2015년 2월 1일 일요일

The Memoires of Casanova 24

The Memoires of Casanova 24

I declared myself quite willing, for it was necessary to brazen it out,
after having ventured as far as I had done. He wrote the question, and
gave it to me; I read it, I could not understand either the subject or
the meaning of the words, but it did not matter, I had to give an
answer. If the question was so obscure that I could not make out the
sense of it, it was natural that I should not understand the answer. I
therefore answered, in ordinary figures, four lines of which he alone
could be the interpreter, not caring much, at least in appearance, how
they would be understood. M. Dandolo read them twice over, seemed
astonished, said that it was all very plain to him; it was Divine, it
was unique, it was a gift from Heaven, the numbers being only the
vehicle, but the answer emanating evidently from an immortal spirit.

M. Dandolo was so well pleased that his two friends very naturally
wanted also to make an experiment. They asked questions on all sorts of
subjects, and my answers, perfectly unintelligible to myself, were all
held as Divine by them. I congratulated them on their success, and
congratulated myself in their presence upon being the possessor of a
thing to which I had until then attached no importance whatever, but
which I promised to cultivate carefully, knowing that I could thus be of
some service to their excellencies.

They all asked me how long I would require to teach them the rules of my
sublime calculus. "Not very long," I answered, "and I will teach you as
you wish, although the hermit assured me that I would die suddenly
within three days if I communicated my science to anyone, but I have no
faith whatever in that prediction." M. de Bragadin who believed in it
more than I did, told me in a serious tone that I was bound to have
faith in it, and from that day they never asked me again to teach them.
They very likely thought that, if they could attach me to them, it would
answer the purpose as well as if they possessed the science themselves.
Thus I became the hierophant of those three worthy and talented men,
who, in spite of their literary accomplishments, were not wise, since
they were infatuated with occult and fabulous sciences, and believed in
the existence of phenomena impossible in the moral as well as in the
physical order of things. They believed that through me they possessed
the philosopher's stone, the universal panacea, the intercourse with all
the elementary, heavenly, and infernal spirits; they had no doubt
whatever that, thanks to my sublime science, they could find out the
secrets of every government in Europe.

After they had assured themselves of the reality of my cabalistic
science by questions respecting the past, they decided to turn it to
some use by consulting it upon the present and upon the future. I had no
difficulty in skewing myself a good guesser, because I always gave
answers with a double meaning, one of the meanings being carefully
arranged by me, so as not to be understood until after the event; in
that manner, my cabalistic science, like the oracle of Delphi, could
never be found in fault. I saw how easy it must have been for the
ancient heathen priests to impose upon ignorant, and therefore credulous
mankind. I saw how easy it will always be for impostors to find dupes,
and I realized, even better than the Roman orator, why two augurs could
never look at each other without laughing; it was because they had both
an equal interest in giving importance to the deceit they perpetrated,
and from which they derived such immense profits. But what I could not,
and probably never shall, understand, was the reason for which the
Fathers, who were not so simple or so ignorant as our Evangelists, did
not feel able to deny the divinity of oracles, and, in order to get out
of the difficulty, ascribed them to the devil. They never would have
entertained such a strange idea if they had been acquainted with
cabalistic science. My three worthy friends were like the holy Fathers;
they had intelligence and wit, but they were superstitious, and no
philosophers. But, although believing fully in my oracles, they were too
kind-hearted to think them the work of the devil, and it suited their
natural goodness better to believe my answers inspired by some heavenly
spirit. They were not only good Christians and faithful to the Church,
but even real devotees and full of scruples. They were not married, and,
after having renounced all commerce with women, they had become the
enemies of the female sex; perhaps a strong proof of the weakness of
their minds. They imagined that chastity was the condition 'sine qua
non' exacted by the spirits from those who wished to have intimate
communication or intercourse with them: they fancied that spirits
excluded women, and 'vice versa'.

With all these oddities, the three friends were truly intelligent and
even witty, and, at the beginning of my acquaintance with them, I could
not reconcile these antagonistic points. But a prejudiced mind cannot
reason well, and the faculty of reasoning is the most important of all.
I often laughed when I heard them talk on religious matters; they would
ridicule those whose intellectual faculties were so limited that they
could not understand the mysteries of religion. The incarnation of the
Word, they would say, was a trifle for God, and therefore easy to
understand, and the resurrection was so comprehensible that it did not
appear to them wonderful, because, as God cannot die, Jesus Christ was
naturally certain to rise again. As for the Eucharist,
transubstantiation, the real presence, it was all no mystery to them,
but palpable evidence, and yet they were not Jesuits. They were in the
habit of going to confession every week, without feeling the slightest
trouble about their confessors, whose ignorance they kindly regretted.
They thought themselves bound to confess only what was a sin in their
own opinion, and in that, at least, they reasoned with good sense.

