The two parties now sit down in a "family circle," and one of the
youth's representatives pushes forward (di-sorongkan) the betel which
they had brought with them, and offers it to the people of the house,
saying, "This is a pledge of your daughter's betrothal." The girl's
father replies, "Be it so, I accept it," or words to that effect,
and inquires how long the engagement is to last, the answer being
"six months" or "a year" as the case may be. Both parties then appeal
to the witnesses to "hear what is said," and the youth's relatives
return to their homes.
The marriage portion being fixed (in Selangor) by an almost universal
custom at two bharas of dollars ($44), the amount is not usually
mentioned at the betrothal, it being understood that the usual
amount is intended. But if the girl's parents should afterwards prove
reluctant to proceed with the match, they forfeit twice the amount
of the pledge-money which they have received; whereas if the youth
refuses to proceed he merely forfeits the pledge-money ($11) already
paid to the girl's parents. Some families pay a marriage portion of
$30 only, and others (such as the family of 'Toh Kaya Kechil of Klang)
pay as much as $50, but exceptions are rare, $44 being now generally
recognised as the customary wedding portion.
However, the girl's family does not really receive anything like the
full value of the $44, because if the $44 is paid in full the proposer
has a right to demand a complete outfit (persalinan) of silk attire,
to the value of about $20, so that the amount which actually changes
hands is seldom more than about $24.
The Malay fiancee, unlike her European sister, is at the utmost
pains to keep out of her lover's way, and to attain this object she
is said to be "as watchful as a tiger." No engagement-ring is used in
this neighbourhood, no priest (or Lebai) is present at the engagement
ceremony, nor is the girl asked for her consent. On the other hand,
a regular system of exchanging presents, after the engagement, is
said to have been formerly in vogue in Selangor, the man sending
betel-leaf, fruit, and eggs to his fiancee from time to time in
net-work receptacles, and the woman sending specially prepared rice,
etc. in rush-work receptacles of various patterns. It is said, too,
that the woman would occasionally carve a chain, consisting of three
or four links, out of a single areca-nut, in which case the prospective
bridegroom was supposed to redeem it by the payment of as many dollars
as there were links. The betel-nut presented on these occasions would
be wrapped up in a gradation of three beautifully worked cloths, not
unlike "D'oyleys" in general appearance, whilst the actual engagement
ceremony in former days is said to have received additional interest
and formality from the recital of verses appropriate to the occasion
by chosen representatives of each party. Specimens of the betrothal
verses formerly used in Selangor will be found in the Appendix. The
following is a translation:--
"Q. Small is my cottage, but it has five shelves
For roasting the kerisi fish;
Hearken, good people, whilst I inquire of you
What is the price of your Diamond [604] here?
A. Your fishing-line must be five fathoms long
If you would catch the tenggiri fish;
Seven tahils, a kati, and five laksa, [605]
That is the price of our Diamond here.
Q. If there are no rengas trees growing on the Point,
One must go up-stream and cut down a screw-palm;
If one has not gold in one's girdle,
One must make over one's person to begin with.
A. If there are no rengas trees growing on the Point,
You must take banyan-wood for the sides of your trays;
If you have no gold in your girdle,
You need not hope to get Somebody's daughter.
Q. Thousands are the supports required
For the stem of the sago-palm to recline upon; [606]
Though it be thousands I would accept the debt
So I be betrothed to Somebody's daughter.
A. My head-kerchief has fallen into the sea,
And with it has fallen my oar-ring; [607]
I stretch out my hand in token of acceptance,
Though I have naught wherewith to requite you.
Q. Oar-ring or no,
The lenggundi bush grows apace in the thatch channels.
Whether it is well to go slowly or no,
It is the favour you have shown me that subdues my heart."
If, however, there is a hitch in the proceedings, and the parties
commence to lose their temper, the stanzas may end very differently;
for instance, the girl's father or representative will say:--
"A. My lord has gone up-stream
To get his clothes and wash out the dye. [608]
If that is all, let it alone for the present;
If there is anything else you will always find me ready.
Q. 'Che Dol Amat's mango-tree
When it fell rolled into the swamp.
If I cannot get what I want by peaceful means,
Look that you be not hit in the war of strategy.
A. If the rim is not properly fitted to the rice-box, [609]
Let us get saffron-rice and roast a fowl.
If I cannot get you to make acknowledgment,
Let Heaven reel and Earth be submerged."
These last two lines constitute a direct challenge, and no more words
need be wasted when once they have been uttered.
6. MARRIAGE
When the term of betrothal is drawing to its close, a suitable day
(which is frequently a Tuesday) is chosen for the work of decoration
(bergantong-gantong) by the parents of both parties, and notified to
the relations and friends who wish to assist in the preparations for
the wedding. [610]
Both houses are decorated with vertically striped hangings (p'lang
tabir) and ornamental ceiling-cloths (langit-langit), and mats, rugs,
carpets, etc. are laid down. In the bridegroom's house little is done
beyond erecting a small platform or dais (petarana) about six feet
square, and raised about ten inches from the floor, upon which he is
to don his wedding garments when he sets out to meet the bride. A
similar platform (petarana) is erected in the bride's house, and a
low dais called rambat in front of her door, at the outer corners of
which are fixed two standard candlesticks (tiang rambat), which are
sometimes as much as six feet high, and each of which carries three
candles, one in the centre and one on each side, those at the side
being supported by ornamental brackets (sulor bayong). The rambat
may measure some 14 feet in length by 5 feet in width, and should be
about 14 inches in height.
