the memories of casanova 120

the memories of casanova 120

"He answers for the fidelity of the cook and his wife who take care of

the casino. He has likewise every confidence in the two gondoliers,

although one of them is sure to be a spy of the State Inquisitors."

 

On Christmas Eve she announced the return of her lover, and she told him

that on St. Stephen's Day she would go with him to the opera, and that

they would afterwards spend the night together.

 

"I shall expect you, my beloved one," she added, "on the last day of the

year, and here is a letter which I beg you not to read till you get

home."

 

As I had to move in order to make room for her lover, I packed my things

early in the morning, and, bidding farewell to a place in which during

ten days I had enjoyed so many delights, I returned to the Bragadin

Palace, where I read the following letter:

 

"You have somewhat offended me, my own darling, by telling me,

respecting the mystery which I am bound to keep on the subject of my

lover, that, satisfied to possess my heart, you left me mistress of my

mind. That division of the heart and of the mind appears to me a pure

sophism, and if it does not strike you as such you must admit that you

do not love me wholly, for I cannot exist without mind, and you cannot

cherish my heart if it does not agree with my mind. If your love cannot

accept a different state of things it does not excel in delicacy.

However, as some circumstance might occur in which you might accuse me

of not having acted towards you with all the sincerity that true love

inspires, and that it has a right to demand, I have made up my mind to

confide to you a secret which concerns my friend, although I am aware

that he relies entirely upon my discretion. I shall certainly be guilty

of a breach of confidence, but you will not love me less for it,

because, compelled to choose between you two, and to deceive either one

or the other, love has conquered friendship; do not punish me for it,

for it has not been done blindly, and you will, I trust, consider the

reasons which have caused the scale to weigh down in your favour.

 

"When I found myself incapable of resisting my wish to know you and to

become intimate with you, I could not gratify that wish without taking

my friend into my confidence, and I had no doubt of his compliance. He

conceived a very favourable opinion of your character from your first

letter, not only because you had chosen the parlour of the convent for

our first interview, but also because you appointed his casino at Muran

instead of your own. But he likewise begged of me to allow him to be

present at our first meeting-place, in a small closet--a true hiding-

place, from which one can see and hear everything without being

suspected by those in the drawing-room. You have not yet seen that

mysterious closet, but I will shew it to you on the last day of the

year. Tell me, dearest, whether I could refuse that singular request to

the man who was shewing me such compliant kindness? I consented, and it

was natural for me not to let you know it. You are therefore aware now

that my friend was a witness of all we did and said during the first

night that we spent together, but do not let that annoy you, for you

pleased him in everything, in your behaviour towards me as well as in

the witty sayings which you uttered to make me laugh. I was in great

fear, when the conversation turned upon him, lest you would say

something which might hurt his self-love, but, very fortunately, he

heard only the most flattering compliments. Such is, dearest love, the

sincere confession of my treason, but as a wise lover you will forgive

me because it has not done you the slightest harm. My friend is

extremely curious to ascertain who you are. But listen to me, that night

you were natural and thoroughly amiable, would you have been the same,

if you had known that there was a witness? It is not likely, and if I

had acquainted you with the truth, you might have refused your consent,

and perhaps you would have been right.

 

"Now that we know each other, and that you entertain no doubt, I trust,

of my devoted love, I wish to ease my conscience and to venture all.

Learn then, dearest, that on the last day of the year, my friend will be

at the casino, which he will leave only the next morning. You will not

see him, but he will see us. As you are supposed not to know anything

about it, you must feel that you will have to be natural in everything,

otherwise, he might guess that I have betrayed the secret. It is

especially in your conversation that you must be careful. My friend

possesses every virtue except the theological one called faith, and on

that subject you can say anything you like. You will be at liberty to

talk literature, travels, politics, anything you please, and you need

not refrain from anecdotes. In fact you are certain of his approbation.

 

"Now, dearest, I have only this to say. Do you feel disposed to allow

yourself to be seen by another man while you are abandoning yourself to

the sweet voluptuousness of your senses? That doubt causes all my

anxiety, and I entreat from you an answer, yes or no. Do you understand

how painful the doubt is for me? I expect not to close my eyes

throughout the night, and I shall not rest until I have your decision.

In case you should object to shew your tenderness in the presence of a

third person, I will take whatever determination love may suggest to me.

But I hope you will consent, and even if you were not to perform the

character of an ardent lover in a masterly manner, it would not be of

any consequence. I will let my friend believe that your love has not

reached its apogee"

 

That letter certainly took me by surprise, but all things considered,

thinking that my part was better than the one accepted by the lover, I

laughed heartily at the proposal. I confess, however, that I should not

have laughed if I had not known the nature of the individual who was to

be the witness of my amorous exploits. Understanding all the anxiety of

my friend, and wishing to allay it, I immediately wrote to her the

following lines:

 

"You wish me, heavenly creature, to answer you yes or no, and I, full of

love for you, want my answer to reach you before noon, so that you may

dine in perfect peace.

 

"I will spend the last night of the year with you, and I can assure you

that the friend, to whom we will give a spectacle worthy of Paphos and

Amathos, shall see or hear nothing likely to make him suppose that I am

acquainted with his secret. You may be certain that I will play my part

not as a novice but as a master. If it is man's duty to be always the

slave of his reason; if, as long as he has control over himself, he

ought not to act without taking it for his guide, I cannot understand

why a man should be ashamed to shew himself to a friend at the very

moment that he is most favoured by love and nature.

