"It won't be a bit the same. Miss Stacy won't be there, nor you
nor Jane nor Ruby probably. I shall have to sit all alone, for I couldn't
bear to have another deskmate after you. Oh, we have had jolly times,
haven't we, Anne? It's dreadful to think they're all over."
Two big
tears rolled down by Diana's nose.
"If you would stop crying I could,"
said Anne imploringly. "Just as soon as I put away my hanky I see you
brimming up and that starts me off again. As Mrs. Lynde says, 'If you can't
be cheerful, be as cheerful as you can.' After all, I dare say I'll be back
next year. This is one of the times I KNOW I'm not going to pass. They're
getting alarmingly frequent."
"Why, you came out splendidly in the
exams Miss Stacy gave."
"Yes, but those exams didn't make me nervous.
When I think of the real thing you can't imagine what a horrid cold fluttery
feeling comes round my heart. And then my number is thirteen and Josie Pye
says it's so unlucky. I am NOT superstitious and I know it can make no
difference. But still I wish it wasn't thirteen."
"I do wish I was
going in with you," said Diana. "Wouldn't we have a perfectly elegant time?
But I suppose you'll have to cram in the evenings."
"No; Miss Stacy
has made us promise not to open a book at all. She says it would only tire
and confuse us and we are to go out walking and not think about the exams at
all and go to bed early. It's good advice, but I expect it will be hard to
follow; good advice is apt to be, I think. Prissy Andrews told me that she
sat up half the night every night of her Entrance week and crammed for dear
life; and I had determined to sit up AT LEAST as long as she did. It was so
kind of your Aunt Josephine to ask me to stay at Beechwood while I'm in
town."
"You'll write to me while you're in, won't you?"
"I'll
write Tuesday night and tell you how the first day goes,"
promised Anne.
"I'll be haunting the post office Wednesday," vowed
Diana.
Anne went to town the following Monday and on Wednesday Diana
haunted the post office, as agreed, and got her letter.
"Dearest
Diana" [wrote Anne],
"Here it is Tuesday night and I'm writing this in
the library at Beechwood. Last night I was horribly lonesome all alone in my
room and wished so much you were with me. I couldn't "cram" because I'd
promised Miss Stacy not to, but it was as hard to keep from opening my
history as it used to be to keep from reading a story before my lessons
were learned.
"This morning Miss Stacy came for me and we went to the
Academy, calling for Jane and Ruby and Josie on our way. Ruby asked me to
feel her hands and they were as cold as ice. Josie said I looked as if I
hadn't slept a wink and she didn't believe I was strong enough to stand the
grind of the teacher's course even if I did get through. There are times
and seasons even yet when I don't feel that I've made any great headway
in learning to like Josie Pye!
"When we reached the Academy there were
scores of students there from all over the Island. The first person we saw
was Moody Spurgeon sitting on the steps and muttering away to himself. Jane
asked him what on earth he was doing and he said he was repeating the
multiplication table over and over to steady his nerves and for pity's sake
not to interrupt him, because if he stopped for a moment he got frightened
and forgot everything he ever knew, but the multiplication table kept all his
facts firmly in their proper place!
"When we were assigned to our
rooms Miss Stacy had to leave us. Jane and I sat together and Jane was so
composed that I envied her. No need of the multiplication table for good,
steady, sensible Jane! I wondered if I looked as I felt and if they could
hear my heart thumping clear across the room. Then a man came in and began
distributing the English examination sheets. My hands grew cold then and my
head fairly whirled around as I picked it up. Just one awful moment--Diana, I
felt exactly as I did four years ago when I asked Marilla if I might stay at
Green Gables--and then everything cleared up in my mind and my heart
began beating again--I forgot to say that it had stopped altogether!--for
I knew I could do something with THAT paper anyhow.
"At noon we went
home for dinner and then back again for history in the afternoon. The history
was a pretty hard paper and I got dreadfully mixed up in the dates. Still, I
think I did fairly well today. But oh, Diana, tomorrow the geometry exam
comes off and when I think of it it takes every bit of determination I
possess to keep from opening my Euclid. If I thought the multiplication table
would help me any I would recite it from now till tomorrow morning.
"I
went down to see the other girls this evening. On my way I met Moody Spurgeon
wandering distractedly around. He said he knew he had failed in history and
he was born to be a disappointment to his parents and he was going home on
the morning train; and it would be easier to be a carpenter than a minister,
anyhow. I cheered him up and persuaded him to stay to the end because it
would be unfair to Miss Stacy if he didn't. Sometimes I have wished I was
born a boy, but when I see Moody Spurgeon I'm always glad I'm a girl and not
his sister.
"Ruby was in hysterics when I reached their boardinghouse;
she had just discovered a fearful mistake she had made in her English paper.
When she recovered we went uptown and had an ice cream. How we wished you
had been with us.
"Oh, Diana, if only the geometry examination were
over! But there, as Mrs. Lynde would say, the sun will go on rising and
setting whether I fail in geometry or not. That is true but not especially
comforting. I think I'd rather it didn't go on if I failed!
