"It is not possible to describe in language, nor would I do so even if
possible, how the spirit may disperse these various chemical bonds which
form its vesture here. To one watching, the form seems to dissolve as
the various elements pass into the air, even as when by the influence of
intense heat the solid metal becomes transformed into invisible gases.
"The views which many people, even though well educated, hold with
regard to matter are most extraordinary. Without acknowledging it, they
consider anything that is solid as on quite a distinct plane from that
which is liquid or gaseous, and though they are well aware of the fact
that it requires but a comparatively slight alteration in temperature to
turn this solid earth into a ball of gas, even this knowledge does not
really affect their unconscious prejudice. So again with regard to the
views held about the body: though even a child can tell you that the
body is for ever changing, how few can realize when they meet some loved
friend who has been absent a few years that the hand they touch is not
the same they touched at parting; that the eye which looks into theirs
is a strange one; and that not one single particle of the body before
them have they ever seen before! The spirit alone remains. How many
bodies do we bury before the final funeral day comes round? Why should
we care more for the last fragments than for the lesser fragments gone
before? We gather from the water, earth, and air, directly or
indirectly, all our spirit’s clothing. We use these gifts a little
time, and then return them to the givers. In man’s present state the
will acts unconsciously, our animal instincts drawing slowly such
particles as they require. With a higher knowledge the spirit acts more
directly upon matter, ruling it, and with conscious power attracting or
repelling the elements at will; but there is no more violation of
natural law in such seeming miracles than there is in the machinery
which can turn out in less than a second some work which in years gone
by may have taken a man days of labour to accomplish.
"It is, of course, the same with the material covering of the body, save
that to gather together particles such as are required for clothing is
far simpler and easier than to draw those required for the more
complicated formation of the human form.
"For instance, there were many present among the priests who could bring
together any combinations of gaseous matters and convert them into
whatsoever they wished that had not life. Thus even gold was considered
here of no value. They could create the outer semblance of some of the
lower forms of life, though in no case is it possible to give the spirit
of life--even in its lowest form, such as is the plants, for this divine
gift is eternal, and cometh and goeth by the will of the Creator alone.
"But to return to the scene in the temple. As I stood in the midst of
the white-robed assembly of mortals, encircled by the countless host of
spirit forms, the fear of destroying my one link to the earth passed
away, and I began to free myself from the bondage of the body; not as I
had hitherto done, by quitting it, but by force of will and through
knowledge taught me in the spirit-world. I let the particles which
formed it free, changing them into those few elementary substances from
which, through a rearrangement of atoms, our complicated structure is
composed. Thus, while those around could still notice no change in the
apparently sleeping forms of Luloor and Karman, my body had become
invisible. The great experiment had so far proved successful, though it
still remained a matter of uncertainty whether I should be able to
regain my material form.
"It had been arranged beforehand, in order better to dispel the anxiety
of those who were watching, and to avoid any additional risk, that on
this first occasion my spirit should not wander far, but return soon and
recall, if possible, its material shape. I believe that it was owing to
this precaution that I was successful, for not only was I able thus to
receive the aid of every member of the society, but the shorter the time
that the spirit is in freedom, the less difficult is it to return to a
bodily existence. It will suffice for the present to say that I
succeeded, and from that day continually made fresh experiments, staying
away longer, and returning to the body at various places, each time at a
greater distance from the temple.
"At first my spirit was always accompanied by Luloor and Karman, but as
I grew more confident, I began to dispense first with one and then with
both my companions. At last, without difficulty I could take up a new
form in any part of the world, and in one sense the limitations of time
and space were partially removed.
"It has been necessary for me to dwell thus briefly on my life at Aphar
to enable you to understand my further relations with Vera; but I have
purposely avoided going into any unnecessary details, and do not intend
to refer again to the matter at present. Indeed, if it had been possible
to make myself intelligible without mentioning the subject, I should
have preferred it. But it would have been hopeless otherwise to explain
the power which I acquired, and the entire alteration in my views of
life which dated from this time; for this experience changed and
revolutionized my character in such a way that it would have been
impossible for you to follow my further actions with any degree of
comprehension.
"I propose now to let you have an account of what was taking place in
England during my absence, but I shall let Vera tell it to you herself,
in her own words, or rather it shall seem to you that this is so. But
remember that the girl will appear to you as she was at the time, not
only in appearance, but in thought and character."
Even as Alan Sydney spoke I found myself in complete darkness; then I
heard Vera’s voice.
"I have come," she said, "to tell you the story of my life after Alan
left me and went to India."
As she was speaking the light once more fell softly on the room; my late
companion had gone, and I was alone save for the presence of the
beautiful girl, whose weak yet lovely face I have already endeavoured to
describe.
