By Far Euphrates A Tale 27
Jack sprang up and came to him at once, with an exclamation of pity and
sorrow. "Baron Muggurditch Thomassian!" he said.
"Don't speak to me!" said Thomassian, turning on him a look of
unutterable anguish.
He went to the most distant corner of the prison, the rest making way
for him. No one ventured to approach him with enquiries or condolences,
though they all knew him by sight, and several were amongst his
acquaintances.
He sat down--or rather, lay down--upon the ground, and turned his face
towards the wall.
Low, furtive whispers passed among the others.
"So much to lose. What can all his money do now?"
"Better had he shown mercy and given to the poor."
But these were quickly hushed, lest he should overhear. They did not
want to hurt the feelings of the unhappy man, whom indeed they would
have gladly comforted, if they had known how. But, as this seemed
impossible, they left him to himself; and their talk soon wandered back
to their own situation, and the momentous choice that was set before
them.
Some were steadfast and comparatively serene. Others wavered, and two or
three seemed disposed to give way. All prayed much and often. Most of
them could sing, and, led by a few of the braver spirits, they made the
gloomy walls resound with Psalms and hymns, especially with that
favourite of the Armenians,--
"Jesus, I my cross have taken."
Once John Grayson's voice broke down in singing it, for he heard Shushan
saying to him, "The cross of Christ has been laid on us together." Only,
if it could be, that he might bear the heaviest end, and that she need
never know of all this!
Meanwhile, Thomassian never spoke, and scarcely ever moved from the
place where he sat, or lay, his face turned away from the rest. He ate
little, and they could not see that he slept. Once or twice they noticed
that his tears were falling silently. But not even a groan or sigh told
of the anguish of his soul.
The days seemed unending, but still they drew towards an end. Ay, and
far too quickly for those who looked forward with unutterable dread to
what was to come after! The only breaks in the monotony were the
jailor's daily visits with bread and water. Generally he came and went
without a word; but on the evening of their last day of grace he broke
the silence.
"You Giaours had better be learning your 'La illaha ill Allah'
to-night," he said, "for if you have not got it off by to-morrow
morning, you die like the dogs you are."
Then he shut the door, and left them to themselves.
There was a long silence, only interrupted by a few sorrowful "Amaans!"
It was broken at last by the youngest in the room, a lad of some
eighteen years. "I would not be afraid," he said plaintively, "if I
thought they would kill us at once. Were it only a shot or a
sword-thrust, that were easy to bear. But to be killed slowly--cut in
little pieces--or perhaps like some----"
"Hush, boy!" Kaspar Hohanian interrupted. "Whatever they do to us, it
must be over sometime. And then--there is heaven beyond."
"Ay," said an older man, "there is heaven for _us_, after a brief agony.
But, friends, we have not ourselves alone to think of; there are our
wives and children."
"True," another chimed in; "if we die, they starve."
"If we die, they do worse than starve," the former speaker resumed. "To
_what_ fate do we leave our women, our girls? You know it _all_,
brothers. Whereas, if we turn Moslems, they will be safe, and under
protection."
"You are speaking well," observed a third. "And I cannot think, for my
part, that the Lord Jesus will be angry with us when He knows all. Has
He not given us our families to take care of? Does not His holy Apostle
say in his Letter, 'If any provide not for his own, and specially for
those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an
infidel'? If we _must_ deny the faith, and be infidels, it seems as well
to do it one way as another."
"And I have my old father to think of; he will die of grief," a sad
voice murmured.
"'He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and
he that loveth son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me,'" said
another voice, unheard till then amongst them. Thomassian rose up in his
place, and looked around him on the group. His whole appearance was
changed--transfigured; his look firm and fearless, his eyes shining as
if with some inner light.
"My brothers," he said, "you think I have no right to speak to you, that
it ill becomes _me_ to take upon my lips the words of my Lord and
Saviour. And you think that which is true."
"No, no," murmured two or three, unwilling, in that supreme hour, to
give pain to a fellow-sufferer.
But Kaspar said more frankly, "To confess the truth, we none of us
thought you were a religious man, Baron Thomassian."