"Yours
devotedly,
"Anne"
The geometry examination and all the others
were over in due time and Anne arrived home on Friday evening, rather tired
but with an air of chastened triumph about her. Diana was over at Green
Gables when she arrived and they met as if they had been parted for
years.
"You old darling, it's perfectly splendid to see you back again.
It seems like an age since you went to town and oh, Anne, how did you
get along?"
"Pretty well, I think, in everything but the geometry. I
don't know whether I passed in it or not and I have a creepy, crawly
presentiment that I didn't. Oh, how good it is to be back! Green Gables is
the dearest, loveliest spot in the world."
"How did the others
do?"
"The girls say they know they didn't pass, but I think they did
pretty well. Josie says the geometry was so easy a child of ten could do
it! Moody Spurgeon still thinks he failed in history and Charlie says
he failed in algebra. But we don't really know anything about it and
won't until the pass list is out. That won't be for a fortnight. Fancy
living a fortnight in such suspense! I wish I could go to sleep and never
wake up until it is over."
Diana knew it would be useless to ask how
Gilbert Blythe had fared, so she merely said:
"Oh, you'll pass all
right. Don't worry."
"I'd rather not pass at all than not come out pretty
well up on the list," flashed Anne, by which she meant--and Diana knew she
meant--that success would be incomplete and bitter if she did not come out
ahead of Gilbert Blythe.
With this end in view Anne had strained every
nerve during the examinations. So had Gilbert. They had met and passed each
other on the street a dozen times without any sign of recognition and every
time Anne had held her head a little higher and wished a little more
earnestly that she had made friends with Gilbert when he asked her, and vowed
a little more determinedly to surpass him in the examination. She
knew that all Avonlea junior was wondering which would come out first;
she even knew that Jimmy Glover and Ned Wright had a bet on the
question and that Josie Pye had said there was no doubt in the world that
Gilbert would be first; and she felt that her humiliation would be unbearable
if she failed.
But she had another and nobler motive for wishing to do
well. She wanted to "pass high" for the sake of Matthew and
Marilla--especially Matthew. Matthew had declared to her his conviction that
she "would beat the whole Island." That, Anne felt, was something it would be
foolish to hope for even in the wildest dreams. But she did hope fervently
that she would be among the first ten at least, so that she might see
Matthew's kindly brown eyes gleam with pride in her achievement. That,
she felt, would be a sweet reward indeed for all her hard work and
patient grubbing among unimaginative equations and conjugations.
At
the end of the fortnight Anne took to "haunting" the post office also, in the
distracted company of Jane, Ruby, and Josie, opening the Charlottetown
dailies with shaking hands and cold, sinkaway feelings as bad as any
experienced during the Entrance week. Charlie and Gilbert were not above
doing this too, but Moody Spurgeon stayed resolutely away.
"I haven't
got the grit to go there and look at a paper in cold blood," he told Anne.
"I'm just going to wait until somebody comes and tells me suddenly whether
I've passed or not."
When three weeks had gone by without the pass list
appearing Anne began to feel that she really couldn't stand the strain much
longer. Her appetite failed and her interest in Avonlea doings
languished. Mrs. Lynde wanted to know what else you could expect with a
Tory superintendent of education at the head of affairs, and Matthew,
noting Anne's paleness and indifference and the lagging steps that bore
her home from the post office every afternoon, began seriously to wonder
if he hadn't better vote Grit at the next election.
But one evening
the news came. Anne was sitting at her open window, for the time forgetful of
the woes of examinations and the cares of the world, as she drank in the
beauty of the summer dusk, sweet-scented with flower breaths from the garden
below and sibilant and rustling from the stir of poplars. The eastern sky
above the firs was flushed faintly pink from the reflection of the west, and
Anne was wondering dreamily if the spirit of color looked like that, when she
saw Diana come flying down through the firs, over the log bridge, and up the
slope, with a fluttering newspaper in her hand.
Anne sprang to her
feet, knowing at once what that paper contained. The pass list was out! Her
head whirled and her heart beat until it hurt her. She could not move a step.
It seemed an hour to her before Diana came rushing along the hall and burst
into the room without even knocking, so great was her
excitement.
"Anne, you've passed," she cried, "passed the VERY FIRST--you
and Gilbert both--you're ties--but your name is first. Oh, I'm so
proud!"
Diana flung the paper on the table and herself on Anne's bed,
utterly breathless and incapable of further speech. Anne lighted the
lamp, oversetting the match safe and using up half a dozen matches before
her shaking hands could accomplish the task. Then she snatched up the
paper. Yes, she had passed--there was her name at the very top of a list of
two hundred! That moment was worth living for.