*PART III*
*CHAPTER IX*
"Listen!" Vera said, moving forward and sitting down on the couch beside
me. "It is a strange experience. My position, to begin with, was
unusual and somewhat upsetting to a girl of only eighteen. I was
married to Lord Vancome, a man I did not even like, who had moreover
disappeared; while the man I admired and trusted had also left England,
after giving me a large fortune. I was in possession of Somerville, my
husband’s ancestral home, and of all his estates, neither of which had
he power to enter without my consent. My father, whom I had always
believed to be wealthy, would also soon be dependent upon my generosity.
"The day that Alan left, his lawyer arrived from London, and explained
the position to me. Being married, I had become freed from all parental
control; the estates and money were tied up in such a manner that my
husband could not touch them; and, to my surprise, I found out from the
conversation that a thousand pounds a year would be paid to Lord Vancome
as long as he took no steps to interfere with my inclinations, but that
should he at any time take legal action to compel me to live with him,
this payment would be stopped.
"The lawyer also explained how, in the event of my husband taking this
step, which seemed very improbable, the law could be easily avoided by a
person who was, like myself, in possession of a large private fortune.
"Having made all these complicated details as plain as possible, and
after advising me to consult him before taking any important step, he
asked to see my father.
"What passed at this interview I do not know, but from that day I was
treated by my parents in a way differing considerably from anything
hitherto experienced. I was flattered, petted, and allowed to do
exactly what I pleased without comment or rebuke.
"We soon decided to leave Heather Lodge, and spend a short time in
London, after which I had made up my mind to go with my parents and live
at Somerville. Nothing of importance happened during our stay in town.
My father was busily engaged in making arrangements with his creditors,
whilst I spent most of my time in the new delight of shopping on my own
account.
"Somerville had been bought, together with all the old pictures,
tapestries, and furniture which had belonged to my husband’s family, so
that I was spared the expense of furnishing a large house. But there
were, nevertheless, opportunities for extravagance open even in this
direction, to say nothing of dress and jewellery, so that the days
passed pleasantly.
"It was not till May that I first saw my new home, and even then I left
London with regret. My father had gone down two or three times to see
that everything was in order. Servants had been engaged, and the place
was quite comfortable when we arrived.
"Somerville is a fine old house, but unfortunately the man who had
decided upon the position chose it with more regard to appearance than
health. In the park around, which covers about a thousand acres, there
are hundreds of what modern builders would call ’eligible and imposing
sites,’ yet this perverse man placed his building in a hollow,
surrounded on three sides by rising ground, opening only to the south.
The slopes are covered with magnificent trees; a stream rushes down
behind the building and falls over a beautiful waterfall into a lake.
This expanse of water, the foliage and enclosing hills, make the
situation relaxing, and in summer time the air is very oppressive.
"I was, however, at first much too delighted with the place to think of
these defects. We arrived on a beautiful evening, bright, yet cool; the
sunset made a lovely background for the trees. Through gaps in the dark
foliage the red light fell in patterns on the moss-covered stone roofing
of the house, or was reflected from the surface of the lake. The birds
were singing gaily, their song mingling pleasantly with the sound of
falling water. There had been heavy rain, and the air was full of the
sweet, yet bitter, smell of earth, decaying leaves, and spring flowers.
"The house, which had been built during the reign of Charles I., was a
long, low, stone building, with mullioned windows. It gave the idea of
being larger than it really was, but owing to its moderate proportions,
the rooms were very comfortable. There was little oak to be seen in the
house, the panelling and furniture throughout being of mahogany, which
was nearly black with age. The walls were covered with tapestry,
pictures, armour, and many relics of bygone sport.
"While looking round I thought of my husband, and tried to picture him
as a child playing in the old rooms. For a moment I wished that he were
there and could tell me the stories connected with some of the relics.
"’Father,’ I said, ’we shall, after all, have to ask Vancome down, if
only to learn something about my new family history.’
"A look of annoyance passed over my father’s face, and he answered
crossly--
"’Nonsense, child! I hope you will not think of such a thing! There is
an old housekeeper who has been here for goodness knows how many years;
I kept her on that she might be useful. Whatever you want to know Mrs.
King will no doubt be able to tell you.’ Then, apparently remembering
the altered position of affairs, his voice changed as he continued,
’Well, dearest, and what do you think of your new home? It is a lovely
place for a young girl to be mistress of, and if sensible she will be in
no hurry to hand it over to any spendthrift master. Should you require a
little knowledge or advice, who can give it you better than your father?
