A Lady of England 13

A Lady of England 13

DARESBY. Ah, here is my Patient. So you have got the cholera, my

Friend!

 

CORP. No, unless that’s one of your titles. Surrender or die!

 

DARESBY. He must be in a high fever! Be calm, my good man, I

will render you all the assistance in my power.

 

CORP. You will, will you?

 

DARESBY. Come with me to the house, come. This is no place for a

person in your state.

 

CORP. Well, if this arn’t droll! he’s trying to humbug me.

 

DARESBY. You may catch your death of cold.

 

CORP. I’ll catch nothing but you. Come along, Sir, offer no

resistance, for it’s of no use. I’m sorry for you, but I’ve a

duty to perform, and a reward to get.

 

DARESBY. What do you mean, fellow? Stand off!

 

CORP. Ho! guards there! [_DARESBY is surrounded._]

 

DARESBY. This is some error. By whose warrant do you dare to

apprehend one of his Majesty’s subjects?

 

CORP. No use in all that deception, Sir: all’s discovered now.

 

DARESBY. What’s discovered, fellow, what deception? Who dares

use such terms to me! You shall answer for your conduct, Sir;

this shall not be passed over, I’ll warrant you.

 

CORP. I hope not, Sir.

 

DARESBY. This is not to be endured. By whose orders do you

presume to place me under arrest?

 

CORP. We are under the orders of Colonel Stumply.

 

DARESBY. I must see the Colonel instantly. He shall give me

an explanation of this extraordinary affair. Take me to him

directly.

 

CORP. All in good time, Sir. Stickum, have you handcuffs with

you?

 

DARESBY. Handcuffs, villain!

 

STICKUM. No.

 

CORP. Keep your hand on his collar, then. Soldiers, present

bayonets. Let him attempt to escape, and he dies.

 

DARESBY. With what effrontery ...

 

CORP. Move on, Sir, if you please. [_To the Soldiers._]

Keep your eye on him. If he but raise his hand or turn his

head--fire! [_Exeunt._]

 

 

SCENE V.

 

THE GARDEN GATE.

 

O’SHANNON.

 

O’SHAN. A could, misty, morning, and I am left here to keep

watch without a drop of the cratur to cheer my heart or keep my

spirits from sinking. There’s all the rest of them gone to catch

the Pretender and get the prize-money, and it’s nothing that I’m

likely to catch here but a cold. I wish that I had never left

the tallow business, that I do, for all this murthering work. It

was a lucky chance that we were a day too late for the fair at

Culloden; it’s no fancy I have for the Highlanders’ dirks. Awful

slashing work they made, ’tis said. Well-a-day! I must shoulder

my gun; if the Corporal found me standing at ease, he would

order me a round dozen: there’s no fear of it’s going off for

its own accord, the cratur, for I forgot to load it this morning.

 

_Enter CHARLES in disguise._

 

CHARLES. [_Aside._] And there is a Sentry! Horatia was right!

But what they should want to arrest either me or my Father for

is more than I can comprehend! This is really nervous work. I

fear that I shall find it as difficult to pass this fellow as

I found it at school to parse a sentence from my grammar-book.

Notwithstanding the dress with which Ratty provided me, I shall

need all the address of which I am master to get through this

scrape should he address me. I must put on an air of confidence.

Perhaps he may let me pass without question.

 

O’SHAN. A black morning, Ma’am.

 

CHARLES. [_Attempting to slip past._] Did you ever see mourning

any other colour?

 

O’SHAN. Can’t pass here, Ma’am.

 

CHARLES. No! and why?

 

O’SHAN. ‘Cause I am posted here to keep a good watch.

 

CHARLES. [_Attempting to pass again._] Easier to keep a good

watch than to get one!

 

O’SHAN. I have orders to let no one pass.

 

CHARLES. O but, my good fellow, I have very important business.

You must let me go.

 

O’SHAN. Keep back, Ma’am. Now I thinks on’t, your hood looks

rather suspicious.

 

CHARLES. [_Retreating a step._] Does it? A sort of robbin’ hood,

I suppose. [_Aside._] I wish the fellow were at Jericho.

 

O’SHAN. And that dress was never made for you? Let me see a

little closer. [_Advancing._]

 

CHARLES. [_Retreating. Aside._] Shall I run for my life?

 

O’SHAN. Stop, stop, my good Lady! Methinks your dress is

uncommon short, too, it hardly reaches to the clocks of your

stockings.

 

CHARLES. Mind your watch, and leave my clocks alone. [_Aside._]

O dear! O dear! If I were but once fairly off! [_Attempts to

run._]

 

O’SHAN. Stop, or I’ll shoot ye! I’ll send a bullet through your

head if ye stir an inch farther.

 

CHARLES. [_Aside._] I’m done for!

 

O’SHAN. [_Aside._] I’ll make sure. [_Suddenly darts towards

Charles and pulls back his hood._] Hillo! hillo! I’ve caught

him! I’ve caught him, ’tis the man himself.

 

CHARLES. [_Aside._] One struggle for life. [_Aloud._] Beware,

fellow, I have arms. [_Aside._] None but what nature gave me.

 

O’SHAN. [_Retreating a step. Aside._] Murther! and the gun is

not loaded!

 

CHARLES. [_Aside._] I’ve staggered him! [_Aloud._] Lay but a

finger on me and I’ll lay you with the dust.

 

O’SHAN. Keep off, or I’ll shoot ye.

 

CHARLES. [_Retreating._] A fig for your gun!

 

O’SHAN. [_Aside. Retreating._] I wish some one would come. I’ve

heard he’s a raal hero. I’ll call for help. Holloa! there.

 

CHARLES. Hold your peace, or I’ll cut you piece-meal.

 

O’SHAN. I’ll blow your brains out, I will! [_Aside._] He can’t

guess that it’s not loaded.

 

CHARLES. [_Aside._] If he should fire!

 

O’SHAN. [_Aside._] If he should fight! My poor Mother; och, if

she could see me now, ’twould pit her into high-strikes. Is no

one coming to help me?

 

CHARLES. [_Aside._] If I could but touch his kinder feelings! I

have been accustomed to steal hearts, but I fear that I should

find his steeled already. I must make one more effort to steal

past him. But the sight of his matchlock makes my blood run cold.

 

O’SHAN. Och! he’s coming nearer. O for pity’s sake ...

 

CHARLES. If mercy ever touched your bosom ...

 

_Enter CORPORAL CATCHUP._

 

O’SHAN. Catch him! catch him! ’tis he, the Pretender! catch him,

Corporal! collar him! never fear!

 

CORP. Who? the old woman?

 

O’SHAN. Catch him, I say, and never be frightened for him, man.

I found him out.

 

CHARLES. So--all is lost.

 

CORP. A man in disguise! it must be he. Bind him, O’Shannon.

This is a prize indeed.

 

O’SHAN. Ah, poor gintleman, your troubles will soon be pit an

end to. Ah! ye may well sigh, for no man laughs on his way to

the gallows.

 

CHARLES. The gallows! is it possible that so inhuman a murder

can be contemplated?

 

O’SHAN. O ye may be satisfied of it! There’s only one thing

that’s doubtful, I’m thinking.

 

CHARLES. What’s that?

 

O’SHAN. Whether they’ll stick your head on the Lord Mayor’s mace

before or after they’ve hung you!