"In a way of regarding it, it may be said to be question, inasmuch as it
requires an answer to establish the comparison. The most pleasing answer
is that which shall be dissimilar in idea, and yet at the same time
maintain the most perfect harmony of parallel thought," I replied. "Now
permit your exceptional minds to wander in a forest of similitudes: 'The
Phoenix embroidered upon the side of the shoe: When the shoe advances
the Phoenix leaps forward.'"
"Oh, if that's all you want," said the one Herbert, who by an ill
destiny chanced to be present, "'The red-hot poker held before the Cat's
nose: When the poker advances the Cat leaps backwards.'"
"Oh, very good!" cried several of those around, "of course it naturally
would. Is that right, Mr. Kong?"
"If the high-souled company is satisfied, then it must be, for there is
no conclusive right or wrong--only an unending search for that which
is most gem-set and resourceful," replied this person, with an
ever-deepening conviction of no enthusiasm towards the sit-round game.
"But," he added, resolved to raise for a moment the canopy of a mind
swan-like in its crystal many-sidedness, and then leave them to their
own ineptitude, "for five centuries nothing has been judged equal to
the solution offered by Li Tang. At the time he was presented with
a three-sided banner of silk with the names of his eleven immediate
ancestors embroidered upon it in seven colours, and his own name is
still handed down in imperishable memory."
"Oh, do tell us what it was," cried many. "It must have been clever."
"'The Dragon painted upon the face of the fan: When the fan is shaken
the Dragon flies upwards,'" replied this person.
It cannot be denied that this was received with an attitude of
respectful melancholy strikingly complimentary to the wisdom of the
gifted Li Tang. But whether it may be that the time was too short to
assimilate the more subtle delicacies of the saying, or whether the
barbarian mind is inherently devoid of true balance, this person was
panged most internally to hear one say to another as he went out, "Do
you know, I really think that Herbert's was much the better answer of
the two--more realistic, and what you might expect at the pantomime." *
A like inability to grasp with a clear and uninvolved vision, permeates
not only the triviality of a sit-round game but even the most important
transactions of existence.
Shortly after his arrival in the Island, this person was initiated
by the widely-esteemed Quang-Tsun into the private life of one whose
occupation was that of a Law-giver, where he frequently drank tea
on terms of mutual cordiality. Upon such an occasion he was one day
present, conversing with the lesser ones of the household--the head
thereof being absent, setting forth the Law in the Temple--when one of
the maidens cried out with amiable vivacity, "Why, Mr. Kong, you say
such consistently graceful things of the ladies you have met over here,
that we shall expect you to take back an English wife with you. But
perhaps you are already married in China?"
"The conclusion is undeviating in its accuracy," replied this person,
unable to evade the allusion. "To Ning, Hia-Fa and T'ain Yen, as the
matter stands."
"Ning Hia-Fa An T'ain Yen!" exclaimed the wife of the Law-giver
pleasantly. "What an important name. Can you pardon our curiosity and
tell us what she is like?"
"Ning, Hia-Fa AND T'ain Yen," repeated this person, not submitting to
be deprived of the consequence of two wives without due protest. "Three
names, three wives. Three very widely separated likes."
At this in no way boastfully uttered statement the agreeably outlined
surface of the faces around variated suddenly, the effect being one
which I have frequently observed in the midst of my politest expressions
of felicity. For a moment, indeed, I could not disguise from myself that
the one who had made the inquiry stretched forth her lotus-like hand
towards the secret spring by which it is customary to summon the
attending slaves from the underneath parts, but restraining herself
with the manner of one who would desire to make less of a thing that it
otherwise might seem, she turned to me again.
"How nice!" she murmured. "What a pity you did not bring them all with
you, Mr. Kong. They would have been a great acquisition."
"Yet it must be well weighed," I replied, not to be out-complimented
touching one another, "that here they would have met so many fine and
superior gentlemen that they might have become dissatisfied with my less
than average prepossessions."
"I wonder if they did not think of that in your case, and refuse to let
you come," said one of the maidens.
"The various persons must not be regarded as being on their all fours,"
I replied, anxious that there should be no misunderstanding on this
point. "They, of course, reside within one inner chamber, but there
would be no duplicity in this one adding indefinitely to the number."
"Of course not; how silly of me!" exclaimed the maiden. "What splendid
musical evenings you can have. But tell me, Mr. Kong (ought it not to be
Messrs. Kong, mamma?), if a girl married you here would she be legally
married to you in China?"
"Oh yes," replied this person positively.
"But could you not, by your own laws, have the marriage set aside
whenever you wished?"
"Assuredly," I admitted. "It is so appointed."
"Then how could she be legally married?" she persisted, with really
unbecoming suspicion.