In me, little one, you will find a man who is willing to take the
trouble and responsibility off your hands, and at the same time leave
you free to do just as you choose.’
"This was not the first time that I had noticed how strongly my father
was opposed to the idea of any meeting taking place between my husband
and myself. I am now inclined to fancy that the reason we left London at
the commencement of the season was owing more to his influence than to
my own inclination. He had always been picturing to me the delights of
country life in my new home; and it is quite possible that the fear of
Vancome returning to London had a good deal to do with his action. Nor
did he confine himself to this course only. Every story he could rake
up which presented my husband in a vile or ridiculous light was repeated
to me, and I have since found out that many of these reports were highly
coloured. My mother, in a feeble way, backed him up.
"’Darling,’ she said to me on the night of our arrival, when I went up
to her room to kiss her before going to bed; ’what a lucky girl you are!
Marriage is not by any means all that you young people think, even if by
some rare chance you do secure a good husband. To be tied down to one
man, and have to put up with all his little fads, jealousies, or
tempers; never to be able to call a day your own, or to make friends of
one of the other sex without the possibility of a scene! Well, most of
us have to take the chance of this kind of life at the best, or go
unprovided for; while you, owing to the generosity of Alan Sydney, have,
without any of the disadvantages, everything you can desire--wealth,
freedom, and position. With such a fortune the world is at your feet,
if only you keep that scamp of a husband of yours at arm’s-length.
Without your consent he can do nothing, but if you once allow him to get
a footing here again, good-bye to your happiness, your money, and your
power. Do not forget what I have said, dearest, and run away now, for I
am very much done up after my journey.’
"As I lay in bed that night I thought over what my mother had said. How
changed were these opinions now from those she had expressed a year ago!
Then it seemed that marriage was the one aim of a girl’s life; that love
had some meaning, though she had always told me that love and poverty
never long exist hand-in-hand. But what glowing pictures she had
painted of wealthy married life! Now we had ascended to a higher plane
still, and I found the three degrees of comparison--first, love and
poverty; then love and riches; and best of all, riches without love. I
was, however, rather doubtful if this last stage would satisfy me for
long, though I failed to see any remedy. Alas! I loved the wrong man,
and regretted deeply the folly which had persuaded me to throw him over
on that unlucky night.
"But it was useless to dwell on the past; so, trying to fancy that I was
as fortunate as my parents seemed to think, I cried a little, and fell
asleep, wondering what I was crying about.
"That night I had a most unpleasant dream. I thought I heard a sound as
of some one moving in the house, and though trembling with fear, I got
out of bed and went to the door to listen. Some one was evidently
coming along the landing which led to my room. After trying the handle
to make sure that my door was locked, I turned round with the intention
of getting into bed, but found, much to my dismay, that I was no longer
in my own room, but in the hall down-stairs. In front of me on the
further wall hung a picture--a portrait of myself. The eyes seemed
turned to me with a look of deep, pitiful interest. While standing thus
in wonder, the door behind me opened. I turned, yet though the sound of
footsteps passed me and went on toward the picture, I could see no one.
"Then it seemed to me as though this invisible presence cut with a knife
round the edges of the canvas, and the painting fell forward with its
face on the floor, leaving a deep black hole through which the stars
could be seen to glimmer in the heaven, whilst at the same minute a gust
of cold wind came into the room.
"But worse was to follow, for through this strange doorway into the
outer night, three horrible winged creatures like bats entered with
noiseless flight, followed by a large owl. These foul vampires
fluttered around me, and as I fiercely fought at the winged brutes,
striving to drive them from me, the owl, which had settled on the
picture-frame, sat blinking its eyes and rolling its head from side to
side. At last, utterly exhausted, I sank down upon the ground, and the
hideous creatures fell upon me, biting through my thin covering, and
staining the white linen with my blood.
"Then through the dark opening a snow-white dove passed, as a streak of
moonlight, into the room and fluttered over me, and its soft eyes were
turned to mine. No sooner, however, did the vampires become conscious of
its presence, than leaving me with one accord they rose upward and tried
to seize it. Scarcely had their loathly forms, however, come in contact
with the white fluttering wings, than, as though struck by some flash of
unseen lightning, they fell lifeless on my breast; and at the horror of
their dead touch I awoke! Yet even as I looked around my room the
blinking eyes and nodding head of the owl seemed still before me.
"I sat up, listening, and stared into the darkness. The sound of
footsteps and the opening and shutting of doors could be distinctly
heard. It had doubtless been such sounds that had in some way
influenced my dream.