"You did just
splendidly, Anne," puffed Diana, recovering sufficiently to sit up and speak,
for Anne, starry eyed and rapt, had not uttered a word. "Father brought the
paper home from Bright River not ten minutes ago--it came out on the
afternoon train, you know, and won't be here till tomorrow by mail--and when
I saw the pass list I just rushed over like a wild thing. You've all passed,
every one of you, Moody Spurgeon and all, although he's conditioned in
history. Jane and Ruby did pretty well--they're halfway up--and so did
Charlie. Josie just scraped through with three marks to spare, but you'll see
she'll put on as many airs as if she'd led. Won't Miss Stacy be delighted?
Oh, Anne, what does it feel like to see your name at the head of a pass list
like that? If it were me I know I'd go crazy with joy. I am pretty near crazy
as it is, but you're as calm and cool as a spring evening."
"I'm just
dazzled inside," said Anne. "I want to say a hundred things, and I can't find
words to say them in. I never dreamed of this--yes, I did too, just once! I
let myself think ONCE, 'What if I should come out first?' quakingly, you
know, for it seemed so vain and presumptuous to think I could lead the
Island. Excuse me a minute, Diana. I must run right out to the field to tell
Matthew. Then we'll go up the road and tell the good news to the
others."
They hurried to the hayfield below the barn where Matthew was
coiling hay, and, as luck would have it, Mrs. Lynde was talking to Marilla
at the lane fence.
"Oh, Matthew," exclaimed Anne, "I've passed and I'm
first--or one of the first! I'm not vain, but I'm thankful."
"Well
now, I always said it," said Matthew, gazing at the pass list delightedly. "I
knew you could beat them all easy."
"You've done pretty well, I must say,
Anne," said Marilla, trying to hide her extreme pride in Anne from Mrs.
Rachel's critical eye. But that good soul said heartily:
"I just guess
she has done well, and far be it from me to be backward in saying it. You're
a credit to your friends, Anne, that's what, and we're all proud of
you."
That night Anne, who had wound up the delightful evening with a
serious little talk with Mrs. Allan at the manse, knelt sweetly by her
open window in a great sheen of moonshine and murmured a prayer of
gratitude and aspiration that came straight from her heart. There was in
it thankfulness for the past and reverent petition for the future; and
when she slept on her white pillow her dreams were as fair and bright
and beautiful as maidenhood might desire.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
The Hotel Concert
"Put on your white organdy, by all means, Anne,"
advised Diana decidedly.
They were together in the east gable chamber;
outside it was only twilight--a lovely yellowish-green twilight with a
clear-blue cloudless sky. A big round moon, slowly deepening from her pallid
luster into burnished silver, hung over the Haunted Wood; the air was full of
sweet summer sounds--sleepy birds twittering, freakish breezes,
faraway voices and laughter. But in Anne's room the blind was drawn and the
lamp lighted, for an important toilet was being made.
The east gable
was a very different place from what it had been on that night four years
before, when Anne had felt its bareness penetrate to the marrow of her spirit
with its inhospitable chill. Changes had crept in, Marilla conniving at them
resignedly, until it was as sweet and dainty a nest as a young girl could
desire.
The velvet carpet with the pink roses and the pink silk curtains
of Anne's early visions had certainly never materialized; but her
dreams had kept pace with her growth, and it is not probable she
lamented them. The floor was covered with a pretty matting, and the curtains
that softened the high window and fluttered in the vagrant breezes were
of pale-green art muslin. The walls, hung not with gold and silver
brocade tapestry, but with a dainty apple-blossom paper, were adorned with a
few good pictures given Anne by Mrs. Allan. Miss Stacy's photograph
occupied the place of honor, and Anne made a sentimental point of keeping
fresh flowers on the bracket under it. Tonight a spike of white lilies
faintly perfumed the room like the dream of a fragrance. There was no
"mahogany furniture," but there was a white-painted bookcase filled with
books, a cushioned wicker rocker, a toilet table befrilled with white
muslin, a quaint, gilt-framed mirror with chubby pink Cupids and purple
grapes painted over its arched top, that used to hang in the spare room, and
a low white bed.
Anne was dressing for a concert at the White Sands
Hotel. The guests had got it up in aid of the Charlottetown hospital, and had
hunted out all the available amateur talent in the surrounding districts to
help it along. Bertha Sampson and Pearl Clay of the White Sands Baptist
choir had been asked to sing a duet; Milton Clark of Newbridge was to give
a violin solo; Winnie Adella Blair of Carmody was to sing a Scotch
ballad; and Laura Spencer of Spencervale and Anne Shirley of Avonlea were
to recite.
As Anne would have said at one time, it was "an epoch in
her life," and she was deliciously athrill with the excitement of it. Matthew
was in the seventh heaven of gratified pride over the honor conferred on
his Anne and Marilla was not far behind, although she would have died
rather than admit it, and said she didn't think it was very proper for a
lot of young folks to be gadding over to the hotel without any
responsible person with them.
Anne and Diana were to drive over with
Jane Andrews and her brother Billy in their double-seated buggy; and several
other Avonlea girls and boys were going too. There was a party of visitors
expected out from town, and after the concert a supper was to be given to the
performers.
