Although I had admittedly hoped that these persons would not conceal
themselves behind the wings of epigram or intangible prevarication, I
was far from being prepared for the candour with which they greeted me,
and although by long usage I am reasonably unconcerned at the proximity
of any of our own recognised genii, it is not to be denied that my
organs of ferocity grew small and unstable at the revelations.
From their words it appeared that the spot on which we stood had
long been the recognised centre and meeting-place for every class of
abandoned and objectionable spirit of the universe. Not only this, but
several of the persons who had gathered around were confidently pointed
out as the earthly embodiment of various diabolical Forces, while others
cheerfully admitted that they themselves were the shadows of certain
illustrious ones who had long Passed Above, and all united in declaring
that those who moved among them wearing the distinction of a dark blue
uniform were Evil Beings of a most ghoulish and repulsive type. Indeed,
as I looked more closely, I could see that not only those pointed out,
but all standing around, had expressions immeasurably more in
keeping with a band of outcast spirits than suggestive of an assembly
representing wisdom and dignified ease. At that moment, however, a most
inelegant movement was caused by one suddenly declaring that he
had recognised this one who is inscribing his experiences to be the
apparition of a certain great reformer who during the period of his
ordinary existence had received the name of Guy Fawkes, and amid a
tumult of overwhelming acclamation a proposal was raised that I
should be carried around in triumph and afterwards initiated into
the observance of a time-honoured custom. Although it had now become
doubtful to what end the adventure was really tending, this person
would have submitted himself agreeably to the participation had not the
blue-apparelled band cleft their way into the throng just as I was about
to be borne off in triumph, and forming themselves into a ringed
barrier around me they presently succeeded in rearranging the contending
elements and in restoring me to the society of my friends. To these
persons they complained with somewhat unreasoning acrimony that I
had been exciting the inmates into a state of rebellion with wild
imaginings, and for the first time I then began to understand that an
important error had been perpetrated by some one, and that instead of
being a meeting-place for those upholding the wisdom and authority
of the country, the building was in reality an establishment for the
mentally defective and those of treacherous instincts.
For some time after this occurrence I failed to regard the subject of
demons and allied Forces in any but a spirit of complete no enthusiasm,
but more recently my interest and research have been enlarged by the
zeal and supernatural conversation of a liberal-minded person who
sought my prosaic society with indefatigable persistence. When we had
progressed to such a length that the one might speak of affairs without
the other at once interposing that he himself had also unfortunately
come out quite destitute of money, this stranger, who revealed to me
that his name was Glidder, but that in the company of a certain chosen
few he was known intimately as the Keeper of the Salograma, approached
me confidentially, and inquired whether we of our Central Kingdom were
in the habit of receiving manifestations from the spirits of those who
had Passed Beyond.
At the unassumed ingenuousness of this remark I suffered my
impassiveness to relax, as I replied with well-established pride that
although a country which neglected its ancestors might doubtless be
able to produce more of the ordinary or graveyard spectres, we were
unapproachable for the diverse forms and malignant enmity of our
apparitions. Of invisible beings alone, I continued tolerantly, we
had the distinction of being harassed by upwards of seven hundred
clearly-defined varieties, while the commoner inflictions of demons,
shades, visions, warlocks, phantoms, sprites, imps, phenomena, ghosts,
and reflections passed almost without comment; and touching our admitted
national speciality of dragons, the honour of supremacy had never been
questioned.
At this, the agreeable person said that the pleasure he derived from
meeting me was all-excelling, and that I must certainly accompany him to
a meeting-place of this same chosen few the following evening, when,
by the means of sacred expedients, they hoped to invoke the presence
of some departed spirits, and perchance successfully raise a tangible
vision or two. To so fair-minded a proposal I held myself acquiescently,
and then inquired where the meeting-place in question was destined
to be--whether in a ruined and abandoned sanctuary, or upon some
precipitous spot of desolation.
The inquiry was gracefully intended, but a passing cloud of unworthy
annoyance revealed itself upon the upper part of the other's expression
as he replied, "We, the true seekers, despise theatrical accessories,
and, as a matter of act, I couldn't well get away from the office in
time to go anywhere far. To-morrow we meet at my place in the Camden
Road. It's only a three-half-penny tram stage from the Euston and
Tottenham Court corner, so it couldn't be much more convenient for you."
He thereupon gave me an inscribed fragment of paper and mentioned the
appointed hour.
"I'll tell you why I am particularly anxious for you to come to-morrow,"
he said as we were each departing from one another. "Pash--he's the
Reader of the Veda among us--and his people have got hold of a Greek
woman (they SAY she is a princess, of course), who can do a lot of
things with flowers and plate glass. They are bringing her for the first
time to-morrow, and it struck me that if I have YOU there already when
they arrive--you'll come in your national costume by the way?--it will
be a considerable set-off. Since his daughter was presented to the
duchess at the opening of a bazaar, there has been no holding Pash; why
he was ever elected Reader of the Books, I don't know. Er--we have had
scoffers sometimes, but I trust I may rely upon you not to laugh at
anything you may not happen to agree with?"