A dais (with two steps to it) is then built as follows, generally
opposite the doorway, but standing a little way back from it, and
facing the rambat, so as to leave a narrow passage (tela kechil)
between the threshold and the dais, which latter is decked with
scarlet, or at least scarlet-bordered cloth (kain berumpok dengan
sakalat). The lower step of the dais (ibu g'rei) is raised about 12
inches from the floor, and measures from 10 feet to 12 feet in length
by 8 feet in width. The upper step (g'rei penapah) is a little smaller,
and is only raised about 10 inches above the lower one. The top of
the dais is covered with a mattress, and both steps are decorated
with expensive borders, which at the wedding of a Raja are made of
embossed gold or silver, and may easily cost as much as $150 each,
or even more. The mattress is covered in its turn with a quilt (lihap
or pelampap), made of coloured silk stuffed with cotton; upon this
quilt is laid a white cotton sheet, and the whole is surmounted by
a row of colossal "pillows" (of the size of small packing-cases),
surmounted by others of moderate size.
A mosquito-curtain is hung over all, and the completed couch is called
pelamin. The head of the pelamin, it must be added, where the pillows
are piled, is always on the left-hand side as you look towards it.
The number of the pillows used is of the highest importance, as
indicating the rank of the contracting parties. The larger ones
are about 5 feet in length and 2 feet in height by 1 1/2 feet in
width. They are covered with rich embroidery at the exposed end,
and are arranged in a horizontal row (sa-tunda), with their sides
just touching, in the front left-hand corner of the mosquito-curtain,
so as to leave a clear passage of about 3 feet behind them (at the
back of the curtain) by which the bride and bridegroom may escape to
the peraduan after the ceremony. These big pillows are white, with
the exception of the embroidered ends, unless they are intended for
a Raja, when the royal colour (yellow) is of course substituted. The
one nearest the centre of the couch is called bantal tumpu, and usually
has a hexagonal or (in the case of a Raja) octagonal bolster deposited
beside it.
The smaller pillows are red (occasionally purple, ungu, or orange,
jingga), and are called the "embroidered pillows" (bantal bertekat,
or bantal p'rada). Occasionally a set of twelve small pillows is
used (when they are called bantal dua-b'las, or the Twelve Pillows),
but often there is only one of them to each "Big Pillow," the set
of twelve being said to be an innovation, probably introduced from
Malacca. Sometimes, however, when many small pillows are piled upon
each other, measures have to be taken to keep them from falling,
in which case the space between the piles is said to be filled up
with wool or cotton stuffing (penyelat), the front being covered with
embroidered cloth, the upper border of which is carried up diagonally
from the top of one pile to the top of the next.
As regards the permissible number of big pillows, according to a scale
in use at Klang, the common people are allowed three big pillows
(including the bantal tumpu); a wealthy man, four; and a Headman,
such as the 'Toh Kaya Kechil, five; a Raja being presumably allowed
one or two more. According to this scale it is only the big pillows
that are of importance, [611] and the people are allowed to use as
few or as many small ones as they like. The topmost small pillow,
however, is always triangular, and is called gunong-gunongan.
The mosquito-curtain (enclosing the couch on which the pillows rest)
of course varies in size according to the dimensions of the pelamin,
but may be roughly taken to be from 7 to 9 hasta [612] in length,
by 8 ft. in width, and 4 ft. to 5 ft. in height (reaching to the
ceiling-cloth). Its upper edges (kansor) are stiffened externally with
a square frame, consisting of four bamboo rods (galah k'lambu), and
it is decorated in front with a beautifully embroidered fringe called
"Bo-tree leaves" (daun budi). The front of this mosquito-curtain is
rolled up [613] to within 2 or 3 ft. of the top, instead of being drawn
aside as usual. At the back of the curtain is suspended, except in
the case of a Raja's wedding, a bamboo clothes-rod (buluh sangkutkan
kain). This rod terminates at each extremity in an ornamental piece
of scroll-work (sulor bayong) covered with scarlet cloth, which is
sometimes made to issue from a short stem of horn or ivory, and has
a wooden collar called dulang-dulang. This dulang-dulang, moreover,
is sometimes provided with small hollows ('mbat-'mbat) at the top,
two in front which are filled with rose-water or perfume (ayer mawar
or ayer wangi), and two at the back which are filled with flowers.
Above the clothes-rod, and between its suspending cords (tali
penggantong)--which, by the way, are also covered with scarlet
cloth--an inner fringe of "Bo-leaves" (daun budi dalam) is sometimes
added at the top of the curtain.