"I was now wide-awake, and could distinguish my father’s voice speaking
to one of the servants, so all fear of the supernatural vanished. I
struck a match, and drawing a warm wrapper over me went out on to the
landing to discover the cause of the disturbance. I had barely opened my
door before a maid with blanched face came hurrying towards me.
"’Please, my lady,’ she said, ’Mr. Soudin wants you in your mother’s
room at once;’ and not waiting for me to ask a question she hurried on.
"Frightened by the girl’s expression, I ran down the passage, but on
reaching my mother’s door, hesitated. It was partially opened, and I
could hear the sound of rambling speech. Then for a moment there was
silence, but as I entered a piercing cry made me hasten forward.
"The fire cast a lurid light over the room, throwing shadows now here,
now there, upon the objects around. My father stood beside the bed, his
face turned from me, as he held a glass in one hand and with the other
supported my mother, who was sitting up surrounded with pillows. Her
face was deadly pale, her eyes fixed as though upon some horrible
vision.
"I am afraid that I never loved my parents, though it is not easy to say
why, for in a certain sense they had always been kind to me. They had
fed, clothed, and educated, but never really made a companion of me. My
father was always either engaged in business or pleasure, and my
presence as a rule seemed to irritate him. My mother had, almost before
I can remember, given up interest in any one; she spent her time chiefly
in reading novels, and gave as a reason for thus neglecting her duties
the bad health and excessive nervousness which made every movement or
sound torture to her. Before marriage she had been a recognized beauty,
and for many years enjoyed the gaiety of social life; but at last she
had fallen under the influence of some preacher who had thoroughly
frightened her. Then for a time she devoted herself to various
charitable undertakings, and found religious dissipation in attending
conferences and comparing sensations with those who were similarly
affected. But this enthusiasm did not last. Finally, she developed a
distinct form of hysteria, all her time being devoted either to her
health or books, the latter romances either of religious or purely
sensational emotion.
"As a child I had been left to nurses and governesses, seldom allowed to
enter my mother’s room, and whenever the opportunity occurred, it was
quite apparent that I was there on sufferance, and that the sooner I
left the better it would be for every one concerned. When old enough I
was sent to school, and as I was nearly seventeen when I left, you can
fancy that my associations with home life were not strong. But though
my love may have been weak, it did not prevent me from feeling both pity
and terror as I looked on my mother.
"Up to this time I had never been brought face to face either with acute
suffering or death. As I stood in helpless perplexity, her rambling
words still more alarmed me.
"’I see it all!’ she cried. ’Damned! after all I am damned!--Look! the
road is broad, and hedged in on both sides with flowers--let me get out
of it.--Ah! I cannot!--The thorns cut into my flesh, look--look!--did I
not say so?--The smoke is rising there in the distance;--it is coming
this way, a great cloud sweeping over me--suffocating me.’
"With a terrible cry she struggled violently for a moment with her
hands, tearing wildly at her throat; then with an awful groan she fell
back dead!
"I will not dwell upon what followed, or how my father, who had never
seemed to care for her in life, now that she was gone referred to her as
the only bond which had bound him to earth. He, however, soon grew
resigned to what he called ’the mysterious dispensations of Providence.’
I had, moreover, during the weeks that followed, to put up with what was
to me an exceedingly painful form of retrospection on his part, which
usually took place after dinner.
"’My dear,’ he would begin, ’if only we could foresee the future, how
differently should we act! Many a time have I felt peevish and irritable
because your sainted mother was unable to fulfil those duties which her
station in life required. It is true that at times I considered there
was little excuse for this neglect; but I have been chastened, greatly
chastened for such suspicion. A divine Providence has torn from me the
jewel which I failed to value, and I must now wander alone through this
valley of tears. But resignation, my child--resignation! In vain do we
kick against the pricks, and draw our sword to contend with fate. Let
us rather ponder on the lesson thus given us, that we may be purged from
our evil ways!’
"This sort of talk would continue for some time; the more depressed he
became, the more necessary he seemed to find it to continue filling up
and emptying his glass, till at last the tears of emotion mingled with
the port, and he sank back in his easy chair, to meditate, I suppose,
with his eyes shut.
"During the day he seemed fairly cheerful, and spent much of his time
with the gamekeepers; for, as he explained to me, it was absolutely
necessary for the place to be properly kept up, so that when the
shooting season came round, I might be able to entertain my friends. No
doubt he meant his friends, but that was the way he put it.
"While he was thus busying himself with outdoor matters, I had the
indoor arrangements to attend to, which threw me much in the way of Mrs.
King. She was a dear old character; but had my father known her
sentiments, it is probable that he would never have engaged her.
"She entirely refused to accept the present position of things, and
treated my separation from Vancome as a little temporary joke, which it
was her duty to bring to an end as speedily as possible.
