When I made my appearance at M. D---- R-----'s, I could see pleasure on
everybody's face. Those moments have always been so dear to me that I
have never forgotten them, they have afforded me consolation in the time
of adversity. If you would relish pleasure you must endure pain, and
delights are in proportion to the privations we have suffered. M. D----
R---- was so glad to see me that he came up to me and warmly embraced
me. He presented me with a beautiful ring which he took from his own
finger, and told me that I had acted quite rightly in not letting
anyone, and particularly himself, know where I had taken refuge.
"You can't think," he added, frankly, "how interested Madame F---- was
in your fate. She would be really delighted if you called on her
immediately."
How delightful to receive such advice from his own lips! But the word
"immediately" annoyed me, because, having passed the night on board the
felucca, I was afraid that the disorder of my toilet might injure me in
her eyes. Yet I could neither refuse M. D---- R-----, nor tell him the
reason of my refusal, and I bethought myself that I could make a merit
of it in the eyes of Madame F---- I therefore went at once to her house;
the goddess was not yet visible, but her attendant told me to come in,
assuring me that her mistress's bell would soon be heard, and that she
would be very sorry if I did not wait to see her. I spent half an hour
with that young and indiscreet person, who was a very charming girl, and
learned from her many things which caused me great pleasure, and
particularly all that had been said respecting my escape. I found that
throughout the affair my conduct had met with general approbation.
As soon as Madame F---- had seen her maid, she desired me to be shewn
in. The curtains were drawn aside, and I thought I saw Aurora surrounded
with the roses and the pearls of morning. I told her that, if it had not
been for the order I received from M. D---- R---- I would not have
presumed to present myself before her in my travelling costume; and in
the most friendly tone she answered that M. D---- R-----, knowing all
the interest she felt in me, had been quite right to tell me to come,
and she assured me that M. D---- R----- had the greatest esteem for me.
"I do not know, madam, how I have deserved such great happiness, for all
I dared aim at was toleration."
"We all admired the control you kept over your feelings when you
refrained from killing that insolent madman on the spot; he would have
been thrown out of the window if he had not beat a hurried retreat."
"I should certainly have killed him, madam, if you had not been
present."
"A very pretty compliment, but I can hardly believe that you thought of
me in such a moment."
I did not answer, but cast my eyes down, and gave a deep sigh. She
observed my new ring, and in order to change the subject of conversation
she praised M. D---- R----- very highly, as soon as I had told her how
he had offered it to me. She desired me to give her an account of my
life on the island, and I did so, but allowed my pretty needlewomen to
remain under a veil, for I had already learnt that in this world the
truth must often remain untold.
All my adventures amused her much, and she greatly admired my conduct.
"Would you have the courage," she said, "to repeat all you have just
told me, and exactly in the same terms, before the proveditore-
generale?"
"Most certainly, madam, provided he asked me himself."
"Well, then, prepare to redeem your promise. I want our excellent
general to love you and to become your warmest protector, so as to
shield you against every injustice and to promote your advancement.
Leave it all to me."
Her reception fairly overwhelmed me with happiness, and on leaving her
house I went to Major Maroli to find out the state of my finances. I was
glad to hear that after my escape he had no longer considered me a
partner in the faro bank. I took four hundred sequins from the cashier,
reserving the right to become again a partner, should circumstances
prove at any time favourable.
In the evening I made a careful toilet, and called for the Adjutant
Minolto in order to pay with him a visit to Madame Sagredo, the
general's favourite. With the exception of Madame F---- she was the
greatest beauty of Corfu. My visit surprised her, because, as she had
been the cause of all that had happened, she was very far from expecting
it. She imagined that I had a spite against her. I undeceived her,
speaking to her very candidly, and she treated me most kindly, inviting
me to come now and then to spend the evening at her house.
But I neither accepted nor refused her amiable invitation, knowing that
Madame F---- disliked her; and how could I be a frequent guest at her
house with such a knowledge! Besides, Madame Sagredo was very fond of
gambling, and, to please her, it was necessary either to lose or make
her win, but to accept such conditions one must be in love with the lady
or wish to make her conquest, and I had not the slightest idea of
either. The Adjutant Minolto never played, but he had captivated the
lady's good graces by his services in the character of Mercury.