With those three extraordinary characters, worthy of esteem and respect
for their moral qualities, their honesty, their reputation, and their
age, as well as for their noble birth, I spent my days in a very
pleasant manner: although, in their thirst for knowledge, they often
kept me hard at work for ten hours running, all four of us being locked
up together in a room, and unapproachable to everybody, even to friends
or relatives.

I completed the conquest of their friendship by relating to them the
whole of my life, only with some proper reserve, so as not to lead them
into any capital sins. I confess candidly that I deceived them, as the
Papa Deldimopulo used to deceive the Greeks who applied to him for the
oracles of the Virgin. I certainly did not act towards them with a true
sense of honesty, but if the reader to whom I confess myself is
acquainted with the world and with the spirit of society, I entreat him
to think before judging me, and perhaps I may meet with some indulgence
at his hands.

I might be told that if I had wished to follow the rules of pure
morality I ought either to have declined intimate intercourse with them
or to have undeceived them. I cannot deny these premises, but I will
answer that I was only twenty years of age, I was intelligent, talented,
and had just been a poor fiddler. I should have lost my time in trying
to cure them of their weakness; I should not have succeeded, for they
would have laughed in my face, deplored my ignorance, and the result of
it all would have been my dismissal. Besides, I had no mission, no
right, to constitute myself an apostle, and if I had heroically resolved
on leaving them as soon as I knew them to be foolish visionaries, I
should have shewn myself a misanthrope, the enemy of those worthy men
for whom I could procure innocent pleasures, and my own enemy at the
same time; because, as a young man, I liked to live well, to enjoy all
the pleasures natural to youth and to a good constitution.

By acting in that manner I should have failed in common politeness, I
should perhaps have caused or allowed M. de Bragadin's death, and I
should have exposed those three honest men to becoming the victims of
the first bold cheat who, ministering to their monomania, might have won
their favour, and would have ruined them by inducing them to undertake
the chemical operations of the Great Work. There is also another
consideration, dear reader, and as I love you I will tell you what it
is. An invincible self-love would have prevented me from declaring
myself unworthy of their friendship either by my ignorance or by my
pride; and I should have been guilty of great rudeness if I had ceased
to visit them.

I took, at least it seems to me so, the best, the most natural, and the
noblest decision, if we consider the disposition of their mind, when I
decided upon the plan of conduct which insured me the necessaries of
life and of those necessaries who could be a better judge than your very
humble servant?

Through the friendship of those three men, I was certain of obtaining
consideration and influence in my own country. Besides, I found it very
flattering to my vanity to become the subject of the speculative
chattering of empty fools who, having nothing else to do, are always
trying to find out the cause of every moral phenomenon they meet with,
which their narrow intellect cannot understand.

People racked their brain in Venice to find out how my intimacy with
three men of that high character could possibly exist; they were wrapped
up in heavenly aspirations, I was a world's devotee; they were very
strict in their morals, I was thirsty of all pleasures! At the beginning
of summer, M. de Bragadin was once, more able to take his seat in the
senate, and, the day before he went out for the first time, he spoke to
me thus:

"Whoever you may be, I am indebted to you for my life. Your first
protectors wanted to make you a priest, a doctor, an advocate, a
soldier, and ended by making a fiddler of you; those persons did not
know you. God had evidently instructed your guardian angel to bring you
to me. I know you and appreciate you. If you will be my son, you have
only to acknowledge me for your father, and, for the future, until my
death, I will treat you as my own child. Your apartment is ready, you
may send your clothes: you shall have a servant, a gondola at your
orders, my own table, and ten sequins a month. It is the sum I used to
receive from my father when I was your age. You need not think of the
future; think only of enjoying yourself, and take me as your adviser in
everything that may happen to you, in everything you may wish to
undertake, and you may be certain of always finding me your friend."

I threw myself at his feet to assure him of my gratitude, and embraced
him calling him my father. He folded me in his arms, called me his dear
son; I promised to love and to obey him; his two friends, who lived in
the same palace, embraced me affectionately, and we swore eternal
fraternity.

Such is the history of my metamorphosis, and of the lucky stroke which,
taking me from the vile profession of a fiddler, raised me to the rank
of a grandee.





CHAPTER XVIII


I lead a dissolute life--Zawoiski--Rinaldi--L'Abbadie--the young
countess--the Capuchin friar Z. Steffani--Ancilla--La Ramor--I take a
gondola at St. Job to go to Mestra.

Fortune, which had taken pleasure in giving me a specimen of its
despotic caprice, and had insured my happiness through means which sages
would disavow, had not the power to make me adopt a system of moderation
and prudence which alone could establish my future welfare on a firm
basis.