At the wedding of a Raja nothing else should be put inside the curtain,
but at an ordinary wedding a few small articles of typical marriage
furniture are usually added as follows:--
Three or four small clothes boxes (saharah), such as are kept by every
Malay family, and peti kapor (boxes whose corners are strengthened
and decorated with brass) are ranged upon the mattress just below the
clothes-rod. Upon these should be placed (a) the bangking, which is a
kind of jar or urn of lacquered wood, ranging from about half a foot
to a foot in height, and contains a portion of the bride's wardrobe;
and (b) the bun, [614] which is either octagonal (pechah d'lapan),
or hexagonal (pechah anam), as the case may be, and which may be
described as a box of tin, or sometimes of lacquered wood, whose
contents are as follows:--(1) a couple of combs (sikat dua bilah), one
with large and one with small teeth; (2) a small cup or saucer of hair
oil (a preparation of cocoa-nut oil), or attar of roses (minyak attar),
or pomatum (kateneh); (3) a small pen-knife for paring the nails; (4)
a pair of scissors; (5) a preparation of antimony (chelak), which is
a sort of black ointment applied by the Malays to the inside edge of
the eyelids; and (6) a Malay work-box (called dulang in Selangor and
bintang at Malacca), which is a circular box of painted or lacquered
wood, furnished with a lid, and containing needles, cotton, and the
rest of the Malay housewife's paraphernalia.
Near the door of the curtain is placed an earthenware water-jar,
called gelok (gelok Kedah and gelok Perak are the usual "makes"); this
jar stands upon a small brass or earthenware plate with high sides
(bokor), and its mouth is covered with a brass or earthenware saucer
(chepir), on which is laid the brass or earthenware bowl (penchedok
ayer or batil) which is used for scooping up water from the water-jar,
and which, when it is in use, is temporarily replaced by an ornamental
cap woven from strips of screw-palm leaves. A couple of candlesticks
placed near the water-jar, a betel tray (tepah or puan), a basin
(batil besar) for washing off the lees of henna, and a "cuspadore"
(ketor), all of which are placed inside the curtain, complete the
preparations for this portion of the ceremony.
The day concludes, as far as the workers are concerned, with a meal
in which all who have assisted in the preparations take part, and
this is followed by various diversions dear to Malays, such as the
chanting of passages from the Koran. [615]
At a royal wedding, either the "Story of 'Che Megat" ('Che Megat
Mantri), or a royal cock-fight (main denok), or a performance by
dancing girls or fencers (pedikir), may be substituted for these more
devotional exercises.
These performances (whatever they may be) are kept up (with intervals
for rest and refreshment) till four or five in the morning, when the
guests disperse to their respective homes to sleep off the night's
fatigue.
Whilst the games are progressing (at about nine or ten P.M.) the first
staining of the finger-nails of the bride and bridegroom is commenced,
the ceremony on this occasion being conducted in the seclusion of
the inner apartments, and hence called the "Stolen Henna-staining"
(berhinei churi). Leaves of henna are taken and pounded together with a
small piece of charcoal, and the "mash" is applied to the finger-nails
of both hands (with the exception of the middle or "Devil's finger,"
jari hantu). The centre of each palm is also touched with the dye,
the area stained being as much as would be covered by a dollar. A line
(of a finger's breadth) is also said to be drawn along the inner side
of the sole of each foot, from the great toe to the heel (hinei kaus).
A couple of what we should call "pages," of about ten years of age,
are seated right and left of the bridegroom, and are called Pengapit.
The bride usually provides herself with one or more girl companions;
but these are supposed to "hide themselves" when there is company,
their place being taken by more staid duennas, who are called Tukang
Andam (i.e. "coiffeurs"), and a personal attendant or nurse, called
Ma'inang (Mak Inang), who appears to act as a sort of Mistress of
the Ceremonies.
The second day is spent by the guests (as was said above) in sleeping
off their night's fatigue, and they do not reassemble till evening,
at about five P.M.
When the last has arrived (at about seven P.M.) a meal is served,
and at about half-past eight the games recommence; but after a round
or so (zikir sa-jurus), say at about ten P.M., the bride at her house
and bridegroom at his respectively make their first appearance in
public, clad in their wedding garments, for the ceremony of staining
the finger-nails, this time in public. When they are seated (between
the two candlesticks, which are lighted to facilitate the operation)
a tray is brought forward, furnished with the usual accessories
of Malay magic, rice-paste (tepong tawar), washed rice, "saffron"
rice, and parched rice, to which is added, in this instance, a sort
of pudding of the pounded henna-leaves. A censer is next produced,
and a brass tray with a foot to it (called semb'rip) is loaded with
nasi berhinei (pulut or "glutinous" rice stained with saffron), in
which are planted some ten to fifteen purple eggs (dyed with a mixture
of brazil wood (sepang) and lime, and stuck upon ornamental sprays
of bamboo decorated with coloured paper). The bride (or bridegroom)
is then seated in a "begging" attitude, with the hands resting upon a
cushion placed in the lap; the first of the guests then takes a pinch
of incense from the tray and burns it in the brazier (tempat bara);
next he takes a pinch of parched rice, a pinch of newly-washed rice,
and a pinch of saffron rice, and, squeezing them together in the right
fist, fumigates them by holding them for a moment over the burning
incense, and then throws them towards the sitter, first towards the
right, then towards the left, and finally into the sitter's lap.
