the memories of casanova 123

the memories of casanova 123

"Because I had lost four thousand sequins last week and I was without

money, but I shall play to-morrow, and fortune will smile upon me. In

the mean time, here is a small book which I have brought from your

boudoir: the postures of Pietro Aretino; I want to try some of them."

 

"The thought is worthy of you, but some of these positions could not be

executed, and others are insipid."

 

"True, but I have chosen four very interesting ones."

 

These delightful labours occupied the remainder of the night until the

alarum warned us that it was time to part. I accompanied my lovely nun

as far as her gondola, and then went to bed; but I could not sleep. I

got up in order to go and pay a few small debts, for one of the greatest

pleasures that a spendthrift can enjoy is, in my opinion, to discharge

certain liabilities. The gold won by my mistress proved lucky for me,

for I did not pass a single day of the carnival without winning.

 

Three days after Twelfth Night, having paid a visit to the casino of

Muran for the purpose of placing some gold in M---- M---- 's bureau, the

door-keeper handed me a letter from my nun. Laura had, a few minutes

before, delivered me one from C---- C----.

 

My new mistress, after giving me an account of her health, requested me

to enquire from my jeweller whether he had not by chance made a ring

having on its bezel a St. Catherine which, without a doubt, concealed

another portrait; she wished to know the secret of that ring. "A young

boarder," she added, "a lovely girl, and my friend, is the owner of that

ring. There must be a secret, but she does not know it." I answered that

I would do what she wished. But here is the letter of C---- C----. It

was rather amusing, because it placed me in a regular dilemma; it bore a

late date, but the letter of M---- M---- had been written two days

before it.

 

"Ali! how truly happy I am, my beloved husband! You love Sister M---- M-

---, my dear friend. She has a locket as big as a ring, and she cannot

have received it from anyone but you. I am certain that your dear

likeness is to be found under the Annunciation. I recognized the style

of the artist, and it is certainly the same who painted the locket and

my ring. I am satisfied that Sister M---M---has received that present

from you. I am so pleased to know all that I would not run the risk of

grieving her by telling her that I knew her secret, but my dear friend,

either more open or more curious, has not imitated my reserve. She told

me that she had no doubt of my St. Catherine concealing the portrait of

my lover. Unable to say anything better, I told her that the ring was in

reality a gift from my lover, but that I had no idea of his portrait

being concealed inside of it. 'If it is as you say,' observed M---- M---

-, 'and if you have no objection, I will try to find out the secret, and

afterwards I will let you know mine.' Being quite certain that she would

not discover it, I gave her my ring, saying that, if she could find out

the secret, I should be very much pleased.

 

"Just as that moment my aunt paid me a visit, and I left my ring in the

hands of M---- M----, who returned it to me after dinner, assuring me

that, although she had not been able to find out the secret, she was

certain there was one. I promise you that she shall never hear anything

about it from me, because if she saw your portrait, she would guess

everything, and then I should have to tell her who you are. I am sorry

to be compelled to conceal anything from her, but I am very glad you

love one another. I pity you both, however, with all my heart, because I

know that you are obliged to make love through a grating in that horrid

parlour. How I wish, dearest, I could give you my place! I would make

two persons happy at the same time! Adieu!"

 

I answered that she had guessed rightly, that the locket of her friend

was a present from me and contained my likeness, but that she was to

keep the secret, and to be certain that my friendship for M---- M----

interfered in no way with the feeling which bound me to her for ever. I

certainly was well aware that I was not behaving in a straightforward

manner, but I endeavoured to deceive myself, so true it is that a woman,

weak as she is, has more influence by the feeling she inspires than man

can possibly have with all his strength. At all events, I was foolishly

trying to keep up an intrigue which I knew to be near its denouement

through the intimacy that had sprung up between these two friendly

rivals.

 

Laura having informed me that there was to be on a certain day a ball in

the large parlour of the convent, I made up my mind to attend it in such

a disguise that my two friends could not recognize me. I decided upon

the costume of a Pierrot, because it conceals the form and the gait

better than any other. I was certain that my two friends would be behind

the grating, and that it would afford me the pleasant opportunity of

seeing them together and of comparing them. In Venice, during the

carnival, that innocent pleasure is allowed in convents. The guests

dance in the parlour, and the sisters remain behind the grating,

enjoying the sight of the ball, which is over by sunset. Then all the

guests retire, and the poor nuns are for a long time happy in the

recollection of the pleasure enjoyed by their eyes. The ball was to take

place in the afternoon of the day appointed for my meeting with M---- M-

---, in the evening at the casino of Muran, but that could not prevent

me from going to the ball; besides, I wanted to see my dear C---- C----.

 

I have said before that the dress of a Pierrot is the costume which

disguises the figure and the gait most completely. It has also the

advantage, through a large cap, of concealing the hair, and the white

gauze which covers the face does not allow the colour of the eyes or of

the eyebrows to be seen, but in order to prevent the costume from

hindering the movements of the mask, he must not wear anything

underneath, and in winter a dress made of light calico is not

particularly agreeable. I did not, however, pay any attention to that,

and taking only a plate of soup I went to Muran in a gondola. I had no

cloak, and--in my pockets I had nothing but my handkerchief, my purse,

and the key of the casino.