When I returned to the palace I found Madame F---- alone, M. D---- R----
being engaged with his correspondence. She asked me to sit near her, and
to tell her all my adventures in Constantinople. I did so, and I had no
occasion to repent it. My meeting with Yusuf's wife pleased her
extremely, but the bathing scene by moonlight made her blush with
excitement. I veiled as much as I could the too brilliant colours of my
picture, but, if she did not find me clear, she would oblige me to be
more explicit, and if I made myself better understood by giving to my
recital a touch of voluptuousness which I borrowed from her looks more
than from my recollection, she would scold me and tell me that I might
have disguised a little more. I felt that the way she was talking would
give her a liking for me, and I was satisfied that the man who can give
birth to amorous desires is easily called upon to gratify them. It was
the reward I was ardently longing for, and I dared to hope it would be
mine, although I could see it only looming in the distance.
It happened that, on that day, M. D---- R---- had invited a large
company to supper. I had, as a matter of course, to engross all
conversation, and to give the fullest particulars of all that had taken
place from the moment I received the order to place myself under arrest
up to the time of my release from the 'bastarda'. M. Foscari was seated
next to me, and the last part of my narrative was not, I suppose,
particularly agreeable to him.
The account I gave of my adventures pleased everybody, and it was
decided that the proveditore-generale must have the pleasure of hearing
my tale from my own lips. I mentioned that hay was very plentiful in
Casopo, and as that article was very scarce in Corfu, M. D---- R----
told me that I ought to seize the opportunity of making myself agreeable
to the general by informing him of that circumstance without delay. I
followed his advice the very next day, and was very well received, for
his excellency immediately ordered a squad of men to go to the island
and bring large quantities of hay to Corfu.
A few days later the Adjutant Minolto came to me in the coffee-house,
and told me that the general wished to see me: this time I promptly
obeyed his commands.
CHAPTER XV
Progress of My Amour--My Journey to Otranto--I Enter the Service of
Madame F.--A Fortunate Excoriation
The room I entered was full of people. His excellency, seeing me, smiled
and drew upon me the attention of all his guests by saying aloud, "Here
comes the young man who is a good judge of princes."
"My lord, I have become a judge of nobility by frequenting the society
of men like you."
"The ladies are curious to know all you have done from the time of your
escape from Corfu up to your return."
"Then you sentence me, monsignor, to make a public confession?"
"Exactly; but, as it is to be a confession, be careful not to omit the
most insignificant circumstance, and suppose that I am not in the room."
"On the contrary, I wish to receive absolution only from your
excellency. But my history will be a long one."
"If such is the case, your confessor gives you permission to be seated."
I gave all the particulars of my adventures, with the exception of my
dalliance with the nymphs of the island.
"Your story is a very instructive one," observed the general.
"Yes, my lord, for the adventures shew that a young man is never so near
his utter ruin than when, excited by some great passion, he finds
himself able to minister to it, thanks to the gold in his purse."
I was preparing to take my leave, when the majordomo came to inform me
that his excellency desired me to remain to supper. I had therefore the
honour of a seat at his table, but not the pleasure of eating, for I was
obliged to answer the questions addressed to me from all quarters, and I
could not contrive to swallow a single mouthful. I was seated next to
the Proto-Papa Bulgari, and I entreated his pardon for having ridiculed
Deldimopulo's oracle. "It is nothing else but regular cheating," he
said, "but it is very difficult to put a stop to it; it is an old
custom."
A short time afterwards, Madame F---- whispered a few words to the
general, who turned to me and said that he would be glad to hear me
relate what had occurred to me in Constantinople with the wife of the
Turk Yusuf, and at another friend's house, where I had seen bathing by
moonlight. I was rather surprised at such an invitation, and told him
that such frolics were not worth listening to, and the general not
pressing me no more was said about it. But I was astonished at Madame F-
---'s indiscretion; she had no business to make my confidences public. I
wanted her to be jealous of her own dignity, which I loved even more
than her person.
Two or three days later, she said to me,
"Why did you refuse to tell your adventures in Constantinople before the
general?"
"Because I do not wish everybody to know that you allow me to tell you
such things. What I may dare, madam, to say to you when we are alone, I
would certainly not say to you in public."