My ardent nature, my irresistible love of pleasure, my unconquerable
independence, would not allow me to submit to the reserve which my new
position in life demanded from me. I began to lead a life of complete
freedom, caring for nothing but what ministered to my tastes, and I
thought that, as long as I respected the laws, I could trample all
prejudices under my feet. I fancied that I could live free and
independent in a country ruled entirely by an aristocratic government,
but this was not the case, and would not have been so even if fortune
had raised me to a seat in that same government, for the Republic of
Venice, considering that its primary duty is to preserve its own
integrity, finds itself the slave of its own policy, and is bound to
sacrifice everything to self-preservation, before which the laws
themselves cease to be inviolable.

But let us abandon the discussion of a principle now too trite, for
humankind, at least in Europe, is satisfied that unlimited liberty is
nowhere consistent with a properly-regulated state of society. I have
touched lightly on the matter, only to give to my readers some idea of
my conduct in my own country, where I began to tread a path which was to
lead me to a state prison as inscrutable as it was unconstitutional.

With enough money, endowed by nature with a pleasing and commanding
physical appearance, a confirmed gambler, a true spendthrift, a great
talker, very far from modest, intrepid, always running after pretty
women, supplanting my rivals, and acknowledging no good company but that
which ministered to my enjoyment, I was certain to be disliked; but,
ever ready to expose myself to any danger, and to take the
responsibility of all my actions, I thought I had a right to do anything
I pleased, for I always broke down abruptly every obstacle I found in my
way.

Such conduct could not but be disagreeable to the three worthy men whose
oracle I had become, but they did not like to complain. The excellent M.
de Bragadin would only tell me that I was giving him a repetition of the
foolish life he had himself led at my age, but that I must prepare to
pay the penalty of my follies, and to feel the punishment when I should
reach his time of life. Without wanting in the respect I owed him, I
would turn his terrible forebodings into jest, and continue my course of
extravagance. However, I must mention here the first proof he gave me of
his true wisdom.

At the house of Madame Avogadro, a woman full of wit in spite of her
sixty years, I had made the acquaintance of a young Polish nobleman
called Zawoiski. He was expecting money from Poland, but in the mean
time the Venetian ladies did not let him want for any, being all very
much in love with his handsome face and his Polish manners. We soon
became good friends, my purse was his, but, twenty years later, he
assisted me to a far greater extent in Munich. Zawoiski was honest, he
had only a small dose of intelligence, but it was enough for his
happiness. He died in Trieste five or six years ago, the ambassador of
the Elector of Treves. I will speak of him in another part of these
Memoirs.

This amiable young man, who was a favourite with everybody and was
thought a free-thinker because he frequented the society of Angelo
Querini and Lunardo Venier, presented me one day, as we were out
walking, to an unknown countess who took my fancy very strongly. We
called on her in the evening, and, after introducing me to her husband,
Count Rinaldi, she invited us to remain and have supper.

The count made a faro bank in the course of the evening, I punted with
his wife as a partner, and won some fifty ducats.

Very much pleased with my new acquaintance, I called alone on the
countess the next morning. The count, apologizing for his wife who was
not up yet, took me to her room. She received me with graceful ease,
and, her husband having left us alone, she had the art to let me hope
for every favour, yet without committing herself; when I took leave of
her, she invited me to supper for the evening. After supper I played,
still in partnership with her, won again, and went away very much in
love. I did not fail to pay her another visit the next morning, but when
I presented myself at the house I was told that she had gone out.

I called again in the evening, and, after she had excused herself for
not having been at home in the morning, the faro bank began, and I lost
all my money, still having the countess for my partner. After supper,
and when the other guests had retired, I remained with Zawoiski, Count
Rinaldi having offered to give us our revenge. As I had no more money, I
played upon trust, and the count threw down the cards after I had lost
five hundred sequins. I went away in great sorrow. I was bound in honour
to pay the next morning, and I did not possess a groat. Love increased
my despair, for I saw myself on the point of losing the esteem of a
woman by whom I was smitten, and the anxiety I felt did not escape M. de
Bragadin when we met in the morning. He kindly encouraged me to confess
my troubles to him. I was conscious that it was my only chance, and
candidly related the whole affair, and I ended by saying that I should
not survive my disgrace. He consoled me by promising that my debt would
be cancelled in the course of the day, if I would swear never to play
again upon trust. I took an oath to that effect, and kissing his hand, I
went out for a walk, relieved from a great load. I had no doubt that my
excellent father would give me five hundred sequins during the day, and
I enjoyed my anticipation the honour I would derive, in the opinion of
the lovely countess, by my exactitude and prompt discharge of my debt. I
felt that it gave new strength to my hopes, and that feeling prevented
me from regretting my heavy loss, but grateful for the great generosity
of my benefactor I was fully determined on keeping my promise.

