Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 43

Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 43

A merry Jest of _John Tomson_ and _Jakaman_ his Wife

Whose Jealousie was justly the cause of all their strife.

 

 

To the Tune of Pegge of Ramsey.[F. 84]

 

[Illustration]

 

When I was a Batchelour [57.]

I liv'd a merry life,

But now I am a married man,

and troubled with a wife,

I cannot doe as I have done,

because I live in feare,

If I goe but to _Islington_,

my wife is watching there

_Give me my yellow Hose againe_,

_give me my yellow hose;_

_For now my wife she watcheth me_,

_see yonder where she goes_.

 

But when I was a prentice bound,

and my Indentures made:

In many faults I have beene found

yet never thus afraid.

For if I chance now by the way

a woman for to kisse,

The rest are ready for to say

thy Wife shall know of this.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

Thus when I come in company

I passe my mirth in feare,

For one or other merrily,

will say my wife is there.

And then my look doth make them laugh,

to see my wofull case:

How I stand like _John hold my staffe_,

and dare not shew my face.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

There comes a handsome woman in,

and shakes me by the hand:

But how my wife she did begin,

now you shall understand.

Faire dame (quoth she) why dost thou so?

he gave his hand to me:

And thou shalt know before thou go,

he is no man for thee.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

Good wife (quoth she) now doe not scould,

I will doe so no more;

I thought I might have beene so bolde

I knowing him before.

With that my wife was almost mad,

yet many did intreat her;

And I, God knowes, was very sad,

for feare she would have beat her.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

Thus marriage is an enterprise

experience doth show;

But scolding is an exercise,

that married men doe know.

For all this while there was no blowes,

yet still their tongues was talking;

And very fain would yellow hose

have had her fists a walking.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

In comes a neighbour of our towne,

an honest man, God wot:

And he must needes goe sit him downe,

and call in for his pot.

And said to me, I am the man

which gave to you your wife,

And I will doe the best I can,

to mend this wicked life.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

I gave him thankes, and bad him goe,

and so he did indeed,

And told my wife she was a shrow,

but that was more than need.

Saith he, thou hast an honest man,

and one that loves thee well;

Said she, you are a foole, good sir,

It's more than you can tell.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

And yet in truth he loveth me,

but many more beside;

And I may say, good Sir, to thee,

that I cannot abide,

For though he loves me as his life

yet now, sir, wot you what,

They say he loves his neighbours wife,

I pray you how like you that.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

Saith he, I hope I never shall

seeke fancy fond to follow,

For love is lawfull unto all

except it be too yellow.

Which lyeth like the Jaundies so,

in these our Women's faces;

That watch their husbands where they go

and hunt them out in places.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

Now comes my Neighbour's wife apace,

to talke a word or two,

My wife then meets her face to face,

and saith, dame, is it you

That makes so much of my good man,

as if he were your owne?

Then clamp as closely as you can,

I know it will be known.

_Give me my yellow hose &c._

 

Now when I saw the woman gone,

I call'd my wife aside,

And said why art thou such a one,

that thou canst not abide

A woman for to talke with mee,

this is a wofull case,

That I must keepe no company

except you be in place.

_Give me my yellow hose &c._

 

This maketh Batchelers to wooe

so long before they wed,

Because they heare that women now

will be their husband's head.

And seven yeare long I tarried

for Jakaman my wife,

But now that I am married

I am weary of my life.

_Give me my yellow hose &c._

 

For yellow love is too, too bad,

without all wit or policie,

And too much love hath made her mad,

and fill'd her full of Jelousie.

She thinkes I am in love with those

I speake to passing by

That makes her wear the yellow hose

I gave her for to dye.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

But now I see shee is so hot

and lives so much at ease,

I will goe get a Souldiers coate,

and sayle beyond the Seas;

To serve my Captain where and whan,

though it be to my paine,

Thus farewell gentle Jakaman,

till we two meet againe.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._

 

Quoth she, good husband, doe not deale

thus hardly now with me,

And of a truth, I will reveale

my cause of jealousie:

You know I alwaies paid the score,

you put me still in trust,

I saved twenty pound and more,

confesse it needes I must.

_Give me my yellow Hose &c._