"Legally married, legally unmarried," replied this person, quite
distressed within himself at not being able to understand the difficulty
besetting her. "All perfectly legal and honourably observed."
"I think, Gwendoline--" said the one of authority, and although the
matter was no further expressed, by an instinct which he was powerless
to avert, this person at once found himself rising with ceremonious
partings.
Not desiring that the obstacle should remain so inadequately swept
away, I have turned my presumptuous footsteps in the direction of the
Law-giver's house on several later occasions, but each time the word of
the slave guarding the door has been that they of the household,
down even to those of the most insignificant degree of kinship, have
withdrawn to a distant and secluded spot.
With renewed assurances that the enterprise is being gracefully
conducted, however ill-digested and misleading these immature
compositions may appear.
KONG HO.
LETTER IV
Concerning a desire to expatiate upon subjects of
philosophical importance and its no accomplishment. Three
examples of the mental concavity sunk into by these
barbarians. An involved episode which had the outward
appearance of being otherwise than what it was.
VENERATED SIRE (whose genial liberality on all necessary occasions
is well remembered by this person in his sacrifices, with the titles
"Benevolent" and "Open-sleeved"),--
I had it in my head at one time to tell you somewhat of the Classics
most reverenced in this country, of the philosophical opinions which
prevail, and to enlighten you generally upon certain other subjects of
distinguished eminence. As the deities arranged, however, it chanced
that upon my way to a reputable quarter of the city where the actuality
of these matters can be learnt with the least evasion, my footsteps were
drawn aside by an incident which now permeates my truth-laden brush to
the exclusion of all else.
But in the first place, if it be permitted for a thoroughly
untrustworthy son to take so presumptuous a liberty with an unvaryingly
sagacious father, let this one entreat you to regard everything he
writes in a very wide-headed spirit of looking at the matter from all
round. My former letters will have readily convinced you that much that
takes place here, even among those who can afford long finger-nails,
would not be tolerated in Yuen-ping, and in order to avoid the suspicion
that I am suffering from a serious injury to the head, or have become
a prey to a conflicting demon, it will be necessary to continue an
even more highly-sustained tolerant alertness. This person himself has
frequently suffered the ill effects of rashly assuming that because he
is conducting the adventure in a prepossessing spirit his efforts will
be honourably received, as when he courteously inquired the ages of a
company of maidens into whose presence he was led, and complimented the
one whom he was desirous of especially gratifying by assuring her that
she had every appearance of being at least twice the nine-and-twenty
years to which she modestly laid claim.
Upon another occasion I entered a barber's stall, and finding it
oppressively hot within, I commanded the attendant to carry a reclining
stool into the street and there shave my lower limbs and anoint my head.
As he hesitated to obey--doubtless on account of the trivial labour
involved--I repeated my words in a tone of fuller authority, holding out
the inducement of a just payment when he complied, and assuring him that
he would certainly be dragged before the nearest mandarin and tortured
if he held his joints stiffly. At this he evidently understood his
danger, for obsequiously protesting that he was only a barber of very
mean attainments, and that his deformed utensils were quite inadequate
for the case, he very courteously directed me in inquire for a public
chariot bound for a quarter called Colney Hatch (the place of commerce,
it is reasonable to infer, of the higher class barbers), and, seating
myself in it, instruct the attendant to put me down at the large gates,
where they possessed every requisite appliance, and also would, if
desirable, shave my head also. Here the incident assumes a more doubtful
guise, for, notwithstanding the admitted politeness of the one who
spoke, each of those to whom I subsequently addressed myself on the
subject, presented to me a face quite devoid of encouragement. While
none actually pointed out the vehicle I sought, many passed on in a
state of inward contemplation without replying, and some--chiefly the
attendants of other chariots of a similar kind--replied in what I deemed
to be a spirit of elusive metaphor, as he who asserted that such a
conveyance must be sought for at a point known intimately as the Aldgate
Pump, whence it started daily at half-past the thirteenth gong-stroke;
and another, who maintained that I had no prospect of reaching the
desired spot until I secured the services of one of a class of female
attendants who wear flowing blue robes in order to indicate that they
are prepared to encounter and vanquish any emergency in life. To make no
elaborate pretence in the matter this person may definitely admit that
he never did reach the place in question, nor--in spite of a diligent
search in which he has encountered much obloquy--has he yet found any
barber sufficiently well equipped to undertake the detail.
