Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 35

Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 35

The man halfe dead did stand,

away the Devill hyde,

Then since the world, nor hell,

can well a Scold abide:

To make a saile of ships

let husbands fall to worke,

And give their free consents

to send them to the Turke.

 

Then honest wives and maides,

and widdowes of each sort,

Might live in peace and rest,

and Silence keep her court,

Nor would I have a scold,

one penny here bestow,

But honest men and wives

buy these before you goe.

 

FINIS.

 

Printed at London for Henry Gosson[F. 60] dwelling upon London Bridge.

neare to the Gate.

 

[Footnote 60: Henry Gosson published between 1607 and 1641.]

 

 

He went to the wood and caught it, [32.]

He sate him down and sought it,

Because he could not find it,

Home with him he brought it.

 

_Solution._

 

That is a thorn; for a man went to the wood and caught a thorn in his

foot, and then he sate him down, and sought to have pull'd it out, and

because he could not find it out he must needs bring it home.

 

 

[26.] A rich and covetous Councellor of this Kingdom, that had an only

Child, which was a Daughter and worth £20,000. A young and handsome

Gentleman of good Birth though of no great Fortune; yet had so far

insinuated himself into the young Lady's Favour, that she promis'd him

Marriage, if he could get her Father's Consent. Immediately he comes

for _London_, and goes to her Father, and told him, That he would give

him £10 for a Fee if he could assist him in a business which did much

concern him: which was, That there was a rich young Heiress in town,

which had promised him marriage if it could any way be made good by

Law: Why, says he, let her hire a Horse, and invite you to take her

away, and let her get up before, and you behind that it may not be

said that you rode away with her, but she with you, and let her go to

the Minister, and tell him, 'tis her desire to be married to you, and

to get a Licence accordingly; and when you are married, then be sure

to bed her, and I'll warrant you she's your own. And this, says the

Gentleman, you'll avouch for Law? He told him, Yes. Well Sir, says he,

if you will set your Hand to it, I'll give you Ten Pounds more; which

he did. Immediately he goes into the Country, and shews the young Lady

what was done, and how 'twas done; and she accordingly performed her

promise, and suddenly married and bedded; and having so continued a

week they both came to _London_, and came to her Father, and fell down

upon their knees to him, and craved his Blessing; which made him at

first fly into harsh Language; but the Gentleman said, We have done

nothing but what you avoucht for Law, and have it under your hand. The

Lawyer fearing his Reputation might be brought in question, and seeing

him to be a handsome and well bred Gentleman, and of a good family,

clape both their hands together, and bid God bless them; and then gave

them a subsistence for the present, and made over all to them after

his death.

 

 

Three had a contest [12.]

Which grain was the best;

The first said Wheat had the Quorum

The second stood for Rye

But the third did reply

_Hordea est farra forum_.[F. 61]

 

[Footnote 61: Far afore 'em.]

 

 

_On one in debt._

 

_Don Pedro's_ out of debt; be bold to say it; [14.]

For they are said to owe that mean to pay it.

 

 

[4.] A Gentleman that had never been used to Wounds, received a small

scratch with a Sword in a Tavern Fray; at which he was sadly frighted,

and sent immediately for a Chyrurgeon, who coming, and seeing the

Wound but slight, and the Gentleman in a great fear: for sport's sake

pretended great danger, and therefore sends his Man with great speed

to fetch him such a Plaister: _Why Sir_, quoth the Gentleman, _is the

wound so dangerous?_ _O Yes_, replyed the Arch Chyrurgeon, _for if he

don't make great haste, it will heal of it self, before he comes._

 

 

Scylla _toothlesse_.

 

_Scylla_ is toothlesse; yet when she was young, [24.]

She had both tooth enough, and too much tongue:

What should I now of toothlesse _Scylla_ say?

But that her tongue hath worne her teeth away.

 

 

The extravagances of male attire in Charles the First's time justly

called down the wrath of the Satirists, particularly of the Puritan

School. The Cavaliers, however, were only effeminate in their dress,

their gallant conduct in the Civil war proving them to be men of

mettle. The subjoined is so faithful in its representation of the then

height of fashion as to be almost removed from caricature, still the

letterpress evidently intends it to be a satire as bitter as could be

made by the Roundhead who penned it, who naturally believed in "the

Unlovelinesse of Love Lockes."

 

 

 

 

The

 

=Picture of an English Antick,=

 

with a List of his ridiculous Habits

and apish Gestures.

 

 

_Maids, where are your hearts become? look you what here is!_

 

1. His hat in fashion like a close-stoolepan. [33.]

 

2. Set on the top of his noddle like a coxcombe.

 

3. Banded with a calves tail, and a bunch of riband.

 

4. A feather in his hat, hanging down like a Fox taile.

 

5. Long haire, with ribands tied in it.

 

6. His face spotted.

 

7. His beard on the upper lip, compassing his mouth.

 

8. His chin thrust out, singing as he goes.

 

9. His band lapping over before.

 

10. Great band strings, with a ring tied.

 

11. A long wasted dubblet unbuttoned half way.

 

12. Little skirts.

 

13. His sleeves unbuttoned.

 

14. In one hand a stick, playing with it, in the other his

cloke hanging.

 

15. His breeches unhooked ready to drop off.

 

16. His shirt hanging out.

 

17. His codpeece open tied at the top with a great bunch of riband.

 

18. His belt about his hips.

 

19. His sword swapping betweene his legs like a Monkeys taile.

 

20. Many dozen points at knees.

 

21. Above the points of either side two bunches of riband of

severall colours.

 

22. Boot hose tops, tied about the middle of the Calfe, as

long as a paire of shirt sleeves, double at the ends

like a ruffe band.

 

23. The Tops of his boots very large turned down as low

as his spurs.

 

24. A great paire of spurres, gingling like a Morrice dancer.

 

25. The feet of his boots 2 inches too long.

 

26. Two horns at each end of his foot, stradling as he goes.

 

[Illustration]

 

Nov. 18, 1646.

 

 

One desir'd, being dead, [12.]

To have Hysop round his head,

But Time is better I think;

For you'l find it a crime,

If not buryed in time,

For certain your Corps will stink.