With conscientious dignity I replied that I had only really laughed
seven times in my life, and therefore the entertainment was one which
I was not likely to embark upon hastily or with inadequate cause. He
immediately expressed a seemly regret that the detail had been spoken,
and again assuring him that at the stated hour I would present myself
at the house bearing the symbol engraved upon the card, we definitely
parted.
That, as a matter of fact, I did not so present myself at the exact
hour, chiefly concerns the uncouth and arbitrary-minded charioteer who
controlled the movements of the vehicle to which the one whom I was
seeking had explicitly referred; for at an angle in the road he suffered
the horses to draw us aside into a path which did not correspond to the
engraved signs upon the card, nor by any word of persuasion could he be
prevailed upon to return.
Thus, without any possible reproach upon the manner in which I was
conducting the enterprise, it came about that by the time I reached the
spot indicated, all those persons who had been spoken of as constituting
a chosen band were assembled, and with them the barbarian princess.
Nevertheless, this person was irreproachably greeted, and the maiden
indicated even spoke a few words to him in an outside tongue. Being
necessarily unacquainted with the import of the remark I spread out my
hands with a sign of harmonious sympathy and smiled agreeably, whereat
she appeared to receive an added esteem from the faces of those around
(excluding those directly of the House of Glidder), and was thereby
encouraged to speak similarly at intervals, this person each time
replying in a like fashion.
"Is he then a Guide of the Way, also, princess?" said the one Pash, who
had noted the occurrence; to which the maiden replied, "To a degree, yet
lacking the Innermost Mysteries."
Presently it was announced that all things were fittingly prepared in
another chamber. Here, upon a table of polished wood, stood on the one
side a round stone with certain markings, a group of inscribed books,
and various other emblems; and on the other side a bowl of water, a
sphere of crystal, pieces of unwritten parchment, and behind all, and at
a distance away, a sheet of transparent glass, greater in height than
an ordinary person and as wide. When all were seated--the one who had
enticed me among them placing himself before the stone, the person
Pash guarding the books, the barbarian princess being surrounded by her
symbols and alone in a self-imposed solitude, and the others at various
points--the lights were subdued and the appearances awaited.
It would scarcely be respectful, O my enlightened father, to take up
your well-spent leisure by a too prolific account of the matters which
followed, they being in no way dissimilar from the manifestations
by which the uninitiated little ones of Yuen-ping are wont to amuse
themselves and pass the winter evenings. From time to time harmonious
sounds could be plainly detected, flowers and branches of wood were
scattered sparsely here and there, persons claimed that passing objects
had touched their faces, and misshapen forms of smoke-like density
(which some confidently recognised as the outlines of departed ones whom
they had known), revealed themselves against the glass. When this had
been accomplished, the lights were recalled, and the barbarian maiden,
sinking into a condition of languor, announced and foretold events and
happenings upon which she was consulted, sometimes replying by spoken
words, at others suffering her hand to trace them lightly upon the
parchment sheets. Thus, to an inquirer it was announced that one, Aunt
Mary, in the Upper Air, was well and happy, though undeniably pained at
the action of Cousin William in the matter of the freehold houses, and
more than sceptical how his marriage would turn out. Another was advised
that although the interest on Consols was admittedly lower than that
anticipated by those controlling the destines of a new venture entitled,
The Great Rosy Dawn Gold Mine Development Syndicate, and the name
certainly less poetically inspiring, the advising spirits were of the
opinion that the former enterprise would prove the more stable of the
two, and, in any case, they recommended the person in question to begin
by placing not more than half of her life's savings into the mine.
The family of the House of Pash was assured that beneficent spirits
surrounded them at every turn, and that their good deeds were not
suffered to fall unfruitfully to the ground; while many bearing the name
of Glidder, on the other hand, were reproved by one who had known them
in infancy for the offences of jealousy, ostentation, vain thoughts,
shallowness of character, and the like.
At length, revered, as there seemed to be no reasonable indication of
any barbarian phantom of weight or authority appearing--nothing,
indeed, beyond what a person in our country, of no admitted skill, would
accomplish in the penetrating light of day with two others holding his
hands, and a third reposing upon his head, I formed the perhaps immature
judgment that the one to whom I was indebted for the entertainment would
be suffering a grievous frustration of his hopes and a diminution of his
outward authority. Therefore, without sufficient consideration of the
restricted surroundings, as it afterwards appeared, I threw myself
into a retrospective vision, and floating unencumbered through space,
I sought for Kwan Kiang-ti, the Demon of the Waters, upon whom I might
fittingly call, as I was given into his keeping by the ceremony of
spirit-adoption at an early age. Meeting an influence which I recognised
to be an indication of his presence, in the vicinity of the Eighth
Region, I obsequiously entreated that he would reveal himself without
delay, and then, convinced of his sympathetic intervention, I suffered
my spirit to recall itself, and revived into the condition of an
ordinary existence.