Even more recently I suffered the unmerited rebuke of the superficial
through performing an act of deferential politeness. Learning that the
enlightened and magnanimous sovereign of this country was setting out on
a journey I stationed myself in the forefront of those who stood before
his palace, intending to watch such parts of the procession as might be
fitly witnessed by one of my condition. When these had passed, and the
chariot of the greatest approached, I respectfully turned my back to
the road with a propitiatory gesture, as of one who did not deem himself
worthy even to look upon a being of such majestic rank and acknowledged
excellence. This delicate action, by some incredible process of mental
obliquity, was held by those around to be a deliberate insult, if not
even a preconcerted signal, of open treachery, and had not a heaven-sent
breeze at that moment carried the hat of a very dignified bystander into
the upper branches of an opportune tree, and successfully turned aside
the attention of the assembly into a most immoderate exhibition of utter
loss of gravity, I should undoubtedly have been publicly tortured, if
not actually torn to pieces.
But the incident first alluded to was of an even more
elaborately-contrived density than these, and some of the details are
still unrolled before the keenest edge of this one's inner perception.
Nevertheless, all is now set down in unbroken exactness for your
impartial judgment.
At the time of this exploit I had only ventured out on a few occasions,
and then, save those recorded, to no considerable extent; for it had
already become obvious that the enterprises in which I persistently
became involved never contributed to my material prosperity, and the
disappointment of finding that even when I could remember nine words
of a sentence in their language none of the barbarians could understand
even so much as a tenth of my own, further cast down my enthusiasm.
On the day which has been the object of this person's narration from
the first, he set out to become more fully instructed in the subjects
already indicated, and proceeding in a direction of which he had no
actual knowledge, he soon found himself in a populous and degraded
quarter of the city. Presently, to his reasonable astonishment, he saw
before him at a point where two ill-constructed thoroughfares met, a
spacious and important building, many-storied in height, ornamented
with a profusion of gold and crystal, marble and precious stones,
and displaying from a tall pole the three-hued emblem of undeniable
authority. A never-ending stream of people passed in and out by the
numerous doors; the strains of expertly wielded instruments could be
distinctly heard inside, and the warm odour of a most prepossessing
spiced incense permeated the surroundings. "Assuredly," thought the
person who is now recording the incident, "this is one of the Temples
of barbarian worship"; and to set all further doubt at rest he saw in
letters of gilt splendour a variety of praiseworthy and appropriate
inscriptions, among which he read and understood, "Excellent," "Fine
Old," "Well Matured," "Spirits only of the choicest quality within,"
together with many other invocations from which he could not wrest the
hidden significance, as "Old Vatted," "Barclay's Entire," "An Ordinary
at One," and the like.
By this time an impressive gathering had drawn around, and from its
manner of behaving conveyed the suspicion that an entertainment or
manifestation of some kind was confidently awaited. To disperse so
outrageous a misconception this person was on the point of withdrawing
himself when he chanced to see, over the principal door of the Temple,
a solid gold figure of colossal magnitude, represented as crowned with
leaves and tendrils, and holding in his outstretched hands a gigantic,
and doubtless symbolic, bunch of grapes. "This," I said to myself, "is
evidently the tutelary deity of the place, so displayed to receive the
worship of the passer-by." With the discovery a thought of the most
irreproachable benevolence possessed me. "Why should not this person," I
reflected, "gain the unstinted approbation of those barbarians" (who by
this time completely encircled me in) "by doing obeisance towards their
deity, and by the same act delicately and inoffensively rebuke them for
their own too-frequent intolerable attitude towards the susceptibilities
of others? As an unprejudiced follower, in his own land, of the systems
of Confucius, Lao-tse, and Buddha, this person already recognises the
claims of seventeen thousand nine hundred and thirty-three deities of
various grades, so that the addition of one more to that number can be
a heresy of very trivial expiation." Inspired by these honourable
sentiments, therefore, I at once prostrated myself on the ground, and,
amid a silence of really illimitable expectation, I began to kow-tow
repeatedly with ceremonious precision.
At this display of charitable broadmindedness an approving shout went
up on all sides. Thus encouraged I proceeded to kow-tow with even more
unceasing assiduousness, and presently words of definite encouragement
mingled with the shout. "Do not flag in your amiable disinterestedness,
Kong Ho," I whispered in my ear, "and out of your well-sustained
endurance may perchance arise a cordial understanding, and ultimately
a remunerative alliance between two distinguished nations." Filled with
this patriotic hope I did not suffer my neck to stiffen, and doubtless I
would have continued the undertaking as long as the sympathetic persons
who hemmed me in signified their refined approval, when suddenly the cry
was raised, "Look out, here comes the coppers!"