"Do you really think the organdy will be best?" queried Anne
anxiously. "I don't think it's as pretty as my blue-flowered muslin--and
it certainly isn't so fashionable."
"But it suits you ever so much
better," said Diana. "It's so soft and frilly and clinging. The muslin is
stiff, and makes you look too dressed up. But the organdy seems as if it grew
on you."
Anne sighed and yielded. Diana was beginning to have a
reputation for notable taste in dressing, and her advice on such subjects was
much sought after. She was looking very pretty herself on this
particular night in a dress of the lovely wild-rose pink, from which Anne
was forever debarred; but she was not to take any part in the concert,
so her appearance was of minor importance. All her pains were bestowed
upon Anne, who, she vowed, must, for the credit of Avonlea, be dressed
and combed and adorned to the Queen's taste.
"Pull out that frill a
little more--so; here, let me tie your sash; now for your slippers. I'm going
to braid your hair in two thick braids, and tie them halfway up with big
white bows--no, don't pull out a single curl over your forehead--just have
the soft part. There is no way you do your hair suits you so well, Anne, and
Mrs. Allan says you look like a Madonna when you part it so. I shall fasten
this little white house rose just behind your ear. There was just one on my
bush, and I saved it for you."
"Shall I put my pearl beads on?" asked
Anne. "Matthew brought me a string from town last week, and I know he'd like
to see them on me."
Diana pursed up her lips, put her black head on one
side critically, and finally pronounced in favor of the beads, which were
thereupon tied around Anne's slim milk-white throat.
"There's
something so stylish about you, Anne," said Diana, with unenvious admiration.
"You hold your head with such an air. I suppose it's your figure. I am just a
dumpling. I've always been afraid of it, and now I know it is so. Well, I
suppose I shall just have to resign myself to it."
"But you have such
dimples," said Anne, smiling affectionately into the pretty, vivacious face
so near her own. "Lovely dimples, like little dents in cream. I have given up
all hope of dimples. My dimple-dream will never come true; but so many of my
dreams have that I mustn't complain. Am I all ready now?"
"All ready,"
assured Diana, as Marilla appeared in the doorway, a gaunt figure with grayer
hair than of yore and no fewer angles, but with a much softer face. "Come
right in and look at our elocutionist, Marilla. Doesn't she look
lovely?"
Marilla emitted a sound between a sniff and a grunt.
"She
looks neat and proper. I like that way of fixing her hair. But I expect
she'll ruin that dress driving over there in the dust and dew with it, and it
looks most too thin for these damp nights. Organdy's the most unserviceable
stuff in the world anyhow, and I told Matthew so when he got it. But there is
no use in saying anything to Matthew nowadays. Time was when he would take my
advice, but now he just buys things for Anne regardless, and the clerks at
Carmody know they can palm anything off on him. Just let them tell him a
thing is pretty and fashionable, and Matthew plunks his money down for it.
Mind you keep your skirt clear of the wheel, Anne, and put your warm jacket
on."
Then Marilla stalked downstairs, thinking proudly how sweet Anne
looked, with that
"One moonbeam from the forehead to the
crown"
and regretting that she could not go to the concert herself to
hear her girl recite.
"I wonder if it IS too damp for my dress," said
Anne anxiously.
"Not a bit of it," said Diana, pulling up the window
blind. "It's a perfect night, and there won't be any dew. Look at the
moonlight."
"I'm so glad my window looks east into the sunrising," said
Anne, going over to Diana. "It's so splendid to see the morning coming up
over those long hills and glowing through those sharp fir tops. It's new
every morning, and I feel as if I washed my very soul in that bath of
earliest sunshine. Oh, Diana, I love this little room so dearly. I don't know
how I'll get along without it when I go to town next month."
"Don't
speak of your going away tonight," begged Diana. "I don't want to think of
it, it makes me so miserable, and I do want to have a good time this evening.
What are you going to recite, Anne? And are you nervous?"
"Not a bit.
I've recited so often in public I don't mind at all now. I've decided to give
'The Maiden's Vow.' It's so pathetic. Laura Spencer is going to give a comic
recitation, but I'd rather make people cry than laugh."
"What will you
recite if they encore you?"
"They won't dream of encoring me," scoffed
Anne, who was not without her own secret hopes that they would, and already
visioned herself telling Matthew all about it at the next morning's breakfast
table. "There are Billy and Jane now--I hear the wheels. Come
on."
Billy Andrews insisted that Anne should ride on the front seat with
him, so she unwillingly climbed up. She would have much preferred to
sit back with the girls, where she could have laughed and chattered to
her heart's content. There was not much of either laughter or chatter in
Billy. He was a big, fat, stolid youth of twenty, with a
round, expressionless face, and a painful lack of conversational gifts. But
he admired Anne immensely, and was puffed up with pride over the
prospect of driving to White Sands with that slim, upright figure beside
him.