"And why not? It seems to me, on the contrary, that if you are silent in
public out of respect for me, you ought to be all the more silent when
we are alone."
"I wanted to amuse you, and have exposed myself to the danger of
displeasing you, but I can assure you, madam, that I will not run such a
risk again."
"I have no wish to pry into your intentions, but it strikes me that if
your wish was to please me, you ought not to have run the risk of
obtaining the opposite result. We take supper with the general this
evening, and M. D---- R----- has been asked to bring you. I feel certain
that the general will ask you again for your adventures in
Constantinople, and this time you cannot refuse him."
M. D---- R---- came in and we went to the general's. I thought as we
were driving along that, although Madame F---- seemed to have intended
to humiliate me, I ought to accept it all as a favour of fortune,
because, by compelling me to explain my refusal to the general; Madame
F---- had, at the same time, compelled me to a declaration of my
feelings, which was not without importance.
The 'proveditore-generale' gave me a friendly welcome, and kindly handed
me a letter which had come with the official dispatches from
Constantinople. I bowed my thanks, and put the letter in my pocket: but
he told me that he was himself a great lover of news, and that I could
read my letter. I opened it; it was from Yusuf, who announced the death
of Count de Bonneval. Hearing the name of the worthy Yusuf, the general
asked me to tell him my adventure with his wife. I could not now refuse,
and I began a story which amused and interested the general and his
friends for an hour or so, but which was from beginning to end the work
of my imagination.
Thus I continued to respect the privacy of Yusuf, to avoid implicating
the good fame of Madame F----, and to shew myself in a light which was
tolerably advantageous to me. My story, which was full of sentiment, did
me a great deal of honour, and I felt very happy when I saw from the
expression of Madame F----'s face that she was pleased with me, although
somewhat surprised.
When we found ourselves again in her house she told me, in the presence
of M. D---- R-----, that the story I had related to the general was
certainly very pretty, although purely imaginary, that she was not angry
with me, because I had amused her, but that she could not help remarking
my obstinacy in refusing compliance with her wishes. Then, turning to M.
D---- R-----, she said,
"M. Casanova pretends that if he had given an account of his meeting
with Yusuf's wife without changing anything everybody would think that I
allowed him to entertain me with indecent stories. I want you to give
your opinion about it. Will you," she added, speaking to me, "be so good
as to relate immediately the adventure in the same words which you have
used when you told me of it?"
"Yes, madam, if you wish me to do so."
Stung to the quick by an indiscretion which, as I did not yet know women
thoroughly, seemed to me without example, I cast all fears of
displeasing to the winds, related the adventure with all the warmth of
an impassioned poet, and without disguising or attenuating in the least
the desires which the charms of the Greek beauty had inspired me with.
"Do you think," said M. D---- R---- to Madame F-----, "that he ought to
have related that adventure before all our friends as he has just
related it to us?"
"If it be wrong for him to tell it in public, it is also wrong to tell
it to me in private."
"You are the only judge of that: yes, if he has displeased you; no, if
he has amused you. As for my own opinion, here it is: He has just now
amused me very much, but he would have greatly displeased me if he had
related the same adventure in public."
"Then," exclaimed Madame F----, "I must request you never to tell me in
private anything that you cannot repeat in public."
"I promise, madam, to act always according to your wishes."
"It being understood," added M. D---- R-----, smiling, "that madam
reserves all rights of repealing that order whenever she may think fit."
I was vexed, but I contrived not to show it. A few minutes more, and we
took leave of Madame F----.
I was beginning to understand that charming woman, and to dread the
ordeal to which she would subject me. But love was stronger than fear,
and, fortified with hope, I had the courage to endure the thorns, so as
to gather the rose at the end of my sufferings. I was particularly
pleased to find that M. D---- R---- was not jealous of me, even when she
seemed to dare him to it. This was a point of the greatest importance.
A few days afterwards, as I was entertaining her on various subjects,
she remarked how unfortunate it had been for me to enter the lazzaretto
at Ancona without any money.
"In spite of my distress," I said, "I fell in love with a young and
beautiful Greek slave, who very nearly contrived to make me break
through all the sanitary laws."
"How so?"