"We have among us this evening, my friends," the one Pash was saying,
"a very remarkable lady--if I may use so democratic a term in the
connection--to whom the limits of Time and Space are empty words, and
before whose supreme Will the most portentous Forces of Occult Nature
mutely confess themselves her attending slaves--" But at that moment
the rolling drums of Kiang-ti's thunder drowned his words, although he
subsequently raised his voice above it to entreat that any knives or
other articles of a bright and attractive kind should at once be removed
to a place of safety.
Heralded by these continuous sounds, and accompanied by innumerable
flashes of lightning, the genius presently manifested himself, leisurely
developing out of the air around. He appeared in his favourite guise of
an upright dragon, his scales being arranged in rows of nine each way,
a pearl showing within his throat, and upon his head the wooden bar. The
lights were extinguished incapably by the rain which fell continually in
his presence, but from his body there proceeded a luminous breath which
sufficiently revealed the various incidents.
"Kong Ho," said this opportune vision, speaking with a voice like the
beating of a brass gong, "the course you have adopted is an unusual one,
but the weight and regularity of your offerings have merit in my eyes.
Nevertheless, if your invocation is only the outcome of a shallow vanity
or a profane love of display, nothing can save you from a painful death.
Speak now, fully and without evasion, and fear nothing."
"Amiable Being," said this person, kow-towing profoundly, "the matter
was designed to the end only that your incomparable versatility might
be fittingly displayed. These barbarians sought vainly to raise phantoms
capable of any useful purpose, whereupon I, jealous of your superior
omnipotence, judged it would be an unseemly neglect not to inform you of
the opportunity."
"It is well," said the demon affably. "All doubt in the matter shall
now be set at rest. Could any more convincing act be found than that
I should breath upon these barbarians and reduce them instantly to a
scattering of thin white ashes?"
"Assuredly it would be a conclusive testimony," I replied; "yet in
that case consider how inadequate a witness could be borne to your
enlightened condescension, when none would be left but one to whom the
spoken language of this Island is more in the nature of a trap than a
comfortable vehicle."
"Your reasoning is profound, Kong Ho," he replied, "yet abundant
proof shall not be wanting." With these words he raised his hand, and
immediately the air became filled with an overwhelming shower of
those productions with which Kwan Kiang-ti's name is chiefly
associated--shells and pebbles of all kinds, lotus and other roots from
the river banks, weeds from seas of greater depths, fish of interminable
variety from both fresh and bitter waters, all falling in really
embarrassing abundance, and mingled with an incessant rain of sand and
water. In the midst of this the demon suddenly passed away, striking the
table as he went, so that it was scarred with the brand of a five-clawed
hand, shattering all the objects upon it (excepting the stone and
the books, which he doubtless regarded as sacred to some extent), and
leaving the room involved in a profound darkness.
"For the love av the saints--for the love av the saints, save us from
the yellow devils!" exclaimed a voice from the spot where last the
barbarian princess had reclined, and upon this person going to her
assistance with lights it was presently revealed that she alone had
remained seated, the others having all assembled themselves beneath the
table in spite of the incapability of the space at their disposal. Most
of the weightier evidences of Kwan Kiang-ti's majestic presence had
faded away, though the table retained the print of his impressive hand,
many objects remained irretrievably torn apart, and in a distant corner
of the room an insignificant heap of shells and seaweed still lingered.
From the floor covering a sprinkling of the purest Fuh-chow sand rose
at every step, the salt dew of the Tung-Hai still dropped from
the surroundings, and, at a later period, a shore crab was found
endeavouring to make its escape undetected.
Convinced that the success of the manifestation would have enlarged
the one Glidder's esteem towards me to an inexpressible degree, I now
approached him with words of self-deprecation ready on my tongue, but
before he spoke I became aware, from the nature of his glance, that
the provision had been unnecessary, for already his face had begun to
assume, to a most distended amount, the expression which I had long
recognised as a synonym that some detail had been regarded at a
different angle from that anticipated.
"May I ask," he began in a somewhat heavily-laden voice, after he had
assured himself that the person who was speaking was himself, and his
external attributes unchanged, "May I ask, sir" (and at this title,
which is untranslatable in its many-sided significance when technically
employed, I recognised that all complimentary intercourse might be
regarded as having closed), "whether you accept the responsibility of
these proceedings?"
"Touching the appearance which has so essentially contributed to the
success of the occasion, it is undeniably due to this one's foresight,"
I replied modestly.
