THE THIRTY-EIGHTH CHAPTER
Of the deceipt of a Woman which made her husband Cuckold.
There was a man dwelling in the towne very poore, that had nothing but
that which he got by the labour and travell of his hands: his wife was
a faire young woman, but very lascivious, and given to the appetite and
desire of the flesh. It fortuned on a day, that while this poore man was
gone betimes in the morning to the field about his businesse, according
as he accustomed to doe, his wives lover secretly came into his house to
have his pleasure with her. And so it chanced that during the time
that shee and he were basking together, her husband suspecting no such
matter, returned home praising the chast continency of his wife, in
that hee found his doores fast closed, wherefore as his custome was, he
whistled to declare his comming. Then his crafty wife ready with shifts,
caught her lover and covered him under a great tub standing in a corner,
and therewithall she opened the doore, blaming her husband in this sort:
Commest thou home every day with empty hands, and bringest nothing
to maintaine our house? thou hast no regard for our profit, neither
providest for any meate or drinke, whereas I poore wretch doe nothing
day and night but occupie my selfe with spinning, and yet my travell
will scarce find the Candels which we spend. O how much more happy is my
neighbour Daphne, that eateth and drinketh at her pleasure and passeth
the time with her amorous lovers according to her desire. What is the
matter (quoth her husband) though Our Master hath made holiday at the
fields, yet thinke not but I have made provision for our supper; doest
thou not see this tub that keepeth a place here in our house in vaine,
and doth us no service? Behold I have sold it to a good fellow (that is
here present) for five pence, wherefore I pray thee lend me thy hand,
that I may deliver him the tub. His wife (having invented a present
shift) laughed on her husband, saying: What marchant I pray you have you
brought home hither, to fetch away my tub for five pence, for which I
poore woman that sit all day alone in my house have beene proffered so
often seaven: her husband being well apayed of her words demanded what
he was that had bought the tub: Looke (quoth she) he is gone under, to
see where it be sound or no: then her lover which was under the tub,
began to stirre and rustle himselfe, and because his words might agree
to the words of the woman, he sayd: Dame will you have me tell the
truth, this tub is rotten and crackt as me seemeth on every side. And
then turning to her husband sayd: I pray you honest man light a Candle,
that I may make cleane the tub within, to see if it be for my purpose
or no, for I doe not mind to cast away my money wilfully: he by and
by (being made a very Oxe) lighted a candle, saying, I pray you good
brother put not your selfe to so much paine, let me make the tub cleane
and ready for you. Whereupon he put off his coate, and crept under
the tub to rub away the filth from the sides. In the meane season
this minion lover cast his wife on the bottome of the tub and had his
pleasure with her over his head, and as he was in the middest of his
pastime, hee turned his head on this side and that side, finding fault
with this and with that, till as they had both ended their businesse,
when as he delivered seaven pence for the tub, and caused the good man
himselfe to carry it on his backe againe to his Inne.
THE THIRTY-NINTH CHAPTER
How the Priests of the goddesse Siria were taken and put in prison, and
how Apuleius was sold to a Baker.
After that we had tarried there a few dayes at the cost and charges
of the whole Village, and had gotten much mony by our divination and
prognostication of things to come: The priests of the goddesse Siria
invented a new meanes to picke mens purses, for they had certaine lotts,
whereon were written:
Coniuncti terram proscindunt boves ut in futurum loeta germinent sata
That is to say: The Oxen tied and yoked together, doe till the ground to
the intent it may bring forth his increase: and by these kind of lottes
they deceive many of the simple sort, for if one had demanded whether he
should have a good wife or no, they would say that his lot did testifie
the same, that he should be tyed and yoked to a good woman and have
increase of children. If one demanded whether he should buy lands and
possession, they said that he should have much ground that should
yeeld his increase. If one demanded whether he should have a good and
prosperous voyage, they said he should have good successe, and it should
be for the increase of his profit. If one demanded whether hee should
vanquish his enemies, and prevaile in pursuite of theeves, they said
that this enemy should be tyed and yoked to him: and his pursuits after
theeves should be prosperous. Thus by the telling of fortunes, they
gathered a great quantity of money, but when they were weary with giving
of answers, they drave me away before them next night, through a lane
which was more dangerous and stony then the way which we went the night
before, for on the one side were quagmires and foggy marshes, on the
other side were falling trenches and ditches, whereby my legges failed
me, in such sort that I could scarce come to the plaine field pathes.
And behold by and by a great company of inhabitants of the towne armed
with weapons and on horsebacke overtooke us, and incontinently arresting
Philebus and his Priests, tied them by the necks and beate them cruelly,
calling them theeves and robbers, and after they had manacled their
hands: Shew us (quoth they) the cup of gold, which (under the colour of
your solemne religion) ye have taken away, and now ye thinke to escape
in the night without punishment for your fact. By and by one came
towards me, and thrusting his hand into the bosome of the goddesse
Siria, brought out the cup which they had stole. Howbeit for all they
appeared evident and plaine they would not be confounded nor abashed,
but jesting and laughing out the matter, gan say: Is it reason masters
that you should thus rigorously intreat us, and threaten for a small
trifling cup, which the mother of the Goddesse determined to give to her
sister for a present? Howbeit for all their lyes and cavellations, they
were carryed backe unto the towne, and put in prison by the Inhabitants,
who taking the cup of gold, and the goddesse which I bare, did put and
consecrate them amongst the treasure of the temple. The next day I was
carryed to the market to be sold, and my price was set at seaven pence
more then Philebus gave for me. There fortuned to passe by a Baker of
the next village, who after that he had bought a great deale of corne,
bought me likewise to carry it home, and when he had well laded me
therewith, be drave me through a thorny and dangerous way to his bake
house; there I saw a great company of horses that went in the mill day
and night grinding of corne, but lest I should be discouraged at the
first, my master entertained me well, for the first day I did nothing
but fare daintily, howbeit such mine ease and felicity did not long
endure, for the next day following I was tyed to the mill betimes in
the morning with my face covered, to the end in turning amid winding so
often one way, I should not become giddy, but keepe a certaine course,
but although when I was a man I had seen many such horsemills and knew
well enough how they should be turned, yet feining my selfe ignorant of
such kind of toile, I stood still and would not goe, whereby I thought
I should be taken from the mill as an Asse unapt, and put to some other
light thing, or else to be driven into the fields to pasture, but my
subtility did me small good, for by and by when the mill stood still,
the servants came about me, crying and beating me forward, in such
sort that I could not stay to advise my selfe, whereby all the company
laughed to see so suddaine a change. When a good part of the day was
past, that I was not able to endure any longer, they tooke off my
harnesse, and tied me to the manger, but although my bones were weary,
and that I needed to refresh my selfe with rest and provender, yet I was
so curious that I did greatly delight to behold the bakers art, insomuch
that I could not eate nor drinke while I looked on.