The "Neutralising Paste" [616] is then brought and the usual leaf-brush
dipped into the bowl of paste, with which the forehead of the sitter
and the back of each hand are duly "painted."
A pinch of the henna is then taken and dabbed upon the centre of
each palm, the hands of the sitter being turned over to enable this
to be done.
The sitter then salutes the guest by raising his (or her) hands with
the palms together before the breast in an attitude of prayer; the
guest replies by a similar action, and the ceremony is at an end.
The same operation is performed by from five to seven, or even nine,
relations (Orang Waris, lit. "Heirs,") the last operator concluding
with an Arabic prayer.
While this ceremony is proceeding inside, music strikes up and
a special dance, called the Henna Dance (menari hinei), [617] is
performed, a picturesque feature of which is a small cake of henna,
which is contained in a brazen cup (gompong hinei) and surrounded
by candles. This cup is carried by the dancer, [618] who has to keep
turning it over and over without letting the candles be extinguished
by the wind arising from the rapid motion.
The step, which is a special one, is called the "Henna-dance Step"
(Langkah tar' hinei, i.e. tari hinei), and the tune is called the
"Henna-staining tune" (Lagu berhinei).
This ceremony over, the "henna-staining" rice (nasi berhinei) is
partaken of by those present, the remainder being distributed to the
guests engaged in "main zikir."
On the third night the same ceremonies are repeated without variation.
On the fourth morning, called the "Concluding Day" (Hari Langsong),
everybody puts on his finest apparel and jewellery.
The bride's hair is done up in a roll (sanggul) and this is surmounted
with a head-dress of artificial flowers (called g'rak gempa), cut
out of p'rada kresek ("crackling tinsel") and raised on fine wires;
her forehead is bound with a band or fillet of tinsel--gold-leaf
(p'rada Siam) being used by the rich--which is called tekan kundei,
and is carried round by the fringe of the hair (gigi rambut) down
to the top of each ear (pelipis) [619]; for the rest the bride is
clad in a "wedding jacket" (baju pengantin), which has tight-fitting
sleeves extending down to the wrist, or sleeves with gathers (simak)
over the arm, and which is generally made of "flowered satin" (siten
berbunga) in the case of the rich, or of cloth dyed red with kasumba
[620] (kain kasumba) in the case of the poorer classes. This "wedding
jacket" fits tightly round the neck, has a gold border (pendepun 'mas),
is fastened with two or three gold buttons, and fits closely to the
person; the wealthy add a necklace or crescent-shaped breast-ornament
(rantei merjan or dokoh) round the bride's neck. She also wears
bracelets (g'lang) and ear-rings (subang) and perhaps anklets,
of five different metals (keronchong panchalogam). A silk sarong,
which takes the place of a skirt, and is girt about the waist with
a waist-cord (but not usually, in Southern Selangor, fastened with
belt and buckle), and a pair of silk trousers, complete her attire.
The groom, on the other hand, is clad in his best jacket and
trousers, with the Malay skirt (sarong), fastened at the side,
and girt above the knee (kain kembang). His head is adorned with
the sigar, a peculiar head-dress of red cloth arranged turbanwise,
with a peak on the right-hand side, from which artificial flowers
(gunjei) depend, and which preserves its shape through being stuffed
with cotton-wool. Its border is decorated with tinsel, and it has a
gold fringe (kida-kida). Besides this head-dress the bridegroom has
a small bunch of artificial flowers (sunting-sunting) stuck behind
each ear, whilst two similar bunches are stuck in the head-dress
(one on the right and the other on the left).
Bridegrooms, however, who belong to the richer classes wear what is
called a lester (=destar?), whilst former Sultans of Selangor are
said to have worn a gold cap (songkok leleng), which is reputed to
have contained eighteen bongkal [621] (or bungkal) of gold.
The remainder of the company are of course merely dressed in their
best clothes.
The "Rice of the Presence" (nasi adap-adap) is now prepared for what is
called the astakona or setakona, which may be described as a framework
with an octagonal ground-plan, built in three tiers, and made of pulai
or meranti or other light wood; it has a small mast (tiang) planted
in the centre, with cross pieces (palang-palang) in each of the upper
stories to keep it in its place; the framework is supported by four
corner-posts, on which it is raised about a foot and a half from the
floor. The box thus formed is filled to the top with "saffron rice"
(nasi kunyit), and in the rice at the top are planted the aforesaid
coloured eggs. Into a hole at the top of the mast is fitted the end
of a short rattan or cane, which is split into four branches, each
of which again is split into three twigs, whilst on the end of each
twig is stuck one of the coloured eggs (telor joran), an artificial
flower, and an ornamental streamer of red paper called layer, [622]
which is cut into all sorts of artistic and picturesque patterns.