"Then let me tell you, sir, that I consider it an outrage--a dastardly
outrage."
"Yet," protested this person with retiring assertiveness, "the expressed
object of the ceremony, as it stood before my intelligence, was for the
set purpose of invoking spirits and raising certain visions."
"Spirits!" exclaimed the one before me with an accent of concentrated
aversion; "yes, spirits; impalpable, civilised, genuine spirits, who
manifest themselves through recognised media, and are conformable to the
usages of the best drawing-room society--yes. But not demons, sir; not
Chinese devils in the Camden Road--no. Truth and Light at any cost, not
paganism. It's perfectly scandalous. Look at the mahogany table--ruined;
look at the wall-paper--conventional mackerels with a fishing-net
background, new this spring--soused; look at the Brussels carpet,
seventeen six by twenty-five--saturated!"
"I quite agree with you, Mr. Glidder," here interposed the individual
Pash. "I was watching you, sir, closely the whole time, and I have my
suspicions about how it was done. I don't know whether Mr. Glidder
has any legal redress, but I should certainly advise him to see his
solicitors to-morrow, and in the meantime--"
"He is my guest," exclaimed the one whose hospitality I was enjoying,
"and while he is beneath my roof he is sacred."
"But I do not think that it would be kind to detain him any longer in
his wet things," said another of the household, with pointed malignity,
and accepting this as an omen of departure, I withdrew myself, bowing
repeatedly, but offering no closer cordiality.
"Through a torn sleeve one drops a purse of gold," it is well said; and
as if to prove to a deeper end that misfortune is ever double-handed,
this incapable being, involved in thoughts of funereal density, bent
his footsteps to an inaccurate turning, and after much wandering was
compelled to pass the night upon a desolate heath--but that would be the
matter of another narrative.
With an insidious doubt whether, after all, the far-seeing Kwan
Kiang-ti's first impulse would not have been the most satisfactory
conclusion to the enterprise.
KONG HO.
LETTER VII
Concerning warfare, both as waged by ourselves and by a
nation devoid of true civilisation. The aged man and the
meeting and the parting of our ways. The instance of the one
who expressed emotion by leaping.
VENERATED SIRE,--You are omniscient, but I cannot regard the fear which
you express in your beautifully-written letter, bearing the sign of the
eleventh day of the seventh moon, as anything more than the imaginings
prompted by a too-lavish supper of your favourite shark's fin and peanut
oil. Unless the dexterously-elusive attributes of the genial-spoken
persons high in office at Pekin have deteriorated contemptibly
since this one's departure, it is quite impossible for our great
and enlightened Empire to be drawn into a conflict with the northern
barbarians whom you indicate, against our will. When the matter becomes
urgent, doubtless a prince of the Imperial line will loyally suffer
himself to Pass Above, and during the period of ceremonial mourning
for so pure and exalted an official it would indeed be an unseemly
desecration to engage in any public business. If this failed, and an
ultimatum were pressed with truly savage contempt for all that is sacred
and refined, it might be well next to consider the health even of the
sublime Emperor himself (or, perhaps better, that of the select and
ever-present Dowager Empress); but should the barbarians still advance,
and, setting the usages of civilised warfare at defiance, threaten an
engagement in the midst of this unparalleled calamity, there will be no
alternative but to have a formidable rebellion in the Capital. All
the barbarian powers will then assemble as usual, and in the general
involvement none dare move alone, and everything will have to be
regarded as being put back to where it was before. It is well said, "The
broken vessel can never be made whole, but it may be delicately arranged
so that another shall displace it."
These barbarians, less resourceful in device, have only recently emerged
from a conflict into which they do not hesitate to admit they were drawn
despite their protests. Such incompetence is characteristic of their
methods throughout. Not in any way disguising their purpose, they
at once sent out an army of those whom could be the readiest seized,
certainly furnishing them with weapons, charms to use in case of
emergency, and three-coloured standards (their adversaries adopting
a white banner to symbolise the conciliation of their attitude, and
displaying both freely in every extremity), but utterly neglecting to
teach them the arts of painting their bodies with awe-inspiring forms,
of imitating the cries of wild animals as they attacked, of clashing
their weapons together with menacing vigour, or any of the recognised
artifices by which terror may be struck into the ranks of an awaiting
foeman. The result was that which the prudent must have foreseen. The
more accomplished enemy, without exposing themselves to any unnecessary
inconvenience, gained many advantages by their intrepid power of
dissimulation--arranging their garments and positions in such a way that
they had the appearance of attacking when in reality they were effecting
a prudent retreat; rapidly concealing themselves among the earth on the
approach of an overwhelming force; becoming openly possessed with the
prophetic vision of an assured final victory whenever it could be no
longer concealed that matters were becoming very desperate indeed; and
gaining an effective respite when all other ways of extrication were
barred against them by the stratagem of feigning that they were other
than those whom they had at first appeared to be.