Anne, by dint of talking over her shoulder to the girls and
occasionally passing a sop of civility to Billy--who grinned and chuckled and
never could think of any reply until it was too late--contrived to enjoy
the drive in spite of all. It was a night for enjoyment. The road was
full of buggies, all bound for the hotel, and laughter, silver clear,
echoed and reechoed along it. When they reached the hotel it was a blaze
of light from top to bottom. They were met by the ladies of the
concert committee, one of whom took Anne off to the performers' dressing
room which was filled with the members of a Charlottetown Symphony
Club, among whom Anne felt suddenly shy and frightened and countrified.
Her dress, which, in the east gable, had seemed so dainty and pretty,
now seemed simple and plain--too simple and plain, she thought, among
all the silks and laces that glistened and rustled around her. What were
her pearl beads compared to the diamonds of the big, handsome lady near
her? And how poor her one wee white rose must look beside all the
hothouse flowers the others wore! Anne laid her hat and jacket away, and
shrank miserably into a corner. She wished herself back in the white room
at Green Gables.
It was still worse on the platform of the big concert
hall of the hotel, where she presently found herself. The electric lights
dazzled her eyes, the perfume and hum bewildered her. She wished she were
sitting down in the audience with Diana and Jane, who seemed to be having a
splendid time away at the back. She was wedged in between a stout lady in
pink silk and a tall, scornful-looking girl in a white-lace dress. The
stout lady occasionally turned her head squarely around and surveyed
Anne through her eyeglasses until Anne, acutely sensitive of being
so scrutinized, felt that she must scream aloud; and the white-lace
girl kept talking audibly to her next neighbor about the "country
bumpkins" and "rustic belles" in the audience, languidly anticipating "such
fun" from the displays of local talent on the program. Anne believed that
she would hate that white-lace girl to the end of life.
Unfortunately
for Anne, a professional elocutionist was staying at the hotel and had
consented to recite. She was a lithe, dark-eyed woman in a wonderful gown of
shimmering gray stuff like woven moonbeams, with gems on her neck and in her
dark hair. She had a marvelously flexible voice and wonderful power of
expression; the audience went wild over her selection. Anne, forgetting all
about herself and her troubles for the time, listened with rapt and shining
eyes; but when the recitation ended she suddenly put her hands over her face.
She could never get up and recite after that--never. Had she ever thought she
could recite? Oh, if she were only back at Green Gables!
At this
unpropitious moment her name was called. Somehow Anne--who did not notice the
rather guilty little start of surprise the white-lace girl gave, and would
not have understood the subtle compliment implied therein if she had--got on
her feet, and moved dizzily out to the front. She was so pale that Diana and
Jane, down in the audience, clasped each other's hands in nervous
sympathy.
Anne was the victim of an overwhelming attack of stage fright.
Often as she had recited in public, she had never before faced such an
audience as this, and the sight of it paralyzed her energies
completely. Everything was so strange, so brilliant, so bewildering--the rows
of ladies in evening dress, the critical faces, the whole atmosphere
of wealth and culture about her. Very different this from the plain
benches at the Debating Club, filled with the homely, sympathetic faces
of friends and neighbors. These people, she thought, would be
merciless critics. Perhaps, like the white-lace girl, they anticipated
amusement from her "rustic" efforts. She felt hopelessly, helplessly ashamed
and miserable. Her knees trembled, her heart fluttered, a horrible
faintness came over her; not a word could she utter, and the next moment she
would have fled from the platform despite the humiliation which, she
felt, must ever after be her portion if she did so.
But suddenly, as
her dilated, frightened eyes gazed out over the audience, she saw Gilbert
Blythe away at the back of the room, bending forward with a smile on his
face--a smile which seemed to Anne at once triumphant and taunting. In
reality it was nothing of the kind. Gilbert was merely smiling with
appreciation of the whole affair in general and of the effect produced by
Anne's slender white form and spiritual face against a background of palms in
particular. Josie Pye, whom he had driven over, sat beside him, and her face
certainly was both triumphant and taunting. But Anne did not see Josie, and
would not have cared if she had. She drew a long breath and flung her head up
proudly, courage and determination tingling over her like an electric shock.
She WOULD NOT fail before Gilbert Blythe--he should never be able to laugh at
her, never, never! Her fright and nervousness vanished; and she began
her recitation, her clear, sweet voice reaching to the farthest corner
of the room without a tremor or a break. Self-possession was fully
restored to her, and in the reaction from that horrible moment of
powerlessness she recited as she had never done before. When she finished
there were bursts of honest applause. Anne, stepping back to her seat,
blushing with shyness and delight, found her hand vigorously clasped and
shaken by the stout lady in pink silk.
"My dear, you did splendidly,"
she puffed. "I've been crying like a baby, actually I have. There, they're
encoring you--they're bound to have you back!"
"Oh, I can't go," said
Anne confusedly. "But yet--I must, or Matthew will be disappointed. He said
they would encore me."
"Then don't disappoint Matthew," said the pink
lady, laughing.