 

"Yet I confess that you would have been wrong if you had confided the

secret to me the first time, and that most likely I should then have

refused to grant you that mark of my compliance, not because I loved you

less then than I do now, but there are such strange tastes in nature

that I might have imagined that your lover's ruling taste was to enjoy

the sight of an ardent and frantic couple in the midst of amorous

connection, and in that case, conceiving an unfavourable opinion of you,

vexation might have frozen the love you had just sent through my being.

Now, however, the case is very different. I know all I possess in you,

and, from all you have told me of your lover, I am well disposed towards

him, and I believe him to be my friend. If a feeling of modesty does not

deter you from shewing yourself tender, loving, and full of amorous

ardour with me in his presence, how could I be ashamed, when, on the

contrary, I ought to feel proud of myself? I have no reason to blush at

having made a conquest of you, or at shewing myself in those moments

during which I prove the liberality with which nature has bestowed upon

me the shape and the strength which assure such immense enjoyment to me,

besides the certainty that I can make the woman I love share it with me.

I am aware that, owing to a feeling which is called natural, but which

is perhaps only the result of civilization and the effect of the

prejudices inherent in youth, most men object to any witness in those

moments, but those who cannot give any good reasons for their repugnance

must have in their nature something of the cat. At the same time, they

might have some excellent reasons, without their thinking themselves

bound to give them, except to the woman, who is easily deceived. I

excuse with all my heart those who know that they would only excite the

pity of the witnesses, but we both have no fear of that sort. All you

have told me of your friend proves that he will enjoy our pleasures. But

do you know what will be the result of it? The intensity of our ardour

will excite his own, and he will throw himself at my feet, begging and

entreating me to give up to him the only object likely to calm his

amorous excitement. What could I do in that case? Give you up? I could

hardly refuse to do so with good grace, but I would go away, for I could

not remain a quiet spectator.

 

"Farewell, my darling love; all will be well, I have no doubt. Prepare

yourself for the athletic contest, and rely upon the fortunate being who

adores you."

 

I spent the six following days with my three worthy friends, and at the

'ridotto', which at that time was opened on St. Stephen's Day. As I

could not hold the cards there, the patricians alone having the

privilege of holding the bank, I played morning and evening, and I

constantly lost; for whoever punts must lose. But the loss of the four

or five thousand sequins I possessed, far from cooling my love, seemed

only to increase its ardour.

 

At the end of the year 1774 the Great Council promulgated a law

forbidding all games of chance, the first effect of which was to close

the 'ridotto'. This law was a real phenomenon, and when the votes were

taken out of the urn the senators looked at each other with

stupefaction. They had made the law unwittingly, for three-fourths of

the voters objected to it, and yet three-fourths of the votes were in

favour of it. People said that it was a miracle of St. Mark's, who had

answered the prayers of Monsignor Flangini, then censor-in-chief, now

cardinal, and one of the three State Inquisitors.

 

On the day appointed I was punctual at the place of rendezvous, and I

had not to wait for my mistress. She was in the dressing-room, where she

had had time to attend to her toilet, and as soon as she heard me she

came to me dressed with the greatest elegance.

 

"My friend is not yet at his post," she said to me, "but the moment he

is there I will give you a wink."

 

"Where is the mysterious closet?"

 

"There it is. Look at the back of this sofa against the wall. All those

flowers in relief have a hole in the centre which communicates with the

closet behind that wall. There is a bed, a table, and everything

necessary to a person who wants to spend the night in amusing himself by

looking at what is going on in this room. I will skew it to you whenever

you like."

 

"Was it arranged by your lover's orders?"

 

"No, for he could not foresee that he would use it."

 

"I understand that he may find great pleasure in such a sight, but being

unable to possess you at the very moment nature will make you most

necessary to him, what will he do?"

 

"That is his business. Besides, he is at liberty to go away when he has

had enough of it, or to sleep if he has a mind to, but if you play your

part naturally he will not feel any weariness."

 

"I will be most natural, but I must be more polite."

 

"No, no politeness, I beg, for if you are polite, goodbye to nature.

Where have you ever seen, I should like to know, two lovers, excited by

all the fury of love, think of politeness?"

 

"You are right, darling, but I must be more delicate."

 

"Very well, delicacy can do no harm, but no more than usual. Your letter

greatly pleased me, you have treated the subject like a man of

experience."

 

I have already stated that my mistress was dressed most elegantly, but I

ought to have added that it was the elegance of the Graces, and that it

did not in any way prevent ease and simplicity. I only wondered at her

having used some paint for the face, but it rather pleased me because

she had applied it according to the fashion of the ladies of Versailles.

The charm of that style consists in the negligence with which the paint

is applied. The rouge must not appear natural; it is used to please the

eyes which see in it the marks of an intoxication heralding the most

amorous fury. She told me that she had put some on her face to please

her inquisitive friend, who was very fond of it.

 

"That taste," I said, "proves him to be a Frenchman."

 

As I was uttering these words, she made a sign to me; the friend was at

his post, and now the play began.

 

"The more I look at you, beloved angel, the more I think you worthy of

my adoration."But are you not certain that you do not worship a cruel divinity?"