The setakona is erected in front of the pelamin, on which the bride
takes her seat at about 4 P.M. to await the coming of the bridegroom,
the members of her own bridal party, including the Muhammadan priest
or Imam, continuing the zikir maulud in the reception room at frequent
intervals from 9 A.M. until the bridegroom's arrival. The arrangements
are completed by placing ready for the bridegroom the "Bridal Mat"
(lapik nikah), which consists of a mat of screw-palm leaves (or in
the case of a Raja, a small quilt, embroidered in the manner called
jong sarat) five cubits of white cloth, which are rolled up and put
on one side, and a tray of betel.
Returning to the bridegroom, holy water (ayer sembahyang) is now
fetched in a cherek (a kettle-shaped vessel) or bucket, for the
bridegroom to wash his face and hands, and he then proceeds to put
on his wedding garments, as described above, after which a scarf
(salendang) is slung across his shoulder. The marriage procession
(perarakan) then sets out, the women heading it (penganjor) and the
men following, the bridegroom carried upon somebody's shoulders
(di-sompoh), and right and left the musicians beating drums,
tabors, etc., whilst those who have any skill amuse the company with
exhibitions of Malay fencing (main silat) and dancing, etc., to the
accompaniment of the zikir intoned by their companions.
The arrival of the bridegroom at the bride's house is the signal for
a mimic conflict for the person of the bride, which is called melawa,
and is strangely reminiscent of similar customs which formerly obtained
in Europe.
In some cases a rope or piece of red cloth would be stretched
across the path to bar the progress of the bridegroom's party, and
a stout enough resistance would be offered by the defenders until
the bridegroom consented to pay a fine which formerly amounted, it
is said, to as much as $20, though not more than $3 or $4 would now
be asked. Occasionally the bridegroom would pay the fine by pulling
the ring off his finger and handing it to the bride's relations, but
the ceremony would not unfrequently end in a free fight. Verses were
recited on these occasions, of which a few stanzas will be found in
the Appendix. [623]
On arriving at the door the musicians strike up their liveliest tune,
and as the bridegroom is carried up the steps he has to force his way
through an Amazonian force consisting of the ladies of the bride's
party, who assemble to repel the invader from the threshold. A
well-directed fire is maintained by others, who pour upon the foe
over the heads of the defenders repeated volleys of saffron rice (or,
at a royal wedding, ambor-ambor--i.e. clippings from a thin sheet of
silver or gold which are thrown among the crowd as largess).
Meanwhile the bridegroom persists until his efforts are crowned with
success, and he makes his way (assisted possibly by some well-meant act
of treachery on the part of the garrison) to the reception room, when
the mat already referred to is unrolled and the white cloth suspended
over it. Here the bridegroom takes his seat and the priest comes out
to perform the wedding ceremony. [624] This, strangely enough, is
performed with the bridegroom alone, the priest saying to him in the
presence of three or four witnesses and his surety (wali), generally
his father, "I wed you, A., to B., daughter of C., for a portion of
two bharas." To this the bridegroom has to respond without allowing an
interval, "I accept this marriage with B., for a portion of two bharas"
(or one bhara if one of the parties has been married before). Even
this short sentence, however, is a great deal too much for the nerves
of some Malay bridegrooms, who have been known to spend a couple of
hours in abortive attempts before they could get the Imam to "pass"
it. As soon, however, as this obstacle has been surmounted, the priest
asks those present if they will bear witness to its correctness,
and on their replying in the affirmative, it is followed by the
"bacha salawat," which consists of repeated shouts from the company
of "Peace be with thee." This part of the ceremony completed, one
of the brothers or near relations of the bridegroom leads him into
the bridal chamber, and seats him in the usual cross-legged position
on the left side of the bride, who sits with her feet tucked up on
his right. Even the process of seating the couple (bersanding) is a
very fatiguing one; each of them has to bend the knees slowly until
a sitting posture is reached, and then return to a standing posture
by slowly straightening the knees, a gymnastic exercise which has to
be repeated thrice, and which requires the assistance of friends. [625]
The seating having been accomplished, friends put in the right hands
of bride and bridegroom respectively handfuls of rice taken from
the nasi setakona; with this the two feed each other simultaneously,
each of them reaching out the hand containing the rice to the other's
mouth. (This part of the ceremony is often made the occasion for
a race.)
The bridegroom is then carried off by his friends to the outer chamber,
where he has to pay his respects (minta' ma`af, lit. "ask pardon") to
the company, after which he is carried back to his old post, the bride
in the meantime having moved off a little in the mosquito curtain.