 

I went at once to the convent. The parlour was full, but thanks to my

costume of Pierrot, which was seen in Venice but very seldom, everybody

made room for me. I walked on, assuming the gait of a booby, the true

characteristic of my costume, and I stopped near the dancers. After I

had examined the Pantaloons, Punches, Harlequins, and Merry Andrews, I

went near the grating, where I saw all the nuns and boarders, some

seated, some standing, and, without appearing to, notice any of them in

particular, I remarked my two friends together, and very intent upon the

dancers. I then walked round the room, eyeing everybody from head to

foot, and calling the general attention upon myself.

 

I chose for my partner in the minuet a pretty girl dressed as a

Columbine, and I took her hand in so awkward a manner and with such an

air of stupidity that everybody laughed and made room for us. My partner

danced very well according to her costume, and I kept my character with

such perfection that the laughter was general. After the minuet I danced

twelve forlanas with the greatest vigour. Out of breath, I threw myself

on a sofa, pretending to go to sleep, and the moment I began to snore

everybody respected the slumbers of Pierrot. The quadrille lasted one

hour, and I took no part in it, but immediately after it, a Harlequin

approached me with the impertinence which belongs to his costume, and

flogged me with his wand. It is Harlequin's weapon. In my quality of

Pierrot I had no weapons. I seized him round the waist and carried him

round the parlour, running all the time, while he kept on flogging me. I

then put him down. Adroitly snatching his wand out of his hand, I lifted

his Columbine on my shoulders, and pursued him, striking him with the

wand, to the great delight and mirth of the company. The Columbine was

screaming because she was afraid of my tumbling down and of shewing her

centre of gravity to everybody in the fall. She had good reason to fear,

for suddenly a foolish Merry Andrew came behind me, tripped me up, and

down I tumbled. Everybody hooted Master Punch. I quickly picked myself

up, and rather vexed I began a regular fight with the insolent fellow.

He was of my size, but awkward, and he had nothing but strength. I threw

him, and shaking him vigorously on all sides I contrived to deprive him

of his hump and false stomach. The nuns, who had never seen such a merry

sight, clapped their hands, everybody laughed loudly, and improving my

opportunity I ran through the crowd and disappeared.

 

I was in a perspiration, and the weather was cold; I threw myself into a

gondola, and in order not to get chilled I landed at the 'ridotto'. I

had two hours to spare before going to the casino of Muran, and I longed

to enjoy the astonishment of my beautiful nun when she saw M. Pierrot

standing before her. I spent those two hours in playing at all the

banks, winning, losing, and performing all sorts of antics with complete

freedom, being satisfied that no one could recognize me; enjoying the

present, bidding defiance to the future, and laughing at all those

reasonable beings who exercise their reason to avoid the misfortunes

which they fear, destroying at the same time the pleasure that they

might enjoy.

 

But two o'clock struck and gave me warning that Love and Comus were

calling me to bestow new delights upon me. With my pockets full of gold

and silver, I left the ridotto, hurried to Muran, entered the sanctuary,

and saw my divinity leaning against the mantelpiece. She wore her

convent dress. I come near her by stealth, in order to enjoy her

surprise. I look at her, and I remain petrified, astounded.

 

The person I see is not M---- M----

 

It is C---- C----, dressed as a nun, who, more astonished even than

myself, does not utter one word or make a movement. I throw myself in an

arm-chair in order to breathe and to recover from my surprise. The sight

of C---- C---- had annihilated me, and my mind was as much stupefied as

my body. I found myself in an inextricable maze.

 

It is M---- M----, I said to myself, who has played that trick upon me,

but how has she contrived to know that I am the lover of C---- C----?

Has C---- C---- betrayed my secret? But if she has betrayed it, how

could M---- M---- deprive herself of the pleasure of seeing me, and

consent to her place being taken by her friend and rival? That cannot be

a mark of kind compliance, for a woman never carries it to such an

extreme. I see in it only a mark of contempt--a gratuitous insult.

 

My self-love tried hard to imagine some reason likely to disprove the

possibility of that contempt, but in vain. Absorbed in that dark

discontent, I believed myself wantonly trifled with, deceived, despised,

and I spent half an hour silent and gloomy, staring at C---- C----, who

scarcely dared to breathe, perplexed, confused, and not knowing in whose

presence she was, for she could only know me as the Pierrot whom she had

seen at the ball.

 

Deeply in love with M---- M----, and having come to the casino only for

her, I did not feel disposed to accept the exchange, although I was very

far from despising C---- C----, whose charms were as great, at least, as

those of M---- M----. I loved her tenderly, I adored her, but at that

moment it was not her whom I wanted, because at first her presence had

struck me as a mystification. It seemed to me that if I celebrated the

return of C---- C---- in an amorous manner, I would fail in what I owed

to myself, and I thought that I was bound in honour not to lend myself

to the imposition. Besides, without exactly realizing that feeling, I

was not sorry to have it in my power to reproach M---- M---- with an

indifference very strange in a woman in love, and I wanted to act in

such a manner that she should not be able to say that she had procured

me a pleasure. I must add that I suspected M---- M---- to be hiding in the secret closet, perhaps with her friend.