This, O my venerable-headed father, I at once guessed to be the
announcement heralding the collecting-bowl which some over-zealous
bystander was preparing to pass round on my behalf, doubtless under the
impression--so obtuse in grasping the true relationship of events are
many of the barbarians--that I was a wandering monk, displaying my
reverence for the purpose of mendicancy. Not wishing to profit by this
offensive misapprehension, I was preparing to rise, when a hand was
unceremoniously laid upon my shoulder, and turning round I saw behind me
one of the official watch--a class of men so powerful that at a gesture
from their uplifted hands even the fiercest untamed horse will not
infrequently stand upon its hind legs in mute submission.
"Early morning salutations," I said pleasantly, though somewhat involved
in speech by my exertion (for these persons are ever to be treated
with discriminating courtesy). "Prosperity to your house, O energetic
street-watcher, and a thousand grandsons to worship their illustrious
ancestor."
"Thanks," he replied concisely. "I'm a single man. As yet. Now then,
will you make a way there? Can you stand?"
"Stand?" repeated this person, at once recognising one of the important
words of inner meaning concerning which he had been initiated by the
versatile Quang-Tsun. "Certainly this person will not hesitate to
establish his footing if the exaction is thought to be desirable.
Let us, therefore, bend our steps in the direction of a tea-house of
unquestionable propriety."
"You've bent your steps into quite enough tea-houses, as you call them,
for one day," replied the official with evasive meaning, at the same
time assisting me to rise (for it need not be denied that the restrained
position had made me for the moment incapable of a self-sustaining
effort). "Look what you've done."
At the direction of his glance I cast my eyes along the street, east and
west, and for the first time I became aware that what I had last seen as
a reasonable gathering had now taken the proportions of an innumerable
multitude which filled the entire space of the thoroughfare, while
others covered the roofs above and protruded themselves from every
available window. In our own land the interspersal of umbrellas, musical
instruments, and banners, with an occasional firework, would have given
a greater animation to the scene; but with this exception I have never
taken part in a more impressive and well-extended procession. Even
while I looked, the helmets of other official watchers appeared in the
distance, as immature junks upon the storm-tossed Whang-Hai, apparently
striving fruitlessly to reach us.
As I was by no means sure what attitude was expected of me, I smiled
with an all-embracing approval, and signified to the one at my side, by
way of passing the time pleasurably together, that the likelihood of his
nimble-witted friends reaching us with unruffled garments was remote in
the extreme.
"Don't you let that worry you, Li Hung Chang," he said, in a tone that
had the appearance of being outside itself around a deeper and more
bitter significance; "if we get out again with any garments at all it
won't be your fault. Why, you--well, YOU ought to have been put on the
Black List long ago, by rights."
This, exalted one, although I have not yet been able to learn the exact
dignity of it from any of the books of civil honours, is undoubtedly
a mark of signal attainment, conferred upon the few for distinguishing
themselves by some particular capacity; as our Double Dragon, for
instance. Anxious to learn something of the privileges of the rank from
one who evidently was not without influence in the bestowal, and not
unwilling to show him that I was by no means of low-caste descent, I
said to the official, "In his own country one of this person's ancestors
wore the Decoration of the Yellow Scabbard, which entitled him to be
carried in his chair up to the gate of the Forbidden Palace before
descending to touch the ground. Is this Order of the Black List of a
like purport?"
"You're right," he said, "it is. In this country it entitles you to be
carried right inside the door at Bow Street without ever touching the
ground. Look out! Now we shall not--"
At that moment what this person at first assumed to be a floral tribute,
until he saw that not only the entire plant, but the earthenware jar
also were attached, struck the official upon the helmet, whereupon,
drawing a concealed club, he ceased speaking.
How the entertainment was conducted to such a development this person is
totally inadequate to express; but in an incredibly short space of time
the scene became one of most entrancing variety. From every visible
point around the air became filled with commodities which--though
doubtless without set intention--fittingly represented the arts,
manufactures, and natural history of this resourceful country, all cast
in prolific abundance at the feet of the official and myself, although
the greater part inevitably struck our heads and bodies before reaching
them. Beyond our immediate circle, as it may be expressed, the crowd
never ceased to press forward with resistless activity, and among
it could be seen occasionally the official watchmen advancing
self-reliantly, though frequently without helmets, and, not less often,
the helmets advancing without the official watchmen. To add to the
acknowledged interest, every person present was proclaiming his views
freely on a diversity of subjects, and above all could be heard the
clear notes of the musical instruments by which the officials sought
to encourage one another in their extremity, and to deaden the cries of
those whom they outclubbed.