The sweetmeats are then brought and handed round, the setakona is
broken up, and the bundles of rice wrapped in plantain leaves which
it contains distributed to the company as largess or berkat. Each
of the company gets one of the telor chachak, the telor joran being
reserved for the Imam and any person of high rank who may attend,
e.g. a Raja. [626]
This completes the wedding ceremony, but the bridegroom is nominally
expected to remain under the roof (and eye) of his mother-in-law for
about two years (reduced to forty-four days in the case of "royalty"),
after which he may be allowed to remove to a house of his own. No
Kathi [627] was present until quite recently at marriages in Selangor,
nor has it in the past been the practice, so far as I could find out,
for him to attend. Sir S. Raffles gives as part of the formula used
in Java:--"If you travel at sea for a year, or ashore for six months,
without sending either money or message to your wife, she will complain
to the judge and obtain one talak (the preliminary stage of divorce),"
and this condition should, strictly speaking, be included in the Malay
formula. It is now growing obsolete, but was in former days repeated
first by the priest, and then by the bridegroom after him. The marriage
portion (isi kahwin, Arabic mahar) is here generally called b'lanja
kahwin or mas kahwin. [628] No wedding-ring should, strictly, be given.
For three days lustrations are continued by the newly-married pair, but
before they are completed, and as soon as possible after the wedding,
friends and acquaintances once more put on their finery, and proceed
to the house to pay their respects, to bathe, and to receive largess.
On the third day after the hari langsong there is a very curious
ceremony called mandi tolak bala, or mandi ayer salamat (bathing for
good luck).
On the night in question the relatives of the bridegroom assemble
under cover of the darkness and make a bonfire under the house of the
newly-married couple by collecting and burning rubbish; into the fire
thus kindled they throw cocoa-nut husks and pepper, or anything likely
to make it unpleasant for those within, and presently raise such a
smoke that the bridegroom comes hastily down the steps, ostensibly
to see what is the matter, but as soon as he makes his appearance, he
is seized by his relatives and carried off bodily to his own parents'
house; these proceedings being known as the stealing of the bridegroom
(churi pengantin). Next day there is a grand procession to escort him
back to the house of his bride, which he reaches about one o'clock
in the afternoon, the processionists carrying "Rice of the Presence"
(nasi adap-adap) with the eggs stuck into it as on the last day of
the wedding, two sorts of holy water in pitchers, called respectively
ayer salamat (water of good luck), and ayer tolak bala (water to
avert ill-luck), vases of flowers (gumba) containing blossom-spikes
of the cocoa-nut and areca-nut palms, and young cocoa-nut leaves
rudely plaited into the semblance of spikes of palm-blossom, k'risses,
etc. etc., together with a large number of rude syringes manufactured
from joints of bamboo, and called panah ayer, or "water-bows."
A set of similar objects (including nasi adap-adap), is prepared by
the relatives of the bride, and deposited upon the ground in the place
selected for the bathing ceremony. A bench being added for the bride
and bridegroom to sit upon, the ceremony commences with the customary
rite of tepong tawar, after which the two kinds of holy water, ayer
tolak bala and ayer salamat, are successively thrown over the pair.
Now, according to the proper custom, during the proceedings which
follow, all the bride's relatives should surround the bride's seat,
and the bridegroom's relatives should stand at a distance; but, in
order to save themselves from a wetting, the women of both parties
now usually assemble round the bride and bridegroom, where they are
protected by a sheet which is hung between them and the men; for all
the young men now proceed to discharge their "water arrows," and as
they are stopped by the sheet they proceed to turn their syringes
against each other, until all are thoroughly wetted.
Meanwhile a young cocoa-nut frond, twisted into a slip-knot with
V-shaped ends (something like the "merry thought" of a fowl), is
presented to the bride and bridegroom, each of whom takes hold of
one end, and blowing on it (sembor) thrice, pulls it till it comes
undone, and the lepas-lepas rite is concluded. Finally, a girdle
of thread is passed seven times over the heads and under the feet
of the bride and bridegroom, when the bridegroom breaks through
the thread and they are all free to return homewards. This latter
ceremony is called 'lat-'lat. The guests then return to their homes,
divest themselves of their wet garments, and put on their wedding
attire. The bersuap-suapan, or feeding ceremony, is then performed
(both vessels of adap-adap rice being used), and then all parties
disperse for the usual games. Seven days after the "Concluding Day"
(Hari Langsong), the ceremony of Discarding the Earrings (i.e. subang,
the emblems of virginity) is performed by the bride.
Raja Bot of Selangor, who attaches great importance to the lustration
ceremony, and says that it ought not to take place later than the
seventh day (at a Raja's wedding), thus describes the full ceremony
as once arranged by himself:--A small bath-house was built at the top
of a flight of seven steps, and water was pumped up to it through a
pipe, whose upper end was made fast under the roof of the shed, and
terminated in the head of a dragon (naga), from whose jaws the water
spouted. The steps were completely lined with women, of whom there
must have been an immense number (no men being allowed to be present),
and the Raja and his bride bathed before them. A royal bath-house
of this kind is called balei pancha persada, and should be used not
only at "royal" weddings, but at coronations (waktu di-naubatkan);
it is described in the following lines:--
"Naik balei pancha persada
Di-hadap uleh sagala Biduanda,
Dudok semaiam dengan bertakhta.
Mandi ayer yang kaluar di mulut Naga"--
which may be translated:--
"Ascend to the Royal Bath-House
In the presence of all your courtiers,
Take your seat in royal state,
And bathe in the water that flows from the Dragon's Mouth."