"’My dear lady,’ she said one day, after giving me a more than usually
long piece of family history, ’I shall be glad when Master Frank--my
lord, I mean--comes back. Such a nice young man as he is, too, and the
prettiest child he was for miles round. You should just have seen the
way as every one did spoil him. There were no resisting of his pretty
ways. A bit larky, I know, but bless your heart, boys ain’t worth much
if they don’t show spirit! Pity it were his poor dear father and mother
both died afore he was a bit older; for though my lord, as was, did give
him a free hand, he wouldn’t have let him gamble away the old place, so
that his wife, bless her, had to buy it back again--not he!’
"’But you don’t think I am going to live with him again?’ I said. ’It
is true that in a foolish moment I married him, but then things were
different; I didn’t know what he was like, and very likely you have no
idea of what he is now. You should hear of the way he goes on in
London! It is not the gambling I mind so much, though that is bad
enough; but the actresses and ballet-girls with whom he associates--oh!
it is simply awful!’
"’Oh! my poor, dear, innocent lady!--whoever can have gone a-talking to
you about such things! But, bless your heart! you believe an old woman,
there ain’t no real badness in Master Frank. He always was a bit too
fond perhaps of a pretty face, but then all of ’em is much the same. It
is the girl’s fault, I reckon, nine times out of ten; and many’s the day
I’ve had to bustle off some young minx of a housemaid, or maybe even a
scullery wench, for the way they’d carry on, and he no more than a boy
of fifteen! I ain’t got any patience, that I haven’t, with the girls of
the present day! No self-respect, or keeping in their place. Why, I’ve
even heard ’em a’quarrelling as to which he were fondest of, and which
he had kissed last. But I soon had the hussies out of the house in
those days! And I got pretty careful about the choice of their
successors; they weren’t overdone with good looks the next lot, I can
tell you! Well, you see, when a young man goes out like into the world,
he has got to sow his wild oats a bit afore he settles down; but you
take an old woman’s word for it, the young lord’s good at heart, and
happy you’ll make me when I see the two of you together. Ay! and when I
hold the young lord that is to be in these arms, as I did his father
nigh on twenty-seven years ago!’
"After this manner and, as I got to know her better, in an even more
familiar strain, did the old housekeeper do her best to alter my
decision. Her arguments might have lacked logic, but she was a clever
old thing in her way, and the love which she really felt for her young
lord was more powerful than her justification of his faults. The
stories of his childhood, picked doubtless out of many less attractive,
were always in his favour, and showed his bravery, affection, and
brightness. What, however, influenced me more than anything else were
her pictures of the romantic side of married life, which differed
entirely from anything I had been led to fancy. She would conclude a
long rambling discourse on the subject in this manner--
"’Ah! little can you know what a woman misses as never has a chance of
being loved--never can turn her mind back to the joys which come
flocking down on a bride. Thanks be to heaven! I knowed it, though it
weren’t for long. But when I looks at an old maid, why I feels just fit
to cry. To have gone through life and not know nothing about it! Never
to have felt that there was one man as loved you, and would have done
anything to call you his own--to feel each year as it goes by that your
chance is getting less of waking out of this sort of half-and-half
existence, and beginning to live! It is just this. A girl as isn’t
married ain’t natural; and things as ain’t natural ain’t good in no
ways. We was told to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth,
and they as can and don’t, is to my mind going right dead against
Scripture!’"
*CHAPTER X*
"Two months passed, and it is probable that soon I might have tired of
the monotony of this existence, had not my school-friend, Amy Howell,
come to stay with me. She was one of a large family, and her father, a
country clergyman, having recently lost money, had now some difficulty
in making both ends meet.
"At school we had been great friends; she was a year older than myself,
and as great a contrast in appearance as in disposition. Her short,
black, and rather coarse hair curled round a pretty forehead; she had a
dark, clear complexion--the colour of cream in which a few drops of
coffee have been mixed; a bright, deep colour; full, pretty-shaped,
pouting lips, ever ready and ever seeming ready for kisses; while the
natural gaiety of her nature peeped through the thick lashes which
partially concealed her large hazel eyes.
"She possessed a fortunate knack of always being able to make herself
agreeable, and of appearing to take an interest in any subject that
might arise. Her enemies called her insincere, a flatterer, and
time-server; but I cannot say that I ever noticed these faults myself.
Her worst enemy could not have called her dull.
"She soon became a great favourite with my father, who found her a
sympathetic listener to his woes whenever he felt disposed to air them.
Mrs. King could not speak too highly of her, and the servants were
unanimous in their praise of her consideration and kindness.
