The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures 34
The soldier, or the sailor, who accosts one in the street,
Can shew the scars he got, or tell the enemy he beat;
When a begging he does go, does go, does go, when a begging
he does go.
But here's a bold impostor, the sauciest of the batch,
Who never won a fight at all, and never got a scratch;
Yet a begging he does go, does go, does go, and a begging
he does go.
He has not dealt in blows and blood as silly people think,
But is a very hero,--in the way of pen and ink;
But a begging he does go, does go, does go, but a begging
he does go.
And thus he can produce us, of the battles he has seen,
Certificates on paper--having none upon his skin,
When a begging he does go, does go, does go, when a begging
he does go.
While other soldiers Paris took, and France at freedom set,
This rival hero storm'd a jail, and rescued Lavalette.
And a begging he did go, did go, did go, and a begging
he did go.
So as from no French foeman's head he ere won laurel leaf,
He hires a French advocate to praise him from his brief;
And a begging he does go, does go, does go, and a begging
he does go.
Thus we have seen subscriptions which disgrace our factious times,
For every shade, both light and deep, of follies and of crimes;
When a begging they do go, do go, do go, when a begging
they do go.
For drunkards, gamblers, libellers, thieves, smugglers, defamators,
For forgers and blasphemers, and for murderers and traitors,
A begging they do go, do go, do go, a begging
they do go.
To Wilson's list we wish success; because we hope the money
Will go to the poor families of Francis and of Hopney;
Since a begging they do go, do go, do go, since a begging
they do go.
For all folks must agree, else differ how they may,
That they were kill'd upon the field, whence Wilson sneak'd away;
Though a begging he does go, does go, does go, though a begging
he does go.
BUBBLES OF 1825.
_Tune_--"Run, Neighbours, run."
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share,
In all the famous projects that amuse John Bull;
Run, take a peep on 'Change, for anxious crowds beset us there,
Each trying which can make himself the greatest gull.
No sooner are they puff'd, than an universal wish there is
For shares in mines, insurances, in foreign loans, and fisheries:
No matter where the project lies, so violent the mania,
In Africa, New Providence, Peru, or Pennsylvania!
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
Few folks for news very anxious at this crisis are,
For marriages, and deaths, and births, no thirst exists;
All take the papers in, to find out what the prices are
Of shares in this or that, upon the brokers' lists.
The doctor leaves his patient, the pedagogue his Lexicon,
For mines of Real Monte, or for those of Anglo-Mexican:
E'en Chili bonds don't cool the rage, nor those still more romantic,
sir,
For new canals to join the seas, Pacific and Atlantic, sir.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
At home we have projects too for draining surplus capital,
And honest Master Johnny of his cash to chouse;
Tho' t'other day, Judge Abbott gave a rather sharpish slap at all,
And Eldon launch'd his thunder from the Upper House.
Investment banks to lend a lift to people who are undone--
Proposals for assurance--there's no end of that in London;
And one amongst the number, who in Parliament now press their Bills,
For lending cash at eight per cent. on coats and inexpressibles.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
No more with her bright pails the milkman's rosy daughter works,
A Company must serve you now with milk and cream;
Perhaps they've some connection with the advertising water-works,
That promise to supply you from the limpid stream.
Another body corporate would fain some pence and shillings get,
By selling fish at Hungerford, and knocking up old Billingsgate;
Another takes your linen, when it's dirty, to the suds, sir,
And brings it home in carriages with four nice bits of blood, sir.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
When Greenwich coaches go by steam on roads of iron railing, sir,
How pleasant it will be to see a dozen in a line;
And ships of heavy burden over hills and valleys sailing, sir,
Shall cross from Bristol's Channel to the Tweed or Tyne.
And Dame Speculation, if she ever fully hath her ends,
Will give us docks at Bermondsey, St. Saviour's, and St. Catherine's;
While side-long bridges over mud shall fill the folks with wonder,
sir,
And lamp-light tunnels all day long, convey Cockneys under, sir.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
A tunnel underneath the sea, from Calais straight to Dover, sir,
That qualmish folks may cross by land from shore to shore,
With sluices made to drown the French, if e'er they would come over,
sir,
Has long been talk'd of, till at length 'tis thought a monstrous
bore.
Amongst the many scheming folks, I take it he's no ninny, sir,
Who bargains with the Ashantees to fish the coast of Guinea, sir.
For, secretly, 'tis known, that another brilliant view he has,
Of lighting up the famous town of Timbuctoo with oil gas.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
Then a company is form'd, though not yet advertising,
To build, upon a splendid scale, a large balloon,
And send up tools and broken stones for fresh Mac-Adamizing
The new discover'd turnpike-roads which cross the moon.
But the most inviting scheme of all, is one proposed for carrying
Large furnaces to melt the ice which hems poor Captain Parry in;
They'll then have steam-boats twice a week to all the newly-seen
land,
And call for goods and passengers at Labrador and Greenland!
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
THE GRAND REVOLUTION!
_Tune_--"The Tight Little Island."
"Ye Whigs, now attend, and list to a friend,
If you value a free Constitution,
Every nerve let us strain for the patriots of Spain,
And cry up their brave Revolution.
Huzza! for the brave Revolution!
Success to the brave Revolution!
We'll all to a man, bawl as loud as we can,
Huzza! for the brave Revolution!
"When Boney invaded their country, and waded
Through oceans of blood to make Joe king,
We ne'er made a push, and cared not a rush
If Spain had a king, or had no king:
But then there was no Revolution!
No enlightening, wise Revolution!
They only fought then, for their king back again,
And not for a brave Revolution!
"We once made a rout, most valiant and stout,
For Naples to throw off her yoke, sirs,
But Tories so wary, vow'd base Carbonari
Were thieves, and their valour all smoke, sirs!
To nought came their grand Revolution!
Upset was their grand Revolution!
Poor, thick-headed calves, they were rebels by halves
And made nought of their grand Revolution!
"Then we spouted for weeks, in aid of the Greeks,
But they proved rather lax in their works, sirs,
For the brave Parguinotes, in cutting of throats,
Excell'd e'en the murderous Turks, sirs;
So we gave up the Greek Revolution,
None thought of the Greek Revolution,
Folks cared not a straw whether Turkish Bashaw
Ruled the roast--or the Greek Revolution.
"But Spain, with true bravery, spurning her slavery,
Vows she'll have freedom, or die now,
And all that she'll need will be trifles indeed,
Such as arms, ammunition, and rhino!
Success to her brave resolutions!
And just to collect contributions,
At dinner we'll meet in Bishopsgate-street,
In aid of her brave resolutions!"
So to feasting they went, on a Friday in Lent,
And muster'd what forces they could, sirs;
There was Duke San Lorenzo, with plenty of friends, O,
Great Sussex, and Alderman Wood, sirs!
The Spaniards push'd hard their petition
For money to buy ammunition,
But they met with a balk, for Whigs are all talk,
With nought else would they help their petition.
They didn't ask Hume, for fear, in a fume,
At the cost of the war he'd be nibbling,
So they left him to fight in the Commons all night,
With Palmerston's estimates quibbling.
He there with much circumlocution,
Moved many a wise resolution,
While the still wiser Whigs were feasting like pigs,
In the cause of the grand Revolution!
댓글 없음:
댓글 쓰기