It must not be supposed that, with such a mass of detail, many things
may not have been overlooked, but it may be remarked as some sort of a
practical conclusion to this account, that the Malay wedding ceremony,
even as carried out by the poorer classes, shows that the contracting
parties are treated as royalty, that is to say, as sacred human beings,
and if any further proof is required, in addition to the evidence
which may be drawn from the general character of the ceremony, I may
mention, firstly, the fact that the bride and bridegroom are actually
called Raja Sari, (i.e. Raja sa-hari, the "sovereigns of a day");
and, secondly, that it is a polite fiction that no command of theirs,
during their one day of sovereignty, may be disobeyed.
I will now give accounts of two Malay weddings which took place at
Klang: both accounts were composed by respectable Malays, the first
one being translated by Mr. Douglas Campbell of Selangor, and the
second by the present writer:--
"The following account of the ceremonies connected with the marriage
of Siti Meriam, a daughter of the Orang Kaya Badu, [629] of Selangor,
to Wan Mahamed Esa, a son of Datoh Mentri [630] Ibrahim of Perak,
has been furnished by a Malay contributor, Haji Karrim, and in
translating it into English an endeavour has been made to follow,
as far as possible, the style of the native writer.
"On Monday, the 1st of August, the house was prepared and the hangings
and curtains put up, and on that evening the ceremony of dyeing the
fingers of the bridegroom with henna was performed for the first
time. Then there were readings from the Koran, with much beating of
drums and kettledrums and Malay dances, and when this had gone on for
some time, supper was served to all the men present in the balei,
or separate hall, and to the women in the house adjoining. Supper
over, readings from the Koran and beating of drums were continued
till daylight.
"On Tuesday evening the dyeing of the fingers of the bridegroom was
performed for the second time, as on the preceding evening.
"The third occasion of dyeing the fingers of the bridegroom took place
on Wednesday evening, but with much more ceremony than previously. The
bridegroom, after being dressed in silks and cloth of gold, was paraded
in an open carriage. On each side of him was seated a groom'sman
shading him with a fan, and behind, holding an umbrella over him,
was another. And thus, with many followers beating drums and singing,
and with the Royal sireh [631]-box, on which are seated the dragons
known as naga pura and naga taru, and with two Royal spears carried
before him and two behind, the bridegroom was taken through the streets
in procession. On arriving at the bride's house he was received with
showers of rose-water, and then conveyed by the elders to the raised
dais on which the bride and bridegroom awaited their friends.
"The bridegroom being seated, fourteen of the elders came forward
and dyed his fingers with henna, and afterwards others, who were
clever at this, followed their example. While this was going on there
was much beating of gongs and drums, and then the same process of
dyeing was repeated on the bride by women. Next the Imam came, and,
after stating that the dowry was $100 cash, heard Wan Mahamed Esa
publicly receive Siti Meriam as his wife, whereupon the Bilal [632]
read a prayer and afterwards pronounced a blessing.
"Supper was then served to all the guests present as before, the men
having their meal in the balei and the women in the house adjoining,
and singing and dancing was kept up until daylight.
"On Thursday afternoon the bride, dressed in her best, with her
father and relations, received the Resident, who was accompanied by
Mrs. Birch, the Senior District Officer and Mrs. Turney, Captain and
Mrs. Syers, Mr. Edwards, and many other ladies and gentlemen. Cakes
and preserves were served, of which the ladies and gentlemen present
partook. Then the bridegroom arrived, seated in an open carriage with
a groom'sman on each side of him, while one, carrying the Royal silk
umbrella, kindly lent by H.H. the Sultan, went before him.
"The procession was headed by one of the Royal spears, and two
more were carried before the bridegroom and two behind him, and so,
accompanied by the Selangor Band, kindly lent by the Resident, and
by a crowd of people singing and beating gongs and drums, he was
conveyed to the bride's house. His arrival was greeted with showers
of rice, and he was seated, together with the bride, on the dais,
where they, with the assistance of Mr. and Mrs. Birch, helped each
other to partake of yellow rice.
"So the marriage was completed satisfactorily, and then, as it
was evening, the Resident and Mrs. Birch, and the other ladies and
gentlemen present, returned to Kuala Lumpur; the people who remained
amusing themselves with dagger dances (main dabus).
"On Friday evening the bride and bridegroom left for Jugra in the
Esmeralda, which had been lent by the Resident, to pay their respects
to H.H. the Sultan, returning to Klang on Saturday.
"On the same afternoon the ceremony of the bath was performed, to
the great satisfaction of every one present, and was kept up till
six o'clock, by which time every one was wet through.
"This was the last ceremony in connection with the marriage, and then
every one wished the bride and bridegroom much happiness." [633]
The following account was translated by the writer:--
"Preparations for the wedding of Inche Halimah, daughter of Sheikh
`Abdul Mohit Baktal, and Said `Abdul Rahman Al Jafri, commenced on
Monday, the 2nd of August 1895.