O good Lord what a sort of poore slaves were there; some had their
skinne blacke and blew, some had their backes striped with lashes, some
were covered with rugged sackes, some had their members onely hidden:
some wore such ragged clouts, that you might perceive all their naked
bodies, some were marked and burned in the heads with hot yrons, some
had their haire halfe clipped, some had lockes of their legges, some
very ugly and evill favoured, that they could scarce see, their eyes and
face were so blacke and dimme with smoake, like those that fight in the
sands, and know not where they strike by reason of dust: And some
had their faces all mealy. But how should I speake of the horses my
companions, how they being old and weake, thrust their heads into the
manger: they had their neckes all wounded and worne away: they rated
their nosethrilles with a continuall cough, their sides were bare with
their harnesse and great travell, their ribs were broken with beating,
their hooves were battered broad with incessant labour, and their skinne
rugged by reason of their lancknesse. When I saw this dreadfull sight,
I began to feare, least I should come to the like state: and considering
with my selfe the good fortune which I was sometime in when I was a man,
I greatly lamented, holding downe my head, and would eate no meate, but
I saw no comfort or consolation of my evill fortune, saving that my mind
was somewhat recreated to heare and understand what every man said, for
they neither feared nor doubted my presence. At that time I remembred
how Homer the divine author of ancient Poetry, described him to be a
wise man, which had travelled divers countries and nations, wherefore I
gave great thanks to my Asse for me, in that by this meanes I had seene
the experience of many things, and was become more wise (notwithstanding
the great misery and labour which I daily sustained): but I will tell
you a pretty jest, which commeth now to my remembrance, to the intent
your eares may be delighted in hearing the same.
THE FORTIETH CHAPTER
How Apuleius was handled by the Bakers wife, which was a harlot.
The Baker which bought me was an honest and sober man; but his wife was
the most pestilent woman in all the world, insomuch that he endured many
miseries and afflictions with her, so that I my selfe did secretly pitty
his estate, and bewaile his evill fortune: for she had not one fault
alone, but all the mischiefes that could be devised: shee was crabbed,
cruell, lascivious, drunken, obstinate, niggish, covetous, riotous in
filthy expenses, and an enemy to faith and chastity, a despise of all
the Gods, whom other did honour, one that affirmed that she had a God
by her selfe, wherby she deceived all men, but especially her poore
husband, one that abandoned her body with continuall whoredome. This
mischievous queane hated me in such sort, that shee commanded every day
before she was up, that I should he put into the mill to grind: and the
first thing which she would doe in the morning, was to see me cruelly
beaten, and that I should grind when the other beasts did feed and take
rest. When I saw that I was so cruelly handled, she gave me occasion to
learne her conversation and life, for I saw oftentimes a yong man which
would privily goe into her chamber whose face I did greatly desire to
see, but I could not by reason mine eyes were covered every day. And
verily if I had beene free and at liberty, I would have discovered all
her abhomination. She had an old woman, a bawd, a messenger of mischiefe
that daily haunted to her house, and made good cheere with her to the
utter undoing and impoverishment of her husband, but I that was greatly
offended with the negligence of Fotis, who made me an Asse, in stead
of a Bird, did yet comfort my selfe by this onely meane, in that to the
miserable deformity of my shape, I had long eares, whereby I might
heare all things that was done: On a day I heard the old bawd say to the
Bakers wife:
Dame you have chosen (without my counsell) a young man to your
lover, who as me seemeth, is dull, fearefull, without any grace, and
dastard-like coucheth at the frowning looke of your odious husband,
whereby you have no delight nor pleasure with him: how farre better is
the young man Philesiterus who is comely, beautifull, in the flower of
his youth, liberall, courteous, valiant and stout against the diligent
pries and watches of your husband, whereby to embrace the worthiest
dames of this country, and worthy to weare a crowne of gold, for one
part that he played to one that was jealous over his wife. Hearken how
it was and then judge the diversity of these two Lovers: Know you
not one Barbarus a Senator of our towne, whom the vulgar people call
likewise Scorpion for his severity of manners? This Barbarus had a
gentlewoman to his wife, whom he caused daily to be enclosed within his
house, with diligent custody. Then the Bakers wife said, I know her very
well, for we two dwelleth together in one house: Then you know (quoth
the old woman) the whole tale of Philesiterus? No verily (said she) but
I greatly desire to know it: therefore I pray you mother tell me the
whole story. By and by the old woman which knew well to babble, began to
tell as followeth.
THE FORTY-FIRST CHAPTER
How Barbarus being jealous over his wife, commanded that shee should be
kept close in his house, and what happened.