"’It is surprising why people are ever nasty,’ she said to me one day,
when I was commenting on her popularity. ’It is so easy to make people
like you if you only try. To be cross with others makes one cross with
oneself. Now you, for instance, are always kind, and think what a happy
life you have!’
"’I don’t know so much about my kindness,’ I answered; ’any way, it’s
quite a different thing from yours. Now look at the way you got over
old Mrs. Scott yesterday; I simply can’t bear the woman, with her
conceited vulgarity!--and her patronizing manner puts all my bristles
up. I feel I could scratch her! While if she had been your lover
instead of an ugly old woman, you could hardly have appeared more
affectionate!’
"’Well, perhaps I’m not quite so naturally truthful as you are, dear,’
she said. ’I do not like her myself, but why should we show it? It’s
so nice to be liked; and you never know when it may be to your advantage
to make a friend, and I’m sure it is never any good to make an enemy.
She might set some one against me whom I might really like. Besides,
the truth is this--I cannot help it. Whenever I see a person, male or
female, young or old, a distinct inclination comes over me to purr. I
want them to take notice of me, and stroke my back; so if they do not
start at once I’m obliged to rub softly against their feet, and let them
know I require a caress. I read a book once about the transmigration of
souls, or something of that kind, which said that people have been
animals once. It’s rather a funny idea! I like to fancy what each
person has passed through in a previous existence. I think I must have
died an untimely death as a kitten, and have to work out the rest of the
purring stage here.’
"’What do you think I looked like in the last stage?’ I asked.
"’Oh, I think you were a fawn, and it is that which makes you shun that
old spotted leopardess, so that you feel inclined to retire into the
next cover, you poor little timid thing, hiding away even from your
husband!’
"’Why, you don’t think I’m afraid of him,’ I asked, ’do you?’
"’Well, how can I tell? If I had a husband I rather fancy I should be
wanting to have him handy. Wouldn’t I just make him wild about me! Of
course I know how you feel, and the way he has acted. No doubt you are
quite right; but I should want to make him sorry that he couldn’t take
me in his arms; and shouldn’t I just make him jealous! Look at your
position. Don’t I wish that I had your chances! He can’t come unless
you let him, so you can do as you please; ask a lot of nice people to
the house, and enjoy yourself. I should flirt a little perhaps! It’s
wrong; but you know I don’t set up to be good, and I’m certain it would
be impossible for me to resist the temptation. Then I’d take care to
let him know all about it. Yes, dear, that would be the way to punish
him--drive him mad with jealousy! You may be quite certain that he
manages to find out all about your doings, and I call it just pampering
him the way you go on. He knows you’re quite safe, no doubt. Mr.
Sydney’s gone to India; you are shut up with your father and your
school-friend, while he is free to enjoy himself, and knows that one day
he will be forgiven, and can well afford to wait.’
"’He is quite mistaken if he thinks that, I can tell you!’ I answered
rather angrily, being annoyed with the way she had put the case.
"’That may be,’ she said, jumping up and giving me a kiss; ’but men are
so conceited, dearest, and when he hears that you are moping here--they
are sure to tell him you are moping, because women are always supposed
to mope in the eyes of the male sex when deprived of their
company--he’ll believe it. Besides, think what people will say--that
your husband was tired of you in less than a week, and that you are
waiting here in solitude till he sees well to return. No, if I were you,
he and the world should see that you don’t want him, and that there are
plenty of people dying to fall in love with you. Men never care for
what they can have--at least, so it’s said. But if you leave the thing
to me, I’ll answer for it we will bring him as a beggar to these gates
before many months are over, and he will cry to be let in on any terms!’
"’But I won’t have him on any terms,’ I said. ’Nothing would induce me
to live with him.’
"’Oh! that doesn’t matter at all,’ she replied, ’so long as we bring him
to the door. There is no fun shutting the portal to one who thinks the
place not worth an assault. People never believe in the old maid’s
desire for celibacy, unless she produces her proposals. That is why I
intend to make all my lovers propose by letter; then when I’m an old
maid, I shall have them framed and hung round the room, with photographs
of the best-looking, and incomes of the wealthiest underneath.’
"I have given this conversation rather fully, as it may help you to
understand my friend’s character, and also how the changes in our manner
of life, of which I am going to tell you, came about; for this talk, and
many on the same subject, no doubt influenced me more than I fancied at
the time.
"I was bitterly angry with my husband, and the fact that he had made no
sign of wishing to see me aggravated the feeling. I heard from my
father that he had returned, and pictured him enjoying his life in town.
The idea that he imagined that I was quietly waiting his coming, was
unbearable, and after a little opposition, I eventually adopted the plan
which Amy suggested.
