiungerem. Nunc emergit amor, nunc desiderium ferre non possum,

nunc mihi nihil libri, nihil litterae, nihil doctrina prodest. Ita

dies et noctes tamquam avis illa mare prospecto, evolare cupio. Do, do

poenas temeritatis meae. Etsi quae fuit illa temeritas? quid feci non

consideratissime? Si enim nihil praeter fugam quaereretur, fugissem

libentissime, sed genus belli crudelissimi et maximi, quod nondum

vident homines quale futurum sit, perhorrui. Quae minae municipiis,

quae nominatim viris bonis, quae denique omnibus, qui remansissent!

quam crebro illud "Sulla potuit, ego non potero?"! Mihi autem haeserunt

illa. Male Tarquinius, qui Porsenam, qui Octavium Mamilium contra

patriam, impie Coriolanus, qui auxilium petiit a Volscis, recte

Themistocles, qui mori maluit, nefarius Hippias, Pisistrati filius,

qui in Marathonia pugna cecidit arma contra patriam ferens. At Sulla,

at Marius, at Cinna recte, immo iure fortasse; sed quid eorum victoria

crudelius, quid funestius? Huius belli genus fugi, et eo magis, quod

crudeliora etiam cogitari et parari videbam. Me, quem non nulli

conservatorem istius urbis, quem parentem esse dixerunt, Getarum et

Armeniorum et Colchorum copias ad eam adducere? me meis civibus famem,

vastitatem inferre Italiae? Hunc primum mortalem esse, deinde etiam

 

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his flight and his carelessness have estranged my love. For he has

done nothing of a kind to induce me to share his flight. But now my

old love breaks forth: now I miss him intolerably: now books, letters,

philosophy, do not help me one whit. Day and night, like that bird,[96]

I gaze at the sea, and long to take flight. Sorely am I punished for my

rashness. Yet what rashness was there? I acted with all deliberation.

For, if flight were his only object, I would have fled gladly enough.

But I was aghast at warfare so cruel and desperate, the upshot of which

is still unknown. What threats against the country towns, against

the loyalists by name, in fact against all who should stay behind!

How frequently has he remarked "Sulla could do it, and shall not I?"

I could not get rid of thoughts like these. It was base in Tarquin

to egg on Porsena and Octavius Mamilius against his country; it was

wicked in Coriolanus, to seek help from the Volscians. Themistocles

was right who preferred to die. What a dastard was Hippias, the son of

Pisistratus, who fell at the battle of Marathon, bearing arms against

his country! Yes, but Sulla and Marius and Cinna acted rightly, perhaps

one should say within their rights; but then victory brought cruelty

and death. I shrank from a war of that kind, and also because I saw

cruelty even greater was being planned and prepared. Was it for me,

whom some called the saviour and father of Rome, to bring against her

hordes of Getae, Armenians and Colchians? Was it for me to bring famine

on my fellow-townsmen and devastation on Italy? In the first place I

reflected that Caesar was

 

[96] Cf. Plato, _Ep._ vii, 348A, καθάπερ ὄρνις ποθῶν ποθὲν ἀναπτᾶσθαι

"Like a bird longing to fly somewhither."

 

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multis modis posse exstingui cogitabam, urbem autem et populum nostrum

servandum ad immortalitatem, quantum in nobis esset, putabam, et tamen

spes quaedam me oblectabat fore ut aliquid conveniret, potius quam aut

hic tantum sceleris aut ille tantum flagitii admitteret.

 

Alia res nunc tota est, alia mens mea. Sol, ut est in tua quadam

epistula, excidisse mihi e mundo videtur. Ut aegroto, dum anima est,

spes esse dicitur, sic ego, quoad Pompeius in Italia fuit, sperare non

destiti. Haec, haec me fefellerunt, et, ut verum loquar, aetas iam a

diuturnis laboribus devexa ad otium domesticarum me rerum delectatione

mollivit. Nunc, si vel periculose experiundum erit, experiar certe,

ut hinc avolem. Ante oportuit fortasse; sed ea, quae scripsisti, me

tardarunt, et auctoritas maxime tua. Nam, cum ad hunc locum venissem,

evolvi volumen epistularum tuarum, quod ego sub signo habeo servoque

diligentissime. Erat igitur in ea, quam X K. Febr. dederas, hoc modo:

"Sed videamus, et Gnaeus quid agat, et illius rationes quorsum fluant.