I dined with the three friends, and the matter was not even alluded to;
but, as we were rising from the table, a servant brought M. de Bragadin
a letter and a parcel.

He read the letter, asked me to follow him into his study, and the
moment we were alone, he said;

"Here is a parcel for you."

I opened it, and found some forty sequins. Seeing my surprise, M. de
Bragadin laughed merrily and handed me the letter, the contents of which
ran thus:

"M. de Casanova may be sure that our playing last night was only a joke:
he owes me nothing. My wife begs to send him half of the gold which he
has lost in cash. "COUNT RINALDI."

I looked at M. de Bragadin, perfectly amazed, and he burst out laughing.
I guessed the truth, thanked him, and embracing him tenderly I promised
to be wiser for the future. The mist I had before my eyes was dispelled,
I felt that my love was defunct, and I remained rather ashamed, when I
realized that I had been the dupe of the wife as well as of the husband.

"This evening," said my clever physician, "you can have a gay supper
with the charming countess."

"This evening, my dear, respected benefactor, I will have supper with
you. You have given me a masterly lesson."

"The next time you lose money upon trust, you had better not pay it."

"But I should be dishonoured."

"Never mind. The sooner you dishonour yourself, the more you will save,
for you will always be compelled to accept your dishonour whenever you
find yourself utterly unable to pay your losses. It is therefore more
prudent not to wait until then."

"It is much better still to avoid that fatal impossibility by never
playing otherwise than with money in hand."

"No doubt of it, for then you will save both your honour and your purse.
But, as you are fond of games of chance, I advise you never to punt.
Make the bank, and the advantage must be on your side."

"Yes, but only a slight advantage."

"As slight as you please, but it will be on your side, and when the game
is over you will find yourself a winner and not a loser. The punter is
excited, the banker is calm. The last says, 'I bet you do not guess,'
while the first says, 'I bet I can guess.' Which is the fool, and which
is the wise man? The question is easily answered. I adjure you to be
prudent, but if you should punt and win, recollect that you are only an
idiot if at the end you lose."

"Why an idiot? Fortune is very fickle."

"It must necessarily be so; it is a natural consequence. Leave off
playing, believe me, the very moment you see luck turning, even if you
should, at that moment, win but one groat."

I had read Plato, and I was astonished at finding a man who could reason
like Socrates.

The next day, Zawoiski called on me very early to tell me that I had
been expected to supper, and that Count Rinaldi had praised my
promptness in paying my debts of honour. I did not think it necessary to
undeceive him, but I did not go again to Count Rinaldi's, whom I saw
sixteen years afterwards in Milan. As to Zawoiski, I did not tell him
the story till I met him in Carlsbad, old and deaf, forty years later.

Three or four months later, M. de Bragadin taught me another of his
masterly lessons. I had become acquainted, through Zawoiski, with a
Frenchman called L'Abbadie, who was then soliciting from the Venetian
Government the appointment of inspector of the armies of the Republic.
The senate appointed, and I presented him to my protector, who promised
him his vote; but the circumstance I am going to relate prevented him
from fulfilling his promise.

I was in need of one hundred sequins to discharge a few debts, and I
begged M. de Bragadin to give them to me.

"Why, my dear son, do you not ask M. de l'Abbadie to render you that
service?"

"I should not dare to do so, dear father."

"Try him; I am certain that he will be glad to lend you that sum."

"I doubt it, but I will try."

I called upon L'Abbadie on the following day, and after a short exchange
of compliments I told him the service I expected from his friendship. He
excused himself in a very polite manner, drowning his refusal in that
sea of commonplaces which people are sure to repeat when they cannot or
will not oblige a friend. Zawoiski came in as he was still apologizing,
and I left them together. I hurried at once to M. de Bragadin, and told
him my want of success. He merely remarked that the Frenchman was
deficient in intelligence.

It just happened that it was the very day on which the appointment of
the inspectorship was to be brought before the senate. I went out to
attend to my business (I ought to say to my pleasure), and as I did not
return home till after midnight I went to bed without seeing my father.
In the morning I said in his presence that I intended to call upon
L'Abbadie to congratulate him upon his appointment.

"You may spare yourself that trouble; the senate has rejected his
nomination."

"How so? Three days ago L'Abbadie felt sure of his success."

"He was right then, for he would have been appointed if I had not made
up my mind to speak against him. I have proved to the senate that a
right policy forbade the government to trust such an important post to a
foreigner."

"I am much surprised, for your excellency was not of that opinion the
day before yesterday."