In the meantime the adventure was not progressing pleasantly for those
chiefly concerned at home. With the earliest tidings of repulse it was
discovered that in the haste of embarkation the wrong persons had been
sent, all those who were really the fittest to command remaining behind,
and many of these did not hesitate to write to the printed papers,
resolutely admitting that they themselves were in every way better
qualified to bring the expedition to a successful end, at the same time
skilfully pointing out how the disasters which those in the field
had incurred could easily have been avoided by acting in a precisely
contrary manner.
In the emergency the most far-seeing recommended a more unbending policy
of extermination. Among these, one in particular, a statesman bearing
an illustrious name of two-edged import, distinguished himself by the
liberal broad-mindedness of his opinions, and for the time he even did
not flinch from making himself excessively unpopular by the wide
and sweeping variety of his censure. "We are confessedly a barbarian
nation," fearlessly declared this unprejudiced person (who, although
entitled by hereditary right to carry a banner on the field of battle,
with patriotic self-effacement preferred to remain at home and encourage
those who were fighting by pointing out their inadequacy to the task and
the extreme unlikelihood of their ever accomplishing it), "and in order
to achieve our purpose speedily it is necessary to resort to the methods
of barbarism." The most effective measure, as he proceeded to explain
with well-thought-out detail, would be to capture all those least
capable of resistance, concentrate them into a given camp, and then
at an agreed signal reduce the entire assembly to what he termed, in
a passage of high-minded eloquence, "a smoking hecatomb of women and
children."
His advice was pointed with a crafty insight, for not only would such a
course have brought the stubborn enemy to a realisation of the weakness
of their position and thus paved the way to a dignified peace, but by
the act itself few would have been left to hand down the tradition of
a relentless antagonism. Yet with incredible obtuseness his advice was
ignored and he himself was referred to at the time by those who regarded
the matter from a different angle, with a scarcely-veiled dislike, which
towards many of his followers took the form of building materials and
other dissentient messages whenever they attempted to raise their voices
publicly. As an inevitable result the conquest of the country took
years, where it would have been moons had the more truly humane policy
been adopted, commerce and the arts languished, and in the end so little
spoil was taken that it was more common to meet six mendicants wearing
the honourable embellishment of the campaign than to see one captured
slave maiden offered for sale in the market places--indeed, even to this
day the deficiency is clearly admitted and openly referred to as The
Great "Domestic" Problem.
At various times during my residence here I have been filled with a
most acute gratification when the words of those around have seemed to
indicate that they recognised the undoubted superiority of the laws and
institutions of our enlightened country. Sometimes, it is true, upon a
more detailed investigation of the incident, it has presently appeared
that either I had misunderstood the exact nature of their sentiments
or they had slow-wittedly failed to grasp the precise operation of the
enactment I had described; but these exceptions are clearly the outcome
of their superficial training, and do not affect the fact my feeble and
frequently even eccentric arguments are at length certainly moving the
more intelligent into an admission of what constitutes true justice
and refinement. It is not to be denied that here and there exists a
prejudice against our customs even in the minds of the studious; but as
this is invariably the shadow of misconception, it has frequently been
my sympathetic privilege to promote harmony by means of the inexorable
logic of fact and reason. "But are not your officials uncompromisingly
opposed to the freedom of the Press?" said one who conversed with me on
the varying phases of the two countries, and knowing that in his eyes
this would constitute an unendurable offence, I at once appeased his
mind. "By no means," I replied; "if anything, the exact contrary is
the case. As a matter of reality, of course, there is no Press now, the
all-seeing Board of Censors having wisely determined that it was not
stimulating to the public welfare; but if such an institution was
permitted to exist you may rest genially assured that nothing could
exceed the lenient toleration which all in office would extend towards
it." A similar instance of malicious inaccuracy is widely spoken of
regarding our lesser ones. "Is it really a fact, Mr. Kong," exclaimed a
maiden of magnanimous condescension, to this person recently, "that
we poor women are despised in your country, and that among the
working-classes female children are even systematically abandoned as
soon as they are born?" Suffering my features to express amusement at
this unending calumny, I indicated my violent contempt towards the one
who had first uttered it. "So far from despising them," I continued,
with ingratiating gallantry, "we recognise that they are quite necessary
for the purposes of preparing our food, carrying weighty burdens,
and the like; and how grotesque an action would it be for poor but
affectionate parents to abandon one who in a few years' time could be
sold at a really remunerative profit, this, indeed, being the principal
means of sustenance in many frugal families."