"I was _not_. I lived for the things seen, not for the things unseen,
which are eternal. Very early I said to myself, 'I am an Armenian, one
of an oppressed, down-trodden race. I cannot rise, make a mark in the
world, and win its splendid prizes. Yet I have brains. I have the power
to will, to plan, to execute. What can I do?' There was but one
answer--'I can get wealth, and wealth means safety, enjoyment,
influence.' So I tried to get wealth, and I got it by honest industry.
At least in the beginning, my hands were clean enough. I prospered; I
surrounded myself with comforts, with luxuries. I took to wife a lady,
whom--God help me!--I love as truly as any man among you loves his own.
But--ah me!--I forgot God."
"So no doubt have we all, some more, some less," said Kaspar Hohanian.
"If there is any one here who feels _that_, let him look up and take
comfort," Thomassian went on, "for not one among you has gone from Him
so far as I. But, though I forgot Him, He has remembered me. I was led
on from one thing to another; until, for the sake of gain, I did some
things of which the thought can sting me even now. I was hard upon the
poor, and upon my debtors. I did wrong in various ways, and even to some
who trusted me. Mr. John Grayson, you are one of those I wronged."
Jack started at the unexpected utterance of his name.
"It is no time now to think of wrongs," he said.
"No, for him who has suffered--yes, for him who has done the wrong.
After that time I saw you in Biridjik, I went indeed to Aleppo, but I
did not take your letter with me, nor did I speak for you to the Consul.
For he and I, just then, were at daggers drawn. I had used his name and
influence, and the presence of his dragoman, to pass through the Custom
House some prohibited drugs. He was angry, and with reason. I did not
dare to face him. I wanted to be rid of your letter, for fear of
complications; so I just dropped it into the post office at Tel Bascher,
where I have little doubt it lies until this day."
"Then my friends have _not_ been false to me," Jack said, much moved.
"And, if my letter had come to them, they might have saved me--and
Shushan," his heart added.
Thomassian came over close to him, and stretched out his hand. "Can you
forgive me?" he asked.
Jack was silent for just a moment. Then he said slowly, "'_As_ we
forgive them that trespass against us.' Yes, Baron Thomassian, I _do_
forgive you, in His name whom we hope so soon to see." "But, oh! how I
wish you had spoken!" he could not help thinking, tho' he crushed back
the words in time. "Don't think it would have made a difference," he
said. "I _do_ forgive you, with all my heart."
"It might have changed everything, or it might not," Thomassian said
mournfully. "I have no power now to undo that wrong, or any of the
others I have done. Friends, while I sat in silence yonder, my face
turned from you all, the sins of my whole life came upon me. They swept
over my head like black waters, they seemed to choke my very life out.
The thought of death was terrible. I _could_ not die, and go into God's
presence thus. And yet, to give up my faith would only be to add another
sin, and one for which there is no pardon."
"Oh, no!" Jack threw in. "That is too hard a saying."
"Surely," Thomassian said, "if you go away from the light, you must
remain in darkness; if you go away from the Christ, you must remain
unforgiven. That was what I came to in those days of anguish. I thought
I _could_ not let Christ go. I know now it was Christ that would not let
me go. My brothers, all that time that I lay silent there, not joining
in your prayers, your hymns, your counsel-taking, my whole heart has
been one desperate cry to Him, 'Oh, Christ, forgive me! Even now, at
this eleventh hour, take my spoiled life, and receive me into Thy
kingdom!'"
There was a silence.
"Has He heard?" Kaspar asked at last.
Thomassian bowed his head low, and veiled his face with both hands. "I
stand among you confounded and ashamed," he said.
"Because God was silent to you?" said the youth Dikran, in a pitying
voice.
"Because God was _not_ silent to me," Thomassian answered, removing his
hands, and turning on them a face full of awe-struck gladness, "because
to me--the last and least of you--to me, who had forgotten Him and
sinned against Him so, even to me He has revealed Himself."
"How?" asked two or three, drawing near him with looks of reverence.
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