You shall understand that on a day this Barbarus preparing himselfe to
ride abroad, and willing to keepe the chastity of his wife (whom he so
well loved) alone to himselfe, called his man Myrmex (whose faith he
had tryed and proved in many things) and secretly committed to him the
custody of his wife, willing him that he should threaten, that if any
man did but touch her with his finger as he passed by, he would not
onely put him in prison, and bind him hand and foote, but also cause
him to be put to death, or else to be famished for lacke of sustenance,
which words he confirmed by an oath of all the Gods in heaven, and so
departed away: When Barbarus was gone, Myrmex being greatly astonied of
his masters threatnings, would not suffer his mistresse to goe abroad,
but as she sate all day a Spinning, he was so carefull that he sate by
her; when night came he went with her to the baines, holding her by the
garment, so faithfull he was to fulfill the commandement of his master:
Howbeit the beauty of this matron could not be hidden from the burning
eyes of Philesiterus, who considering her great chastity and how she was
diligently kept by Myrmex, thought it impossible to have his purpose,
yet (indeavouring by all kind of meanes to enterprise the matter, and
remembring the fragility of man, that might be intised and corrupted
with money, since as by gold the adamant gates may be opened) on a day,
when he found Myrmex alone, he discovered his love, desiring him to shew
his favour, (otherwise he should certainly dye) with assurance that
he need not to feare when as he might privily be let in and out in the
night, without knowledge of any person. When he thought, with these and
other gentle words to allure and prick forward the obstinate mind of
Myrmex he shewed him glittering gold in his hand, saying that he would
give his mistresse twenty crowns and him ten, but Myrmex hearing these
words, was greatly troubled, abhorring in his mind to commit such a
mischiefe: wherfore he stopped his eares, and turning his head departed
away: howbeit the glittering view of these crownes could never be out of
his mind, but being at home he seemed to see the money before his eyes,
which was so worthy a prey, wherefore poore Myrmex being in divers
opinions could not tell what to doe, for on the one side lie considered
the promise which he made to his master, and the punishment that should
ensue if he did contrary. On the other side he thought of the gaine, and
the passing pleasure of the crownes of gold; in the end the desire of
the money did more prevaile then the feare of death, for the beauty
of the flowrishing crownes did so sticke in his mind, that where the
menaces of his master compelled him to tarry at home, the pestilent
avarice of gold egged him out a doores, wherefore putting all shame
aside, without further delay, he declared all the whole matter to his
Mistresse, who according to the nature of a woman, when she heard him
speake of so great a summe she bound chastity in a string, and gave
authority to Myrmex to rule her in that case. Myrmex seeing the intent
of his Mistresse, was very glad, and for great desire of the gold, he
ran hastily to Philesiterus, declaring that his Mistresse was consented
to his mind, wherefore he demanded the gold which he promised. Then
incontinently Philesiterus delivered him tenne Crownes, and when night
came, Myrmex brought him disguised into his mistresses Chamber. About
Midnight when he and she were naked together, making sacrifice unto the
Goddesse Venus, behold her husband (contrary to their expectation)
came and knocked at the doore, calling with a loud voice to his Servant
Myrmex: whose long tarrying increased the suspition of his Master,
in such sort that he threatned to beat Myrmex cruelly: but he being
troubled with feare, and driven to his latter shifts, excused the matter
saying: that he could not find the key: by reason it was so darke. In
the meane season Philesiterus hearing the noise at the doore, slipt on
his coat and privily ran out of the Chamber. When Myrmex had opened the
doore to his Master that threatned terribly, and had let him in, he
went into the Chamber to his wife: In the mean while Myrmex let out
Philesiterus, and barred the doores fast, and went againe to bed. The
next morning when Barbarus awaked, he perceived two unknown slippers
lying under his bed, which Philesiterus had forgotten when he went away.
Then he conceived a great suspition and jealousie in mind, howbeit he
would not discover it to his wife, neither to any other person, but
putting secretly the slippers into his bosome, commanded his other
Servants to bind Myrmex incontinently, and to bring him bound to the
Justice after him, thinking verily that by the meane of the slippers he
might boult out the matter. It fortuned that while Barbarus went towards
the Justice in a fury and rage, and Myrmex fast bound, followed him
weeping, not because he was accused before his master, but by reason he
knew his owne conscience guilty: behold by adventure Philesiterus (going
about earnest businesse) fortuned to meet with them by the way, who
fearing the matter which he committed the night before, and doubting
lest it should be knowne, did suddainly invent a meane to excuse Myrmex,
for he ran upon him and beate him about the head with his fists, saying:
Ah mischievous varlet that thou art, and perjured knave. It were a good
deed if the Goddesse and thy master here, would put thee to death, for
thou art worthy to be imprisoned and to weare out these yrons, that
stalest my slippers away when thou werest at my baines yester night.
Barbarus hearing this returned incontinently home, and called his
servant Myrmex, commanding him to deliver the slippers againe to the
right owner.