"Very true, but then I did not know M. de l'Abbadie. I found out only
yesterday that the man was not sufficiently intelligent to fill the
position he was soliciting. Is he likely to possess a sane judgment when
he refuses to lend you one hundred sequins? That refusal has cost him an
important appointment and an income of three thousand crowns, which
would now be his."

When I was taking my walk on the same day I met Zawoiski with L'Abbadie,
and did not try to avoid them. L'Abbadie was furious, and he had some
reason to be so.

"If you had told me," he said angrily, "that the one hundred sequins
were intended as a gag to stop M. de Bragadin's mouth, I would have
contrived to procure them for you."

"If you had had an inspector's brains you would have easily guessed it."

The Frenchman's resentment proved very useful to me, because he related
the circumstance to everybody. The result was that from that time those
who wanted the patronage of the senator applied to me. Comment is
needless; this sort of thing has long been in existence, and will long
remain so, because very often, to obtain the highest of favours, all
that is necessary is to obtain the good-will of a minister's favourite
or even of his valet. My debts were soon paid.

It was about that time that my brother Jean came to Venice with
Guarienti, a converted Jew, a great judge of paintings, who was
travelling at the expense of His Majesty the King of Poland, and Elector
of Saxony. It was the converted Jew who had purchased for His Majesty
the gallery of the Duke of Modena for one hundred thousand sequins.
Guarienti and my brother left Venice for Rome, where Jean remained in
the studio of the celebrated painter Raphael Mengs, whom we shall meet
again hereafter.

Now, as a faithful historian, I must give my readers the story of a
certain adventure in which were involved the honour and happiness of one
of the most charming women in Italy, who would have been unhappy if I
had not been a thoughtless fellow.

In the early part of October, 1746, the theatres being opened, I was
walking about with my mask on when I perceived a woman, whose head was
well enveloped in the hood of her mantle, getting out of the Ferrara
barge which had just arrived. Seeing her alone, and observing her
uncertain walk, I felt myself drawn towards her as if an unseen hand had
guided me.

I come up to her, and offer my services if I can be of any use to her.
She answers timidly that she only wants to make some enquiries.

"We are not here in the right place for conversation," I say to her;
"but if you would be kind enough to come with me to a cafe, you would be
able to speak and to explain your wishes."

She hesitates, I insist, and she gives way. The tavern was close at
hand; we go in, and are alone in a private room. I take off my mask, and
out of politeness she must put down the hood of her mantle. A large
muslin head-dress conceals half of her face, but her eyes, her nose, and
her pretty mouth are enough to let me see on her features beauty,
nobleness, sorrow, and that candour which gives youth such an
undefinable charm. I need not say that, with such a good letter of
introduction, the unknown at once captivated my warmest interest. After
wiping away a few tears which are flowing, in spite of all her efforts,
she tells me that she belongs to a noble family, that she has run away
from her father's house, alone, trusting in God, to meet a Venetian
nobleman who had seduced her and then deceived her, thus sealing her
everlasting misery.

"You have then some hope of recalling him to the path of duty? I suppose
he has promised you marriage?"

"He has engaged his faith to me in writing. The only favour I claim from
your kindness is to take me to his house, to leave me there, and to keep
my secret."

"You may trust, madam, to the feelings of a man of honour. I am worthy
of your trust. Have entire confidence in me, for I already take a deep
interest in all your concerns. Tell me his name."

"Alas! sir, I give way to fate."

With these words, she takes out of her bosom a paper which she gives me;
I recognize the handwriting of Zanetto Steffani. It was a promise of
marriage by which he engaged his word of honour to marry within a week,
in Venice, the young countess A---- S----. When I have read the paper, I
return it to her, saying that I knew the writer quite well, that he was
connected with the chancellor's office, known as a great libertine, and
deeply in debt, but that he would be rich after his mother's death.

"For God's sake take me to his house."

"I will do anything you wish; but have entire confidence in me, and be
good enough to hear me. I advise you not to go to his house. He has
already done you great injury, and, even supposing that you should
happen to find him at home, he might be capable of receiving you badly;
if he should not be at home, it is most likely that his mother would not
exactly welcome you, if you should tell her who you are and what is your
errand. Trust to me, and be quite certain that God has sent me on your
way to assist you. I promise you that to-morrow at the latest you shall
know whether Steffani is in Venice, what he intends to do with you, and
what we may compel him to do. Until then my advice is not to let him
know your arrival in Venice."

"Good God! where shall I go to-night?"

"To a respectable house, of course."

"I will go to yours, if you are married."

"I am a bachelor."

I knew an honest widow who resided in a lane, and who had two furnished
rooms. I persuade the young countess to follow me, and we take a
gondola. As we are gliding along, she tells me that, one month before,
Steffani had stopped in her neighbourhood for necessary repairs to his
travelling-carriage, and that, on the same day he had made her
acquaintance at a house where she had gone with her mother for the
purpose of offering their congratulations to a newly-married lady.

