Humour wit Satire of the Seventeenth Century 45
18. A Barbers Wife near _S^t Dunstans_ Church, lately
divorced from her Husband, a pretty Woman,
and fit for service. What you please
19. The Widdow of the Famous _Dr S----fold_, late
Student in Physick Astrology and Poetry, besides
her Talent in a Napkin. 200 per. Ann.
20. A young Orphan, Right Honourable by the Fathers
side, and Right by the Mothers 3000
One a Licence had got [12.]
For to begg, God wot,
And of a poor Scholar begg'd a Doller;
Thou hast Lice I do fear,
But no sence, I swear,
For to begg of a very poor Scholar.
[18.] An Author's House being on fire whilst he was poring on his
Books, he called to his Wife and bad her look to it. _You know_, says
he, _I don't concern myself with the household_.
[17.] One parting a Fray, was cut into the Scul: says the Surgeon,
Sir, one may see your brains: Nay then I'l be hang'd, says he, for if
I had had any brains, I had never come there.
[17.] A Gentleman losing his way galloping furiously over the plow'd
Lands towards _Tame_, and meeting one, said, Friend is this the way to
_Tame?_ Yes Sir, says he, your Horse, if he be as wild as the Devil.
THE VIRGIN RACE
_Or, York-shires Glory_.
Being an Account of a Race lately Run at
_Temple-Newnham-Green_; None being admitted to run, but such
as were supposed Virgins. The first that came to the two
Miles-Race end, was to have a Silver Spoon, the second, a
silver bodkin, the third a Silver Thimble, and the fourth
Nothing at all.
Tune is, _a New Game at Cards_.
[Illustration]
You that do desire to hear, [60.]
Of a Virgin Race run in _York-Shire_,
Come and Listen, I'le declare,
Such News before, you never did hear;
For I think since the World begun
But seldom Virgins Races run.
Four Virgins that supposed were
A Race did run I now declare,
Sure such a Race was never seen,
As this at _Temple Newnham Green_.
In half-shirts & Drawers these Maids did run
But Bonny _Nan_ the Race has won
A Silver Spoon this _Nan_ obtain'd
The next a Silver Bodkin gain'd
The third that was not quite so nimble,
Was to have a Silver Thimble;
And she that was the last of all.
Nothing unto her share did fall.
In Drawers Red _Ann Clayton_ run,
And she it was the Race that won;
_Pegg Hall_ as I may tell to you,
Did run in Drawers that were Blew;
Honest _Alice Hall_ that was the third,
Her Drawers were white upon my word.
A concourse great of People were
For to behold these Virgins there,
Who so well acted the Mans part,
And love a Man with all their heart;
But what means this, for well we know
Maids through the Nation all do so.
Now let us come to Bonny _Nan_,
Who won a Race once of a man,
In _Bassing Hall Street_ he did dwell
His name was _Luke_, 'tis known full well;
And let me now declare to you,
At something else she'l beat him too.
Let none the _York-shire_ Girls despise
Who are so Active now a days,
So brisk and nimble they do grow,
That few can match them, I do know:
Then let us stand up for _York shire_,
Those Country Girls I love most dear.
A _York shire_ Girl who can outvie,
No City Girls can them come nigh,
They've Rosey Blushes in their Cheeks,
While City Girls are Green as Leeks,
This with my fancy will agree
A _York shire_ Girl shall be for me.
Then here's a Health to a _York shire_ Girl,
For in my eye she is a Pearl
Whose Beauty doth so charm mine eye,
That for her I would freely dye.
Her virtues do her face adorn,
And makes her look fresh as the Morn.
Now to conclude unto my friend
These Lines I freely recommend;
Advising him above the rest,
To love a _Yorkshire_ Girl the best;
But let him use his skill for I
Will love a _Yorkshire_ Girl until I dye
FINIS
Printed for J Wright, J Clark, W Thackeray, and T. Passinger--
[61.] There were two good fellows of ancient society (who had not seen
one another in a great space of tyme) that one morning very luckily
met each other in _Budge Row_, and after some signes of gladnesse to
meet so happily, they agreed upon a mornings draught, which lasted
almost till noon, in which time they were both sufficiently liquor'd.
But their bellies being fuller than their brains, they did resolve to
bring up the rear of that morning's action with a Cup of Canary;
away they went to the Swan Tavern at _Dowgate_, where for three hours
longer they sat pecking at one another, like two Game Cocks at the
end of a battaile, untill both their Eyes were in a very glimmering
Condition. In the mean time, whilst they were thus toaping, there fell
an exceeding violent and continuing glut of Rain, so that it flowed up
to the threshold of the Tavern door, and no passenger could get over:
By this time my good fellows having call'd, and paid the reckoning,
they both came reeling to the door, and seeing so broad a water
tumbled down _Dowgate_, one of them swore it was the Thames, and began
to call a Sculler; the other being unwilling to engage further,
said he would take his leave, which he did with so low a bending
Complement, that his britch touching a little too hard against the
stump of a post which was behind him, that it made him rebound into
the middle of the stream with his head forward. The unfortunate fellow
was no sooner in, but he began to stretch forth his Armes and Leggs to
swim; the other which stood upon the shore, cryed out lamentably for
the danger of his friend, and deploring the loss of so good a fellow,
and what loss his Wife and Children would suffer in his death. But in
conclusion (as the last word of Comfort) he calls out to him in these
words. Dost thou hear Friend! Friend! if thou canst but Gaine _Temple
Staire's_ thou wilt be safe, I warrant thee, unto which the swimming
man made reply. A pox of Gaine, I do not think of Gaine, if I can but
save myself, I care not.
_Quidam erat._
A preaching fryar there was, who thus began, [5.]
The scripture saith there was a certaine man:
A certaine man? but I do read no where,
Of any certaine woman[F. 88] mention'd there:
A certaine man, a phrase in scripture common,
But no place shewes there was a Certaine Woman:
And fit it is, that we should ground our faith
On nothing more than what the scripture saith.
[Footnote 88: This is hardly warranted by fact. See Mark xii.
42; Luke xi. 27; Luke xxiv. 22.]
A fellow once said [12.]
He would ne're keep his Bed,
Though sick, I heard him to tell it,
And his Reason was,
Nay I know the Cause,
For he still had a mind to Sell it.
댓글 없음:
댓글 쓰기