The old woman had scant finished her tale when the Bakers wife gan say:
Verily she is blessed and most blessed, that hath the fruition of so
worthy a lover, but as for me poore miser, I am fallen into the hands of
a coward, who is not onely afraid of my husband but also of every clap
of the mill, and dares not doe nothing, before the blind face of yonder
scabbed Asse. Then the old woman answered, I promise you certainly
if you will, you shall have this young man at your pleasure, and
therewithall when night came, she departed out of her chamber. In the
meane season, the Bakers wife made ready a supper with abundance of wine
and exquisite fare: so that there lacked nothing, but the comming of the
young man, for her husband supped at one of her neighbours houses. When
time came that my harnesse should be taken off and that I should rest my
selfe, I was not so joyfull of my liberty, as when the vaile was taken
from mine eyes, I should see all the abhomination of this mischievous
queane. When night was come and the Sunne gone downe, behold the old
bawd and the young man, who seemed to be but a child, by reason he had
no beard, came to the doore. Then the Bakers wife kissed him a thousand
times and received him courteously, placed him downe at the table: but
he had scarce eaten the first morsell, when the good man (contrary to
his wives expectation) returned home, for she thought he would not have
come so soone: but Lord how she cursed him, praying God that he might
breake his necke at the first entry in. In the meane season, she caught
her lover and thrust him into the bin where she bolted her flower, and
dissembling the matter, finely came to her husband demanding why he came
home so soone. I could not abide (quoth he) to see so great a mischiefe
and wicked fact, which my neighbours wife committed, but I must run
away: O harlot as she is, how hath she dishonoured her husband, I sweare
by the goddesse Ceres, that if I had [not] seene it with mine eyes, I
would never I have beleeved it. His wife desirous to know the matter,
desired him to tell what she had done: then hee accorded to the request
of his wife, and ignorant of the estate of his own house, declared the
mischance of another. You shall understand (quoth he) that the wife
of the Fuller my companion, who seemed to me a wise and chast woman,
regarding her own honesty and profit of her house, was found this night
with her knave. For while we went to wash our hands, hee and she were
together: who being troubled with our presence ran into a corner, and
she thrust him into a mow made with twigs, appoynted to lay on clothes
to make them white with the smoake of fume and brymstone. Then she sate
down with us at the table to colour the matter: in the meant season the
young man covered in the mow, could not forbeare sneesing, by reason of
the smoake of the brymstone. The good man thinking it had beene his
wife that sneesed, cryed, Christ helpe. But when he sneesed more, he
suspected the matter, and willing to know who it was, rose from the
table, and went to the mow, where hee found a young man welnigh dead
with smoke. When hee understood the whole matter, he was so inflamed
with anger that he called for a sword to kill him, and undoubtedly he
had killed him, had I not restrained his violent hands from his purpose,
assuring him, that his enemy would dye with the force of his brimstone,
without the harme which he should doe. Howbeit my words would not
appease his fury, but as necessity required he tooke the young man well
nigh choked, and carried him out at the doores. In the meane season,
I counsailed his wife to absent her selfe at some of her Neighbours
houses, till the choller of her husband was pacified, lest he should be
moved against her, as he was against the young man. And so being weary
of their supper, I forthwith returned home. When the Baker had told
his tale, his impudent wife began to curse and abhorre the wife of the
Fuller, and generally all other wives, which abandon their bodies with
any other then with their owne Husbands, breaking the faith and bond
of marriage, whereby she said, they were worthy to be burned alive. But
knowing her owne guilty conscience and proper whoredome, lest her lover
should be hurt lying in the bin, she willed her husband to goe to bed,
but he having eaten nothing, said that he would sup before he went to
rest: whereby shee was compelled to maugre her eies, to set such things
on the Table as she had prepared for her lover.
But I, considering the great mischiefe of this wicked queane, devised
with my selfe how I might reveale the matter to my Master, and by
kicking away the cover of the binne (where like a Snaile the young-man
was couched) to make her whoredome apparent and knowne. At length I was
ayded by the providence of God, for there was an old man to whom the
custody of us was committed, that drave me poore Asse, and the other
Horses the same time to the water to drinke; then had I good occasion
ministred, to revenge the injury of my master, for as I passed by, I
perceived the fingers of the young-man upon the side of the binne,
and lifting up my heeles, I spurned off the flesh with the force of
my hoofes, whereby he was compelled to cry out, and to throw downe the
binne on the ground, and so the whoredome of the Bakers wife was knowne
and revealed. The Baker seeing this was not a little moved at the
dishonesty of his wife, but hee tooke the young-man trembling for feare
by the hand, and with cold and courteous words spake in this sort: Feare
not my Sonne, nor thinke that I am so barbarous or cruell a person,
that I would stiffle thee up with the smoke of Sulphur as our neighbour
accustometh, nor I will not punish thee according to the rigour of the
law of Julia, which commandeth the Adulterers should be put to death:
No no, I will not execute my cruelty against so faire and comely a young
man as you be, but we will devide our pleasure betweene us, by lying
all three in one bed, to the end there may be no debate nor dissention
betweene us, but that either of us may be contented, for I have alwayes
lived with my wife in such tranquillity, that according to the saying
of the wisemen, whatsoever I say, she holdeth for law, and indeed equity
will not suffer, but that the husband should beare more authority then
the wife: with these and like words he led the young-man to his Chamber,
and closed his wife in another Chamber. On the next morrow, he called
two of the most sturdiest Servants of his house, who held up the young
man, while he scourged his buttockes welfavouredly with rods like a
child. When he had well beaten him, he said: Art not thou ashamed, thou
that art so tender and delicate a child, to desire the violation of
honest marriages, and to defame thy selfe with wicked living, whereby
thou hast gotten the name of an Adulterer? After he had spoken these and
like words, he whipped him againe, and chased him out of his house. The
young-man who was the comeliest of all the adulterers, ran away, and
did nothing else that night save onely bewaile his striped and painted
buttockes. Soone after the Baker sent one to his wife, who divorced her
away in his name, but she beside her owne naturall mischiefe, (offended
at this great contumely, though she had worthily deserved the same) had
recourse to wicked arts and trumpery, never ceasing untill she had found
out an Enchantresse, who (as it was thought) could doe what she would
with her Sorcery and conjuration. The Bakers wife began to intreate her,
promising that she would largely recompence her, if shee could bring
one of these things to passe, eyther to make that her husband may be
reconciled to her againe, or else if hee would not agree thereto, to
send an ill spirit into him, to dispossesse the spirit of her husband.