"The mosquito-curtain, tapestries and canopies were suspended,
and decorations, including the marriage furniture (peti betuah dan
bangking), arranged. Moreover, the bridal couch was adorned with
decorations of gold and mattresses raised one above the other,
one with a facing of gold and the other with a facing of silver,
and four pillows with gold facings, and five piled-up pillows with
silver facings; and the kitchen apparatus was got ready, including
ten pans and coppers of the largest size, and the sheds for those
who were to cook rice and the meats eaten therewith. On this day,
moreover, a buffalo was sent by Towkay Teck Chong, with the full
accompaniments of music, and so forth.
"On Tuesday, the 3rd day of the month, took place the first
Henna-staining, the bride being led forth by her Coiffeur and seated
upon the marriage throne. And the bride seated herself against the
large pillow, which is called 'The Pillow against which One Rests,'
or bantal saraga. And towards evening all the relatives on the woman's
side sprinkled the tepong tawar (upon the forehead and hands of the
bride), and after the Henna-staining, dishes of confectionery and
preserved fruits were offered to all the guests who were present in
the reception-room.
"And on the 3rd [634] day of the month there took place in like
manner the second Henna-staining. And on the 5th day of the month
took place the Private Henna-staining (berhinei churi); the bride's
hair being dressed after the fashion known as Sanggul Lintang, and
further adorned with ornaments of gold and diamonds to the value
of about $5000. And after this Henna-staining all persons present
descended to the rooms below, where fencing and dagger dances, and
music and dancing were kept up at pleasure.
"On the 6th day of the month, being Friday, Inche Mohamad Kassim,
Penghulu of the Mukim of Bukit Raja, was commissioned by Datoh Penghulu
Mohit to summon the bridegroom, inasmuch as that day was fixed for
the marriage rite. And the bridegroom, wearing the robe called jubah
and a turban tied after the Arab fashion, [635] arrived at about three
o'clock, and was met by the priest (Tuan Imam) at the house. Very many
were the guests on that day, and many ladies and gentlemen, and his
renowned Highness the Tungku Dia-Uddin, were assembled in the house.
"And the Tuan Imam read the marriage service, Datoh Penghulu Mohit
giving his permission for Tuan Haji Mohamad Said Mufti to wed Inche
Halimah to Said `Abdul Rahman Al Jafri, with a marriage portion of
$100. And after the marriage rite Tuan Imam proceeded to read prayers
for their welfare. And afterwards dishes of rice were brought, of
which the guests present were invited to partake. And when all had
eaten, the Coiffeur led forth the bride to the scaffolding for the
ceremony called 'Bathing in State.' And upon that same evening took
place the Great Henna-staining, and the guests assembled in exceeding
great numbers, both men and women, and filled the house above and
below to overflowing. And when the henna-staining was completed,
all the men who were present chanted (bacha maulud) until daybreak.
"And upon the 7th day of the month, being Saturday, the bride being
adorned, the bridegroom seated in a buggy was drawn in procession
at about 5 o'clock from the house of his renowned Highness Tungku
Dia-Uddin, accompanied by the Government Band and all kinds of music,
to the house of the Datoh Penghulu, where he was met and sprinkled with
saffron-rice and rose-water. Afterwards, being seated on the marriage
throne side by side, both husband and wife, they offered each other
in turn the mouthfuls of saffron-rice which were presented by the
ladies and gentlemen and His Highness Tungku Dia-Uddin.
"And afterwards the elder relatives on the side of both husband
and bride presented the rice, and Inche Mohamad Kassim presented
red eggs (telor berjoran) to all the ladies and gentlemen, and the
bridegroom led the bride with him into the bridal chamber by the
finger, walking upon cloth of purple and gold. And afterwards all
the ladies and gentlemen were invited to eat and drink, and the band
played, fireworks and artificial fires were burned, and great was
the brightness thereof, and all the young people danced and sang at
their pleasure until the evening was spent." [636]
The marriage customs hitherto described have been only such as
are based on a peaceful understanding between the parents of the
contracting parties. An account of Malay marriage customs would
not, however, be complete without some mention of the customs which
regulate, strange as it may seem, even the forcible abduction of a
wife. Of these customs Sir W. E. Maxwell says:--
"The word panjat in Malay means literally 'to climb,' but it is used
in Perak, and perhaps in other Malay States, to signify a forcible
entry into a house for the purpose of securing as a wife a woman whom
her relations have already refused to the intruder. This high-handed
proceeding is recognised by Malay custom, and is regulated by certain
well-known rules.
"Panjat is of two kinds--panjat angkara and panjat 'adat--entry by
violence and entry by custom. In the first case, the man makes his
way into the house armed with his kris, or other weapon, and entering
the women's apartment, or posting himself at the door, secures the
person of his intended bride, or prevents her escape. He runs the
risk of being killed on the spot by the girl's relations, and his
safety depends upon his reputation for courage and strength, and upon
the number of his friends and the influence of his family. A wooer
who adopts this violent method of compelling the assent of unwilling
relations to his marriage to one of their kin must, say the Malays, have three qualifications-- |
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