"You are alone, madam, and I have not forgotten your orders."
"Is it a very improper story?"
"No: yet I would not relate it to you in public."
"Well," she said, laughing, "I repeal my order, as M. D---- R---- said I
would. Tell me all about it."
I told my story, and, seeing that she was pensive, I exaggerated the
misery I had felt at not being able to complete my conquest.
"What do you mean by your misery? I think that the poor girl was more to
be pitied than you. You have never seen her since?"
"I beg your pardon, madam; I met her again, but I dare not tell you when
or how."
"Now you must go on; it is all nonsense for you to stop. Tell me all; I
expect you have been guilty of some black deed."
"Very far from it, madam, for it was a very sweet, although incomplete,
enjoyment."
"Go on! But do not call things exactly by their names. It is not
necessary to go into details."
Emboldened by the renewal of her order, I told her, without looking her
in the face, of my meeting with the Greek slave in the presence of
Bellino, and of the act which was cut short by the appearance of her
master. When I had finished my story, Madame F---- remained silent, and
I turned the conversation into a different channel, for though I felt
myself on an excellent footing with her, I knew likewise that I had to
proceed with great prudence. She was too young to have lowered herself
before, and she would certainly look upon a connection with me as a
lowering of her dignity.
Fortune which had always smiled upon me in the most hopeless cases, did
not intend to ill-treat me on this occasion, and procured me, on that
very same day, a favour of a very peculiar nature. My charming ladylove
having pricked her finger rather severely, screamed loudly, and
stretched her hand towards me, entreating me to suck the blood flowing
from the wound. You may judge, dear reader, whether I was long in
seizing that beautiful hand, and if you are, or if you have ever been in
love, you will easily guess the manner in which I performed my
delightful work. What is a kiss? Is it not an ardent desire to inhale a
portion of the being we love? Was not the blood I was sucking from that
charming wound a portion of the woman I worshipped? When I had completed
my work, she thanked me affectionately, and told me to spit out the
blood I had sucked.
"It is here," I said, placing my hand on my heart, "and God alone knows
what happiness it has given me."
"You have drunk my blood with happiness! Are you then a cannibal?"
"I believe not, madam; but it would have been sacrilege in my eyes if I
had suffered one single drop of your blood to be lost."
One evening, there was an unusually large attendance at M. D---- R-----
's assembly, and we were talking of the carnival which was near at hand.
Everybody was regretting the lack of actors, and the impossibility of
enjoying the pleasures of the theatre. I immediately offered to procure
a good company at my expense, if the boxes were at once subscribed for,
and the monopoly of the faro bank granted to me. No time was to be lost,
for the carnival was approaching, and I had to go to Otranto to engage a
troop. My proposal was accepted with great joy, and the proveditore-
generale placed a felucca at my disposal. The boxes were all taken in
three days, and a Jew took the pit, two nights a week excepted, which I
reserved for my own profit.
The carnival being very long that year, I had every chance of success.
It is said generally that the profession of theatrical manager is
difficult, but, if that is the case, I have not found it so by
experience, and am bound to affirm the contrary.
I left Corfu in the evening, and having a good breeze in my favour, I
reached Otranto by day-break the following morning, without the oarsmen
having had to row a stroke. The distance from Corfu to Otranto is only
about fifteen leagues.
I had no idea of landing, owing to the quarantine which is always
enforced for any ship or boat coming to Italy from the east. I only went
to the parlour of the lazaretto, where, placed behind a grating, you can
speak to any person who calls, and who must stand behind another grating
placed opposite, at a distance of six feet.
As soon as I announced that I had come for the purpose of engaging a
troupe of actors to perform in Corfu, the managers of the two companies
then in Otranto came to the parlour to speak to me. I told them at once
that I wished to see all the performers, one company at a time.
The two rival managers gave me then a very comic scene, each manager
wanting the other to bring his troupe first. The harbour-master told me
that the only way to settle the matter was to say myself which of the
two companies I would see first: one was from Naples, the other from
Sicily. Not knowing either I gave the preference to the first. Don
Fastidio, the manager, was very vexed, while Battipaglia, the director
of the second, was delighted because he hoped that, after seeing the
Neapolitan troupe, I would engage his own.