Then the witch with her abhominable science, began to conjure and to
make her Ceremonies, to turne the heart of the Baker to his wife, but
all was in vaine, wherefore considering on the one side that she could
not bring her purpose to passe, and on the other side the losse of her
gaine, she ran hastily to the Baker, threatning to send an evill
spirit to kill him, by meane of her conjurations. But peradventure some
scrupulous reader may demand me a question, how I, being an Asse, and
tyed alwayes in the mill house, could know the secrets of these women:
Verily I answer, notwithstanding my shape of an Asse, I had the sence
and knowledge of a man, and curiously endeavoured to know out such
injuries as were done to my master. About noone there came a woman
into the Milhouse, very sorrowfull, raggedly attired, with bare feete,
meigre, ill-favoured, and her hayre scattering upon her face: This woman
tooke the Baker by the hand, and faining that she had some secret matter
to tell him, went into a chamber, where they remained a good space, till
all the corne was ground, when as the servants were compelled to call
their master to give them more corne, but when they had called very
often, and no person gave answer, they began to mistrust, insomuch that
they brake open the doore: when they were come in, they could not find
the woman, but onely their master hanging dead upon a rafter of the
chamber, whereupon they cryed and lamented greatly, and according to the
custome, when they had washed themselves, they tooke the body and buried
it. The next day morrow, the daughter of the Baker, which was married
but a little before to one of the next Village, came crying and beating
her breast, not because she heard of the death of her father by any
man, but because his lamentable spirit, with a halter about his necke
appeared to her in the night, declaring the whole circumstance of his
death, and how by inchantment he was descended into hell, which caused
her to thinke that her father was dead. After that she had lamented a
good space, and was somewhat comforted by the servants of the house, and
when nine dayes were expired, as inheretrix to her father, she sold away
all the substance of the house, whereby the goods chanced into divers
mens hands.
THE FORTY-SECOND CHAPTER
How Apuleius after the Baker was hanged, was sold to a Gardener, and
what dreadfull things happened.
There was a poore Gardener amongst the rest, which bought me for the
summe of fifty pence, which seemed to him a great price, but he thought
to gayne it againe by the continuall travell of my body. The matter
requireth to tell likewise, how I was handled in his service. This
Gardener accustomed to drive me, every morning laded with hearbes to the
next Village, and when he had sold his hearbes, hee would mount upon
my backe and returne to the Garden, and while he digged the ground and
watered the hearbes, and went about other businesse, I did nothing but
repose my selfe with great ease, but when Winter approached with sharpe
haile, raine and frosts, and I standing under a hedge side, was welnigh
killed up with cold, and my master was so poore that he had no lodging
for himselfe, much lesse had he any littor or place to cover me withall,
for he himselfe alwayes lay under a little roofe shadowed with boughes.
In the morning when I arose, I found my hoofes shriveled together with
cold, and unable to passe upon the sharpe ice, and frosty mire, neither
could I fill my belly with meate, as I accustomed to doe, for my master
and I supped together, and had both one fare: howbeit it was very
slender since as wee had nothing else saving old and unsavoury sallets
which were suffered to grow for seed, like long broomes, and that had
lost all their sweet sappe and juice.
It fortuned on a day that an honest man of the next village was
benighted and constrained by reason of the rain to lodge (very lagged
and weary).in our Garden, where although he was but meanely received,
yet it served well enough considering time and necessity. This honest
man to recompence our entertainment, promised to give my master some
corne, oyle, and two bottels of wine: wherefore my master not delaying
the matter, laded me with sackes and bottels, and rode to the Towne
which was seaven miles off.
When we came to the honest mans house, he entertained and feasted my
master exceedingly. And it fortuned while they eate and dranke together
as signe of great amity there chanced a strange and dreadfull case: for
there was a Hen which ran kackling about the yard, as though she would
have layed an Egge. The good man of the house perceiving her, said: O
good and profitable pullet that feedest us every day with thy fruit,
thou seemest as though thou wouldest give us some pittance for our
dinner: Ho boy put the Pannier in the corner that the Hen may lay. Then
the boy did as his master commanded, but the Hen forsaking the Pannier,
came toward her master and laid at his feet not an Egge, which every
man knoweth, but a Chickin with feathers, clawes, and eyes, which
incontinently ran peeping after his damme. By and by happened a more
strange thing, which would cause any man to abhorre: under the Table
where they sate, the ground opened, and there appeared a great well and
fountain of bloud, insomuch that the drops thereof sparckled about the
Table. At the same time while they wondred at this dreadfull sight one
of the Servants came running out of the Seller, and told that all the
wine was boyled out of the vessels, as though there had beene some great
fire under. By and by a Weasel was scene that drew into the house a dead
Serpent, and out of the mouth of a Shepheards dog leaped a live frog,
and immediately after one brought word that a Ram had strangled the same
dog at one bit. All these things that happened, astonied the good man of
the house, and the residue that were present, insomuch that they could
not tell what to doe, or with what sacrifice to appease the anger of
the gods. While every man was thus stroken in feare, behold, one brought
word to the good man of the house, that his three sonnes who had been
brought up in good literature, and endued with good manners were dead,
for they three had great acquaintance and ancient amity with a poore man
which was their neighbour, and dwelled hard by them: and next unto him
dwelled another young man very rich both in lands and goods, but bending
from the race of his progenies dissentions, and ruling himselfe in the
towne according to his owne will. This young royster did mortally hate
this poore man, insomuch that he would kill his sheepe, steale his oxen,
and spoyle his corne and other fruits before the time of ripenesse, yet
was he not contented with this, but he would encroch upon the poore mans
ground, and clayme all the heritage as his owne. The poore man which
was very simple and fearefull, seeing all his goods taken away by the
avarice of the rich man, called together and assembled many of his
friends to shew them all his land, to the end he might have but so much
ground of his fathers heritage, as might bury him. Amongst whom, he
found these three brethren, as friends to helpe and ayd him in his
adversity and tribulation.