"I was unfortunate enough," she continued, "to inspire him with love,
and he postponed his departure. He remained one month in C----, never
going out but in the evening, and spending every night under my windows
conversing with me. He swore a thousand times that he adored me, that
his intentions were honourable. I entreated him to present himself to my
parents to ask me in marriage, but he always excused himself by alleging
some reason, good or bad, assuring me that he could not be happy unless
I shewed him entire confidence. He would beg of me to make up my mind to
run away with him, unknown to everybody, promising that my honour should
not suffer from such a step, because, three days after my departure,
everybody should receive notice of my being his wife, and he assured me
that he would bring me back on a visit to my native place shortly after
our marriage. Alas, sir! what shall I say now? Love blinded me; I fell
into the abyss; I believed him; I agreed to everything. He gave me the
paper which you have read, and the following night I allowed him to come
into my room through the window under which he was in the habit of
conversing with me.

"I consented to be guilty of a crime which I believed would be atoned
for within three days, and he left me, promising that the next night he
would be again under my window, ready to receive me in his arms. Could I
possibly entertain any doubt after the fearful crime I had committed for
him? I prepared a small parcel, and waited for his coming, but in vain.
Oh! what a cruel long night it was! In the morning I heard that the
monster had gone away with his servant one hour after sealing my shame.
You may imagine my despair! I adopted the only plan that despair could
suggest, and that, of course, was not the right one. One hour before
midnight I left my father's roof, alone, thus completing my dishonour,
but resolved on death, if the man who has cruelly robbed me of my most
precious treasure, and whom a natural instinct told me I could find
here, does not restore me the honour which he alone can give me back. I
walked all night and nearly the whole day, without taking any food,
until I got into the barge, which brought me here in twenty-four hours.
I travelled in the boat with five men and two women, but no one saw my
face or heard my voice, I kept constantly sitting down in a corner,
holding my head down, half asleep, and with this prayer-book in my
hands. I was left alone, no one spoke to me, and I thanked God for it.
When I landed on the wharf, you did not give me time to think how I
could find out the dwelling of my perfidious seducer, but you may
imagine the impression produced upon me by the sudden apparition of a
masked man who, abruptly, and as if placed there purposely by
Providence, offered me his services; it seemed to me that you had
guessed my distress, and, far from experiencing any repugnance, I felt
that I was acting rightly in trusting myself in your hands, in spite of
all prudence which, perhaps, ought to have made me turn a deaf ear to
your words, and refuse the invitation to enter alone with you the house
to which you took me.

"You know all now, sir; but I entreat you not to judge me too severely;
I have been virtuous all through my life; one month ago I had never
committed a fault which could call a blush upon my face, and the bitter
tears which I shed every day will, I hope, wash out my crime in the eyes
of God. I have been carefully brought up, but love and the want of
experience have thrown me into the abyss. I am in your hands, and I feel
certain that I shall have no cause to repent it."

I needed all she had just told' me to confirm me in the interest which I
had felt in her from the first moment. I told her unsparingly that
Steffani had seduced and abandoned her of malice aforethought, and that
she ought to think of him only to be revenged of his perfidy. My words
made her shudder, and she buried her beautiful face in her hands.

We reached the widow's house. I established her in a pretty, comfortable
room, and ordered some supper for her, desiring the good landlady to
skew her every attention and to let her want for nothing. I then took an
affectionate leave of her, promising to see her early in the morning.

On leaving this interesting but hapless girl, I proceeded to the house
of Steffani. I heard from one of his mother's gondoliers that he had
returned to Venice three days before, but that, twenty-four hours after
his return, he had gone away again without any servant, and nobody knew
his whereabouts, not even his mother. The same evening, happening to be
seated next to an abbe from Bologna at the theatre, I asked him several
questions respecting the family of my unfortunate protegee.

The abbe being intimately acquainted with them, I gathered from him all
the information I required, and, amongst other things, I heard that the
young countess had a brother, then an officer in the papal service.

Very early the next morning I called upon her. She was still asleep. The
widow told me that she had made a pretty good supper, but without
speaking a single word, and that she had locked herself up in her room
immediately afterwards. As soon as she had opened her door, I entered
her room, and, cutting short her apologies for having kept me waiting, I
informed her of all I had heard.

Her features bore the stamp of deep sorrow, but she looked calmer, and
her complexion was no longer pale. She thought it unlikely that Steffani
would have left for any other place but for C----. Admitting the
possibility that she might be right, I immediately offered to go to C---
- myself, and to return without loss of time to fetch her, in case
Steffani should be there. Without giving her time to answer I told her
all the particulars I had learned concerning her honourable family,
which caused her real satisfaction.