Quodsi iste Italiam relinquet, faciet omnino male, et, ut ego existimo,

ἀλογίστως, sed tum demum consilia nostra commutanda erunt." Hoc scribis

post diem quartum, quam ab urbe discessimus. Deinde VIII K. Febr.:

"Tantum modo Gnaeus noster ne, ut urbem ἀλογίστως reliquit, sic Italiam

relinquat." Eodem die das alteras litteras, quibus mihi consulenti

planissime respondes. Est enim sic: "Sed venio ad consultationem tuam.

Si Gnaeus Italia cedit, in urbem redeundum puto; quae enim finis

peregrinationis?" Hoc mihi

 

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mortal, and besides might be got rid of in many ways. But I thought

that our city and our people should be preserved so far as in us lay

for immortality; and anyhow I cherished a hope that some arrangement

might be made before Caesar perpetrated such a crime or Pompey such

iniquity.

 

Now the case is altered and my mind is altered too. The sun, as you

say in one of your letters, seems to me to have fallen out of the

universe. As a sick man is said to have hope, so long as he has breath,

so I did not cease to hope so long as Pompey was in Italy. This, this

was what deceived me, and to speak the truth after my long labours my

life's evening falling peacefully has made me lazy with the thought of

domestic pleasures. But now, even if risk must be run in fleeing hence,

assuredly I will run it. Perhaps I ought to have done it before: but

the points you wrote about delayed me, and especially your influence.

For, when I got so far, I opened the packet of your letters, which

I keep under seal and preserve with the greatest care. In a letter

dated the 21st of January, you make the following remark: "Let us see

Pompey's policy and the drift of his plans. Now if he leave Italy, it

will be wrong and to my mind irrational: but then and not till then

will be the time to change our plans." This you wrote on the fourth day

after I left Rome. Then on the 23rd of January: "I only pray that our

friend Pompey will not leave Italy, as he has irrationally left Rome."

On the same day you wrote another letter, a frank reply to my request

for advice. It runs: "But to answer the question on which you ask

advice, if Pompey leaves Italy, I think you ought to return to Rome:

for what can be the end to his

 

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plane haesit, et nunc ita video, infinitum bellum iunctum miserrima

fuga, quam tu peregrinationem ὑποκορίζη. Sequitur χρησμὸς VI K.

Februarias: "Ego, si Pompeius manet in Italia, nec res ad pactionem

venit, longius bellum puto fore; sin Italiam relinquit, ad posterum

bellum ἄσπονδον strui existimo." Huius igitur belli ego particeps et

socius et adiutor esse cogor, quod et ἄσπονδον est et cum civibus?

Deinde VII Idus Febr., cum iam plura audires de Pompei consilio,

concludis epistulam quandam hoc modo: "Ego quidem tibi non sim

auctor, si Pompeius Italiam relinquit, te quoque profugere. Summo

enim periculo facies nec rei publicae proderis; cui quidem posterius

poteris prodesse, si manseris." Quem φιλόπατριν ac πολιτικὸν hominis

prudentis et amici tali admonitu non moveret auctoritas? Deinceps III

Idus Febr. iterum mihi respondes consulenti sic: "Quod quaeris a me,

fugamne[97] defendam an moram utiliorem putem, ego vero in praesentia

subitum discessum et praecipitem profectionem cum tibi tum ipsi Gnaeo

inutilem et periculosam puto, et satius esse existimo vos dispertitos

et in speculis esse; sed medius fidius turpe nobis puto esse de

fuga cogitare." Hoc turpe Gnaeus noster biennio ante cogitavit. Ita

sullaturit animus eius et proscripturit iam diu. Inde, ut opinor, cum

tu ad me quaedam γενικώτερον scripsisses, et ego mihi a te significari

putassem, ut Italia cederem, detestaris hoc diligenter XI K. Mart.:

"Ego vero nulla epistula significavi, si Gnaeus Italia cederet, ut tu

una cederes, aut, si significavi, non dico fui inconstans,

 

[97] fugamne--putem, as _Otto Müller: M reads_ fugamne fidam (_corr.

from_ fedam) an moram defendam utiliorem putem. _Other suggested

emendations are_ fugamne suadeam an moram defendam utilioremque

putem _(Klotz), and_ fugamne foedam an moram desidem utiliorem putem(_Manutius_).