"Somerville is about five miles from the Cathedral City of L----. It is
a gay little place, owing chiefly to the barracks, which are situated
about a mile on our side of the town. The large number of officers
quartered there at this time favoured our plan.
"I left all the arrangements to Amy; her brain was better fitted for the
work, and she wasted no time in setting about her task. She persuaded
my father it was absolutely necessary for his health, that he should
have some congenial company to assist him with the port, and to cheer
him up during his smoke. She showed such pity for his lonely state
that, one evening when I happened to come into the room rather suddenly
I found her kneeling at his side, and if I am not mistaken, she was even
allowing him to give her a fatherly kiss. I don’t remember feeling
envious, but it vexed me, and she evidently noticed that I was annoyed,
for before we parted that night, she said--
"’Your poor old father seemed so overcome when I spoke of his lonely
evenings, that I could not help showing a little sympathy; but I think
I’ve worked it all right. At first he said that he wanted no
change--that he was contented in his present position. That was just
when you came in. But when you left us alone together again, I tried
another plan. I can see he does not like the idea of Lord Vancome
coming back here, so I pointed out that if you were deprived of all
society you would perhaps get tired of this kind of life, and want to
change it. He then questioned me about you, and I incidentally
mentioned that you had recently complained of never seeing any one, and
that you had spoken on more than one occasion of your husband. That
roused him. ’She must have society,’ he said, ’you’re quite right, my
dear. I will see to it. I will ask one or two of the young fellows
over from the barracks. There is Captain Frint, and Major Jackson, both
capital fellows. I’ve played whist with them once or twice at the
Conservative Club in L----.’
"I told her that she was a bad girl, and that she had no right to have
spoken about me in that way; but she only laughed and kissed me, saying
I was a sweet, pretty little innocent, who would turn the heads of fifty
captains. Then she tripped off to her room, humming to herself--
’Where are you going, my pretty maid?’
"I fell asleep trying to answer the question.
"My father kept his word. The next morning he said that if I had no
objection he was going to invite some friends over to dine, so that he
might have a little whist in the evening. On the following Thursday
evening they came: Colonel Collins, Major Jackson, and Captain Frint.
"As soon as Amy and I were alone together in the drawing-room, I asked
her what she thought of the selection.
"’A 1,’ she replied. ’The old Colonel seems a dull old boy, but Captain
Frint will do for you splendidly as a start, while the Major shall be
taken in hand by your humble servant. He looks a bit dangerous; it will
be safer, therefore, if I take the risk, as should he be troublesome, it
is easier for me to slip out of his clutches, but as you live here it
might be awkward. Does the plan suit you?’
"’I don’t know that I quite understand what you mean,’ I replied; ’but I
certainly prefer Captain Frint to the Major, and as for the old Colonel,
he is quite impossible; he wouldn’t make a bridegroom of eighty
jealous!’
"Thus in comparative innocence we set the ball rolling, which was to
carry both of us to the very border of destruction.
"The whist party did not come off that evening. Through the influence of
the younger men, it was turned into a card-game which could include six.
We played for money, and though the stakes were low I was rather
uncomfortable about Amy, as I knew she could ill afford to lose even a
small sum. Fortune, however, favoured her, and she rose from the table
two or three pounds richer for the night’s play; while, chiefly owing to
my ignorance of the game, and a certain recklessness, I was a
considerable loser.
"It was a bright moonlight night, and as my father and the Colonel
seemed anxious to continue playing cards, we left them to try their luck
at piquet, allowing ourselves to be persuaded by the younger men to go
out for a stroll. At first we kept close together, but Amy soon carried
the Major off to show him some view of the waterfall, and I found myself
alone with Captain Frint.
"We walked for some time in silence; my companion seemed absorbed in
thought, and I took the opportunity of studying his face carefully. His
skin, which was clear and pale, in this light looked unnaturally white.
His features were well formed, and finely cut, while the intensity of
shadow added to the effect, giving his face a statuesque coldness and
nobility; his head was uncovered, and I noticed from the first, how
well-shaped was its outline: his forehead, which was naturally broad,
seemed even larger than it really was, as the hair had receded from the
temples. The lower part of the face was disappointing, the jaw too
small, the mouth and chin effeminate.
"I was thus taking stock of my companion, when he turned and our eyes
met.
"’How rude you will think me, Lady Vancome!’ he said; ’the scene here is
so like fairyland, that for a few moments I forgot my own existence,
though conscious of yours. I’m rather given to these fits of
absent-mindedness, which are evidently caused by some defect of the
brain, for if anything interests me, my faculties go to sleep. I was
just wondering whether fancy was not the only reality, and science a
very dull fairy tale, for when our companions disappeared round the
corner, they left me in sole possession of the Garden of Eden.’