Despite this person's repeated protests that the distinction was too
excessive, he was plucked from hand to hand irresistibly among those
around, losing a portion of his ill-made attire at each step, so
agreeably anxious were all to detain him. Just when the exploit seemed
likely to have a disagreeable ending, however, he was thrust heavily
against a door which yielded, and at once barring it behind him, he
passed across the open space into which it led, along a passage between
two walls, and thence through an involved labyrinth and beneath the
waters of a canal into a wood of attractive seclusion. Here this person
remained, spending the time in a profitable meditation, until the light
withdrew and the great sky lantern had ascended. Then he cautiously
crept forth, and after some further trivial episodes which chiefly
concern the obstinate-headed slave guarding the outer door of a
tea-house, an unintelligent maiden in the employment of one vending
silk-embroidered raiment, the mercenary controller of a two-wheeled
chariot and the sympathetic and opportune arrival of a person seated
upon a funeral car, he succeeded in reaching the place of his abode.
With unalterable affection and a material request that an unstinted
adequacy of new garments may be sent by a sure and speedy hand.
KONG HO.
LETTER V
Concerning the neglect of ancestors and its discreditable
consequences. Two who state the matter definitely.
Concerning the otherside way of looking at things and the
self-contradictory bearing of the maiden Florence.
VENERATED SIRE,--A discovery of overwhelming malignity oppresses me. In
spite of much baffling ambiguity and the frequent evasion of conscious
guilt, there can be no longer any reasonable doubt that these barbarians
DO NOT WORSHIP THEIR ANCESTORS!
Hitherto the matter had rested in my mind as an uneasy breath of
suspicion, agitated from time to time by countless indications that
such a possibility might, indeed, exist in a condensed form, but too
inauspiciously profane to be contemplated in the altogether. Thus, when
in the company of the young this person has walked about the streets
of the city, he may at length have said, "Truly, out of your amiable
condescension, you have shown me a variety of entrancing scenes. Let
us now in turn visit the tombs of your ancestors, to the end that I may
transmit fitting gifts to their spirits and discharge a few propitious
fireworks as a greeting." Yet in no case has this well-intentioned
offer been agilely received, one asserting that he did not know
the resting-place of the tombs in question, a second that he had no
ancestors, a third that Kensal Green was not an entrancing spot for
a wet afternoon, a fourth that he would see them removed to a greater
distance first, another that he drew the line at mafficking in a
cemetery, and the like. These things, it may occur to your omniscience,
might in themselves have been conclusive, yet the next reference to the
matter would perhaps be tending to a more alluring hope.
"To-morrow," a person has remarked in the hearing of this one, "I go
to the Stratford which is upon the Avon, and without a pause I shall
prostrate myself intellectually before the immortal Shakespeare's tomb
and worship his unequalled memory."
"The intention is benevolently conceived," I remarked. "Yet has he no
descendants, this same Shakespeare, that the conciliation of his spirit
must be left to chance?"
When he assured me that this calamity had come about, I would have added
a richly-gilded brick from my store for transmission also, in the hope
that the neglected and capricious shadow would grant me an immunity from
its resentful attention, but the one in question raised a barrier of
dissent. If I wished to adorn a tomb, he added (evading the deeper
significance of the act), there was that of Goldsmith within its Temple,
upon which many impressionable maidens from across the Bitter Waters of
the West make it a custom to deposit chaplets of verses, in the hope
of seeing the offering chronicled in the papers; and in the Open Space
called Trafalgar there were the images of a great captain who led many
junks to victory and the Emperor of a former dynasty, where doubtless
the matter could be arranged; but the surrounding had by this time
become too involved, and this person had no alternative but to smile
symmetrically and reply that his words were indeed opals falling from a
topaz basin.
Later in the day, being desirous of becoming instructed more definitely,
I addressed myself to a venerable person who makes clean the passage of
the way at a point not far distant.
"If you have no sons to extend your industrious line," I said, when he
had revealed this fact to me, "why do you not adopt one to that end?"
With narrow-minded covetousness, he replied that nowadays he had enough
to do to keep himself, and that it would be more reasonable to get some
one to adopt HIM.
"But," I exclaimed, ignoring this ill-timed levity, "who, when you
have Passed Beyond, will worship you and transmit to your spirit the
necessities of life?"
"Governor," he replied, using the term of familiar dignity, "I've made
shift without being worshipped for five and sixty years, and it worries
me a sight more to know who will transmit to my body the necessities of
life until I HAVE Passed Beyond."
"The final consequences of your self-opinionated carelessness," this
person continued, "will be that your neglected and unprovided shadow,
finding itself no longer acceptable to the society of the better
class demons, will wander forth, and allying itself in despair to the
companionship of a band of outcasts like itself, will be driven to dwell
in unclean habitations and to subsist on the uncertain bounty of the
charitable."
"Very likely," replied the irredeemable person before me. "I can't help
its troubles. I have to do all that myself as it is."