Howbeit, the presence of these honest Citizens, could in no wise
perswade him to leave his extort power, no nor yet to cause any
temperance of his tongue, but the more they went about with gentle
words to tell him his faults, the more would he fret and likewise fume,
swearing all the oathes under God, that he little regarded the presence
of the whole City, whereupon incontinently he commanded his servants to
take the poore man by the eares, and carry him out of his ground, which
greatly offended all the standers by. Then one of the brethren spake
unto him somewhat boldly, saying: It is but a folly to have such
affiance in your riches, whereby you should use your tyranny against the
poore, when as the law is common for all men, and a redresse may be
had to suppresse your insolency. These words chafed him more then the
burning oile, or flaming brimstone, or scourge of whipps, saying: that
they should be hanged and their law too, before he would be subject
unto any person: and therewithall he called out his bandogges and great
masties, which accustomed to eate the carrion and carkases of dead
beasts in the fields, and to set upon such as passed by the way: then
he commanded they should be put upon all the assistance to teare them
in peeces: who as soone as they heard the hisse of their master, ran
fiercely upon them invading them on every side, insomuch that the more
they flied to escape away, the more cruell and terrible were the dogges.
It fortuned amongst all this fearefull company, that in running, the
youngest of the three brethren stombled at a stone, and fell down to the
ground: Then the dogs came upon him and tare him in peeces with their
teeth, whereby he was compelled to cry for succour: His other two
brethren hearing his lamentable voice ran towards him to helpe him,
casting their cloakes about their left armes, tooke up stones to chase
away the dogs, but all was in vaine, for they might see their brother
dismembred in every part of his body: Who lying at the very point of
death, desired his brethren to revenge his death against that cruell
tyrant: And therewithall lie gave up the ghost. The other two brethren
perceiving so great a murther, and neglecting their owne lives, like
desperate persons dressed themselves against the tyrant, and threw a
great number of stones at him, but the bloudy theefe exercised in such
and like mischiefes, tooke a speare and thrust it cleane through the
body: howbeit he fell not downe to the ground. For the speare that came
out at his backe ran into the earth, and sustained him up. By and by
came one of these tyrants servants the most sturdiest of the rest to
helpe his master, who at the first comming tooke up a stone and threw at
the third brother, but by reason the stone ran along his arme it did not
hurt him, which chanced otherwise then all mens expectation was: by and
by the young man feigning that his arme was greatly wounded, spake these
words unto the cruell bloud sucker: Now maist thou, thou wretch, triumph
upon the destruction of all our family, now hast thou fed thy insatiable
cruelty with the bloud of three brethren, now maist thou rejoyce at the
fall of us Citizens, yet thinke not but that how farre thou dost remove
and extend the bounds of thy land, thou shalt have some neighbor, but
how greatly am I sorry in that I have lost mine arme wherewithall I
minded to cut off thy head. When he had spoken these words, the furious
theefe drew out his dagger, and running upon the young man thought
verily to have slaine him, but it chanced otherwise: For the young man
resisted him stoutly, and in buckling together by violence wrested the
dagger out of his hand: which done, he killed the rich theefe with his
owne weapon, and to the intent the young man would escape the hands of
the servants which came running to assist their master, with the same
dagger he cut his owne throat. These things were signified by the
strange and dreadfull wondres which fortuned in the house of the good
man, who after he had heard these sorrowfull tydings could in no wise
weepe, so farre was he stroken with dolour, but presently taking his
knife wherewith he cut his cheese and other meate before, he cut his
owne throat likewise, in such sort that he fell upon the bord and
imbraced the table with the streames of his blond, in most miserable
manner. Hereby was my master the Gardener deprived of his hope, and
paying for his dinner the watry teares of his eyes, mounted upon my
backe and so we went homeward the same way as wee came.
THE FORTY-THIRD CHAPTER
How Apuleius was found by his shadow.
As wee passed by the way wee met with a tall souldier (for so his habite
and countenance declared) who with proud and arrogant words spake to my
master in this sort:
Quorsum vacuum ducis Asinum?