"I have no objection," she said, "to your going to C----, and I thank
you for the generosity of your offer, but I beg you will postpone your
journey. I still hope that Steffani will return, and then I can take a
decision."

"I think you are quite right," I said. "Will you allow me to have some
breakfast with you?"

"Do you suppose I could refuse you?"

"I should be very sorry to disturb you in any way. How did you use to
amuse yourself at home?"

"I am very fond of books and music; my harpsichord was my delight."

I left her after breakfast, and in the evening I came back with a basket
full of good books and music, and I sent her an excellent harpsichord.
My kindness confused her, but I surprised her much more when I took out
of my pocket three pairs of slippers. She blushed, and thanked me with
great feeling. She had walked a long distance, her shoes were evidently
worn out, her feet sore, and she appreciated the delicacy of my present.
As I had no improper design with regard to her, I enjoyed her gratitude,
and felt pleased at the idea she evidently entertained of my kind
attentions. I had no other purpose in view but to restore calm to her
mind, and to obliterate the bad opinion which the unworthy Steffani had
given her of men in general. I never thought of inspiring her with love
for me, and I had not the slightest idea that I could fall in love with
her. She was unhappy, and her unhappiness--a sacred thing in my eyes--
called all the more for my most honourable sympathy, because, without
knowing me, she had given me her entire confidence. Situated as she was,
I could not suppose her heart susceptible of harbouring a new affection,
and I would have despised myself if I had tried to seduce her by any
means in my power.

I remained with her only a quarter of an hour, being unwilling that my
presence should trouble her at such a moment, as she seemed to be at a
loss how to thank me and to express all her gratitude.

I was thus engaged in a rather delicate adventure, the end of which I
could not possibly foresee, but my warmth for my protegee did not cool
down, and having no difficulty in procuring the means to keep her I had
no wish to see the last scene of the romance. That singular meeting,
which gave me the useful opportunity of finding myself endowed with
generous dispositions, stronger even than my love for pleasure,
flattered my self-love more than I could express. I was then trying a
great experiment, and conscious that I wanted sadly to study myself, I
gave up all my energies to acquire the great science of the
'xxxxxxxxxxxx'.

On the third day, in the midst of expressions of gratitude which I could
not succeed in stopping she told me that she could not conceive why I
shewed her so much sympathy, because I ought to have formed but a poor
opinion of her in consequence of the readiness with which she had
followed me into the cafe. She smiled when I answered that I could not
understand how I had succeeded in giving her so great a confidence in my
virtue, when I appeared before her with a mask on my face, in a costume
which did not indicate a very virtuous character.

"It was easy for me, madam," I continued, "to guess that you were a
beauty in distress, when I observed your youth, the nobleness of your
countenance, and, more than all, your candour. The stamp of truth was so
well affixed to the first words you uttered that I could not have the
shadow of a doubt left in me as to your being the unhappy victim of the
most natural of all feelings, and as to your having abandoned your home
through a sentiment of honour. Your fault was that of a warm heart
seduced by love, over which reason could have no sway, and your flight--
the action of a soul crying for reparation or for revenge-fully
justifies you. Your cowardly seducer must pay with his life the penalty
due to his crime, and he ought never to receive, by marrying you, an
unjust reward, for he is not worthy of possessing you after degrading
himself by the vilest conduct."

"Everything you say is true. My brother, I hope, will avenge me."

"You are greatly mistaken if you imagine that Steffani will fight your
brother; Steffani is a coward who will never expose himself to an
honourable death."

As I was speaking, she put her hand in her pocket and drew forth, after
a few moments' consideration, a stiletto six inches long, which she
placed on the table.

"What is this?" I exclaimed.

"It is a weapon upon which I reckoned until now to use against myself in
case I should not succeed in obtaining reparation for the crime I have
committed. But you have opened my eyes. Take away, I entreat you, this
stiletto, which henceforth is useless to me. I trust in your friendship,
and I have an inward certainty that I shall be indebted to you for my
honour as well as for my life."

I was struck by the words she had just uttered, and I felt that those
words, as well as her looks, had found their way to my heart, besides
enlisting my generous sympathy. I took the stiletto, and left her with
so much agitation that I had to acknowledge the weakness of my heroism,
which I was very near turning into ridicule; yet I had the wonderful
strength to perform, at least by halves, the character of a Cato until
the seventh day.

I must explain how a certain suspicion of the young lady arose in my
mind. That doubt was heavy on my heart, for, if it had proved true, I
should have been a dupe, and the idea was humiliating. She had told me
that she was a musician; I had immediately sent her a harpsichord, and,
yet, although the instrument had been at her disposal for three days,
she had not opened it once, for the widow had told me so. It seemed to
me that the best way to thank me for my attentive kindness would have
been to give me a specimen of her musical talent. Had she deceived me?
If so, she would lose my esteem. But, unwilling to form a hasty
judgment, I kept on my guard, with a firm determination to make good use
of the first opportunity that might present itself to clear up my
doubts.