Doubtless this fanaticism contains the secret of the ease with which
these barbarians have possessed themselves of the greater part of the
earth, and have even planted their assertive emblems on one or two spots
in our own Flowery Kingdom. What, O my esteemed parent, what can a brave
but devout and demon-fearing nation do when opposed to a people who are
quite prepared to die without first leaving an adequate posterity to
tend their shrines and offer incense? Assuredly, as a neighbouring
philosopher once had occasion to remark, using for his purpose a
metaphor so technically-involved that I must leave the interpretation
until we meet, "It may be war, but it isn't cricket."
The inevitable outcome, naturally, is that the Island must be the
wandering-place of myriads of spirits possessing no recognised standing,
and driven by want--having none to transmit them offerings--to the most
degraded subterfuges. It is freely admitted that there is scarcely an
ancient building not the abode of one or more of these abandoned demons,
doubtless well-disposed in the first instance, and capable of becoming
really beneficent Forces until they were driven to despair by obstinate
neglect. A society of very honourable persons (to which this one has
unobtrusively contributed a gift), exists for the purpose of searching
out the most distressing and meritorious cases among them, and removing
them, where possible, to a more congenial spot. The remarkable fact,
to this person's mind, is, that with the air and every available
space around absolutely packed with demons (as certainly must be the
prevailing state of things), the manifestations of their malignity and
vice are, if anything, rather less evident here than in our own favoured
country, where we do all in our power to satisfy their wants.
That same evening I found myself seated next to a maiden of
prepossessing vivacity, who was spoken of as being one of a kindred
but not identical race. Filled with the incredible profanity of those
around, and hoping to find among a nation so alluringly high-spirited
a more congenial elevation of mind, I at length turned to her and said,
"Do not regard the question as one of unworthy curiosity, for this
person's inside is white and funereal with his fears; but do you, of
your allied race, worship your ancestors?"
The maiden spent a moment in conscientious thought. "No, Mr. Kong," she
replied, with a most commendable sigh of unfeigned regret, "I can't say
that we do. I guess it's because we're too new. Mine, now, only go back
two generations, and they were mostly in lard. If they were old and
baronial it might be different, but I can't imagine myself worshipping
an ancestor in lard." (This doubtless refers to some barbaric method of
embalming.)
"And your wide and enlightened countrymen?" I asked, unable to restrain
a passion of pure-bred despair. "Do they also so regard the obligation?"
"I am afraid so," replied the maiden, with an honourable indication
towards my emotion. "But of course when a girl marries into the European
aristocracy, she and all her folk worship her husband's ancestors, until
every one about is fairly dizzy with the subject."
It is largely owing to the graceful and virtuous conversation of these
lesser ones that this person's knowledge of the exact position which
the ceremonial etiquette of the country demands on various occasions is
becoming so proficiently enlarged. It is true that they of my own sex do
not hesitate to inquire with penetrating assiduousness into certain of
the manners and customs of our land, but these for the most part do
not lead to a conversation in any way profitable to my discreeter
understanding. Those of the inner chamber, on the other hand, while
not scrupling to question me on the details of dress, the braiding and
gumming of the hair, the style and variety of the stalls of merchants,
the wearing of jade, gold, and crystal ornaments and flowers about
the head, smoking, and other matters affecting our lesser ones, very
magnanimously lead my contemplation back to a more custom-established
topic if by any hap in my ambitious ignorance I outstep it.
In such a manner it chanced on a former occasion that I sat side by side
with a certain maiden awaiting the return of others who had withdrawn
for a period. The season was that of white rains, and the fire being
lavishly extended about the grate we had harmoniously arranged ourselves
before it, while this person, at the repeated and explicit encouragement
of the maiden, spoke openly of such details of the inner chamber as he
has already indicated.
"Is it true, Mr. Ho" (thus the maiden, being unacquainted with the
actual facts, consistently addressed me), "that ladies' feet are
relentlessly compressed until they finally assume the proportions and
appearance of two bulbs?" and as she spoke she absent-mindedly regarded
her own slippers, which were out-thrust somewhat to receive the action
of the fire.
"It is a matter which cannot reasonably be denied," I replied; "and
it is doubtless owing to this effect that they are designated 'Golden
Lilies.' Yet when this observance has been slowly and painfully
accomplished, the extremities in question are not less small but
infinitely less graceful than the select and naturally-formed pair which
this person sees before him." And at the ingeniously-devised compliment
(which, not to become large-headed in self-imagination, it must be
admitted was revealed to me as available for practically all occasions
by the really invaluable Quang-Tsun), I bowed unremittingly.
"O, Mr. Ho!" exclaimed the maiden, and paused abruptly at the sound of
her words, as though they were inept.