"’Had it not been for the inconvenient presence of Eve, whom you were
doubtless trying to forget.’ I said this thoughtlessly; then, seeing
the trap in which I had so easily been caught, I felt a hot blush pass
over me as I continued--’But don’t let me disturb you, Captain Frint. I
would on no account interrupt your pleasant dream, and will join the
others.’
"’Don’t go,’ he said, putting out his hand as though to stop me. ’Eden
without Eve was found too dull for Adam, and I should be deprived even
of his occupation. There are no beasts here to name.’
"’You can let loose your inventive faculty,’ I said, ’and when you have
finished with the animals you can invent Eve. You see, as fancy is the
only reality, there can be no difficulty in the matter.’
"’But even fancy,’ he replied, ’requires inspiration, and if you leave
me, its light will be extinguished. Don’t you know that as it takes two
to quarrel, it takes two for inspiration--the inspirer and the inspired?
Even children don’t care to play alone. Do you not sometimes find it
dull in this lovely home of yours? But I forgot, you have a companion,
and I should fancy a bright and lively one. I suppose, however, that
your husband will soon be back now: I heard that he was suddenly called
away to America shortly after your marriage. It must have been very
annoying to both of you!’
"What could I say? It had never occurred to me before that sooner or
later it would be necessary to explain things. It was quite evident
that whether I did so or not, people would soon hear of my husband’s
return to England. It seemed therefore better to give my own version
rather than allow some worse report to get about, so I answered--
"’I would rather not go into the matter, but perhaps I ought to say that
my marriage was a mistake, and that I think it very improbable that you
will ever see Lord Vancome here!’
"Captain Frint looked at me for a moment, evidently so taken aback that
he was unable to speak. It was quite plain that no report of the scandal
had hitherto reached him. Then his manner changed: the half flippant
tone in which he had before spoken was no longer noticeable as he said--
"’I am very sorry indeed. I had no idea of your trouble, or of course
should not have referred to the subject. I hope you will forgive me.’
"’There is nothing to forgive,’ I said. ’You must have known some time,
and now I shall feel more comfortable when we meet. But do not let
others know what I have told you; for though it is sure to come out,
there is no occasion to make one’s private affairs public while it is
possible to keep them quiet.’
"’You may trust me,’ he answered; ’and I shall always consider it a
favour to be allowed to help you at any time and in any way. You have,
I know, your father, but there are occasions perhaps when a younger man
might be of some service. In any case I hope you will look upon me as
your friend.’
"As he was speaking I heard the sound of laughter, and Amy called out to
know where we were hiding. When she and her companion came up, she
assured us that they had been looking all over the place to find us,
which, considering that we had never moved from the terrace, seemed
rather ridiculous.
"As I was never fond of sleeping alone, I had recently persuaded Amy to
share my room, and this gave us extra time for conversation. As soon as
the maid had left us on this eventful evening, I asked Amy what she
thought of the first result of her scheme.
"’Capital!’ she replied, ’things could not be moving better. Your
father has a companion who suits him, so have I, and from what I could
see you appear to be getting on fairly well.’
"When I told her what had passed, she laughed, saying that I was a born
flirt with all my seeming artlessness, and that to arrive at the Adam
and Eve stage the first evening was fairly good; but to end in private
confidence about my relations with my husband was even better.
"I asked her how she got on with the Major, saying that she seemed
pretty merry on her return.
"’Oh! he’s just delightful!’ she replied, ’but such a humbug! He tried
to talk in epigrams, but as he is not over good at it, and endeavours to
make them complimentary, the result was ludicrous. This is the kind of
thing, you know.’ And she mimicked his voice and rather affected drawl.
’Nature is only natural when cultivated, and in your presence I feel
that woman is only cultivated when natural.--As a girl puts on reserve
she drops refinement.--The sound of gentle laughter is a sign of gentle
breeding; the suggestion of prudery the seal of plutocracy; the coyness
of the lips shows a canker in the life.’ When he got to this point I
thought it best to turn back. On our return journey he perpetrated the
following atrocity--’Two minus two is represented by the circle of
eternal content: two plus two by a right angle which some unkindly fate
has crossed.’
"’The great advantage of this kind of conversation is that you never
have any occasion to understand it unless you like; the worst of the
habit that it sometimes tempts the man to risk a remark which he dare not produce without its swaddling-bands. He must exhaust his brain terribly with the effort, and no doubt this is the reason that those who go in for this kind of affectation often seem so terribly stupid.’" |
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