On another occasion I had seated myself upon a wooden couch in one
of the open spaces about the outskirts of the city, when an aged man
chanced to pass by. Him I saluted with ceremonious politeness, on
account of his years and the venerable dignity of his beard. Thereupon
he approached near, and remarking affably that the afternoon was good
(though, to use no subtle evasion, it was very evil), he congenially sat
by my side and entered into familiar discourse.
"They say that in your part of the world we old grandfathers are
worshipped," he said, after recounting to my ears all the most intimate
details of his existence from his youth upwards; "now, might that be
right?"
"Truly," I replied. "It is the unchanging foundation of our system of
morality."
"Ay, ay," he admitted pleasantly. "We are a long way behind them
foreigners in everything. At the rate we're going there won't be any
trade nor work nor religion left in this country in another twenty
years. I often wish I had gone abroad when I was younger. And if I
had chanced upon your parts I should be worshipped, eh?" and at the
agreeable thought the aged man laughed in his throat with simple humour.
"Assuredly," I replied; "--after you were dead."
"Eh?" exclaimed the venerable person, checking the fountain of his mirth
abruptly at the word. "Dead! not before? Doesn't--doesn't that seem a
bit of a waste?"
"Such has been the observance from the time of unrecorded antiquity," I
replied. "'Obey parents, respect the old, loyally uphold the sovereign,
and worship ancestors.'"
"Well, well," remarked the one beside me, "obedience and respect--that's
something nowadays. And you make them do it?"
"Our laws are unflinching in their application," I said. "No crime is
held to be more detestable than disrespect of those to whom we owe our
existence."
"Quite right," he agreed, "it's a pleasure to hear it. It must be a
great country, yours; a country with a future, I should say. Now, about
that youngest lad of my son Henry's--the one that drops pet lizards down
my neck, and threatened to put rat poison into his mother's tea when she
wouldn't take him to the Military Turneyment; what would they do to him
by your laws?"
"If the assertion were well sustained by competent witnesses," I
replied, "it would probably be judged so execrable an offence, that
a new punishment would have to be contrived. Failing that, he would
certainly be wrapped round from head to foot in red-hot chains, and thus
exposed to public derision."
"Ah, red-hot chains!" said the aged person, as though the words formed a
pleasurable taste upon his palate. "The young beggar! Well, he'd deserve
it."
"Furthermore," I continued, gratified at having found one who so
intelligently appreciated the deficiencies of his own country and the
unblemished perfection of ours, "his parents and immediate descendants,
if any should exist, would be submitted to a fate as inevitable but
slightly less contemptuous--slow compression, perchance; his parents
once removed (thus enclosing your venerable personality), and remoter
offsprings would be merely put to the sword without further ignominy,
and those of less kinship to about the fourth degree would doubtless
escape with branding and a reprimand."
"Lordelpus!" exclaimed the patriarchal one, hastily leaping to the
extreme limit of the wooden couch, and grasping his staff into a
significant attitude of defence; "what's that for?"
"Our system of justice is all-embracing," I explained. "It is reasonably
held that in such a case either that there is an inherent strain of
criminality which must be eradicated at all hazard, or else that those
who are responsible for the virtuous instruction of the young have been
grossly neglectful of their duty. Whichever is the true cause, by this
unfailing method we reach the desired end, for, as our proverb aptly
says, 'Do the wise pluck the weed and leave the roots to spread?'"
"It's butchery, nothing short of Smithfield," said the ancient person
definitely, rising and moving to a more remote distance as he spoke the
words, yet never for a moment relaxing the aggressive angle at which
he thrust out his staff before him. "You're a bloodthirsty race in my
opinion, and when they get this door open in China that there's so much
talk about, out you go through it, my lad, or old England will know
why." With this narrow-minded imprecation on his lips he left me, not
even permitting me to continue expounding what would be the most likely
sentences meted out to the witnesses in the case, the dwellers of the
same street, and the members of the household with whom the youth in
question had contemplated forming an alliance.
Among the many contradictions which really almost seem purposely
arranged to entrap the unwary in this strangely under-side-up country,
is the fact that while the ennobled and those of high official rank are
courteous in their attitude and urbane--frequently even to the extent
of refusing money from those whom they have obliged, no matter how
privately pressed upon them--the low-caste and slavish are not only
deficient in obsequiousness, but are permitted to retort openly to those
who address them with fitting dignity. Here such a state of things
is too general to excite remark, but as instances are well called the
flowers of the tree of assertion, this person will set forth the manner
in which he was contumaciously opposed by an oblique-eyed outcast who
attended within the stall of one selling wrought gold, jewels, and
merchandise of the finer sort.