"In many other ways a comparison equally irreproachable to the exalted
being at my side might be sought out," I continued, suddenly forming
the ill-destined judgment that I was no less competent than the more
experienced Quang-Tsun to contrive delicate offerings of speech. "Their
hair is rope like in its lack of spontaneous curve, their eyes as
deficient in lustre as a half-shuttered window; their hands are
exceedingly inferior in colour, and both on the left side, as it may be
expressed; their legs--" but at this point the maiden drew herself so
hastily into herself that I had no alternative but to conclude that
unless I reverted in some way the enterprise was in peril of being
inharmoniously conducted.
"Mr. Ho," said the maiden, after contemplating her inward thoughts for
a moment, "you are a foreigner, and you cannot be expected to know by
instinct what may and what may not be openly expressed in this country.
Therefore, although the obligation is not alluring, I think it kinder
to tell you that the matters which formed the subject of your last words
are never to be referred to."
At this rebuke I again bowed persistently, for it did not appear
reasonable to me that I could in any other way declare myself without
violating the imposed command.
"Not only are they never openly referred to," continued the maiden,
who in spite of the declared no allurement of the subject did not seem
disposed to abandon it at once, "but among the most select they are,
by unspoken agreement, regarded as 'having no actual existence,' as you
yourself would say."
"Yet," protested this person, somewhat puzzled, "to one who has
witnessed the highly-achieved attitudes of those within your Halls of
Harmony, and in an unyielding search for knowledge has addressed himself
even to the advertisement pages of the ladies' papers--"
The maiden waved her hand magnanimously. "In your land, as you have told
me, there are many things, not really existing, which for politeness you
assume to be. In a like but converse manner this is to be so regarded."
I thanked her voluminously. "The etiquette of this country is as
involved as the spoken tongue," I said, "for both are composed chiefly
of exceptions to a given rule. It was formerly impressed upon this
person, as a guiding principle, that that which is unseen is not to be
discussed; yet it is not held in disrepute to allude to so intimate and
secluded an organ as the heart, for no further removed than yesterday he
heard the deservedly popular sea-lieutenant in the act of declaring to
you, upon his knees, that you were utterly devoid of such a possession."
At this inoffensively-conveyed suggestion, the fire opposite had all the
appearance of suddenly reflecting itself into the maiden's face with a
most engaging concentration, while at the same time she stamped her foot
in ill-concealed rage.
"You've been listening at the door!" she cried impetuously, "and I shall
never forgive you."
"To no extent," I declared hastily (for although I had indeed been
listening at the door, it appeared, after the weight which she set
upon the incident, more honourable that I should deny it in order to
conciliate her mind). "It so chanced that for the moment this person
had forgotten whether the handle he was grasping was of the push-out or
turn-in variety, and in the involvement a few words of no particular or
enduring significance settled lightly upon his perception.
"In that case," she replied in high-souled liberality, while her eyes
scintillated towards me with a really all-overpowering radiance, "I will
forgive you."
"We have an old but very appropriate saying, 'To every man the voice of
one maiden carries further than the rolling of thunder,'" I remarked
in a significantly restrained tone; for, although conscious that the
circumstance was becoming more menace-laden than I had any previous
intention, I found myself to be incapable of extrication. "Florence--"
"Oh," she exclaimed quickly, raising her polished hand with an
undeniable gesture of reproof, "you must not call me by my christian
name, Mr. Ho."
"Yet," replied this person, with a confessedly stubborn inelegance, "you
call me by the name of Ho."
Her eyes became ox-like in an utter absence of almond outline. "Yes,"
she said gazing, "but that--that is not your christian name, is it?"
"In a position of speaking--this one being as a matter of fact a
discreditable follower of the sublime Confucius--it may be so regarded,"
I answered, "inasmuch as it is the milk-name of childhood."
"But you always put it last," she urged.
"Assuredly," I replied. "Being irrevocably born with the family name of
Kong, it is thought more reasonable that that should stand first. After
that, others are attached as the various contingencies demand it, as Ho
upon participating in the month-age feast, the book-name of Tsin at a
later period, Paik upon taking a degree, and so forth."
"I am very sorry, Mr. Kong," said the maiden, adding, with what at
the time certainly struck this person as shallow-witted prejudice. "Of
course it is really quite your own fault for being so tospy-turvily
arranged in every way. But, to return to the subject, why should not one
speak of one's heart?"
"Because," replied this person, colouring deeply, and scarcely able to
control his unbearable offence that so irreproachably-moulded a creature
should openly refer to the detail, "because it is a gross and unrefined
particular, much more internal and much less pleasantly-outlined
than those extremities whose spoken equivalent shall henceforth be an
abandoned word from my lips."