Smiling, blushing, limpid eyed, Anne tripped back and
gave a quaint, funny little selection that captivated her audience still
further. The rest of the evening was quite a little triumph for
her.
When the concert was over, the stout, pink lady--who was the wife
of an American millionaire--took her under her wing, and introduced her to
everybody; and everybody was very nice to her. The professional elocutionist,
Mrs. Evans, came and chatted with her, telling her that she had a charming
voice and "interpreted" her selections beautifully. Even the white-lace girl
paid her a languid little compliment. They had supper in the big, beautifully
decorated dining room; Diana and Jane were invited to partake of this, also,
since they had come with Anne, but Billy was nowhere to be found, having
decamped in mortal fear of some such invitation. He was in waiting for them,
with the team, however, when it was all over, and the three girls came
merrily out into the calm, white moonshine radiance. Anne breathed deeply,
and looked into the clear sky beyond the dark boughs of the firs.
Oh,
it was good to be out again in the purity and silence of the night! How great
and still and wonderful everything was, with the murmur of the sea sounding
through it and the darkling cliffs beyond like grim giants guarding enchanted
coasts.
"Hasn't it been a perfectly splendid time?" sighed Jane, as they
drove away. "I just wish I was a rich American and could spend my summer
at a hotel and wear jewels and low-necked dresses and have ice cream
and chicken salad every blessed day. I'm sure it would be ever so
much more fun than teaching school. Anne, your recitation was simply
great, although I thought at first you were never going to begin. I think
it was better than Mrs. Evans's."
"Oh, no, don't say things like that,
Jane," said Anne quickly, "because it sounds silly. It couldn't be better
than Mrs. Evans's, you know, for she is a professional, and I'm only a
schoolgirl, with a little knack of reciting. I'm quite satisfied if the
people just liked mine pretty well."
"I've a compliment for you,
Anne," said Diana. "At least I think it must be a compliment because of the
tone he said it in. Part of it was anyhow. There was an American sitting
behind Jane and me--such a romantic-looking man, with coal-black hair and
eyes. Josie Pye says he is a distinguished artist, and that her mother's
cousin in Boston is married to a man that used to go to school with him.
Well, we heard him say--didn't we, Jane?--'Who is that girl on the platform
with the splendid Titian hair? She has a face I should like to paint.' There
now, Anne. But what does Titian hair mean?"
"Being interpreted it
means plain red, I guess," laughed Anne. "Titian was a very famous artist who
liked to paint red-haired women."
"DID you see all the diamonds those
ladies wore?" sighed Jane. "They were simply dazzling. Wouldn't you just love
to be rich, girls?"
"We ARE rich," said Anne staunchly. "Why, we have
sixteen years to our credit, and we're happy as queens, and we've all got
imaginations, more or less. Look at that sea, girls--all silver and shadow
and vision of things not seen. We couldn't enjoy its loveliness any more if
we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds. You wouldn't change into
any of those women if you could. Would you want to be that white-lace
girl and wear a sour look all your life, as if you'd been born turning
up your nose at the world? Or the pink lady, kind and nice as she is,
so stout and short that you'd really no figure at all? Or even Mrs.
Evans, with that sad, sad look in her eyes? She must have been
dreadfully unhappy sometime to have such a look. You KNOW you wouldn't,
Jane Andrews!"
"I DON'T know--exactly," said Jane unconvinced. "I
think diamonds would comfort a person for a good deal."
"Well, I don't
want to be anyone but myself, even if I go uncomforted by diamonds all my
life," declared Anne. "I'm quite content to be Anne of Green Gables, with my
string of pearl beads. I know Matthew gave me as much love with them as ever
went with Madame the Pink Lady's jewels."
CHAPTER XXXIV. A
Queen's Girl
The next three weeks were busy ones at Green Gables, for
Anne was getting ready to go to Queen's, and there was much sewing to be
done, and many things to be talked over and arranged. Anne's outfit
was ample and pretty, for Matthew saw to that, and Marilla for once
made no objections whatever to anything he purchased or suggested.
More--one evening she went up to the east gable with her arms full of a
delicate pale green material.
"Anne, here's something for a nice light
dress for you. I don't suppose you really need it; you've plenty of pretty
waists; but I thought maybe you'd like something real dressy to wear if you
were asked out anywhere of an evening in town, to a party or anything like
that. I hear that Jane and Ruby and Josie have got 'evening dresses,' as they
call them, and I don't mean you shall be behind them. I got Mrs. Allan to
help me pick it in town last week, and we'll get Emily Gillis to make it
for you. Emily has got taste, and her fits aren't to be equaled."
"Oh,
Marilla, it's just lovely," said Anne. "Thank you so much. I don't believe
you ought to be so kind to me--it's making it harder every day for me to go
away."