My master somewhat astonied at the strange sights which he saw before,
and ignorant of the Latine tongue, roade on and spake never a word: The
souldier unable to refraine his insolence, and offended at his silence,
strake him on the shoulders as he sate on my backe; then my master
gently made answer that he understood not what he said, whereat the
souldier angerly demanded againe, whither he roade with his Asse? Marry
(quoth he) to the next City: But I (quoth the souldier) have need of
his helpe, to carry the trusses of our Captaine from yonder Castle, and
therewithall he tooke me by the halter and would violently have taken me
away: but my master wiping away the blood of the blow which he received
of the souldier, desired him gently and civilly to take some pitty upon
him, and to let him depart with his owne, swearing and affirming that
his slow Asse, welnigh dead with sicknesse, could scarce carry a few
handfuls of hearbs to the next towne, much lesse he was able to beare
any greater trusses: but when he saw the souldier would in no wise
be intreated, but ready with his staffe to cleave my masters head, my
master fell down at his feete, under colour to move him to some pitty,
but when he saw his time, he tooke the souldier by the legs and cast him
upon the ground: Then he buffetted him, thumped him, bit him, and tooke
a stone and beat his face and his sides, that he could not turne and
defend himselfe, but onely threaten that if ever he rose, he would
choppe him in pieces. The Gardener when he heard him say so, drew out
his javelin which hee had by his side, and when he had throwne it away,
he knockt and beate him more cruelly then he did before, insomuch that
the souldier could not tell by what meanes to save himselfe, but by
feining that he was dead, Then my master tooke the javelin and mounted
upon my backe, riding in all hast to the next village, having no regard
to goe to his Garden, and when he came thither, he turned into one of
his friends house and declared all the whole matter, desiring him to
save his life and to hide himselfe and his Asse in some secret
place, untill such time as all danger were past. Then his friends not
forgetting the ancient amity betweene them, entertained him willingly
and drew me up a paire of staires into a chamber, my master crept into
a chest, and lay there with the cover closed fast: The souldier (as I
afterwards learned) rose up as one awaked from a drunken sleepe, but he
could scarce goe by reason of his wounds: howbeit at length by little
and little through ayd of his staffe he came to the towne, but hee would
not declare the matter to any person nor complaine to any justice, lest
he should be accused of cowardise or dastardnesse, yet in the end he
told some of his companions of all the matter that happened: then they
tooke him and caused him to be closed in some secret place, thinking
that beside the injury which he had received, he should be accused of
the breach of his faith, by reason of the losse of his speare, and when
they had learned the signes of my master, they went to search him out:
at last there was an unfaithfull neighbour that told them where he was,
then incontinently the souldiers went to the Justice declaring that
they had lost by the way a silver goblet of their Captaines, and that a
Gardener had found it, who refusing to deliver the goblet, was hidden in
one of his friends houses: by and by the Magistrates understanding the
losse of the Captaine, came to the doores where we were, commanded our
host to deliver my master upon paine of death: howbeit these threatnings
could not enforce him to confesse that he was within his doores, but by
reason of his faithfull promise and for the safeguard of his friend, he
said, that hee saw not the Gardener a great while, neither knew where
he was: the souldiers said contrary, whereby to know the verity of
the matter, the Magistrates commanded their Seargants and ministers
to search every corner of the house, but when they could find neither
Gardener nor Asse, there was a great contention betweene the souldiers
and our Host, for they sayd we were within the house: and he said no,
but I that was very curious to know the matter, when I heard so great
a noyse, put my head out of the window to learne what the stirre and
tumult did signifie. It fortuned that one of the souldiers perceived my
shadow, whereupon he began to cry, saying: that hee had certainly seene
me; then they were all glad and came up into the chamber, and pulled me
downe like a prisoner. When they had found mee, they doubted nothing of
the Gardener, but seeking about more narrowly, at length they found him
couched in a chest. And so they brought out the poore gardener to the
Justices, who was committed immediately to prison, but they could never
forbeare laughing from the time they found me by my shadow, wherefore is
risen a common Proverbe: 'The shadow of the Asse.'
THE TENTH BOOKE
THE FORTY-FOURTH CHAPTER
How the souldier drave Apuleius away, and how he came to a Captaines
house, and what happened there.
The next day how my master the Gardener sped, I knew not, but the gentle
souldier, who was well beaten for his cowardise, lead me to his lodging
without the contradiction of any man: Where hee laded me well, and
garnished my body (as seemed to me) like an Asse of armes. For on the
one side I bare an helmet that shined exceedingly: On the other side
a Target that glistered more a thousand folde. And on the top of my
burthen he put a long speare, which things he placed thus gallantly, not
because he was so expert in warre (for the Gardener proved the contrary)
but to the end he might feare those which passed by, when they saw such
a similitude of warre. When we had gone a good part of our journey,
over the plaine and easie fields, we fortuned to come to a little towne,
where we lodged at a certaine Captaines house. And there the souldier
tooke me to one of the servants, while he himselfe went towards his
captaine; who had the charge of a thousand men. And when we had remained
there a few dayes, I understood of a wicked and mischievous fact
committed there, which I have put in writing to the end you may know the
same. The master of the house had a sonne instructed in good literature,
and endued with vertuous manners, such a one as you would desire to have
the like. Long time before his mother dyed, and when his father married
a new wife, and had another child of the age of xii. yeares. The
stepdame was more excellent in beauty then honesty: for she loved this
young man her sonne in law, either because she was unchast by nature,
or because she was enforced by fate of stepmother, to commit so great a
mischiefe. Gentle reader, thou shalt not read of a fable, but rather a
tragedy: This woman when her love began first to kindle in her heart,
could easily resist her desire and inordinate appetite by reason
of shame and feare, lest her intent should be knowne: But after it
compassed and burned every part of her brest, she was compelled to yeeld
unto the raging flame of Cupid, and under colour of the disease and
infirmity of her body, to conceale the wound of her restlesse mind.
Every man knoweth well the signes and tokens of love, and the malady
convenient to the same: Her countenance was pale, her eyes sorrowfull,
her knees weake, and there was no comfort in her, but continuall weeping
and sobbing, insomuch that you would have thought that she had some
spice of an ague, saving that she wept unmeasurably: the Phisitians
knew not her disease, when they felt the beating of her veines, the
intemperance of her heart, the sobbing sighes, and her often tossing of
every side: No, no, the cunning Phisitian knew it not, but a scholler of
Venus Court might easily conjecture the whole. After that she had beene
long time tormented in her affliction, and was no more able to conceale
her ardent desire, shee caused her sonne to be called for, (which word
son she would faine put away if it were not for shame:) Then he nothing
disobedient to the commandement of his mother, with a sad and modest
countenance, came into the chamber of his stepdame, the mother of his
brother, but she speaking never a word was in great doubt what she might
doe, and could not tell what to say first, by reason of shame. The young
man suspecting no ill, with humble courtesie demanded the cause of her
present disease. Then she having found an occasion to utter her intent,
with weeping eyes and covered face, began boldly to speake unto him in
this manner: Thou, thou, art the originall cause of all my dolour:
Thou art my comfort and onely health, for those thy comely eyes are
so enfastned within my brest, that unlesse they succour me, I shall
certainly die: Have pitty therefore upon me, be not the occasion of my
destruction, neither let my conscience reclaime to offend thy father,
when as thou shalt save the life of thy mother. Moreover since thou dost
resemble thy fathers shape in every point, it giveth me cause the more
to fancy thee: Now is ministred unto thee time and place: Now hast thou
occasion to worke thy will, seeing that we are alone. And it is a common
saying:
Never knowne, never done.