An hour afterwards, Fastidio returned with all his performers, and my
surprise may be imagined when amongst them I recognized Petronio and his
sister Marina, who, the moment she saw me, screamed for joy, jumped over
the grating, and threw herself in my arms. A terrible hubbub followed,
and high words passed between Fastidio and the harbour-master. Marina
being in the service of Fastidio, the captain compelled him to confine
her to the lazaretto, where she would have to perform quarantine at his
expense. The poor girl cried bitterly, but I could not remedy her
imprudence.
I put a stop to the quarrel by telling Fastidio to shew me all his
people, one after the other. Petronio belonged to his company, and
performed the lovers. He told me that he had a letter for me from
Therese. I was also glad to see a Venetian of my acquaintance who played
the pantaloon in the pantomime, three tolerably pretty actresses, a
pulcinella, and a scaramouch. Altogether, the troupe was a decent one.
I told Fastidio to name the lowest salary he wanted for all his company,
assuring him that I would give the preference to his rival, if he should
ask me too much.
"Sir," he answered, "we are twenty, and shall require six rooms with ten
beds, one sitting-room for all of us, and thirty Neapolitan ducats a
day, all travelling expenses paid. Here is my stock of plays, and we
will perform those that you may choose."
Thinking of poor Marina who would have to remain in the lazaretto before
she could reappear on the stage at Otranto, I told Fastidio to get the
contract ready, as I wanted to go away immediately.
I had scarcely pronounced these words than war broke out again between
the manager-elect and his unfortunate competitor. Battipaglia, in his
rage, called Marina a harlot, and said that she had arranged beforehand
with Fastidio to violate the rules of the lazaretto in order to compel
me to choose their troupe. Petronio, taking his sister's part, joined
Fastidio, and the unlucky Battipaglia was dragged outside and treated to
a generous dose of blows and fisticuffs, which was not exactly the thing
to console him for a lost engagement.
Soon afterwards, Petronio brought me Therese's letter. She was ruining
the duke, getting rich accordingly, and waiting for me in Naples.
Everything being ready towards evening, I left Otranto with twenty
actors, and six large trunks containing their complete wardrobes. A
light breeze which was blowing from the south might have carried us to
Corfu in ten hours, but when we had sailed about one hour my
cayabouchiri informed me that he could see by the moonlight a ship which
might prove to be a corsair, and get hold of us. I was unwilling to risk
anything, so I ordered them to lower the sails and return to Otranto. At
day-break we sailed again with a good westerly wind, which would also
have taken us to Corfu; but after we had gone two or three hours, the
captain pointed out to me a brigantine, evidently a pirate, for she was
shaping her course so as to get to windward of us. I told him to change
the course, and to go by starboard, to see if the brigantine would
follow us, but she immediately imitated our manoeuvre. I could not go
back to Otranto, and I had no wish to go to Africa, so I ordered the men
to shape our course, so as to land on the coast of Calabria, by hard
rowing and at the nearest point. The sailors, who were frightened to
death, communicated their fears to my comedians, and soon I heard
nothing but weeping and sobbing. Every one of them was calling earnestly
upon some saint, but not one single prayer to God did I hear. The
bewailings of scaramouch, the dull and spiritless despair of Fastidio,
offered a picture which would have made me laugh heartily if the danger
had been imaginary and not real. Marina alone was cheerful and happy,
because she did not realize the danger we were running, and she laughed
at the terror of the crew and of her companions.
A strong breeze sprang up towards evening, so I ordered them to clap on
all sail and scud before the wind, even if it should get stronger. In
order to escape the pirate, I had made up my mind to cross the gulf. We
took the wind through the night, and in the morning we were eighty miles
from Corfu, which I determined to reach by rowing. We were in the middle
of the gulf, and the sailors were worn out with fatigue, but I had no
longer any fear. A gale began to blow from the north, and in less than
an hour it was blowing so hard that we were compelled to sail close to
the wind in a fearful manner. The felucca looked every moment as if it
must capsize. Every one looked terrified but kept complete silence, for
I had enjoined it on penalty of death. In spite of our dangerous
position, I could not help laughing when I heard the sobs of the
cowardly scaramouch. The helmsman was a man of great nerve, and the gale
being steady I felt we would reach Corfu without mishap. At day-break we
sighted the town, and at nine in the morning we landed at Mandrachia.