The green dress was made up with as many tucks and frills and
shirrings as Emily's taste permitted. Anne put it on one evening for
Matthew's and Marilla's benefit, and recited "The Maiden's Vow" for them in
the kitchen. As Marilla watched the bright, animated face and
graceful motions her thoughts went back to the evening Anne had arrived at
Green Gables, and memory recalled a vivid picture of the odd, frightened
child in her preposterous yellowish-brown wincey dress, the heartbreak
looking out of her tearful eyes. Something in the memory brought tears
to Marilla's own eyes.
"I declare, my recitation has made you cry,
Marilla," said Anne gaily stooping over Marilla's chair to drop a butterfly
kiss on that lady's cheek. "Now, I call that a positive triumph."
"No,
I wasn't crying over your piece," said Marilla, who would have scorned to be
betrayed into such weakness by any poetry stuff. "I just couldn't help
thinking of the little girl you used to be, Anne. And I was wishing you could
have stayed a little girl, even with all your queer ways. You've grown up now
and you're going away; and you look so tall and stylish and so--so--different
altogether in that dress--as if you didn't belong in Avonlea at all--and I
just got lonesome thinking it all over."
"Marilla!" Anne sat down on
Marilla's gingham lap, took Marilla's lined face between her hands, and
looked gravely and tenderly into Marilla's eyes. "I'm not a bit changed--not
really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out. The real ME--back
here--is just the same. It won't make a bit of difference where I go or how
much I change outwardly; at heart I shall always be your little Anne, who
will love you and Matthew and dear Green Gables more and better every day of
her life."
Anne laid her fresh young cheek against Marilla's faded one,
and reached out a hand to pat Matthew's shoulder. Marilla would have given
much just then to have possessed Anne's power of putting her feelings into
words; but nature and habit had willed it otherwise, and she could only put
her arms close about her girl and hold her tenderly to her heart,
wishing that she need never let her go.
Matthew, with a suspicious
moisture in his eyes, got up and went out-of-doors. Under the stars of the
blue summer night he walked agitatedly across the yard to the gate under the
poplars.
"Well now, I guess she ain't been much spoiled," he muttered,
proudly. "I guess my putting in my oar occasional never did much harm after
all. She's smart and pretty, and loving, too, which is better than all
the rest. She's been a blessing to us, and there never was a luckier
mistake than what Mrs. Spencer made--if it WAS luck. I don't believe it was
any such thing. It was Providence, because the Almighty saw we needed her,
I reckon."
The day finally came when Anne must go to town. She and
Matthew drove in one fine September morning, after a tearful parting with
Diana and an untearful practical one--on Marilla's side at least--with
Marilla. But when Anne had gone Diana dried her tears and went to a beach
picnic at White Sands with some of her Carmody cousins, where she
contrived to enjoy herself tolerably well; while Marilla plunged fiercely
into unnecessary work and kept at it all day long with the bitterest kind
of heartache--the ache that burns and gnaws and cannot wash itself away in
ready tears. But that night, when Marilla went to bed, acutely and miserably
conscious that the little gable room at the end of the hall was untenanted by
any vivid young life and unstirred by any soft breathing, she buried her face
in her pillow, and wept for her girl in a passion of sobs that appalled her
when she grew calm enough to reflect how very wicked it must be to take on so
about a sinful fellow creature.
Anne and the rest of the Avonlea scholars
reached town just in time to hurry off to the Academy. That first day passed
pleasantly enough in a whirl of excitement, meeting all the new students,
learning to know the professors by sight and being assorted and organized
into classes. Anne intended taking up the Second Year work being advised to
do so by Miss Stacy; Gilbert Blythe elected to do the same. This meant
getting a First Class teacher's license in one year instead of two, if they
were successful; but it also meant much more and harder work. Jane,
Ruby, Josie, Charlie, and Moody Spurgeon, not being troubled with
the stirrings of ambition, were content to take up the Second Class
work. Anne was conscious of a pang of loneliness when she found herself
in a room with fifty other students, not one of whom she knew, except
the tall, brown-haired boy across the room; and knowing him in the
fashion she did, did not help her much, as she reflected
pessimistically. Yet she was undeniably glad that they were in the same
class; the old rivalry could still be carried on, and Anne would hardly have
known what to do if it had been lacking.
"I wouldn't feel comfortable
without it," she thought. "Gilbert looks awfully determined. I suppose he's
making up his mind, here and now, to win the medal. What a splendid chin he
has! I never noticed it before. I do wish Jane and Ruby had gone in for First
Class, too. I suppose I won't feel so much like a cat in a strange garret
when I get acquainted, though. I wonder which of the girls here are going to
be my friends. It's really an interesting speculation. Of course I promised
Diana that no Queen's girl, no matter how much I liked her, should ever be as
dear to me as she is; but I've lots of second-best affections to bestow.
I like the look of that girl with the brown eyes and the crimson
waist. She looks vivid and red-rosy; there's that pale, fair one gazing out
of the window. She has lovely hair, and looks as if she knew a thing or
two about dreams. I'd like to know them both--know them well--well enough
to walk with my arm about their waists, and call them nicknames. But
just now I don't know them and they don't know me, and probably don't want
to know me particularly. Oh, it's lonesome!"
