Mr. Punch in Wig and Gown 1

Mr. Punch in Wig and Gown 1

Mr. Punch in Wig and Gown

The lighter side of bench and bar

 

 

 

LIFE IN LONDON

COUNTRY LIFE

IN THE HIGHLANDS

SCOTTISH HUMOUR

IRISH HUMOUR

COCKNEY HUMOUR

IN SOCIETY

AFTER DINNER STORIES

IN BOHEMIA

AT THE PLAY

MR. PUNCH AT HOME

ON THE CONTINONG

RAILWAY BOOK

AT THE SEASIDE

MR. PUNCH AFLOAT

IN THE HUNTING FIELD

MR. PUNCH ON TOUR

WITH ROD AND GUN

MR. PUNCH AWHEEL

BOOK OF SPORTS

GOLF STORIES

IN WIG AND GOWN

ON THE WARPATH

BOOK OF LOVE

WITH THE CHILDREN

 

 

 

 

STATING THE CASE

 

[Illustration]

 

Mr. Punch has done his share towards bringing about various law

reforms. We find him hammering away continually for many years at the

Law’s delays, its costliness, its inconsistencies, and the evils he

has satirised, the inconveniences he has laughed at have largely been

remedied. He makes fun of the jesting judge and the bullying barrister,

while he is genially amusing at the expense of the timid and blundering

witness, and the youthful vanity or elderly pomposity of members of the

bench and bar. He is rightly bitter now and then when he touches on

the comparatively light sentences inflicted on audacious, but wealthy,

swindlers, and the comparatively heavy penalties exacted from lesser,

poorer, and more ignorant burglars and pickpockets; but in the main

he devotes himself to the lighter side of law and justice and the

professions that are concerned in its administration.

 

Here and there you come across echoes of famous law suits--of the

Tichborne trial, the Parnell Commission; here and there you have

reminders of Bradlaugh’s fight to get into Parliament without taking

the oath; of the days when London was agitated by the Fenian scare and

valorous householders were sworn in as special constables, and again

when everybody passing into the law courts had to open his bag that

the policeman on duty might be assured that he was not carrying a bomb

inside it.

 

The reading matter is particularly apt and good; not a little of it

was written by barristers in the intervals of waiting for briefs, and

the writers were thus intimately acquainted with the grievances they

ventilated, and were often suffering the hardships of the briefless

themselves when they sat down to make fun of them.

 

 

 

 

[Illustration]

 

MR. PUNCH IN WIG AND GOWN

 

 

OUR LEGAL CORRESPONDENCE

 

NOVICE.--(_a_) Don’t, unless you want penal servitude for life. (_b_)

Any respectable burglar. (_c_) We do not answer questions on chiropody

in this column.

 

HARD UP.--_Brougham on Conveyances_ will explain whether your contract

to purchase the motor-car is binding or not.

 

FARMER.--It is either an “escrow” or a scarecrow; impossible to state

definitely without further information.

 

B. AND S.--There is no reduction (of the fine) in taking a

quantity--generally the reverse.

 

TRAVELLER.--By travelling in the manner you describe, viz., under the

seat, you render yourself liable to “stoppage _in transitu_,” and to

completing the rest of your journey on foot “_in custodia legis_.” The

authorities on this point are very clear. See _Constable’s Reports_,

P.C. X. Y. Z., Vol. XIV., pages 72-85.

 

JUSTICE.--If the defendant lost, you, being plaintiff would win, and

_vice versâ_. Consult a solicitor.

 

STUDENT.--Can only spare space for half your questions. “Aggravated

assault” explains itself, an assault which aggravates or annoys you.

“Damage fesant,” a badly shot pheasant. “Simple larceny,” taking an

empty purse out of a pocket in which a sovereign is lying loose.

“Misdemeanour” is of course the demeanour of an unmarried woman, or in

plainer language, the airs she gives herself.

 

* * * * *

 

[Illustration: “Gentlemen, I am ready to admit that his career in the

past has not been free from blemish----”]

 

* * * * *

 

A BRIEF EXISTENCE.--A barrister’s.

 

* * * * *

 

THE LETTER OF THE LAW.--The “letter of the law” must be _x_. It

expresses a quantity that is unknown.

 

* * * * *

 

A LAW SUIT.--Wig, gown, and bands.

 

* * * * *

 

HOW TO MAKE USE OF “THE BLOCK IN THE LAW COURTS.”--Try wigs on it.

 

* * * * *

 

GOOD LEGAL SECURITIES.--De-Benchers of Lincoln’s Inn.

 

[Illustration]

 

* * * * *

 

[Illustration: “WHEN THE CAT’S AWAY”----

 

Mr. Blazer, K.C., returns unexpectedly to his chambers in the middle of

vacation.]

 

* * * * *

 

THE BAR AND ITS MOANING

 

I am watching, I am waiting,

And my hair is growing grey,

For it is exasperating,

That no business comes my way.

 

Other men in briefs may revel

When successfully they plead,

I am only a poor “devil,”

Often worked but never fee’d.

 

E’en the bank-clerk in the city

Has a salary that’s small,

But we juniors, more’s the pity,

Don’t make anything at all.

 

Living still on false pretences,

Since the truth we dare not own,

Some not earning their expenses

If the facts were truly known.

 

And meantime the years are flying,

Bringing changes p’raps for some,

Not for me tho’; I’m relying

On the practice that’s to come.

 

* * * * *

 

LEGAL MEM.--A barrister is only invited to sit on the Bench when he has

had some considerable amount of standing at the Bar.

 

* * * * *

 

“A WINDING-UP CASE.”--A watch’s.

 

* * * * *

 

[Illustration: PROBABLY THE NEXT ABSURDITY

 

In ladies’ winter costumes.]

 

* * * * *

 

HELPFUL HINTS TO YOUNG BARRISTERS

 

[Illustration: “Never miss a chance of ingratiating yourself with the

jury, even at the expense of the judge.”

 

(An opportunity often occurs after lunch.)]

 

[Illustration: “Always laugh at the judge’s jokes. It is not upon such

an occasion that his lordship observes that he _will_ NOT have the

court turned into a theatre.”]

 

[Illustration: “Show no mercy to the police; they have few friends.”]