Everybody was surprised to see us arrive that way.
As soon as my company was landed, the young officers naturally came to
inspect the actresses, but they did not find them very desirable, with
the exception of Marina, who received uncomplainingly the news that I
could not renew my acquaintance with her. I felt certain that she would
not lack admirers. But my actresses, who had appeared ugly at the
landing, produced a very different effect on the stage, and particularly
the pantaloon's wife. M. Duodo, commander of a man-of-war, called upon
her, and, finding master pantaloon intolerant on the subject of his
better-half, gave him a few blows with his cane. Fastidio informed me
the next day that the pantaloon and his wife refused to perform any
more, but I made them alter their mind by giving them a benefit night.
The pantaloon's wife was much applauded, but she felt insulted because,
in the midst of the applause, the pit called out, "Bravo, Duodo!" She
presented herself to the general in his own box, in which I was
generally, and complained of the manner in which she was treated. The
general promised her, in my name, another benefit night for the close of
the carnival, and I was of course compelled to ratify his promise. The
fact is, that, to satisfy the greedy actors, I abandoned to my
comedians, one by one, the seventeen nights I had reserved for myself.
The benefit I gave to Marina was at the special request of Madame F----,
who had taken her into great favour since she had had the honour of
breakfasting alone with M. D---- R---- in a villa outside of the city.
My generosity cost me four hundred sequins, but the faro bank brought me
a thousand and more, although I never held the cards, my management of
the theatre taking up all my time. My manner with the actresses gained
me great kindness; it was clearly seen that I carried on no intrigue
with any of them, although I had every facility for doing so. Madame F--
-- complimented me, saying that she had not entertained such a good
opinion of my discretion. I was too busy through the carnival to think
of love, even of the passion which filled my heart. It was only at the
beginning of Lent, and after the departure of the comedians, that I
could give rein to my feelings.
One morning Madame F---- sent, a messenger who, summoned me to her
presence. It was eleven o'clock; I immediately went to her, and enquired
what I could do for her service.
"I wanted to see you," she said, "to return the two hundred sequins
which you lent me so nobly. Here they are; be good enough to give me
back my note of hand."
"Your note of hand, madam, is no longer in my possession. I have
deposited it in a sealed envelope with the notary who, according to this
receipt of his, can return it only to you."
"Why did you not keep it yourself?"
"Because I was afraid of losing it, or of having it stolen. And in the
event of my death I did not want such a document to fall into any other
hands but yours."
"A great proof of your extreme delicacy, certainly, but I think you
ought to have reserved the right of taking it out of the notary's
custody yourself."
"I did not forsee the possibility of calling for it myself."
"Yet it was a very likely thing. Then I can send word to the notary to
transmit it to me?"
"Certainly, madam; you alone can claim it."
She sent to the notary, who brought the note himself.
She tore the envelope open, and found only a piece of paper besmeared
with ink, quite illegible, except her own name, which had not been
touched.
"You have acted," she said, "most nobly; but you must agree with me that
I cannot be certain that this piece of paper is really my note of hand,
although I see my name on it."
"True, madam; and if you are not certain of it, I confess myself in the
wrong."
"I must be certain of it, and I am so; but you must grant that I could
not swear to it."
"Granted, madam."
During the following days it struck me that her manner towards me was
singularly altered. She never received me in her dishabille, and I had
to wait with great patience until her maid had entirely dressed her
before being admitted into her presence.
If I related any story, any adventure, she pretended not to understand,
and affected not to see the point of an anecdote or a jest; very often
she would purposely not look at me, and then I was sure to relate badly.
If M. D---- R---- laughed at something I had just said, she would ask
what he was laughing for, and when he had told her, she would say it was
insipid or dull. If one of her bracelets became unfastened, I offered to
fasten it again, but either she would not give me so much trouble, or I
did not understand the fastening, and the maid was called to do it. I
could not help shewing my vexation, but she did not seem to take the
slightest notice of it. If M. D---- R---- excited me to say something
amusing or witty, and I did not speak immediately, she would say that my
budget was empty, laughing, and adding that the wit of poor M. Casanova
was worn out. Full of rage, I would plead guilty by my silence to her
taunting accusation, but I was thoroughly miserable, for I did not see
any cause for that extraordinary change in her feelings, being conscious
that I had not given her any motive for it. I wanted to shew her openly
my indifference and contempt, but whenever an opportunity offered, my
courage would forsake me, and I would let it escape.
