Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 1

Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 1

Humour, Wit, & Satire of the Seventeenth Century

 

Author: Various

 

=Preface.=

Our forefathers delighted to call their country "Merrie England;" and

so, in very truth, it was. All sorts of sports and pastimes, such as

no other nation can show, were then in use; and even the elders, in

their hours of relaxation, were wont to exchange a merry jest with one

another.

 

Perhaps some of their jokes lacked the refinement of the present age,

but they denoted a keen sense of humour. Many, nay most, cannot

be reproduced at the present day, and much has this book suffered

therefrom; and it is for this reason that the jest-books and ballads

of this century are so little known. Some few have been printed in

small editions, either privately, or for dilettante societies; but

they are not fit for general perusal, and the public at large know

nothing of them. This is specially the case with the ballad literature

of the century, which is unusually rich. The Pepys, Roxburghe,

Bagford, Luttrell, and other collections, are priceless treasures;

but I know no publisher who would be bold enough to reproduce them,

in their entirety, for the use of the general public. By this I do

not wish to cast any slur, either on the modesty, or morality, of our

ancestors; but their ways were not quite as ours.

 

The Bibliographical Reference, which forms an Appendix, will show the

wide range that the humour of this century takes; and this does not

exhaust the store by any means. In it I have given, for the use of

students, the British Museum Catalogue number of every authority (to

save trouble, should they wish to refer to the books); and, to avoid

the multiplicity of footnotes, I have placed against each paragraph a

number, by means of which (on turning to the reference) the work from

which it was taken can at once be seen.

 

Political satire ought to be a work in itself, so that I have but

sparingly used it; and as religious satire hardly comes within the

scope of such a book as this, I have but just glanced at it.

 

In every instance that I have found possible, I have given the tunes

of the ballads, taken from the books in which they first appeared,

such as _The Dancing Master_, and _Wit and Mirth_; also, in two

instances, where I could not thus find them, I have taken them from

_The Ballad Literature and Popular Music of the Olden Time_, by W.

Chappell, Esq., F.S.A.

 

If the perusal of this book gives a tithe part as much pleasure and

amusement to the Reader, as it did to me when compiling it, I am more

than content with my labour.

 

JNO. ASHTON.

 

 

 

 

[Illustration]

 

 

 

 

Humour, Wit, and Satire

of the

Seventeenth Century.

 

 

[1.] There was a man that had been drinking so hard that he could

scarse stand upon his feet, yet at night he would go home, and as he

went through a green Meadow, neer a hedge side the Bryers held him by

the cloaths and the legs, and he had thought that one had holden him,

and would have had him to drink more, and he said, Good fellow, let

me go, by my troth I can drink no more, I have drank so much already,

that I cannot go home; and there he abode all the same night, and on

the morrow went his Ways.

 

 

When _Marcus_ hath Carrowst March beere and sacke, [2.]

And feels his head grow dizzy therwithall.

Then of Tobacco he a pype doth lacke,

Of Trinidade in cane, in leafe, or ball,

Which tane a little he doth Speet and Smacke,

Then layes him on his bed for feare to fall

And on Tobacco layes the blame of all,

But that same pype that Marcus brain did lade

Was of Madera not of Trinidade.

 

 

I had a love, and she was chaste, [3.]

Alack the more's the pity,

But wot you how my love was chaste,

She was chaste right through the City.

 

 

[4.] A Justice of Peace overtaking a Parson upon the Road, between

_London_ and _Bow_, told his Company that he would put a Trick upon

him: and so, coming up to him, said, _Sir, You don't follow your

Master's Rule, for he was content with an Ass, but you have a very

fine Horse_. The Parson replyed, the reason was, because the King had

made so many Asses Justices, that a Clergyman could not get one to

Ride on.

 

 

_On a drawer drunk._

 

Drawer with thee now even is thy wine [5.]

For thou hast pierced his hogs-head, and he thine.

 

 

_Upon the weights of a Clock._

 

I wonder time's so swift, when as I see, [5.]

Upon her heeles such lumps of lead to bee.

 

 

_Nonsense._

 

Oh that my Lungs could bleat like butter'd Pease; [3.]

But bleating of my lungs hath Caught the itch,

And are as mangy as the Irish Seas,

That doth ingender windmills on a Bitch.

 

I grant that Rainbowes being lull'd asleep,

Snort like a woodknife in a Lady's eyes;

Which makes her grieve to see a pudding creep,

For Creeping puddings only please the wise.

 

Not that a hard row'd herring should presume

To swing a tyth pig in a Cateskin purse;

For fear the hailstons which did fall at Rome,

By lesning of the fault should make it worse.

 

For 'tis most certain Winter woolsacks grow

From geese to swans, if men could keep them so,

Till that the sheep shorn Planets gave the hint,

To pickle pancakes in Geneva print.

 

Some men there were that did suppose the skie

Was made of Carbonado'd Antidotes;

But my opinion is, a Whales left eye,

Need not be coyned all King _Harry_ groates.

 

The reason's plain, for Charons Westerne barge

Running a tilt at the subjunctive mood,

Beckoned to Bednal Green, and gave him charge

To fasten padlockes with Antartic food.

 

The end will be the Mill ponds must be laded,

To fish for white pots in a Country dance;

So they that suffered wrong and were upbraded

Shall be made friends in a left handed trance.

 

 

[1.] There was three young men going to Lambeth along by the Water

side, and the one plaid with the other, and they cast each others Cap

into the water, in such sort as they could not get their Caps again:

but over the place where their Caps were, did grow a great old tree,

which did Cover a great deale of the Water. One of them said to the

rest, Sirs, I have found out a notable way to come by them. First I

will make myself fast by the middle, with one of your girdles unto the

tree, and he that is with you shall hang fast upon my girdle, and he

that is last shall take hold on him that holds fast on my girdle, and

so with one of his hands he may take up all our caps and cast them on

the sand. And so they did; but when they thought that they had been

most secure and fast, he that was above felt his girdle slack, and

said, Soft, sirs, my girdle slacketh; make it fast quickly, said they,

but as he was untying it to make it faster they fell all three into

the water, and were well washed for their pains.

 

 

_Of Lynus borrowing._

 

_Lynus_ came late to me sixe crownes to borrow, [6.]

And sware G-- d--- him, hee'd repai't to morrow.

I knew his word as current as his band

And straight I gave to him three crownes in hand;

This I to give, this he to take was willing

And thus he gain'd, and I sav'd fifteene shilling.