Being desirous of procuring a gift wherewith to propitiate a certain
maiden's esteem, and seeing above a shop of varied attraction a
suspended sign emblematic of three times repeated gild abundance I drew
near, not doubting to find beneath so auspicious a token the fulfilment
of an honourable accommodation. Inside the window was displayed one
of the implements by which the various details of a garment are joined
together upon turning a wheel, hung about with an inscription setting
forth that it was esteemed at the price of two units of gold, nineteen
pieces of silver, and eleven and three-quarters of the brass cash of the
land, and judging that no more suitable object could be procured for the
purpose, I entered the shop, and desired the attending slave to submit
it to my closer scrutiny.
"Behold," I exclaimed, when I had made a feint of setting the device
into motion (for it need not be concealed from you, O discreet one, that
I was really inadequate to the attempt, and, indeed, narrowly escaped
impaling myself upon its sudden and unexpected protrusions), "the
highly-burnished surface of your dexterously arranged window gave to
this engine a rich attractiveness which is altogether lacking at a
closer examination. Nevertheless, this person will not recede from a
perhaps too impulsive offer of one unit of gold, three pieces of silver,
and four and a half brass cash," my object, of course, being that after
the mutual recrimination of disparagement and over-praise we should in
the length of an hour or two reach a becoming compromise in the middle
distance.
"Well," responded the menial one, regarding me with an expression in
which he did not even attempt to subdue the baser emotions, "you HAVE
come a long way for nothing"; and he made a pretence of wishing to
replace the object.
"Yet," I continued, "observe with calm impartiality how insidiously the
rust has assailed the outer polish of the lacquer; perceive here upon
the beneath part of wood the ineffaceable depression of a deeply-pointed
blow; note well the--"
"It was good enough for you to want me to muck up out of the window,
wasn't it?" demanded the obstinate barbarian, becoming passionate in his
bearing rather than reluctantly, but with courteous grace, lessening the
price to a trifling degree, as we regard the proper way of carrying on
the enterprise.
"It is well said," I admitted, hoping that he might yet learn wisdom
from my attitude of unruffled urbanity, though I feared that his angle
of negotiating was unconquerably opposed to mine, "but now its many
imperfections are revealed. The inelegance of its outline, the grossness
of the applied colours, the unlucky combination of numbers engraved upon
this plate, the--"
"Damme!" cried the utterly perverse rebel standing opposite, "why don't
you keep on your Compound, you Yellow Peril? Who asked you to come into
my shop to blackguard the things? Come now, who did?"
"Assuredly it is your place of commerce," I replied cheerfully,
preparing to bring forward an argument, which in our country never fails
to shake the most stubborn, "yet bend your eyes to the fact that at no
great distance away there stands another and a more alluring stall of
merchandise where--"
"Go to it then!" screamed the abandoned outcast, leaping over his
counter and shouting aloud in a frenzy of uncontrollable rage. "Clear
out, or I'll bend my feet--" but concluding at this point that some
private calumny from which he was doubtless suffering was disturbing
his mind to so great an extent that there was little likelihood of
our bringing the transaction to a profitable end, I left the shop
immediately but with befitting dignity.
With a fell-founded assurance that you will now be acquiring a really
precise and bird's-eye-like insight into practically all phases of this
country.
KONG HO.
LETTER VIII
Concerning the wisdom of the sublime Wei Chung and its
application to the ordinary problems of existence. The
meeting of three, hitherto unknown to each other, about a
wayside inn, and their various manners of conducting the
enterprise.
VENERATED SIRE,--You will doubtless remember the behaviour of the aged
philosopher Wei Chung, when commanded by the broad-minded emperor of his
time to reveal the hidden sources of his illimitable knowledge, so
that all might freely acquire, and the race thereby become raised to a
position of unparalleled excellence. Taking the well-disposed sovereign
familiarly by the arm, Wei Chung led him to the mouth of his cave in the
forest, and, standing by his side, bade him reflect with open eyes for
a short space of time, and then express aloud what he had seen. "Nothing
of grave import," declared the emperor when the period was accomplished;
"only the trees shaken by the breeze." "It is enough," replied Wei
Chung. "What, to the adroitly-balanced mind, does such a sight
reveal?" "That it is certainly a windy day," exclaimed the omnipotent
triumphantly, for although admittedly divine, he yet lacked the
philosopher's discrimination. "On the contrary," replied the sage
coldly, "that is the natural pronouncement of the rankly superficial. To
the highly-trained intellect it conveys the more subtle truth that the
wind affects the trees, and not the trees affect the wind. For upwards
of seventy years this one has daily stood at the door of his cave for
a brief period, and regularly garnering a single detail of like
brilliance, has made it the well-spring for a day's reflection. As the
result he now has by heart upwards of twenty-five thousand useful facts,
all serviceable for original proverbs, and an encyclopaedic mind
which would enable him to take a high place in a popular competition
unassisted by a single work of reference." Much impressed by the
adventure the charitably-inclined emperor presented Wei Chung with an
onyx crown (which the philosopher at once threw into an adjacent well),
and returning to his capital published a decree that each day at
sunrise every person should stand at the door of his dwelling, and after
observing for a period, compare among themselves the details of their
thoughts. By this means he hoped to achieve his imperial purpose, but
although the literal part of the enactment is scrupulously maintained,
especially by the slothful and defamatory, who may be seen standing
at their doors and conversing together even to this day, from some
unforeseen imperfection the intellectual capacity of the race has
remained exactly as it was before.
