the memories of casanova 132

the memories of casanova 132

We returned together to Venice, where we separated, and I passed the

rest of the night in great distress. In the morning I wrote to the fair

afflicted, and whilst endeavouring to console her to the best of my

ability, I tried to impress on her the necessity for prudence and the

avoidance of such escapades as might eventually ruin us.

 

Next day I received her reply, every word of which spelt despair. Nature

had given her a disposition which had become so intensified by

indulgence that the cloister was unbearable to her, and I foresaw the

hard fights I should have to undergo.

 

We saw each other the Thursday after Easter, and I told her that I

should not come to the casino before midnight. She had had four hours to

pass with her lover in tears and regrets, amongst which she had often

cursed her cruel fate and the foolish resolution which made her take the

veil. We supped together, and although the meal was a rich and delicate

one we did it little honour. When we had finished, the ambassador left,

entreating me to remain, which I did, without thinking at all of the

pleasures of a party of two, for Love lighteth not his torch at the

hearts of two lovers who are full of grief and sorrow. M---- M---- had

grown thin, and her condition excited my pity and shut out all other

feelings. I held her a long time in my arms, covering her with tender

and affectionate kisses, but I shewed no intention of consoling her by

amusements in which her spirit could not have taken part. She said,

before we parted, that I had shewn myself a true lover, and she asked me

to consider myself from henceforth as her only friend and protector.

 

Next week, when we were together as usual, M. de Bemis called the

housekeeper just before supper, and in his presence executed a deed in

my behalf, which he made him sign. In this document he transferred to me

all rights over the contents of the casino, and charged him to consider

me in all things as his master.

 

We arranged to sup together two days after, to make our farewells, but

on my arrival I found by herself, standing up, and pale as death, or

rather as white as a statue of Carrara marble.

 

"He is gone," she said, "and he leaves me to your care. Fatal being,

whom perchance I shall see no more, whom I thought I loved but as a

friend, now you are lost to me I see my mistake. Before I knew him I was

not happy, but neither was I unhappy as I now am."

 

I passed the whole night beside her, striving by the most delicate

attentions to soften her grief, but with out success. Her character, as

abandoned to sorrow as to pleasure, was displayed to me during that long

and weary night. She told me at what hour I should come to the convent

parlour, the next day, and on my arrival I was delighted to find her not

quite so sad. She shewed me a letter which her lover had written to her

from Trevisa, and she then told me that I must come and see her twice a

week, warning me that she would be accompanied sometimes by one nun and

sometimes by another, for she foresaw that my visits would become the

talk of the convent, when it became known that I was the individual who

used to go to mass at their church. She therefore told me to give in

another name, to prevent C---- C----'s aunt from becoming suspicious.

 

"Nevertheless," she added, "this will not prevent my coming alone when I

have any matter of importance to communicate to you. Promise me,

sweetheart, to sup and sleep at the casino at least once a week, and

write me a note each time by the housekeeper's wife."

 

I made no difficulty in promising her that much.

 

We thus passed a fortnight quietly enough, as she was happy again, and

her amorous inclinations had returned in full force. About this time she

gave me a piece of news which delighted me--namely, that C---- C---- had

no longer anything to fear.

 

Full of amorous wishes and having to be content with the teasing

pleasure of seeing one another through a wretched grating, we racked our

brains to find out some way to be alone together to do what we liked,

without any risk.

 

"I am assured," she said, "of the good faith of the gardener's sister. I

can go out and come in without fear of being seen, for the little door

leading to the convent is not overlooked by any window--indeed it is

thought to be walled up. Nobody can see me crossing the garden to the

little stream, which is considered unnavigable. All we want is a one-

oared gondola, and I cannot believe that with the help of money you will

be unable to find a boatman on whom we may rely."

 

I understood from these __EXPRESSION__s that she suspected me of becoming

cold towards her, and this suspicion pierced me to the heart.

 

"Listen," said I, "I will be the boatman myself. I will come to the

quay, pass by the little door, and you shall lead me to your room where

I will pass the whole night with you, and the day, too, if you think you

can hide me."

 

"That plan," said she, "makes me shudder. I tremble at the danger to

which you might be exposed. No, I should be too unfortunate if I were to

be the cause of your misfortune, but, as you can row, come in the boat,

let me know the time as closely as possible; the trusty woman will be on

the watch, and I will not keep you four minutes waiting. I will get into

the boat, we will go to our beloved casino, and then we shall be happy

without fearing anything."

 

"I will think it over"

 

The way I took to satisfy her was as follows: I bought a small boat, and

without telling her I went one night all by myself round the island to

inspect the walls of the convent on the side of the lagune. With some

difficulty I made out a little door, which I judged to be the only one

by which she could pass, but to go from there to the casino was no small

matter, since one was obliged to fetch a wide course, and with one oar I

could not do the passage in less than a quarter of an hour, and that

with much toil. Nevertheless, feeling sure of success, I told my pretty

nun of the plan, and never was news received with so much pleasure. We

set our watches together, and fixed our meeting for the Friday

following.

 

On the day appointed, an hour before sunset, I betook myself to St.