"But, in any case, it is not the actual organ that one infers,"
protested the maiden. "As the seat of the affections, passions, virtues,
and will, it is the conventional emblem of every thought and emotion."
"By no means," I cried, forgetting in the face of so heterodox an
assertion that it would be well to walk warily at every point. "That is
the stomach."
"Ah!" exclaimed the maiden, burying her face in a gracefully-perfumed
remnant of lace, to so overwhelming a degree that for the moment I
feared she might become involved in the dizzy falling. "Never, by any
mischance, use that word again the society of the presentable, Mr.
Kong."
"The ceremonial usage of my own land of the Heavenly Dynasty is
proverbially elaborate," I said, with a gesture of self-abasement, "but
in comparison with yours it may be regarded as an undeviating walk when
opposed to a stately and many-figured dance. Among the company of the
really excessively select (in which must ever be included the one whom
I am now addressing), it becomes difficult for an outcast of my
illimitable obtuseness to move to one side or the other without putting
his foot into that."
"Oh no," exclaimed the maiden, in fragrant encouragement, "I think you
are getting on very nicely, Mr. Kong, and one does not look for absolute
conformance from a foreigner--especially one who is so extremely
foreign. If I can help you with anything--of course I could not even
speak as I have done to an ordinary stranger, but with one of a distant
race it seems different--if I can tell you anything that will save
you--"
"You are all-exalted," I replied, with seemly humility, "and virtue and
wisdom press out your temples on either side. Certainly, since I have
learned that the heart is so poetically regarded, I have been assailed
by a fear lest other organs which I have hitherto despised might be used
in a similar way. Now, as regards liver--"
"It is only used with bacon," replied the maiden, rising abruptly.
"Kidneys?" suggested this person diffidently, really anxious to detain
her footsteps, although from her expression it did not rest assured that
the incident was taking an actually auspicious movement.
"I don't think you need speak of those except at breakfast," she said;
"but I hear the others returning, and I must really go to dress for
dinner."
Among the barbarians many keep books wherein to inscribe their deep and
beautiful thoughts. This person had therefore provided himself with
one also, and, drawing it forth, he now added to a page of many other
interesting compositions: "Maidens of immaculate refinement do not
hesitate to admit before a person of a different sex that they are on
the point of changing their robes. The liver is in some intricate way
an emblem representing bacon, or together with it the two stand for
a widely differing analogy. Among those of the highest exclusiveness
kidneys are never alluded to after the tenth gong-stroke of the
morning."
With a sincerely ingrained trust that the scenes of dignity, opulence,
and wisdom, set forth in these superficial letters, are not unsettling
your intellect and causing you to yearn for a fuller existence.
KONG HO.
LETTER VI
Concerning this person's well-sustained efforts to discover
further demons. The behaviour of those invoked on two
occasions.
VENERATED SIRE,--In an early letter I made some reference to a variety
of demon invoked by certain of the barbarians. As this matter aroused
your congenial interest, I have since privately bent my mind incessantly
to the discovery of others; but this has been by no means easy, for,
touching the more intimate details of the subject, the barbarians
frequently maintain a narrow-minded suspicion. Many whom I have
approached feign to become amused or have evaded a deliberate answer
under the subterfuge of a jest; yet, whenever I would have lurked by
night in their temples or among the enclosed spaces of their tombs to
learn more, at a given signal one in authority has approached me with
anxiety and mistrust engraved upon his features, and, disregarding my
unassuming protest that I would remain alone in a contemplative reverie,
has signified that so devout an exercise is contrary to their written
law.
On one occasion only did this person seem to hold himself poised on the
very edge of a fuller enlightenment. This was when, in the venerable
company of several benevolent persons, he was being taken from place to
place to see the more important buildings, and to observe the societies
of artificers labouring at their crafts. The greater part of the day had
already been spent in visiting temples, open spaces reserved to children
and those whose speech, appearance, and general manner of behaving
make it desirable that they should be set apart from the contact of the
impressionable, halls containing relics and emblems of the past,
places of no particular size or attraction but described as being of
unparalleled historic interest, and the stalls of the more reputable
venders of merchandise.
Doubtless, with observing so many details of a conflicting nature,
this person's discriminating faculties had become obscured, but towards
evening he certainly understood that we sought the company of an
assembly of those who had been selected from all the Empire to pronounce
definitely upon matters of supreme import. The building before which our
chariot stopped had every appearance of being worthy of so exceptional a
gathering, and with a most affluent joy that I should at last be able to
glean a decisive pronouncement, I evaded those who had accompanied
me, and, mingling self-reliantly with the throng inside, I quickly
surrounded myself with many of the wisest-looking, and begged that they would open their heads freely and express their innermost opinions upon the subject of demons of all kinds. |
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