Nevertheless it is not to be questioned that the system of the versatile
Wei Chung was, in itself, grounded upon a far-seeing accuracy, and
as the need of such a rational observation is deepened among the
inconsistencies and fantastic customs of a barbarian race, I have made
it a useful habit to accept as a guide for the day's behaviour the
reflections engendered by the first noteworthy incident of the morning.
Upon the day with which this letter concerns itself I had set forth, in
accordance with an ever-present desire, to explore some of the hidden
places of the city. At the time a tempest of great ferocity was raging,
and bending my head before it I had the distinction of coming into
contact with a person of ill-endowed exterior at an angle where two
reads met. This amiable wayfarer exchanged civilities with me after the
politeness characteristic of the labouring classes towards those who
differ from them in speech, dress, or colour: that is to say, he filled
his pipe from my proffered store, and after lighting it threw the match
into my face, and passed on with an appropriate remark.
Doubtless this insignificant occurrence would have faded without
internal comment if the penetrating Wei Chung had never existed, but
now, guided by his sublime precedent, I arranged the incident for the
day's conduct under three reflective heads.
It was while I was meditating on the second of these that an exclamation
caused me to turn, when I observed a prosperously-outlined person in
the act of picking up a scrip which had the appearance of being lavishly
distended with pieces of gold.
"If I had not seen you pass it, I should have opined that this hyer
wallet belonged to you," remarked the justice-loving stranger (for
the incident had irresistibly retarded my own footsteps), speaking
the language of this land, but with an accent of penetrating harmony
hitherto unknown to my ears. With these auspicious words he turned over
the object upon his hand doubtfully.
"So entrancing a possibility is, as you gracefully suggest, of
unavoidable denial," I replied. "Nevertheless, this person will not
hesitate to join his acclamation with yours; for, as the Book of Verses
wisely says, 'Even the blind, if truly polite, will extol the prospect
from your house-top.'"
"That's so," admitted the one by my side. "But I don't know that there
is any call for a special thanksgiving. As I happen to have more
money of my own than I can reasonably spend I shall drop this in at a
convenient police station. I dare say some poor critter is pining away
for it now."
Pleasantly impressed by the resolute benevolence of the one who had
a greater store of wealth than he could, by his own unaided efforts,
dispose of, I arranged myself unobtrusively at his side, and maintaining
an exhibition of my most polished and genial conversation, I sought to
penetrate deeply into his esteem.
"Gaze in this direction, Kong," he said at length, calling me by name
with auspicious familiarity; "I am a benighted stranger in this hyer
city, and so are you, I rek'n. Suppose we liquor up, and then take a few
of the side shows together."
"The suggestion is one against which I will erect no ill-disposed
barrier," I at once replied, so inflexibly determined not to lose sight
of a person possessing such engaging attributes as to be cheerfully
prepared even to consume my rice spirit in the inverted position which
his words implied if the display was persisted in. "Nevertheless,"
I added, with a resourceful prudence, "although by no means
undistinguished among the highest literary and competitive circles of
his native Yuen-ping, the one before you is incapable of walking in the
footsteps of a person whose accumulations are greater than he himself
can appreciably diminish."
"That's all right, Kong," exclaimed the one whom my last words fittingly
described, striking the recess of his lower garment with a gesture of
graceful significance. "When I take a fancy to any one it isn't a matter
of dollars. I usually carry a trifle of five hundred or a thousand
pounds in my pocket-book, and if we can get through that--why, there's
plenty more waiting at the bank. Say, though, I hope you don't keep much
about you; it isn't really safe."
"The temptation to do so is one which this person has hitherto
successfully evaded," I replied. "The contents of this reptile-skin
case"--and not to be outshone in mutual confidence I here displayed it
openly--"do not exceed nine or ten pieces of gold and a like number of
printed obligations promising to pay five pieces each."
"Put it away, Kong," he said resolutely. "You won't need that so long as
you're with me. Well, now, what sort of a saloon have we here?"
As far as the opinion might be superficially expressed it had every
indication of being one of noteworthy antiquity, and to the innately
modest mind its unassuming diffidence might have lent an added charm.
Nevertheless, on most occasions this person would have maintained
an unshaken dexterity in avoiding its open door, but as the choice
admittedly lay in the hands of one who carried five hundred or a thousand pieces of gold we went in together and passed through to a compartment of retiring seclusion. |
|
댓글 없음:
댓글 쓰기