Cicero Letters to Atticus, Vol. 2 of 3 67

Cicero Letters to Atticus, Vol. 2 of 3 67

XI

 

CICERO ATTICO SAL.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707_]

 

Confectus iam cruciatu maximorum dolorum, ne si sit quidem, quod ad te

debeam scribere, facile id exsequi possim, hoc minus, quod res nulla

est, quae scribenda sit, cum praesertim ne spes quidem ulla ostendatur

fore melius. Ita iam ne tuas quidem litteras exspecto, quamquam semper

aliquid adferunt, quod velim. Quare tu quidem scribito, cum erit, cui

des. Ego tuis proximis, quas tamen iam pridem accepi, nihil habeo quod

rescribam; longo enim intervallo video immutata esse omnia; illa esse

firma, quae debeant, nos stultitiae nostrae gravissimas poenas pendere.

 

P. Sallustio curanda sunt HS X̅X̅X̅, quae accepi a Cn. Sallustio. Velim

videas, ut sine mora curentur. De ea re scripsi ad Terentiam. Atque hoc

ipsum iam prope consumptum est. Quare id quoque velim cum illa videas,

ut sit, qui utamur. Hic fortasse potero sumere, si sciam istic paratum

fore; sed, priusquam id scirem, nihil sum ausus sumere. Qui sit omnium

rerum status noster, vides. Nihil est mali, quod non et sustineam et

exspectem. Quarum

 

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any rate reprove them, not in the hope of doing any good, but to make

them feel that I am dear to you. I will write more, if you answer the

last letter I sent. Farewell.

 

Jan. 19.

 

 

 

 

XI

 

CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Brundisium, March 8_, B.C. _47_]

 

Worn out as I am by the agony of my grievous sorrows I should not find

it an easy task to write to you, even if there were anything I ought

to write; and it is far less easy, when I have nothing worth writing,

especially as there is not even a gleam of hope for better days. So

hopeless am I that now I do not look forward even to your letters,

though they always bring me something I like to hear. So pray write,

whenever you have a messenger. I have no answer to give to your last

letter, though it is a long time since I received it, for I see no

change in the long interval: the right cause is strong, and I am paying

very heavily for my folly.

 

The £250[176] which I had from Cn. Sallustius are to be paid to P.

Sallustius. Please see that it is done without delay. I have written

to Terentia about it. And now it is nearly all spent: so I wish you

would arrange with her for some money for me to go on with. I shall

possibly be able to get some here, if I know I have a balance at Rome;

but, before I know that, I dare not try. You see the position of all

my affairs. There is no sort of misfortune which I am not enduring and

expecting. For this state of affairs

 

[176] 30,000 sesterces.

 

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rerum eo gravior est dolor, quo culpa maior. Ille in Achaia non cessat

de nobis detrahere. Nihil videlicet tuae litterae profecerunt. Vale.

 

VIII Idus Mart.

 

 

 

 

XII

 

CICERO ATTICO SAL.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707_]

 

Cephalio mihi a te litteras reddidit a. d. VIII Id. Mart. vespere. Eo

autem die mane tabellarios miseram; quibus ad te dederam litteras.

Tuis tamen lectis litteris putavi iam aliquid rescribendum esse ea re

maxime, quod ostendis te pendere animi, quamnam rationem sim Caesari

allaturus profectionis meae tum, cum ex Italia discesserim. Nihil opus

est mihi nova ratione. Saepe enim ad eum scripsi multisque mandavi,

me non potuisse, cum cupissem, sermones hominum sustinere, multaque

in eam sententiam. Nihil enim erat, quod minus eum vellem existimare,

quam me tanta de re non meo consilio usum esse. Posteaque, cum mihi

litterae a Balbo Cornelio minore missae essent illum existimare Quintum

fratrem "lituum" meae profectionis fuisse (ita enim scripsit), qui

nondum cognossem, quae de me Quintus scripsisset ad multos, etsi multa

praesens in praesentem acerbe dixerat et fecerat, tamen nilo minus his

verbis ad Caesarem scripsi:

 

"De Quinto fratre meo non minus laboro quam de me ipso, sed eum tibi

commendare hoc meo tempore non audeo. Illud dumtaxat tamen audebo

petere

 

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I feel the greater sorrow, because my fault is greater. My brother in

Achaia does not cease slandering me. Your letter has of course had no

effect. Farewell.