One evening M. D---- R---- asking me whether I had often been in love, I
answered,
"Three times, my lord."
"And always happily, of course."
"Always unhappily. The first time, perhaps, because, being an
ecclesiastic, I durst not speak openly of my love. The second, because a
cruel, unexpected event compelled me to leave the woman I loved at the
very moment in which my happiness would have been complete. The third
time, because the feeling of pity, with which I inspired the beloved
object, induced her to cure me of my passion, instead of crowning my
felicity."
"But what specific remedies did she use to effect your cure?"
"She has ceased to be kind."
"I understand she has treated you cruelly, and you call that pity, do
you? You are mistaken."
"Certainly," said Madame F----, "a woman may pity the man she loves, but
she would not think of ill-treating him to cure him of his passion. That
woman has never felt any love for you."
"I cannot, I will not believe it, madam."
"But are you cured?"
"Oh! thoroughly; for when I happen to think of her, I feel nothing but
indifference and coldness. But my recovery was long."
"Your convalescence lasted, I suppose, until you fell in love with
another."
"With another, madam? I thought I had just told you that the third time
I loved was the last."
A few days after that conversation, M. D---- R---- told me that Madame
F---- was not well, that he could not keep her company, and that I ought
to go to her, as he was sure she would be glad to see me. I obeyed, and
told Madame F---- what M. D---- R---- had said. She was lying on a sofa.
Without looking at me, she told me she was feverish, and would not ask
me to remain with her, because I would feel weary.
"I could not experience any weariness in your society, madam; at all
events, I can leave you only by your express command, and, in that case,
I must spend the next four hours in your ante-room, for M. D--- R----
has told me to wait for him here."
"If so, you may take a seat."
Her cold and distant manner repelled me, but I loved her, and I had
never seen her so beautiful, a slight fever animating her complexion
which was then truly dazzling in its beauty. I kept where I was, dumb
and as motionless as a statue, for a quarter of an hour. Then she rang
for her maid, and asked me to leave her alone for a moment. I was called
back soon after, and she said to me,
"What has become of your cheerfulness?"
"If it has disappeared, madam, it can only be by your will. Call it
back, and you will see it return in full force."
"What must I do to obtain that result?"
"Only be towards me as you were when I returned from Casopo. I have been
disagreeable to you for the last four months, and as I do not know why,
I feel deeply grieved."
"I am always the same: in what do you find me changed?"
"Good heavens! In everything, except in beauty. But I have taken my
decision."
"And what is it?"
"To suffer in silence, without allowing any circumstance to alter the
feelings with which you have inspired me; to wish ardently to convince
you of my perfect obedience to your commands; to be ever ready to give
you fresh proofs of my devotion."
"I thank you, but I cannot imagine what you can have to suffer in
silence on my account. I take an interest in you, and I always listen
with pleasure to your adventures. As a proof of it, I am extremely
curious to hear the history of your three loves."
I invented on the spot three purely imaginary stories, making a great
display of tender sentiments and of ardent love, but without alluding to
amorous enjoyment, particularly when she seemed to expect me to do so.
Sometimes delicacy, sometimes respect or duty, interfered to prevent the
crowning pleasure, and I took care to observe, at such moments of
disappointment, that a true lover does not require that all important
item to feel perfectly happy. I could easily see that her imagination
was travelling farther than my narrative, and that my reserve was
agreeable to her. I believed I knew her nature well enough to be certain
that I was taking the best road to induce her to follow me where I
wished to lead her. She expressed a sentiment which moved me deeply, but
I was careful not to shew it. We were talking of my third love, of the
woman who, out of pity, had undertaken to cure me, and she remarked,
"If she truly loved you, she may have wished not to cure you, but to
cure herself."
On the day following this partial reconciliation, M. F----, her husband,
begged my commanding officer, D---- R-----, to let me go with him to
Butintro for an excursion of three days, his own adjutant being
seriously ill.
