Cicero Letters to Atticus, Vol. 2 of 3 66

Cicero Letters to Atticus, Vol. 2 of 3 66

for this purpose. Please send letters in my name to anyone you think

should have them. Farewell.

 

Dec. 18.

 

 

 

 

IX

 

CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Brundisium, Jan. 3_, B.C. _47_]

 

I have certainly acted incautiously, as you say, and more hastily than

I should; and I have no hope seeing that I am tied here by the special

clause in the edict. If that had not been inserted by your own kind

efforts, I might have gone to some lonely retreat. Now not even that is

open to me. How does it help me that I came before the tribunes entered

on office, when my coming at all does not help? And what have I now

to hope from a man who never was friendly with me, when my ruin and

humiliation is secured even by law? Balbus' letters to me are becoming

daily cooler, and it may be he receives dozens against me. My own fault

is my ruin. Fortune has brought no ills upon me: I have brought them

all on my own head. For when I saw what kind of war it was going to be,

one side unprepared and weak and the other thoroughly well prepared, I

had made my plan--not a very courageous plan perhaps, but one for which

there were special excuses in my case. I gave way to my relations, or

rather I obeyed them. What the real feelings of one of them were--the

one for whom you speak--you will know from the letters he has sent to

you and to others. I should never have opened them, had it not been

for the following circumstance. A packet was brought to me. I undid

it to see if there was any letter for me. There was none; but one for

Vatinius and another for Ligurius. Those I had

 

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statim ardentes dolore venerunt scelus hominis clamantes; epistulas

mihi legerunt plenas omnium in me probrorum. Hic Ligurius furere. "Se

enim scire summo illum in odio fuisse Caesari. Illum tamen non modo

favisse, sed etiam tantam illi pecuniam dedisse honoris mei causa." Hoc

ego dolore accepto volui scire, quid scripsisset ad ceteros; ipsi enim

illi putavi perniciosum fore, si eius hoc tantum scelus percrebruisset.

Cognovi eiusdem generis. Ad te misi. Quas si putabis illi ipsi utile

esse reddi, reddes. Nil me laedet. Nam, quod resignatae sunt, habet,

opinor, eius signum Pomponia. Hac ille acerbitate initio navigationis

cum usus esset, tanto me dolore adfecit, ut postea iacuerim, neque nunc

tam pro se quam contra me laborare dicitur.

 

Ita omnibus rebus urgeor; quas sustinere vix possum vel plane nullo

modo possum. Quibus in miseriis una est pro omnibus, quod istam miseram

patrimonio, fortuna omni spoliatam relinquam. Quare te, ut polliceris,

videre plane velim. Alium enim, cui illam commendem, habeo neminem,

quoniam matri quoque eadem intellexi esse parata quae mihi. Sed, si me

non offendes, satis tamen habeto commendatam, patruumque in ea, quantum

poteris, mitigato.

 

Haec ad te die natali meo scripsi. Quo utinam susceptus non essem,

aut ne quid ex eadem matre postea natum esset! Plura scribere fletu

prohibeor.

 

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sent to them. They came to me at once boiling with indignation and

crying shame on him, and they read me letters full of all kinds of

abuse of myself. Then Ligurius burst out with fury, "to his certain

knowledge Caesar detested Quintus and had favoured him and given him

all that money out of compliment to me." After this blow I wanted

to know what he had said to the others: for I thought it would be

disastrous to his own reputation if such a scandal got abroad. I found

they were all of a piece, and have sent them to you. If you think it

will do him any good to have them delivered, have them delivered. It

won't do me any harm. Though the seals are broken, I think Pomponia

has his signet. When, at the beginning of our voyage, he adopted this

bitter tone, I was so upset that I was prostrated afterwards; and now

he is said to be working against me rather than for himself.

 

So I am weighed down by such a heavy burden of griefs that I can hardly

bear up under it; indeed, I cannot possibly bear up under it. And among

all my miseries there is one that outweighs all the rest--that I shall

leave that poor girl[175] deprived of her patrimony and penniless.

So I hope you will fulfil your promise and look after her. I have no

one else to entrust her to, for I hear that her mother is threatened

with the same fate as myself. If you do not find me here, take this as

sufficient injunction as regards her, and soften her uncle towards her

as far as you can.

 

[175] Tullia.

 

This I am writing on my birthday. Would that I had been left to die on

the day of my birth, or that my mother had never had another child.

Tears prevent me from writing more.

 

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X

 

CICERO ATTICO SAL.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi XII K. Febr. a. 707_]

 

Ad meas incredibiles aegritudines aliquid novi accedit ex iis, quae de

Q. Q. ad me adferuntur. P. Terentius, meus necessarius, operas in portu

et scriptura Asiae pro magistro dedit. Is Quintum filium Ephesi vidit

VI Idus Decembr. eumque studiose propter amicitiam nostram invitavit;

cumque ex eo de me percontaretur, eum sibi ita dixisse narrabat, se

mihi esse inimicissimum, volumenque sibi ostendisse orationis, quam

apud Caesarem contra me esset habiturus. Multa a se dicta contra eius

amentiam. Multa postea Patris simili scelere secum Quintum patrem

locutum; cuius furorem ex iis epistulis, quas ad te misi, perspicere

potuisti. Haec tibi dolori esse certo scio; me quidem excruciant, et eo

magis, quod mihi cum illis ne querendi quidem locum futurum puto.

 

De Africanis rebus longe alia nobis, ac tu scripseras, nuntiantur.

Nihil enim firmius esse dicunt, nihil paratius. Accedit Hispania et

alienata Italia, legionum nec vis eadem nec voluntas, urbanae res

perditae. Quid est, ubi acquiescam, nisi quam diu tuas litteras lego?

Quae essent profecto crebriores, si quid haberes, quo putares meam

molestiam minui posse. Sed tamen te rogo, ut ne intermittas scribere

ad me, quicquid erit, eosque, qui mihi tam crudeliter inimici sunt, si

odisse non potes, accuses tamen

 

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X

 

CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Brundisium Jan. 19_, B.C. _47_]

 

To my sorrows, which are incalculable, there has come an addition

in the news that is brought me about the two Quinti. My friend P.

Terentius was acting as deputy to the collector of port-dues and

pasture tax in Asia, and he saw young Quintus at Ephesus on the 8th

of December and gave him a cordial invitation on account of our

friendship. And when he asked him something about me, Quintus told

him that I was his deadliest enemy and showed him the manuscript of a

speech which he said he was going to deliver before Caesar against me.

Terentius said all he could to dissuade him from such folly. Afterwards

at Patrae the elder Quintus talked freely to him in the same scandalous

strain. What a rage he is in you will have inferred from the letters

I sent you. I am sure this will grieve you. To me it is positive

torture, especially as I don't expect I shall even have a chance of

expostulating with them.

 

The news I get about the state of affairs in Africa is quite different

to what you sent me. They say that all is as strong and as ready as

possible. Then there are Spain and Italy alienated from Caesar; his

legions are not what they were either in strength or in loyalty; and

in the city things are in a poor plight; I cannot get a moment's

peace except when I am reading your letters. They would certainly be

more frequent, if you had any news which you thought would lighten my

sorrows. Still I beg you not to neglect writing to me, whatever the

news may be; and, if you cannot bring yourself to hate those who have

shown such unfeeling hostility to me, at non ut aliquid proficias, sed ut tibi me carum esse sentiant. Plura

ad te scribam, si mihi ad eas litteras, quas proxime ad te dedi,

rescripseris. Vale.

 

XII K. Febr.