Francis de la Vigne, where I kept my boat, and having set it in order

and dressed myself as a boatman, I got upon the poop and held a straight

course for the little door, which opened the moment I arrived. M---- M--

-- came out wrapped in a cloak, and someone shutting the door after her

she got on board my frail bark, and in a quarter of an hour we were at

the casino. M---- M---- made haste to go in, but I stayed to belay my

boat with a lock and chain against thieves, who pass the night

pleasantly by stealing whatever they can lay hands on.

 

Though I had rowed easily enough, I was in a bath of perspiration,

which, however, by no means hindered my charming mistress from falling

on my neck; the pleasure of meeting seemed to challenge her love, and,

proud of what I had done, I enjoyed her transports.

 

Not dreaming that I should have any occasion for a change of linen, I

had brought none with me, but she soon found a cure for this defect; for

after having undressed me she dried me lovingly, gave me one of her

smocks, and I found myself dressed to admiration.

 

We had been too long deprived of our amorous pleasures to think of

taking supper before we had offered a plenteous sacrifice to love. We

spent two hours in the sweetest of intoxications, our bliss seeming more

acute than at our first meeting. In spite of the fire which consumed me,

in spite of the ardour of my mistress, I was sufficiently master of

myself to disappoint her at the critical moment, for the picture which

our friend had drawn was always before my eyes. M---- M----, joyous and

wanton, having me for the first time in the character of boatman,

augmented our delights by her amorous caprices, but it was useless for

her to try to add fuel to my flame, since I loved her better than

myself.

 

The night was short, for she was obliged to return at three in the

morning, and it struck one as we sat down to table. As the climax of ill

luck a storm came on whilst we were at supper. Our hair stood on end;

our only hope was founded in the nature of these squalls, which seldom

last more than an hour. We were in hopes, also, that it would not leave

behind it too strong a wind, as is sometimes the case, for though I was

strong and sturdy I was far from having the skill or experience of a

professional boatman.

 

In less than half an hour the storm became violent, one flash of

lightning followed another, the thunder roared, and the wind grew to a

gale. Yet after a heavy rain, in less than an hour, the sky cleared, but

there was no moon, it being the day after the Ascension. Two o'clock

stuck. I put my head out at the window, but perceive that a contrary

gale is blowing.

 

 

'Ma tiranno del mar Libecchio resta.'

 

This Libecchio which Ariosto calls--and with good reason--the tyrant of

the sea, is the southwesterly wind, which is commonly called 'Garbin' at

Venice. I said nothing, but I was frightened. I told my sweetheart that

we must needs sacrifice an hour of pleasure, since prudence would have

it so.

 

"Let us set out forthwith, for if the gale gets stronger I shall not be

able to double the island."

 

She saw my advice was not to be questioned, and taking the key of her

strong box, whence she desired to get some money, she was delighted to

find her store increased fourfold. She thanked me for having told her

nothing about it, assuring me she would have of me nothing but my heart,

and following me she got into my boat and lay down at full length so as

not to hinder its motion, I got upon the poop, as full of fear as

courage, and in five minutes I had the good luck to double the point.

But there it was that the tyrant was waiting for me, and it was not long

before I felt that my strength would not outlast that of the winds. I

rowed with all my strength, but all I could do was to prevent my boat

from going back. For half an hour I was in this pitiful state, and I

felt my strength failing without daring to say a word. I was out of

breath, but could not rest a moment, since the least relaxation would

have let the boat slip a far way back, and this would have been a

distance hard to recover. M---- M---- lay still and silent, for she

perceived I had no breath wherewith to answer her. I began to give

ourselves up as lost.

 

At that instant I saw in the distance a barque coming swiftly towards

us. What a piece of luck! I waited till she caught us up, for if I had

not done so I should not have been able to make myself heard, but as

soon as I saw her at my left hand, twelve feet off, I shouted, "Help! I

will give two sequins!"

 

They lowered sail and came towards me, and on their hailing me I asked

for a man to take us to the opposite point of the island. They asked a

sequin in advance, I gave it them, and promised the other to the man who

would get on my poop and help me to make the point. In less than ten

minutes we were opposite to the little stream leading to the convent,

but the secret of it was too dear to be hazarded, so as soon as we

reached the point I paid my preserver and sent him back. Henceforth the

wind was in our favour, and we soon got to the little door, where M----

M---- landed, saying to me, "Go and sleep in the casino." I thought her

advice wise, and I followed it, and having the wind behind me I got to

the casino without trouble, and slept till broad day. As soon as I had

risen I wrote to my dear mistress that I was well, and that we should

see each other at the grating. Having taken my boat back to St. Francis,

I put on my mask and went to Liston.

 

In the morning M---- M---- came to the grating by herself, and we made

all such observations as our adventures of the night would be likely to

suggest, but in place of deciding to follow the advice which prudence

should have given us-namely, not to expose ourselves to danger for the

future, we thought ourselves extremely prudent in resolving that if we

were again threatened by a storm we would set out as soon as we saw it

rising. All the same we had to confess that if chance had not thrown the

barque in our way we should have been obliged to return to the casino,

for M---- M---- could not have got to the convent, and how could she

ever have entered its walls again? I should have been forced to leave

Venice with her, and that for ever. My life would have been finally and  irretrievably linked with hers, and, without doubt, the various adventures which at the age of seventy-two years impel me to write these Memoirs, would never have taken place.