It was lonesomer still
when Anne found herself alone in her hall bedroom that night at twilight. She
was not to board with the other girls, who all had relatives in town to take
pity on them. Miss Josephine Barry would have liked to board her, but
Beechwood was so far from the Academy that it was out of the question; so
Miss Barry hunted up a boarding-house, assuring Matthew and Marilla that it
was the very place for Anne.
"The lady who keeps it is a reduced
gentlewoman," explained Miss Barry. "Her husband was a British officer, and
she is very careful what sort of boarders she takes. Anne will not meet with
any objectionable persons under her roof. The table is good, and the house is
near the Academy, in a quiet neighborhood."
All this might be quite
true, and indeed, proved to be so, but it did not materially help Anne in the
first agony of homesickness that seized upon her. She looked dismally about
her narrow little room, with its dull-papered, pictureless walls, its small
iron bedstead and empty book-case; and a horrible choke came into her throat
as she thought of her own white room at Green Gables, where she would have
the pleasant consciousness of a great green still outdoors, of sweet peas
growing in the garden, and moonlight falling on the orchard, of the brook
below the slope and the spruce boughs tossing in the night wind beyond it, of
a vast starry sky, and the light from Diana's window shining out
through the gap in the trees. Here there was nothing of this; Anne knew
that outside of her window was a hard street, with a network of
telephone wires shutting out the sky, the tramp of alien feet, and a
thousand lights gleaming on stranger faces. She knew that she was going to
cry, and fought against it.
"I WON'T cry. It's silly--and
weak--there's the third tear splashing down by my nose. There are more
coming! I must think of something funny to stop them. But there's nothing
funny except what is connected with Avonlea, and that only makes things
worse--four--five--I'm going home next Friday, but that seems a hundred years
away. Oh, Matthew is nearly home by now--and Marilla is at the gate, looking
down the lane for him--six--seven--eight--oh, there's no use in counting
them! They're coming in a flood presently. I can't cheer up--I don't WANT to
cheer up. It's nicer to be miserable!"
The flood of tears would have
come, no doubt, had not Josie Pye appeared at that moment. In the joy of
seeing a familiar face Anne forgot that there had never been much love lost
between her and Josie. As a part of Avonlea life even a Pye was
welcome.
"I'm so glad you came up," Anne said sincerely.
"You've
been crying," remarked Josie, with aggravating pity. "I suppose you're
homesick--some people have so little self-control in that respect. I've no
intention of being homesick, I can tell you. Town's too jolly after that poky
old Avonlea. I wonder how I ever existed there so long. You shouldn't cry,
Anne; it isn't becoming, for your nose and eyes get red, and then you seem
ALL red. I'd a perfectly scrumptious time in the Academy today. Our French
professor is simply a duck. His moustache would give you kerwollowps of the
heart. Have you anything eatable around, Anne? I'm literally starving. Ah, I
guessed likely Marilla'd load you up with cake. That's why I called round.
Otherwise I'd have gone to the park to hear the band play with Frank
Stockley. He boards same place as I do, and he's a sport. He noticed you in
class today, and asked me who the red-headed girl was. I told him you were an
orphan that the Cuthberts had adopted, and nobody knew very much about what
you'd been before that."
Anne was wondering if, after all, solitude
and tears were not more satisfactory than Josie Pye's companionship when Jane
and Ruby appeared, each with an inch of Queen's color ribbon--purple and
scarlet--pinned proudly to her coat. As Josie was not "speaking" to Jane just
then she had to subside into comparative harmlessness.
"Well," said
Jane with a sigh, "I feel as if I'd lived many moons since the morning. I
ought to be home studying my Virgil--that horrid old professor gave us twenty
lines to start in on tomorrow. But I simply couldn't settle down to study
tonight. Anne, methinks I see the traces of tears. If you've been crying DO
own up. It will restore my self-respect, for I was shedding tears freely
before Ruby came along. I don't mind being a goose so much if somebody else
is goosey, too. Cake? You'll give me a teeny piece, won't you? Thank you. It
has the real Avonlea flavor."
Ruby, perceiving the Queen's calendar
lying on the table, wanted to know if Anne meant to try for the gold
medal.
Anne blushed and admitted she was thinking of it.
"Oh, that
reminds me," said Josie, "Queen's is to get one of the Avery scholarships
after all. The word came today. Frank Stockley told me--his uncle is one of
the board of governors, you know. It will be announced in the Academy
tomorrow."
An Avery scholarship! Anne felt her heart beat more quickly,
and the horizons of her ambition shifted and broadened as if by magic.
Before Josie had told the news Anne's highest pinnacle of aspiration had
been a teacher's provincial license, First Class, at the end of the year,
and perhaps the medal! But now in one moment Anne saw herself winning the
Avery scholarship, taking an Arts course at Redmond College, and graduating
in a gown and mortar board, before the echo of Josie's words had died away.
For the Avery scholarship was in English, and Anne felt that here her foot
was on native heath. |
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