This young man troubled in mind at so suddaine an ill, although hee
abhorred to commit so beastly a crime, yet hee would not cast her off
with a present deniall, but warily pacified her mind with delay of
promise. Wherefore he promised to doe all according to her desire:
And in the meane season, he willed his mother to be of good cheere, and
comfort her selfe till as he might find some convenient time to come
unto her, when his father was ridden forth: Wherewithall hee got him
away from the pestilent sight of his stepdame. And knowing that this
matter touching the ruine of all the whole house needed the counsell
of wise and grave persons, he went incontinently to a sage old man and
declared the whole circumstance of the matter. The old man after long
deliberation, thought there was no better way to avoyd the storme of
cruell fortune to come, then to run away. In the meane season this
wicked woman impatient of her love, and the long delay of her sonne,
egged her husband to ride abroad into farre countreyes. And then she
asked the young-man the accomplishment of his promise, but he to rid
himselfe entirely from her hands, would find alwayes excuses, till in
the end she understood by the messengers that came in and out, that he
nothing regarded her. Then she by how much she loved him before, by so
much and more she hated him now. And by and by she called one of her
servants, ready to all mischiefes: To whom she declared all her secrets.
And there it was concluded betweene them two, that the surest way was
to kill the young man: Whereupon this varlet went incontinently to buy
poyson, which he mingled with wine, to the intent he would give it to
the young man to drinke, and thereby presently to kill him. But while
they were in deliberation how they might offer it unto him, behold here
happened a strange adventure. For the young sonne of the woman that came
from schoole at noone (being very thirsty) tooke the pot wherein the
poyson was mingled, and ignorant of the venim, dranke a good draught
thereof, which was prepared to kill his brother: whereby he presently
fell downe to the ground dead. His schoolemaster seeing his suddaine
change, called his mother, and all the servants of the house with a lowd
voyce. Incontinently every man declared his opinion, touching the death
of the child: but the cruell woman the onely example of stepmothers
malice, was nothing moved by the bitter death of her sonne, or by her
owne conscience of paracide, or by the misfortune of her house, or by
the dolour of her husband, but rather devised the destruction of all her
family. For by and by shee sent a messenger after her husband to tell
him the great misfortune which happened after his departure. And when
lie came home, the wicked woman declared that his sonne had empoysoned
his brother, because he would not consent to his will, and told him
divers other leasings, adding in the end that hee threatned to kill her
likewise, because she discovered the fact: Then the unhappy father was
stroken with double dolour of the death of his two children, for on the
one side he saw his younger sonne slaine before his eyes, on the other
side, he seemed to see the elder condemned to dye for his offence:
Againe, where he beheld his wife lament in such sort, it gave him
further occasion to hate his sonne more deadly; but the funerals of his
younger sonne were scarce finished, when the old man the father with
weeping eyes even at the returne from the grave, went to the Justice and
accused his sonne of the slaughter of his brother, and how he threatned
to slay his wife, whereby the rather at his weeping and lamentation, he
moved all the Magistrates and people to pitty, insomuch that without any
delay, or further inquisition they cryed all that hee should be stoned
to death, but the Justices fearing a farther inconvenience to arise by
the particular vengeance, and to the end there might fortune no sedition
amongst the people, prayed the decurions and other Officers of the City,
that they might proceed by examination of witnesses, and with order of
justice according to the ancient custome before the judging of any hasty
sentence or judgment, without the hearing of the contrary part, like as
the barbarous and cruell tyrants accustome to use: otherwise they should
give an ill example to their successours. This opinion pleased every
man, wherefore the Senatours and counsellors were called, who being
placed in order according to their dignity, caused the accuser and
defender to be brought forth, and by the example of the Athenian law,
and judgement materiall, their Advocates were commanded to plead their
causes briefly without preambles or motions of the people to pitty,
which were too long a processe. And if you demand how I understood all
this matter, you shall understand that I heard many declare the same,
but to recite what words the accuser used in his invective, what answer
the defender made, the orations and pleadings of each party, verily I
am not able to doe: for I was fast bound at the manger. But as I learned
and knew by others, I will God willing declare unto you. So it was
ordered, that after the pleadings of both sides was ended, they thought
best to try and boult out the verity by witnesses, all presumptions and
likelihood set apart, and to call in the servant, who onely was reported
to know all the matter: by and by the servant came in, who nothing
abashed, at the feare of so great a judgment, or at the presence of the
Judges, or at his owne guilty conscience, which hee so finely fained,
but with a bold countenance presented himselfe before the justices and
confirmed the accusation against the young man, saying: O yee judges, on
a day when this young man loathed and hated his stepmother, hee called
mee, desiring mee to poyson his brother, whereby hee might revenge
himselfe, and if I would doe it and keepe the matter secret, hee
promised to give me a good reward for my paines: but when the young man
perceived that I would not accord to his will, he threatned to slay mee,
whereupon hee went himselfe and bought poyson, and after tempered it
with wine, and then gave it me to give the child, which when I refused
he offered it to his brother with his own hands. When the varlet with a
trembling countenance had ended these words which seemed a likelihood
of truth, the judgement was ended: neither was there found any judge or
counsellor, so mercifull to the young man accused, as would not judge
him culpable, but that he should be put and sowne in a skin, with
a dogge, a Cocke, a Snake, and an Ape, according to the law against
parricides: wherefore they wanted nothing but (as the ancient custome
was) to put white stones and black into a pot, and to take them out
againe, to see whether the young-man accused should be acquitted by
judgment or condemned, which was a thing irrevocable. |
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