I called upon her the next day after dinner, which was not my usual
time, having resolved on creating the opportunity myself. I caught her
seated before a toilet-glass, while the widow dressed the most beautiful
auburn hair I had ever seen. I tendered my apologies for my sudden
appearance at an unusual hour; she excused herself for not having
completed her toilet, and the widow went on with her work. It was the
first time I had seen the whole of her face, her neck, and half of her
arms, which the graces themselves had moulded. I remained in silent
contemplation. I praised, quite by chance, the perfume of the pomatum,
and the widow took the opportunity of telling her that she had spent in
combs, powder, and pomatum the three livres she had received from her. I
recollected then that she had told me the first day that she had left C-
--- with ten paoli.

I blushed for very shame, for I ought to have thought of that.

As soon as the widow had dressed her hair, she left the room to prepare
some coffee for us. I took up a ring which had been laid by her on the
toilet-table, and I saw that it contained a portrait exactly like her; I
was amused at the singular fancy she had had of having her likeness
taken in a man's costume, with black hair. "You are mistaken," she said,
"it is a portrait of my brother. He is two years older than I, and is an
officer in the papal army."

I begged her permission to put the ring on her finger; she consented,
and when I tried, out of mere gallantry, to kiss her hand, she drew it
back, blushing. I feared she might be offended, and I assured her of my
respect.

"Ah, sir!" she answered, "in the situation in which I am placed, I must
think of defending myself against my own self much more than against
you."

The compliment struck me as so fine, and so complimentary to me, that I
thought it better not to take it up, but she could easily read in my
eyes that she would never find me ungrateful for whatever feelings she
might entertain in my favour. Yet I felt my love taking such proportions
that I did not know how to keep it a mystery any longer.

Soon after that, as she was again thanking me for the books--I had given
her, saying that I had guessed her taste exactly, because she did not
like novels, she added, "I owe you an apology for not having sung to you
yet, knowing that you are fond of music." These words made me breathe
freely; without waiting for any answer, she sat down before the
instrument and played several pieces with a facility, with a precision,
with an expression of which no words could convey any idea. I was in
ecstacy. I entreated her to sing; after some little ceremony, she took
one of the music books I had given her, and she sang at sight in a
manner which fairly ravished me. I begged that she would allow me to
kiss her hand, and she did not say yes, but when I took it and pressed
my lips on it, she did not oppose any resistance; I had the courage to
smother my ardent desires, and the kiss I imprinted on her lovely hand
was a mixture of tenderness, respect, and admiration.

I took leave of her, smitten, full of love, and almost determined on
declaring my passion. Reserve becomes silliness when we know that our
affection is returned by the woman we love, but as yet I was not quite
sure.

The disappearance of Steffani was the talk of Venice, but I did not
inform the charming countess of that circumstance. It was generally
supposed that his mother had refused to pay his debts, and that he had
run away to avoid his creditors. It was very possible. But, whether he
returned or not, I could not make up my mind to lose the precious
treasure I had in my hands. Yet I did not see in what manner, in what
quality, I could enjoy that treasure, and I found myself in a regular
maze. Sometimes I had an idea of consulting my kind father, but I would
soon abandon it with fear, for I had made a trial of his empiric
treatment in the Rinaldi affair, and still more in the case of
l'Abbadie. His remedies frightened me to that extent that I would rather
remain ill than be cured by their means.

One morning I was foolish enough to enquire from the widow whether the
lady had asked her who I was. What an egregious blunder! I saw it when
the good woman, instead of answering me, said,

"Does she not know who you are?"

"Answer me, and do not ask questions," I said, in order to hide my
confusion.

The worthy woman was right; through my stupidity she would now feel
curious; the tittle-tattle of the neighbourhood would of course take up
the affair and discuss it; and all through my thoughtlessness! It was an
unpardonable blunder. One ought never to be more careful than in
addressing questions to half-educated persons. During the fortnight that
she had passed under my protection, the countess had shewn me no
curiosity whatever to know anything about me, but it did not prove that
she was not curious on the subject. If I had been wise, I should have
told her the very first day who I was, but I made up for my mistake that
evening better than anybody else could have done it, and, after having
told her all about myself, I entreated her forgiveness for not having
done so sooner. Thanking me for my confidence, she confessed how curious
she had been to know me better, and she assured me that she would never
have been imprudent enough to ask any questions about me from her landlady. Women have a more delicate, a surer tact than men, and her last words were a home-thrust for me.

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