 

March 8.

 

 

 

 

XII

 

CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.

 

 

[Sidenote: _Brundisium, March 8_, B.C. _47_]

 

Cephalio delivered a letter from you on the 8th of March in the

evening. Now on the morning of the same day I had sent messengers and

had given them a letter for you. But, when I read yours, I thought

I ought to send some answer, particularly because you show you are

in doubt as to what explanation I am going to offer Caesar of my

departure when I did depart from Italy. I have no necessity for a new

explanation, for I have often told him myself and instructed others

to tell him that I could not put up with people's talk, although I

wished it, and much else to the same effect. For there is nothing that

I should be more unwilling for him to imagine than that I did not make

up my own mind on so important a question. Afterwards I received a

letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger saying that Caesar thought my

brother Quintus had sounded the bugle for my departure (that was his

__EXPRESSION__). I was not then aware of what Quintus had written about

me to many people; but, though he had spoken and acted with great

bitterness when face to face with me, none the less I wrote to Caesar

as follows:

 

"I am as much troubled about my brother Quintus as about myself; but

under the present circumstances I do not venture to recommend him to

you. One thing, however, I will venture to ask you--I

 

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abs te, quod te oro, ne quid existimes ab illo factum esse, quo minus

mea in te officia constarent, minusve te diligerem, potiusque semper

illum auctorem nostrae coniunctionis fuisse, meique itineris comitem,

non ducem. Quare ceteris in rebus tantum ei tribues, quantum humanitas

tua amicitiaque vestra postulat. Ego ei ne quid apud te obsim, id te

vehementer etiam atque etiam rogo."

 

Quare, si quis congressus fuerit mihi cum Caesare, etsi non dubito,

quin is lenis in illum futurus sit idque iam declaraverit, ego tamen is

ero, qui semper fui. Sed, ut video, multo magis est nobis laborandum de

Africa; quam quidem tu scribis confirmari cotidie magis ad condicionis

spem quam victoriae. Quod utinam ita esset! Sed longe aliter esse

intellego teque ipsum ita existimare arbitror, aliter autem scribere

non fallendi, sed confirmandi mei causa, praesertim cum adiungatur ad

Africam etiam Hispania.

 

Quod me admones, ut scribam ad Antonium et ad ceteros, si quid

videbitur tibi opus esse, velim facias id, quod saepe fecisti. Nihil

enim mihi venit in mentem, quod scribendum putem. Quod me audis

erectiorem esse animo, quid putas, cum videas accessisse ad superiores

aegritudines praeclaras generi

 

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beseech you to acquit him of doing anything to disturb my sense of your

claims on me or to lessen my affection for you, and rather to regard

him as the main factor of our union and the companion, not the leader,

in my departure. And therefore in all other matters you will give

him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship

demands. What I earnestly beg you again and again is, that you will not

let me stand in his light with you."

 

So, if I ever do meet Caesar, though I have no doubt that he will be

lenient to Quintus and that he has already made that plain, I shall

behave as I always have behaved. But, as I see, what I ought to be

most anxious about is Africa, which you say is daily growing stronger,

though only to the extent of raising hopes of a compromise rather

than a victory. If it could only be true! But I read the signs quite

differently, and I think you agree with me, and only say the contrary

to hearten me, not to deceive me, especially as Spain too has now

joined Africa.[177]

 

[177] After his victory in Spain in 49 B.C., Caesar left Q. Cassius

Longinus in command there; but Spain went over to Pompey and both

Longinus and his successor, C. Trebonius, were driven out.

 

You advise me to write to Antony and others. If you think it necessary,

please do it for me, as you have often done before; for I cannot think

of anything worth writing. You hear I am less broken-spirited; but can

you believe it, when you see that to my former troubles are now added my son-in-law's fine doings?[178] However, pray do not cease[178] Dolabella as tribune endeavoured to introduce a bill for the relief of debtors, which caused riots.