Butintro is seven miles from Corfu, almost opposite to that city; it is
the nearest point to the island from the mainland. It is not a fortress,
but only a small village of Epirus, or Albania, as it is now called, and
belonging to the Venetians. Acting on the political axiom that
"neglected right is lost right," the Republic sends every year four
galleys to Butintro with a gang of galley slaves to fell trees, cut
them, and load them on the galleys, while the military keep a sharp
look-out to prevent them from escaping to Turkey and becoming
Mussulmans. One of the four galleys was commanded by M. F---- who,
wanting an adjutant for the occasion, chose me.
I went with him, and on the fourth day we came back to Corfu with a
large provision of wood. I found M. D---- R---- alone on the terrace of
his palace. It was Good Friday. He seemed thoughtful, and, after a
silence of a few minutes, he spoke the following words, which I can
never forget:
"M. F-----, whose adjutant died yesterday, has just been entreating me
to give you to him until he can find another officer. I have told him
that I had no right to dispose of your person, and that he, ought to
apply to you, assuring him that, if you asked me leave to go with him, I
would not raise any objection, although I require two adjutants. Has he
not mentioned the matter to you?"
"No, monsignor, he has only tendered me his thanks for having
accompanied him to Butintro, nothing else."
"He is sure to speak to you about it. What do you intend to say?"
"Simply that I will never leave the service of your excellency without
your express command to do so."
"I never will give you such an order."
As M. D---- R---- was saying the last word, M. and Madame F---- came in.
Knowing that the conversation would most likely turn upon the subject
which had just been broached, I hurried out of the room. In less than a
quarter of an hour I was sent for, and M. F---- said to me,
confidentially,
"Well, M. Casanova, would you not be willing to live with me as my
adjutant?"
"Does his excellency dismiss me from his service?"
"Not at all," observed M. D---- R----, "but I leave you the choice."
"My lord, I could not be guilty of ingratitude."
And I remained there standing, uneasy, keeping my eyes on the ground,
not even striving to conceal my mortification, which was, after all,
very natural in such a position. I dreaded looking at Madame F----, for
I knew that she could easily guess all my feelings. An instant after,
her foolish husband coldly remarked that I should certainly have a more
fatiguing service with him than with M. D---- R----, and that, of
course, it was more honourable to serve the general governor of the
galeazze than a simple sopra-committo. I was on the point of answering,
when Madame F---- said, in a graceful and easy manner, "M. Casanova is
right," and she changed the subject. I left the room, revolving in my
mind all that had just taken place.
My conclusion was that M. F---- had asked M. D---- R---- to let me go
with him at the suggestion of his wife, or, at least with her consent,
and it was highly flattering to my love and to my vanity. But I was
bound in honour not to accept the post, unless I had a perfect assurance
that it would not be disagreeable to my present patron. "I will accept,"
I said to myself, "if M. D---- R---- tells me positively that I shall
please him by doing so. It is for M. F to make him say it."
On the same night I had the honour of offering my arm to Madame F---
during the procession which takes place in commemoration of the death of
our Lord and Saviour, which was then attended on foot by all the
nobility. I expected she would mention the matter, but she did not. My
love was in despair, and through the night I could not close my eyes. I
feared she had been offended by my refusal, and was overwhelmed with
grief. I passed the whole of the next day without breaking my fast, and
did not utter a single word during the evening reception. I felt very
unwell, and I had an attack of fever which kept me in bed on Easter
Sunday. I was very weak on the Monday, and intended to remain in my
room, when a messenger from Madame F---- came to inform me that she
wished to see me. I told the messenger not to say that he had found me
in bed, and dressing myself rapidly I hurried to her house. I entered
her room, pale, looking very ill: yet she did not enquire after my
health, and kept silent a minute or two, as if she had been trying to
recollect what she had to say to me.
"Ah! yes, you are aware that our adjutant is dead, and that we want to
replace him. My husband, who has a great esteem for you, and feels that
M. D---- R---- leaves you perfectly free to make your choice, has taken
the singular fancy that you will come, if I ask you myself to do us that
pleasure. Is he mistaken? If you would come to us, you would have that room." |
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